Ludicrous Rambling

in memory of: steve jobs

2011-10-06T10:18:00.006+08:00

i wanted to write about psychopathy and sociopathy from my own perspective, but that would have to wait since today is a sad day for most people (techies especially). Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, an entrepreneur and inventor passed away at the age of 56.

normally, the deaths of prominent people don't affect me much or at all regardless of whether they are religious figures, celebrities or politicians simply because (in my opinion) they have reached a point where they can't do anything much aside from what they've already done (yeah shallow, i know...) so losing them isn't exactly a loss. in other words, they've accomplished their task.

when i read the news on steve job's demise, a feeling of loss crept in and the weird part is that i'm not even a fan of him or do i follow up on his activities...i don't even own any iphones, ipads, ipods or other apple products! what i felt in that instant was, a loss of a great man with a great mind who (if he was alive and well) could bring in new inventions and innovations to a higher level!

but then again, he has done a lot during his lifetime and (probably) left the world without regret. He was also (probably) loved and respected by many.

so ask the question. who are we and what can we do to change the world?

RIP Steve Jobs. you will be missed.

if i could...would i?

2011-09-26T09:28:00.008+08:00

having blessed with free will, freedom and a mind of our own, it's not surprising that we tend to come up with crazy (or probably radical) ideas of how we want to experience or experiment things first hand just to fulfill our curiosities. heck, this was how inventions and innovations came to be.

but sometimes, these curiosities can take a turn for the worse when the thoughts get a little bit on the dark side. because of this, i sometimes scare myself with the things that i conjure up in my head.

this may sound wrong in many levels, but there have been times when i had thought of seeing someone bleed to death from a single open wound such as a cut to the wrist or to any one major veins. gory accidents doesn't count as there would be blood all around, leaving them unsightly messy and probably unconscious.

some other times, i would imagine what it would be like to give the abusers, torturers and killers of humans and animals (out of greed or fun) a taste of their own medicine. would they appreciate what is being done unto them?

after having these scary thoughts, i asked myself if i have the guts to actually inflict pain on others and my sadistic side gladly responded 'yes'...but do i have the heart to commit murder? my conscience was torn at this question but as much i would like to see these people suffer, i could not take another person's life (and hopefully i would never face a situation where i have to) . i can just imagine the burden and guilt of having blood on my hands. correct me if i'm wrong but once you've taken a person's life, it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

sadistically funny isn't it? hahaha :D

next post: psychopath vs sociopath...

tempoRary insaNity...

2011-09-24T11:26:00.009+08:00

everyone goes through that phase where things seem to be meaningless and whatever you're doing or have been doing all these while doesn't amount to be anything much. and when you start questioning your own existence, that's where things can turn for the worse...it's like pouring gasoline to a raging fire.

in situations like this, it helps to have like minded friends who are open as a book or a little bit crazy in doing things that you're into...say for example, a midnight dip by the beach after a drink under the drizzling rain with flashes of lightning and roaring thunder...yes, there's a danger in doing that, but life is full of risks and and it has been proven over and over again that despite the safety precautions that we take, we are never free from the dangers lurking around the corner. so if it's our time, there's nothing much we can do to change that.

after hanging out with my pal last night, it dawned on me how much i missed this type of company. open, unreserved and no or very little pretenses. i like the fact that these people who choose to hang out with me are not doing their best to change the situation but in fact go with the flow and see where the situation leads us and i love it when i can just say out my mind without having to worry about what other people might think. i like and miss the openness these people have.

coming back to the topic, everyone has that insanity streak within them and most are very good at covering it up. but why cover the insanity if it defines the person you really are? it's like telling van gogh to paint as to what his eyes see but not at what his heart feel. if your sanity makes you a better person, it's best to not hide it.

it took me quite awhile to get to terms with my own streaks. i thought that moving to a new environment i could at least be a different person, blend in with the crowd and be just like everyone else who are, to say the least, normal in everyday sense.

but my recent crisis communications workshop proved me otherwise when i failed in my situational interview. instead of just being who i am, i decided to try and act like i was one of those people in the room who were fluent with their responses. bad move, i was more afraid of being wrong by imitating others rather than being right for being me. besides, i was never an actor in the first place.

so who am i really? the answer is: i am an observer of actions and situations, i am best when i'm alone and better when surrounded by few trusted friends, i am an angry person who contradicts himself by smiling and laughing as a way to suppress the rage, i am strange in more ways than one, and a lost and confused lad in this new world of modern age. in other words, i am just like everyone out there who are still trying to find themselves...a unique individual and a normal human among the weird ones :Dyeah, i may be crazy...but i'm not stupid. stay tuned, things might get a little bit darker from here onwards hahaha.

ciao peeps :p

we are a primitive race...

2011-09-22T21:39:00.008+08:00

One has to wonder what are our purposes in life. aside from the usual stuff that we do such as eating, drinking, shitting (hahaha), work, sleep, etc etc... we must have a significant role to play that only ourselves are capable of doing, i mean why else are we created differently from each other?

On my end, i want to do a lot of stuff. unfortunately, the things that i want to do aren't in my capabilities. for example, i'd (very much) like to pass judgment (most likely the death sentence) to whomever kills other people and animals senselessly (and this includes the leaders who wages war against their fellow humans).

I just wish that the day would come when all humans regardless of their race and skin color work together without taking their beliefs or religions as an excuse to refrain from being together as one and i wish that people will someday have the commonality to agree on things for the better sake of a bright future.

Sadly, being (a primitive) human denies us that privilege. which makes me wonder the societal structure for aliens (assuming that they exist) from other planets.

given their highly evolved brain, would they still squabble among themselves in petty stuff to the point of declaring war against each other in their home-world? or do they focus on advancing their civilization to a higher level?

I remember a watching an episode from the sci-fi series 'SG-1' a decade ago which shows a peaceful civilization that banned all form of violence and warfare as it nearly destroyed their world a long time ago. so instead, they focused on advancing their technology to improve their living condition and to protect their home-world from potential threats by other planetary beings. the point that i'm trying to say is that, why can't we as humans work together for our own benefit? why must there be wars in the name of religion, ego or greed? why can't we advance our mentality for the good of mankind?

i'd like to say that my trust and hope on people and humanity is fading, and i'd like to say that i am ashamed of being one of them. but i can't, because as much as i'd like to think otherwise, the fact remains that i am still human and the best i can do now is hope that we humans would someday come to our senses...hopefully sooner.

peace out and cheers...

blogger via android SGS2

the lost boy...

2011-09-20T22:44:00.007+08:00

i feel at loss, not really sure of what. all i can think of is just to crawl into a dark corner and hibernate until it's time for me reappear.

what brought on this nonsense? i have no idea...probably it has something to do with being surrounded by people a lot. this may sound strange coming from someone who is in the public relations field, which suggests strongly that i may be in the wrong profession.

then again, i was never much of a social person. my idea of socializing is being around a small group of 3-5 people. despite being such an anti-social, i have no problem with mingling or interacting with other fellow homo-sapiens but that's only because i have to and not because i want to.

maybe i can crawl into that dark corner and come out only for people i'm comfortable with, and for starters...i'll be catching a movie this Friday with a good pal of mine.

until i'm ready, i'll refrain from logging into my facebook, twitter and group whatsapp. unless it's urgent, i'll refrain from making or replying calls and smses.

describing what exactly i'm feeling right now, it's like there's something missing. just imagine a completed jigsaw puzzle and one piece keeps falling off, overtime you get tired of putting it up every single time and in the end you figured the piece would be much better off left unattended.

or imagine the light and the dark (yeah it's cliche, i know haha). the infighting of trying to reign dominion over an element has gotten to the point where neither elements matter and hazy grey is as good as either one.

ps: before anyone jumps to conclusion, it has nothing to do with relationship issues haha

one obvious sign that shows how lost i am is...i keep asking myself 'who am i' and 'what am i supposed to do'...

losing sight of myself and just need sometime alone...cheers :D

the agenda?...

