Wednesday, December 16, 2009

the answer to (why?)...:)

as most would've noticed, i haven't been blogging as much as i have been a year ago. hard as i try to complete an entry, i would more often be left hanging with its ending..unable to complete a story. so after a long while, i finally figured the reason behind the closing block...which is, i write just for the sake of updating this blog instead of writing to express what i really feel. i lost sight of why i started this blog in the first place, which is to express my feelings and share my experiences. forcing myself to write totally defeats the initial objective.

there are several reasons (or more accurately, mistakes) to why it happened and one of the major reason is, i was trying hard to make my entries worth reading...but everytime i do, it would end up in my draft folder torn between whether it should be published or left just as it is, obviously the latter triumphed haha.

maybe i've come to realize that i do care about what other people think of what i write, and i should take into account that some (or most) of my readers are people that i know who indirectly (or directly) plays a part in my observation for writing inspirations. i failed to consider that humans can be self-centred and vain, that any resemblance of what was written may be viewed as something which concerns them even when the truth is, it doesn't..well okay, maybe one or two entries (minus the ones i wrote in regards to my unsuccessful relationship haha) and that was only because i was provoked to retaliate hahaha. but my mind works best when i don't have to worry about what other people think.

now herein where my dilemma resides, should i write as how my observation dictates or should i refrain from doing so or else face the gallows of being judged and probably criticized or ostracized for using my own experiences as a mode of inspiration? haha, what am i talking about..the obvious answer is already there! to write means having a muse, and a muse is where our inspiration presents itself. so why would one choose a writer's block over a muse right? hahaha.

this time around when inspiration dictates me to write, i will willingly do its bidding (only if i deem it fit) hahaha. so to all readers, expect more consistent entries in the future. if any of you has something against what i write, rest assured that it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with me because it is myself under scrutiny when i do post an entry. it's my life, my senses, my psyche and my experiences under the microscope. ciao peeps..:).

sometimes, answers would come from the most unexpected sources...:)

1 comment:

JerryInc said...

you know what Dan, it does help :). Thanks and Merry Christmas to you too :)