2011-09-07T09:58:00.006+08:00

I don't have much of an opinion when it comes to politics, but one thing i do know is that politic involves both the politicians and voters...forming somewhat like a symbiotic dependency. as far as observation goes, the politicians tend to get things done when election is just around the corner. this is when they play the 'people's plights' card and also the time for the people to get what they want.

politics is a complicated affair and can be dirty at times. having known for being smooth operators or sweet talkers, most politicians would come up with agendas or promises just to get votes without being 100% certain, manipulating the voters confidence into rooting for them.

but the manipulators can be manipulated, because as you know...the people isn't dumb as what most politicians would like to think because to get on our good side, they would need to fight for our cause.

Referring to the embed video, Nurul Izzah, the opposition party politician who holds a seat in the Lembah Pantai parliament, were thrown negative comments for her involvement in the recent animal abuse case with comments saying she's only involved to gain public confidence.

but you know what.... being an animal lover and concerned over the welfare of the alleged 100 missing cats, it is a good thing that a leader is willing to step up and fight for the cause.

after the petknode boarding house incident which made headlines for the past couple of days, none of the leaders made their appearance to fight for the people's plight. so in terms of PR image, Ms. Nurul Izzah are points ahead.

what we as the public or animal lovers want is to have the case settled fairly and have the petknode owners punished accordingly. if Ms. Nurul's main objective is to gain the public's confidence, i'll have to say that she is on the right track and if she is using this issue as a stepping stone, then it's only fair to say that two can play that game...for all we know, she is just a tool to get this issue settled, but if she's doing this from the goodness of her heart, then bless her soul.

however it is, it all comes down to the people themselves. politics is a two way street with chances of the manipulators being manipulated.

Ciao peeps :D

finally, the change....

2011-09-06T01:51:00.006+08:00

Finally...the change that we've been waiting for, thus my soul is spared haha

read it all HERE

but don't get all excited just yet, this will only be tabled in the parliament next year and if you noticed, it said a fine of 'up to' RM100,000...meaning the minimum would still be RM200, which is still very low and affordable to nearly everyone. instead, they should set it at RM10,000 minimum as a deterrent...

ps: damn, blogging via android on web platform is tough... especially when trying to insert a link haha. tough but do-able haha

Cheers

animal cruelty..again...

2011-09-05T19:13:00.018+08:00

'i would sell my soul to the devil if it means obtaining powers to punish those who:

a) tortures, abuses and kills animals without mercy
b) tortures, abuses and kills other humans without justification or mercy

and yes, i am serious....

my priority would be on (a) simply because we have laws on (b) to protect human beings.

i miss the days when i am ignorant and sheltered by the harsh realities of life and i miss seeing the innocence in every humans that i encounter. but that's just part of living and growing up, we have to accept that things change, most of the time, and not the way we want them to be.

while some changes can be good, others can be detrimental to an individual and societal structure and ignoring the things which needs changing can give off the same effect as well. take murder for example, should there be no stringent laws as a remedy to future occurrences, killings would be prevalent and all humans would distrust each other...well okay, trusting people nowadays isn't the same as how it was decades ago, but can you imagine if there are no laws to curb the atrocious act?

as humans, we are protected by laws which dictates our safety and security, but shouldn't we extend the same protection to the other weaker beings...like animals?

in this year alone, there have been reports of animal cruelties and some of the highlighted ones are:

a) The abused Sushi the poodle
--->> watch video HERE
--->> and news report HERE
--->> for the facebook page alleging the culprits, click HERE (I mean, the resemblance and identifiable mark is there, how difficult is it to nail or investigate Allan Tan and Doreen Loo as the alleged perpetrators??)
--->> interesting feed HERE
the charge: NONE as far as i know, couldn't find any articles on their charges.

b) the Serdang Cat Killer (stupid bitch Chow Siow Wei)
--->> watch the CCTV recording HERE [Note: not for the faint of heart]
the charge: a maximum fine of RM400

c) Misc
-->> click HERE

d) and the latest one is at PetKnode Boarding house in Damansara (Greedy bastards Shahrul Azuwan Adanan and Yushairi Khairuddin)
-->> click HERE for more info
the charge: walked scot free with only a fine of RM400

this recent incident shouldn't be taken lightly. 300 cats and a dog were left to starve for a week (or more) resulting in the deaths of 9 cats. this is a clear case of negligence and the perpetrators should be imposed a higher penalty for being irresponsible.

for your information, we do have an Animal Ordinance which includes the penalty for cruelty against animals. but as written in part 4, section 44 of the Animal Ordinance 1953, the penalty for such cruelty is....

...'a fine of two hundred dollars or to imprisonment for a term of six months or to both.'

way to go Malaysia for having such 'heavy' and 'frightening' penalty! (come on lah!!! anyone can afford RM200 lah bastards!!)

for most pet owners, their pet isn't only just another animal, it's part of their family... so you would understand why people would get distressed knowing that their pets have been ill treated. but regardless of whether they are someone else's pet or strays, no animals should be treated harshly or even killed without any good reason, they're after all living beings and God's creations.

or maybe the meaning of compassion and empathy no longer exist in our vocabulary....

a cat and her kitten dead from starvation in the recent animal cruelty incident at Petnode Boarding in Damansara...

yes, i would sell my soul to the devil if it means i can make a change by passing my own judgment on them. if it were up to me, my choice of punishment would be subjecting them to a taste of their own medicine...

cheers...

the world's annoyances...

2011-05-29T02:13:00.010+08:00

life doesn't normally turn out exactly the way we want it to be, the best thing that we can do is to work as close to what we have in mind and be settled with it. in other words, we live our lives to the fullest and enjoy every moment that is presented to us.

but enjoying life doesn't give us the privilege to do anything we want, it's a chance for us to realize our dreams and capabilities to a certain extent...an extent which doesn't involve the suffering of other people or animals.

nowadays, we are bombarded by news of war, violence, abuse, psychopathic behaviors, natural disasters, stupidity and lots more and these news grace the front page of every major dailies to the point of overwhelming the positive aspects of human nature. call it a media's way of sensationalizing the angles for maximum profit, but what if the only reason these happenings are reported more was only because we have less of the positive human attributes to tell?

i once told a friend that if i had the power to change the world, i would probably wipe out all humans on earth and make a fresh start just like what happened in the biblical deluge (not trying to be God-like, but just a habit. if things doesn't work, start all over again). but that wouldn't change a thing because knowing us humans, over time we would repeat the same mistakes again...it's all in our primitive nature to fight, kill and be stupid and heartless to the extreme.

us humans are unique, i think we are the only species in the entire universe which has the capability to make a change for the better. we are equipped with emotions, rationality, intelligence, determination and lots more and endowed with superb physical attributes in terms of strength and healing abilities...heck, even the handicapped possesses other special attributes to compensate what they lack. the best part is, we are still evolving and we have yet to uncover our maximum potential as a human being.

but sadly, we are too engrossed with our own superiority that we fail to see that the others are just like us. we use race, religion, skin color and other differences as an excuse to justify our actions. we treat the weak ones as our punching bag to prove that we are better than them just to feed our ego.

it's frustrating to see that we still haven't reach the commonality to understand each other and work together for a better world and to protect those who are weaker than us. my only wish right now is to eliminate the people with a heartless disposition regardless of whether they're portrayed as a loving father, mother, son or daughter.

what prompted this entry? well read this news. may the perps suffer an agonizing death...

seriously, the current world events are truly sucking the optimism and life out of me. i wish i was in a world where nature and modernization goes hand in hand, humans understand the importance of life, the air is fresh, communications is only via telepathy and the night sky is lit up by the splendorous shining of two moons. now that's my dream world.

yeah, the keyword here is dream...

image credit to Scenic Reflections

maybe the end of days is near and everyone's going to hell...just saying. ciao.

I AM A BAD HOUSEMATE :D

2011-05-27T15:35:00.007+08:00

many people with the same experience would agree that one of the best times in our life would be the college years. this was the period where we (most of us) learned to live independently with unlimited freedom being without our parents' supervision.

i believe i was a bit of a stuck up when i first set foot on the college grounds. how so you ask?
imagine a guy who just checked into the dorm, chose the the most spacious space by the window and despite the bed being a double bunker, the area was cordoned off with a string to ward off any intruders and even bunk mates..yeah, i was that guy lol :D.

it wasn't that i meant to be an ass but i think my defense mechanism kicked in, you know, being surrounded in a totally new surrounding. i couldn't even look anyone straight in the eye and if i did..it was more like a glare as if trying to pick a fight, yeah..the new surrounding amplified my distrusting nature twice fold. but everything changed when one by one, my dorm mates started coming up to me for a chat and i realized that my insecurities was without basis because we were all in the same boat: insecure and surrounded by total strangers. yeah, but despite having warmed up with everyone in the dorm, i still had them remove their shoes or slippers before entering my area and a strict rule of ' no sleeping, lying, resting or even get comfy on my bunker' hahaha. another reason i limit people from getting into my area is because i do not want my sleeping area to be a mess :D. and that was the tell-tale sign that i couldn't sleep or live in a messy place :p.

few semesters later, i moved out to live with my seniors in a rented house, and all i can say is that, we had a blast! we were drinking in the house whenever we can, we hung out and studied together, we cooked and dined together... it felt like being in a family unit (and that's important when you're living away from your real one). just in every family, there's always that one person who complains and nags alot, and it happened to be yours truly :D.

they're a great bunch, but couple of the guys in the house are just plain lazy with questionable hygiene issues. being me, all i had to do was speak out my mind..well ok, i had to be sarcastic in order to get the message across hahaha. to keep our dynamics intact, we had to come up with a chores schedule for everyone in the house and the schedule only worked because it was backed by few other guys who share the same sentiment when it comes to hygiene and cleanliness.

those were the good ol' days and i do miss it. to make matters worse, i am now thinking of having a housemate to share the bachelor pad with to re-live the moments, but knowing myself i would probably annoy people with my nagging, complaints or sarcasm should they fall short in the expectation of sharing the responsibility to maintain the cleanliness in the pad :). yeah, i would make a very very bad housemate! hahaha.

the bachelor pad :)

the housemate :)

cheers :D

Stupidity never ends- (Alleged) Dog Shooting in Boleh Land!

2011-05-25T12:28:00.010+08:00

after being away from blogging for quite awhile, i was in the mood to blog about happy stuff and positive thoughts..then i read an article about how dogs were (allegedly) shot in an effort to reduce the strays. the article sent my blood boiling which instigated the increase of dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine in my system..hell yeah i was pissed off!

first of all, i understand the need to eradicate the stray problem which is faced by any other major cities in the country or even the world. but to do it inhumanely like shooting them point blank in view of the entire neighborhood or public, furthermore in front of children is just not the way to go.

i'm not sure if we're putting these animals on the same pedestal as us humans by giving them the same treatment as we should to any other human beings. but come on, being compassionate to all living beings is one of our admirable traits, and the compassion is not exclusively towards our fellow humans but also to animals as well. there are other ways of putting the strays to sleep, gentler ways and there are other ways to un-stray these dogs by giving them a good home...one of it is to stop the trade of pedigrees (to those who are in this business, it's nothing personal but it's not right to sell your dogs or cats just because they're of special breeds. but then again, most of you are in it for the money and nothing else right?).

the topic of treating animals humanely is open for a debate. one would argue that, to be a self professed animal lover, one needs to be a vegetarian so as to be fair with the belief of caring for all animals regardless of their specie. there may be some truth in that, to be fair to all animals we should all go vegetarian!

but, the argument here is how to deal with the animals as humanely as possible. in my case, despite being an animal lover i'm still a meat eater. but living in Malaysia, most of the meats sold here in the market are from animals butchered in an Islamic way, the 'halal' way, which I think is more humane than any other methods that i've witnessed. the only reason i eat the non-halal ones is simply because.... it's there :p.

i would never eat other meats aside from the usual chicken, beef and pork (noooo, i don't eat snakes, frogs, dogs, cats, horses, camels or other exotic dishes) and i do not consume animal meat which is culled or butchered right in front of my eyes or anything which still has a face. but if i have a chance to change the world, i would want the meat industry to be on a 'need to' basis only where meat is consumed when needed and not to be supplied for human gratification (confused much? hahaha)

anyway, back to the issue at hand, obviously our country (or those in power) need to learn more about having compassion because this kind of news have been going around for like ages! and frankly, after all these while, nothing much have changed in the way stray animals are handled.

dunno what i'm talking about? read the latest news here

CLICK HERE for the recent alleged dog shooting in STAR newspaper

for those who would like to sign the petition against animal abuse, CLICK HERE

A video of an idiotic human being who deserve to be skinned alive for abusing the puppies (man, i don't think i would have any problem listening to her sweet voice of shrieking pain...i'd love to do this to anyone proven to have purposely abused animals resulting in deaths), CLICK HERE

for a case of compassion towards animals, READ HERE

ciao peeps, and death to animal haters....MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!

ps: seriously, these people should be shuffled around. put those with compassion towards animals to deal with animals, they would know better....

police brutality??

2011-05-05T20:24:00.003+08:00

i think it was sometime last week (or this week) the residents of Sabah were shocked with the news of police brutality.

what made it more shocking was it involved Keningau's Prison Director who was under alcohol influence at that time. according to the news report, the director, being intoxicated gave a piece of his mind to a youngster for failing to park properly which caused him to nearly hit it.

a friend of the youngster approached him and apologized for the mistake only to be subjected to brutality by the police and his friends. the video below was what had transpired:

but as everyone knows, there's always another side to every story and the video below (ambiguously) shows it:

sooo...i leave you guys with your own power of deduction :).

Cheers :p

sick..darn it hahaha

2011-05-05T18:34:00.005+08:00

okay, for the past couple of weeks i've been feeling a bit under the weather. first off, there was this feeling of getting the fever..which never materialized and secondly, i have swellings in my right thigh near my groin area.

since i had a blast holidaying in mabul prior to getting the swells, i thought it could be just a muscle pull so i didn't bother to inform the doctor of it. but after a week, the pain got worse and more conspicuous so i googled it up and the closest info i could get was 'swollen inguinal lymph nodes'.

inguinal lymph nodes
Lymph is a clear fluid flowing through the lymph vessels that nourishes the tissues and takes out the wastes from them to filter it out through the bloodstream. Lymph system is all pervasive. Like the stretch of blood vessels and nerve tissues, you can feel the presence of lymph nodes all through the body. Such lymph nodes in and around the groin region are called inguinal lymph nodes.

Just above either side of the genitals and lying in lower reaches of abdomen, inguinal lymph nodes can be quite vulnerable to being enlarged, swollen and even malignant. Such lymph malignancy in the area may result in endometrial cancer.

[Read more in thelymphnodes.com and health.top54u.com]

so what could be causes for the swellings? there are several, such as bacterial or viral infection, tick bite, lymphoma or tuberculosis and others which i haven't googled up yet.

at first, i thought it could be an infection due to the toe injury i got in mabul but it seemed a bit off since my swollen lymph nodes were on my right leg and my injured toe was on the left, but i stuck to that possibility since it sounded less harmless. after a week of being prescribed antibiotics, the swelling didn't subside...instead, a new swelling appeared which prompted the referral to a private hospital and a proposal for a biopsy to be performed.

i don't like the idea of being dissected, so instead...i decided to give another go of the antibiotic treatment and see how it goes.

but after coming back from the hospital, it suddenly hit me...isn't the doctor supposed to propose a blood test first before going straight for the biopsy?

anyway, i've decided to take a blood test tomorrow, so fingers crossed that nothing terminal comes up and hopefully after this one week, the swellings will subside :p.

those dark spots are the swollen area...

the doctor's report...

ps: would be nice if i weren't single right now... lol :p

ciao peeps :D

Stupidity never ends...

2011-04-08T12:11:00.006+08:00

so i did my usual blog hopping (yeah, fyi people do and still blog) and read about an interesting piece on china's latest fad...an animal key chain.

initially, i thought it was some sort of a prank. come on, live animals as key chains? noo... it just didn't sound right so i read through it and guess what, it was a literal description. check this video out:

i have to say it's kinda cute, but you wont see me walking around with it anytime soon solely because i can't be categorized with the idiots who actually think that having this kinda accessory is cool! I mean, put yourself in the animals' place, would like you to be enclosed in a cramped space and shaken around a lot?! Grow a brain you stupid chineses (okay, it's not racism when i say that because i'm part chinese myself and specifically aimed at those who are doing this hahaha).

animals both land and water should have ample space to roam or swim about. confining them in a claustrophobic zone is an abuse of their freedom, that's why i don't keep birds or fishes unless i have my own park or an extremely large aquarium hahaha. heck, i couldn't even stand my cat and dog to be caged or tied up (but i perfectly understand if they are, just make sure that they can move around freely).

darn, it just irritates me how stupid us humans can be.

on another note (but more or less along the line of the above), read this. how is it that we manage to come up with people of such mentality? it just goes to show that when one is born stupid, their degree or phd can't cure them of the lifetime illness.

hmmm, maybe i should compile a list of '2011's most stupid remarks ever made by our leaders' hahaha. ciao :D

the poco-poco controversy...

2011-03-30T09:32:00.002+08:00

Perak confirms poco-poco dance ban

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011 19:13:00

IPOH: The Perak government will adhere to the ruling made by the Perak Fatwa Committee banning the poco-poco dance, Menteri Besar Datuk Seri Dr Zambry Abdul Kadir said today.

He said after the fatwa (edict) was issued, all quarters should respect it and not create any dispute on the matter.

The menteri besar was commenting on the report published by a local daily on Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria's statement that the committee had ruled that the dance is haram for Muslims.

Harussani was also reported as saying that the dance was haram because it had elements of Christianity and soul worshipping, and that the edict would be gazetted soon.

On another development, Zambry said the state government also called on MMC-Gamuda Joint Venture Sdn Bhd, which is responsible for implementing the Ipoh-Padang Besar electrified double-track project, to ensure that all problems arising from the project be solved immediately.

The menteri besar said 24 issues had been identified to have resulted from the project, including flash floods.

"We would like to stress here that we (state government) will give our cooperation, but the developer has to cooperate in solving the arising issues," he told reporters after chairing the state executive council weekly meeting here today.

Earlier, Zambry and members of the state executive council were briefed by MMC-Gamuda's representatives on the development of the project.

"Overall, we are satisfied with the implementation of the project, which is currently running smoothly and on schedule," he said. - Malaymail

it's just another day in Malaysia where idiotic remarks makes the news...sigh..

the smartass MB managed to pique my curiosity on the origin of the poco-poco dance, so i googled it up for more info but instead of sharing it word by word i'd rather you just click on the links provided below hehe :

1. The Minahasa.net

2. chittychat.wordpress

apparently, after much browsing i found out the topic of wanting to ban the poco-poco dance or statements to say that it was against Islamic teaching goes way back to 2009 (i could've sworn i saw an article relating to it penned in 2008).

i believe his intention was good, which is to protect our Muslim brethren from doing which may be against their teaching. but what annoyed me was, the dick face MB had the audacity to say (or imply) that it's a Christian dance! i mean, wtf dude!

sometimes, i am embarrassed to call myself a Malaysian. with leaders such as this MB who dares challenge the people's intelligence, it's no wonder we are (sometimes) the laughing stock of the world.

it's fine to make statements as long as it's backed up with solid reasoning or proof, but to say just for the sake of saying is an indication of how stupid a person can be and the sad part is, the majority listened and obeyed!

yeah, i'm pissed off only at him particularly for being such a bigot. good thing there are smart people out there such as Minda Tajdid and this person [Extracted from The Malaysian Insider] -it's in Malay, no time for translation...but will translate upon request hahaha.

wanna know what a poco-poco dance is?, here it is:

and here's the original video:

1Malaysia? yeah right. a long way to go peeps....

Morning Glory to me and to you...

2011-03-28T00:10:00.006+08:00

i used to be passionate about my work, about what i do because i was good at it.

then... i moved to a new company and everything went downhill...my aspiration, motivation and passion was buried without realizing it.

then... i got back into my old brand though at a different property, but nothing changed. my mojo or groove was still at a standstill, personality got worse and work performance wasn't improving.

then...approximately 5 months later, a movie struck some sense into me, reminding me of who i was before; a person who was passionate about his job, a hard worker but yet still knows how to have fun either alone or with a bunch of people despite being an introvert, a friend and colleague who everyone is comfortable with.

then... tomorrow is a new day, i now realize what needs to be done for a change.

don't know what i'm talking about? watch this movie:

and when i say that i love my job despite being paid the lowest among my counterparts, i really really do mean it because, when you love what you do and the company (brand) you're working for, money is not a problem.

ciao...

mother nature's wrath on 11/03/2011

2011-03-16T22:04:00.007+08:00

for the past few days, we've been kept on our toes with news of the tsunami disaster which happened in Japan. those who are capable of feeling share the victim's feelings of lost, pain and despair, some literally while others emphatically.

thousands of lives were lost, properties were destroyed, friends and family gone and the land devastated. those who are safely secured in their own homes and spared the wrath of mother nature can only imagine what the victims are going through.

as sympathetic and empathetic i am of the victims, i couldn't put my mind aside on the fate of all the animals both wild and domestic who once roamed the ground. did any of them manage to find refuge?

i realize that it's quite inappropriate for me to think of the animals' welfare when my fellow humans are suffering, but the animals themselves are capable of feeling..maybe not the same as we humans do, but the trauma experienced should be of the same impact.

a panda seeking solace from a human after the quake...

i try not to read up on the latest news of the incident. it's not that i don't care, it's just that i couldn't bear to imagine further of what they're going through because if i do start thinking, it's to the extent of feeling their pain, loss, confusion, anger, sadness. that's why i only read up on the positive angles such as:

this 4-month old miracle baby found under the debris three days after the incident, giving hope to the rescue workers of finding other survivors...

For other stories, READ here...

sometimes i wonder, why did God let this happen? i believe most people do as well, but as usual, there's no point in questioning His authority because there won't be any answer. the least we can do is to trust His works and powers blindly because i (and hopefully the rest of the population) know there's a silver lining in everything that have happened.

put it simply (in a religious context), if we are to receive His grace and blessings, then we should also receive anything given to us no matter how bad it is.

my condolences and well wishes to Japan, and those who are affected by the incident... God bless..

ciao...

Dosages of Humor...

2011-03-15T10:41:00.026+08:00

one thing i look forward to when reading the papers, aside from the news worth reading are the comic strips. face it, the news reports nowadays are too depressing and the only thing that can bring back the optimism are the comic strips, regardless of how irrelevant they are.

the strips are a reflection of our everyday lives despite its inaccuracies. some are about the harsh reality of the world while others depicts scenarios which could or can happen depending on how we want to live our lives.

as the years progresses, we are getting more and more constricted with our responsibilities that we fail to live our lives to the fullest..and these comics are there to remind us not to take things too seriously (and sometimes too lightly) because life is much more enjoyable when it's simpler. even if we read through the most depressing strips, there are still lessons to be uncovered.

most of the source of my comic strips are from the newspapers and a couple of them from the web. and my favorites are (in random order :p):

1. On The Fast Track

-->> Technolgy

2. Baby Blues

-->> Family Affairs

3. The Duplex

-->> Singles

4. Peanuts (this is a classic!)

-->> Innocence

5. Garfield (another classic)

--> Pets

6. Pickles

-->> Family affairs

7. Dilbert

-->> Management

8. Calvin and Hobbes

-->> Innocence

9. Pooch Cafe

-->> Pets

10. Fusco Brothers

-->> Sarcasm

11. Insanity Streak

-->> Humor/ Sarcasm/ Wit

12. Zits

-->> Family Affairs

12. Argyle Sweater

-->> Humor

13. Close To Home

-->> Humor

the ones i follow from the net:

1. Something Positive

-->> Wit/ Sarcasm

2. The Oatmeal

-->> Wit/ Sarcasm

These are my daily dosage of humor i need in my daily life..without it, i'd probably be a grumpy 9-5 worker :p.

Enjoy the strips and links peeps! :D

LENT...

2011-03-09T11:00:00.004+08:00

I JUST REALIZED IT'S ASH WEDNESDAY TODAY!!! well, not that it matters much. i haven't been a practicing Christian for quite sometime now but my faith haven't wavered one bit :D.

anyway, just in case if any of you out there who are ignorant of what lent is all about, here are something for you peeps to read:

Lent is the Christian season of preparation before Easter. In Western Christianity, Ash Wednesday marks the first day, or the start of the season of Lent, which begins 40 days prior to Easter (Sundays are not included in the count).

Lent is a time when many Christians prepare for Easter by observing a period of fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline. The purpose is to set aside time for reflection on Jesus Christ - his suffering and his sacrifice, his life, death, burial and resurrection.

Methodist, Presbyterian and Anglican denominations, and also by Roman Catholics. Eastern Orthodox churches observe Lent or Great Lent, during the 6 weeks or 40 days preceding Palm Sunday with fasting continuing during the Holy Week of Easter. Lent for Eastern Orthodox churches begins on Monday and Ash Wednesday is not observed.

Not all Christian churches observe Lent. Lent is mostly observed by the Lutheran, The Bible does not mention the custom of Lent, however, the practice of repentance and mourning in ashes is found in 2 Samuel 13:19; Esther 4:1; Job 2:8; Daniel 9:3; and Matthew 11:21.

(from about.com.Christianity)

Ash Wednesday is the official start of the Lent season (although some denominations start the Sunday before). Traditionally, during Ash Wednesday services, the congregation receives the sign of the Cross in ashes on their forehead from the priest as a sign of repentance and a reminder that we came from dust which God breathed life into so without Him we are nothing.

Lent then runs for 40 days (although, again, it should be pointed out that some denominations don’t count Sunday’s during that time as they are considered mini-Easter’s so lent is actually 46 days long) until Holy Saturday. The significance of 40 days can be found throughout the Bible:

After His baptism, Jesus was taken into the desert for 40 days to be tempted by Satan (Matt. 4:11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke:4:1-13)
Moses spent 40 days on Mount Sinai receiving the ten commandments from God (Exodus 34:28)
God flooded the earth for 40 days saving only Noah and his family (Genesis 7:10-12)

(from Dating God)

okay, from what i can gather is that the Lent season is the time where we be less indulgent on the things we do or like, in other words, to give up on our vice and do something good which will bring us closer to God.

all my 31 years of living, i thought Lent is the time when we refrain from eating meat on Fridays until the 40days is up. believe me, trying not to eat meat one day in the whole week can be quite tough, not because of the craving or temptation but because we are too conditioned to eat anything on any day that we tend to forget that friday is a no meat day hahaha.

okay yeah, you caught me...i didn't know about giving up our vices during this season was part of the preparation and i can tell you beforehand that i'm doomed to fail even before i begin hahaha.

now let's see, what are my vices?..
a) smoking
b) drinking
c) porn
d) procrastinating
e) selfishness
f) etc, etc

hahahaha, man..this is going to be tough, especially the smoking part hahaha. but since this is lent, i think i'll try once again to MINIMIZE smoking since that is my current major vice :p. and the good deed that i'll be acting on is to see nothing but good in people regardless of how obnoxious or annoying they are (okay, i can say that because it's not valid until later this evening hahaha)

so for you Christians who will be taking part in this year's Lent, have a blessed lent and GOOD LUCK! cheers :D

My Idol- The Lion Whisperer :D

2011-03-09T09:26:00.009+08:00

just in case if anyone is interested to know what kind of animal person i am, well i'm a cat lover (not in that perverted sense!). i love animals but the number one specie in my list is the cat family. here's the top three list of animals that i like:

a) Cats
b) Dogs
c) Birds

having this list doesn't mean that i dislike the other animals. in fact, i have a soft spot for all animals in general even the crocs and snakes. the list is just an indication of animals i'd like to be surrounded with (especially the ones with furs, thick furs) haha. since we're not living in the wild, the least i can compensate with ever getting close to a tiger or a lion is a domestic feline hahaha.

anyway while going through a facebook page, a video was posted which has a similar quality to what i had posted in my previous entry. yeah, it's none other than a man being up close and friendly with a lion but this latest video that i watched was way more inspiring. this guy was actually rolling around with the lions and to top it off, he not only have that effect on lions but also on other wild felines as well, now that's sick :D!

watching him play around with the big cats actually made me feel a bit annoyed because come on, it's like he's teasing me with my own golden dream (other than from winning the million dollar jackpot) of doing the things he's doing, a mockery of some sort as if saying 'hey dude, get a new golden dream because this one is taken'. but you know what, you suck Kevin Richardson. i'm going to bed tonight and dream that you'll be marred by those beautiful creatures and i'll be laughing my ass off with every frakking shrieks and screams whenever they tear your flesh and rip your bones apart!! muahahahahaha (evil mode on....:p)

okay okay, i was just kidding. but the envy part is real :). Kevin Richardson (gotta love wikipedia haha) is the man! he's doing what every feline lovers dream of doing which is playing with the big cats. he's like in the major leagues of the feline pride, someone like tarzan and beastmaster although he's only limited to cats hahaha. but it's still something, normal people would be a meal if anyone were to attempt the feat haha.

here are some pictures (obviously from wikipedia haha) of the man being one with the wild.

okay, now i don't feel weird kissing my cat like this hahaha

woahhh, now this picture says alot!!!

okay, so here are the videos which made headlines:

Kevin Richardson, you're now my new favourite alongside Anderson Cooper, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Buble, Jennifer Aniston and Mother Theresa (there are several others but these are the ones that i can think of right now hahahaha)!

if i were a woman, i'd definitely ask you to marry me muahahahahahaha. just watching the video gives me the butterflies, ciao peeps and enjoy the vid :D

'R'-less :)

2011-03-09T00:02:00.010+08:00

after being introduced to the sitcom the 'Big Bang Theory' by a fellow gidiot, i've been an avid viewer of the show. unfortunately, it's not aired in any channel in this country so i've been catching up with it via online streaming.

the scientific and trivial facts infused in the show are what makes it interesting, not to mention the quirkiness of the characters...especially the zany Sheldon Cooper played by Jim Parsons, gotta love the character hahaha.

anyway, in its latest episode- The Toast Derivation (season 4 episode 17), Sheldon said something about to stop using the letter 'M' in their conversations and honestly speaking, the thought was intriguing :p. i mean, wouldn't it be interesting to see how our conversations would turn out if we decide to stop using a particular alphabet in our daily correspondence, it could be any letter from a-z hahaha. so, taking into consideration that i may not be able to apply the theory to the test in a real time conversation, i thought it would make a good experiment to try it in this blog instead. so starting from now until the end of this entry, i'll refrain from using the letter.......'R' hahaha.

but to make this moe inteesting, an alphabet which is mostly used should be chosen fo it to be moe conspicuous because we don't use all of the 26 alphabets in ou daily convesations. some of the lesse used lettes ae the lette 'q' and 'z', which means we can ule this two out in this test.

but, would it eally make a diffeence if we do decide to ignoe one particula lette? of it couse it would because in nomal convesations, any pesons who couldn't ponounce the ords ight would be diagnosed as having a speech impediment, which is to some snobs anothe wod to being a etad.

hahaha, i'm actually smiling to myself doing this. maybe i should tag someone to paticipate in this expeiment and see what they can come up with. but then again, it would only be wasting thei time so i'd ather not bothe them (okay, i'm liteally laughing at myself. i would say that i'm laughing while olling on the floor but i guess that would be stetching it a bit hahahaha). but if i do have to, i'd like Mel and Yo to do it hahaha.

anyway, if you have the time do ty to watch the show. the fist season wasn't that inteesting, but it gadually picked up like a olling stone gatheed moss. it's moe appealing to the geeks o neds because some of the jokes, tems and explanations used ae quite difficult to compehend, especially by those who doesn't spend much time with books, science o comics hahaha.

haha this was fun, till then (man, i am easily amused aen't i? hahaha). ciao peeps :D

looking good or good looking? :p

2011-03-07T09:37:00.011+08:00

having been inactive for quite sometime when it comes to sweating it out, i'm not really sure if my metabolism can keep up with the physical stress that i intend to put on this weak and fragile body of mine (hahaha, weak and fragile. ok ok, overweight and flabby hahaha). but if i were to believe that my metabolism is just the same as the last time, i'll be losing some kilos in just a matter of time :p.

anyway, you must be wondering why the sudden interest in losing weight. well, in approximately 2 weeks time, a Tioman trip will materialize and then in a month or so, a Sipadan trip.

for those of you who doesn't know know where or what these places are, both are islands with Tioman in West Malaysia located in Pahang and Sipadan in East Malaysia located in Tawau, Sabah. Apparently, TIME magazine once selected Tioman as one of the world's most beautiful island (Wikipedia) in the 1970s while Sipadan was made known by Jacques Cousteau in his late 1980s documentary 'The Ghost of the Sea Turtles' and made famous by the Abu Sayyaf incident (see, there's no such thing as bad publicity :p). I'm not really sure how Tioman looks like so i can't really vouch for the things said about the place, but i highly recommend everyone who has the time and money to visit Sipadan at least once..i'm not a diver, but based on what the other divers had said, it's an underwater paradise down there.

anyway, when going to places such as these where being half naked is a norm, it's nice to have a good physique to show off. you don't have to be buffed with bulging muscles and a six pack (though it would be good if you were..or rather, if i were hahaha) to show how great your body is, but at least a lean (lean as in not skinny and definitely not fat hahaha) physique would suffice. on my end, i just need to get rid of my beer belly and love handles :p.

but if you're happy with how you look like, by any means do ignore what i just said about looking good with a six pack because different people have different perceptions and tastes, it's all in the matter of preference. for example, some might prefer those on the bony side and some would rather be with someone plus sized (well, some might look good with a few extra pounds haha :p). so regardless of whether you're a hottie worth dying for, if you don't fall into anyone's category you'll just be another face in the crowd :D.

most of us are insecure about our appearance (including us guys though we rarely fuss about it :p). i mean, it's only human nature to want to look good in front of the others but why do we need to look good? because first impression matters (most of the time). people will judge us by how clean or good looking we are before wanting to know us more. yeah, it's sad to think that us humans are a shallow minded bunch :p.

one best way for us to look good is through healthy living, which encompasses good dieting and lots of exercising. but being humans with full of dislikes, most of us would rather look the other way around and hope that somewhere out there someone is on the verge of discovering magical consumables which would enable us to appear how we want to be without having to go through the traditional boring paths of good exercising and dieting hahaha.

anyway like i said, if you're happy with how you are right now, then don't try changing because when you're comfortable with yourself the others will be too :D.

Cheers :D

Twestival KL!

2011-03-02T11:23:00.008+08:00

Just so you peeps know, Twestival is back! what is Twestival you say? well, looks like somebody hasn't been reading the papers or being active in their social networking sites for quite some time now, shame on you! haha, nah kidding :)

okay, so what exactly is a twestival? honestly i don't really know :p. my first impression of it was a twitter festival which involves partying (booze :p) and fun, but the real history behind it? *shrugs shoulders*.

from what i can gather from the net (yeah, i googled or yahooed it up haha), it is a worldwide event where it 'is a single day, global movement which uses the power of social media to organize offline events that mobilize communities in support of a local causes'. waddya know, it's right up my alley where i can have fun and be a part of a charitable cause! haha.

this event is relatively new in the market. it first started in 2009 and i was lucky enough to have attended the event which was held for the first time in Kota Kinabalu back in 2010. initially, the event appeared to be a twitters gathering of some sort and kinda expected free flow of booze (yeah, i'm a cheapskate haha) and man, was i wrong hahaha. but despite the non-existent free flow of any form of alcohol, the event turned out good! :D

so what happened last year? there were laughters, booze (which weren't free haha), performances by local bred artistes and the highlight of the night, the human bidding where good looking guys and gals are 'sold' off to the highest bidder!

bear in mind, although for some people it may look a bit rowdy or inappropriate with the involvement of alcohol (just as last year haha), this event is meant for charity which means all proceeds will be channeled to the chosen organization. and what's more, it's a win-win event where contributors will be having fun while contributing and the selected organization/s will be smiling ear to ear with what will be collected haha.

since i'm now working in KL, i may attend the festival on this other side of the country. not sure how fun it will be without my buddies back in KK (yeah, i may attend as a lone ranger haha) but hey, the hell with it..i'll make do with what i have. heck, i'll even entertain myself if i have to hahaha.

So far, there's still no news of where twestivalKL will be held this year although the date is confirmed:

Event: Twestival
Country: Malaysia
City: Kuala Lumpur
Date: 24 March 2011
Area/Venue: To be advised (hahaha)

for more info on what Twestival is about or a listing of such event in your respective areas, you may want to log in to Twestival Worlwide or for facebook updates go to TwestivalKL if you're in KL, TwestivalKK if you're in KK and since my cousin will spearheading the TwestivalAuck i might as well put the link here as well haha. you can read on why she decided to organize Auckland's first ever twestival here :).

so, for those of you who have nothing better to do on a weekday at the above mentioned date, you might want to get your ass off that couch and chill in this worldwide event! afraid of going there alone? well..suck it up, you're not a child anymore. it's for charity peeps! hahaha

The man behind 'what are words'...

2011-03-01T20:38:00.005+08:00

earlier i posted a youtube video of Chris Medina, the American Idol 2011 contestant who didn't make it to the top 24 but touched the hearts of many with his love and loyalty towards his fiancee who is brain damaged.

for those who have seen the video, you may be surprised by how beautiful the song was sung and may even be touched by how the singer expressed his emotions into his singing. well, he was able to do it because aside from being able to feel the song, a great composer was behind the lyrics and music.

the composer is unknown to people like me who doesn't really look into the people who came up with the songs as long as it's music to my ears. apparently, after much googling, the writer and producer of Chris' single 'what are words' is none other than the famous Rodney Jerkins whose credits include Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Kelly Clarkson.

so who is this Rodney Jerkins?

you can read up on him here: Darkchild or Rodney Jerkins

thank God for beautiful songs, thank God for love, thank God for creative minds :). There's still hope for human kind after all :p

Chris Medina- What are words...

2011-03-01T15:07:00.005+08:00

despite not admitting it verbally, i am a sucker for good love songs. give me any ballads, rock or alternative love songs, as long as their tunes are catchy or it has meaningful lyrics i'll defiintely become one of the pathetic guys who can only imagine what the songs portrays.

i think being in love is quite is easy, all you need is to have someone you like to like you back and walla, a relationship based on misunderstood notion of chemical interference is formed where after awhile the reality bites you back in the ass for the mistake committed hahaha.

anyhow, if we were to look at the love songs sung and played over the years or centuries, by renowned artistes, only a handful of them actually knows the sacrifices of being in love. and these sacrifices isn't only about tolerating your spouses' bad habits or fighting over which side of the bed you'd like to sleep on but rather, the bitter sweet journey of sticking true to your feelings knowing that whatever happens, there's only one person you'd like to stay true to.

and then there's Chris Medina, first discovered during this year's (2011) American Idol audition. Having managed to win the judges over with his voice, he fell off the bandwagon during the search for the best 24 contestants. but despite not winning the spot, he had won the hearts of the million of viewers out there with his heartrending story of love and loyalty with his fiancee. yeah, put it this way ... he stayed on with his fiancee in better or worse even after she was struck with an accident leaving her with what most people would consider a major disability and where most guys would instantly walk out the door instead of staying behind and keep the promise of forever after. in other words, he stayed with her when she was beautiful (she really is) and he stayed on even after she was left in a somewhat vegetative condition.

My congratulations to him on his first single, 'what are words' and hats off to him for singing this song because in my opinion, he is the right person to be singing beautiful love songs...

Anywhere you are, I am near,
Anywhere you go, I'll be there,
Anytime you whisper my name,
You'll see,
Every single promise I'll keep,
'Cuz what kind of guy would I be,
If I was to leave when you need me most,

What are words
If you really don't mean them when you say them,
What are words
If they're only for good times then they're done,
When it's love, yeah, you say them,
All of those words,
They never go away,
They live on,
Even when we're gone,

And I know an angel will say
Just for me and I know I'm meant,
To be where I am and I'm gonna be,
Standin' right beside her tonight,
And I'm gonna be by your side,
I would never leave when she needs me most,

What are words
If you really don't mean them when you say them,
What are words,
If they're only for good times then they're done,
When it's love, yeah, you say them,
All of those words,
They never go away,
They live on,
Even when we're gone,

Anywhere you are, I am near,
Anywhere you go, I'll be there,
And I'm gonna be there forever more,

Every single promise I'll keep,
'Cuz what kind of guy would I be,
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel
Close.

if more people understood what true love really is, the world would be a much better place... unfortunately, not everyone is lucky to have found their better half or soul mate even after several lifetimes...

i dreamt of loomington...

2011-02-21T07:04:00.005+08:00

'Loomington, NOOO!!!', i forced myself to scream but instead of saying it from the top of my lungs, only a mutter escaped the lips. yeah, I was frozen and could clearly see someone at the foot of my bed swinging an axe down when i choked on my own words only to realize i was still dreaming.

how the name appeared, i have no idea. it just slipped out and the clarity of the dream was real that i could picture the person's attire and type of axe he was carrying, but what's scary was his smiling face, a menacing grin of some sort...something like the mad hatter's disposition.

for those who read my FB status update today, i wrote the person's name as loomingdale instead of loomington. only when i refered to my dream journal did i notice the typo...yeah, i do take down notes of the dreams that i can remember upon waking up for accuracy (talk about being a geek :p)

few people told me it must've been something i read or watched before going to bed, that could've been a logical explanation although i don't remember watching or reading anything creepy or remotely similar to that. i like the idea of a ghostly manifestation, but what's the point of scaring myself with that kinda thought hahaha.

speaking about nightmares, it's an occurrence where fear or horror is triggered during your REM cycle. there are several factors which my cause it such as sleeping position, physical health or psychology. whatever the cause is, it's still a dream and harmless unless we let them affect us profoundly because there is such a thing as death by dreams where intense emotion could induce a heart attack or serious arrhythmia although the chances of healthy individuals being affected by it is slim.

but just to spook the guys/ men, you may want to read up on the 'Brugada syndrom', quite interesting i must say :D.

don't worry, if you do have nightmares, it doesn't mean that you're strange or different than the others. it's normal to have a night mare once in a while (but you need to get checked up if the nightmares persist over a long period of time). here are some tips which you may practice to avoid being in a nightmare (and these tips only applies to children muahahaha):

Get into a healthy sleep routine. Try to go to bed about the same time and wake up at the same time every day. Unless you're sick or didn't get enough sleep the night before, avoid naps during the day. Avoid eating or exercising just before bedtime. Avoid scary books or movies before bedtime if you think they might be causing your nightmares.

Sleep with a stuffed toy or favorite blanket. This helps some kids feel more secure.

Use a nightlight. Even if you gave up yours up years ago, you might want to turn it back on. With a nightlight, if you awake from a nightmare, you'll be able to see familiar things and remember where you are.

Keep your door open. This will help you remember that your family is close by. If you are scared, get up and find someone for reassurance. You're never too old for a hug!

(excerpt: http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/thought/nightmares.html#)

hahahaha, now..that feels a lot better. ciao peeps hahaha

Life Changing

2011-01-14T09:41:00.003+08:00

for those who are into the horoscope stuff, great news...we may not be who we thought we are. Just read through this link from time.com.

anyway, here is the new line-up of the zodiacs:

Capricorn : Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius : Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces : March 11-April 18
Aries : April 18-May 13
Taurus : May 13-June 21
Gemini : June 21-July 20
Cancer : July 20-Aug. 10
Leo : Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo : Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra : Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio : Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

if you guys hadn't noticed it yet, we have a new zodiac, Ophiuchus. Unlike the others, this zodiac is represented as a man and not an animal, crustacean or other mutated life form hahaha.

i still think there's a mistake with the dates because look at the period ending for each zodiac, it's the same as the beginning of the consecutive zodiacs. confused much? :D

yeah, everything is changed and it feels like we've been lied to our whole life. so, anyone into committing mass suicide? Cheers to the freakin' bastards who came up with this hahaha :D

Hagar The Horrible

2011-01-13T10:19:00.004+08:00

ok, this is me...minus the 'you don't drink part'. yeah pathetic, i know. you dont have to remind me :)

cheers peeps :D

the single's pressure

2011-01-08T20:45:00.007+08:00

okay, all i can say is that...the pressure is on! :)

mom called up a few days back and it started off with the normal caring mother's conversation, until the topic came up. i don't know how it happened, the next thing i knew,she was asking me 'when are you going to tie the knot?. everyone around you are'.

at that moment, i was lost for words but i did manage to blurt out my rare awkward laughter (it only comes out when i'm caught off guard) haha.

but here's a thought. my mom does have a point, i should start looking for a potential life partner right now...i mean, no one's getting any younger right? :). the only problem is, as much as i want to be in a relationship and have someone to come home to at the end of the day, i just don't feel like being in one. i'm quite happy with where i am now without the insecurities of being in a (probably) complicated commitment haha.

i realize that there's a chance that i might be happy, but i'm not really sure how to cope with sharing my life with someone else when i've been living mine being practically alone (but not lonely haha) all these while.

i mean, being in a relationship for fun and being in one for good are two different things. furthermore, i'm not (or at least i dont think) a romantic guy. i wouldn't know what to do to please someone and besides, i would rather rely on my rationality and logic rather than being guided by something unsubstantial like emotions. in other words, i'm a selfish guy with a lesson learned :p.

but if i were to look for someone, i would rather be with someone:
a) smart
b) witty
c) outgoing (ability to get along with my friends and family is vital)

and i would love to say pretty, but that would just make me shallow minded wouldn't it? what can i say, i do have an eye for beautiful stuff hahaha. so being good looking would be a plus.

so, how'd i came up with the criteria above? simple, all of it are the things that i'm not :). so am i that pressured to the point that i should be out there looking for someone else, nah..not really. i think i can still hold it off for a couple of years before i truly consider of settling down :D.

in the mean time, i need to head to the kitchen and prepare my dinner. hmmm, what should i cook on a saturday night? :)

cheers :p

what's in the name?

2011-01-06T10:31:00.006+08:00

people, especially the Chinese have high regards for a good given name. in some cultures, it is believed that the name would shape a person (yeah, i pity those who were born into these shallow minded cultures haha). while others, although the name doesn't make a person, believes that a good name is able to bring recognition and fame..be it good or bad haha.

anyway, much to everyone's experience, we go along our life with other names aside from the one given by our parents or whatever was written on our birth certificate. these secondary names exists as a nick name or due to special features or characteristics or sometimes just for the sake of it.

take me for example, my given name is Jeremy. but over the years i've accumulated enough secondary names that i think i could name my sons with it hahahaha.

Names that i answer to can be categorised into family, friends, colleagues and others;

Family:

a) Jerry

b) Lo

c) Lops
d) Lopak (only in Kitobu :D)
e) Giruk (only in Ranau :D)

* for b-d, only extremely close family members are allowed to call me by those names. so if you're not family and have a death wish, try calling me that. well okay, i won't slit your throat open or cut out your tongue, but you'll be totally ignored :D

Friends:

a) Jerry

b) Jer

c) Jere

d) Jeer

Colleagues:

a) Jem

b) Jere

c) Jeer

d) Jay

e) JK

f) KC

g) JC

h) Kabin

My Ex-Boss (and i take the nicks as terms of endearment haha):

a) Koguts

b) Gringo

Others:

a) Justin

b) Gary

c) John

d) Pok (only from a handful of my Sarawakian friends)

e) Steve

(don't ask me why how'd this happened. they just said i looked like anyone one of the names hahaha)

if i had only finished my sunday school's confirmation class, i would've chosen Jethro as my second name. in all the biblical names, his was the coolest although one of the most insignificant characters hahaha.

it's another new year!

2010-12-31T01:45:00.003+08:00

crap, the new year is fast approaching and i have yet to come up with anything solid for my resolution. then again, the hell with new year's resolution...i'm just gonna live my life the best i know how. heck, everything is turning out just fine for me hahaha.

but i have done some personal retrospection and i'm very well versed with my strengths and weaknesses and i realized that i haven't lived up to my true potential. so, come new year i will live up to my reputation as the guy you wanna hang out with (that is if you can accept my sarcastic, sanguine and care-less attitude haha) because generally, i could be fun and interesting if i wanted to or given the situation hahaha.

yeah, i intend to do everything and have fun every chance i can get without compromising the coolness in me by being in a relationship or flirtatious liaisons hahaha. i know this may sound sick, but i am honestly enjoying my life as a single pathetic dude...i'm not even considering to have a housemate to share the burden! hahaha. despite loving the solidarity, i do miss my pals back home, especially the ladies who could make me laugh like no other (yeah, the gidiots haha).

okay peeps, time to hit the sack. merry (belated) christmas and happy new year! cheers :D

christmas what?

2010-12-25T18:15:00.004+08:00

normally, at this time of the year i would be enjoying myself with lots of booze regardless of whether i am with family, friends or alone. but this year around, not only am i not back in my own hometown, i even got the fever which puts my christmas celebration plannings, which is not exactly fun to begin with, to a stall. so, what did i do on christmas eve and day?

obviously, there's nothing much to be done when it feels like you're on your deathbed hahaha. i've been sleeping alot, been swallowing panadol pills and cough syrup and been watching reruns of Bones, CSI and Eureka (good thing my astro was activated right before the holidays haha).

despite feeling uncomfortable and weak, something good actually came out of being sick:

a) it inhibited my need for a cigarette.
b) i've been sleeping alot, which means i've been catching up on my much deserved rest.

well, so much for christmas optimism. in my case, no miracles happened and i am stuck with spending christmas alone with only my tv and internet hahaha.

Cheers :D

bribery is a two way street :)

2010-12-23T13:10:00.003+08:00

how trusted can our law enforcers be? now that is the question. all my life i have never resorted to bribe someone to get my way around, or even thought of accepting any form of bribery. not because of moral ethics but simply because i was never in a position to commit such unlawful deeds. but a recent experience has given me a different insight on why bribery still persists despite the widescale efforts to curb it, yeah...i experienced it first hand.

to cut it short, i was asked to pullover by a policeman for cutting a double line. i admit i was at fault and willing to accept whatever was thrown at me but even then, i didn't think of trying to bribe the officer. but what was supposed to be a quick affair was dragged on for another 30-40minutes with the officer asking (or maybe trying to make small talk) silly questions. after 10 minutes, i kinda knew what the officer wanted, but i wasn't going to take a chance of being caught red handed for offering bribes.

throughout the conversation, i took note of several hints which the officer was subtly suggesting:

a) Minum Kopi (drink coffee)

- when my colleague sitting next to me tried to get a pardon (which i told her not to. you can blame it on my ego but i wasn't going to beg for a pardon of something which i clearly did. my reason was, he was just doing his job), the officer rebutted, 'saya cuma menjalankan tugas, kalau tidak, lebih baik saya lepak di kedai sambil minum kopi' (i'm only doing my job or i would be better off drinking coffee in a shop).

b) Gentlemen

- he kept on asking me, how am i going to settle this and i kept telling him, 'if it is already my fault, just give me the ticket and i'll settle it at the station'. but he kept asking the same question over and over again and said 'okay, let's be gentlemen. how do you say we should settle this?'

c) Price Naming

- Unsure of my own judgment, i played along being the naive and innocent road user. he then called me out from the car and he proceeded to bombard me with the same questions and this time i told him 'there's nothing much to be done, if you give me the ticket then i would have to pay at the station, end of story'. then came the gentlemen talk again, and by this time i was pretty sure he wanted a bribe so i told him 'saya cuma boleh bagi 2 *ikan merah' (i can only give two red fishes), i learned this trick from my policemen classmates back in Uni. instead he said *ikan merah cannot cut it and i asked what is it does he want, of which he replied 'RM50'.

i found it bold of him to quote the price straight away and frankly very dissapointed. i've heard stories of how the law enforcers are mostly made up of corrupt government employees, but i didn't think i would actually meet one personally.

anyway, in my defence i would like to state that i would be okay to pay the RM150 fine. but i was quite curious on how does one get involved in bribery hence the unlawful and unethical action :D. but this wouldn't have taken place if the officer did not pester us and just issue the damn ticket straightaway :p.

*ikan merah (red fish) is a term to describe a RM10 bill.

then again, i'm not blaming the officer for what had transpired. after all, it takes two to make it happen...

DAMN YOU ASTRO!!

2010-12-21T23:52:00.007+08:00

it's few minutes to 12am and i just got back from work. thinking i might be able to relax and enjoy whatever is showing on the tv, i actually convinced myself that the tiredness would subside once i plopped myself on the couch and do some channel surfing.

the 15minutes drive back home felt like it was worth signing up for the ASTRO services despite their slow activation, i was pretty sure my account would be activated today after the numerous complaints to get it up and running. unfortunately, that wasn't the case. the moment i switched on the tv and decoder, the same frustrating message appeared on the screen 'Please insert the correct Astro smart card or call the Astro customer service for assistance'. my anger suddenly rose, i decided to call the customer service representative to vent out my anger. while waiting to be patched through the rep, i reconsidered the option of blowing the head of the next unlucky person who answers my call...i decided to vent my frustration instead of anger because, being more or less in the same customer service oriented field, i kind of understand what it feels like to be suddenly shouted at by an unknown stranger.

'good evening and thank you for calling Astro, this is Mona speaking...(or some shitty greeting like that)'

'yeah good evening Mona, my name is Jeremy and my IC number is XXXx.......', in a very monotonous tone. it sounded fair to introduce myself and give out my ID number straightaway knowing that they would be asking it anyway.

'how may i help you mr. jeremy?'

'this is my third time complaining and i would like to have a straight answer, when will my account be really activated?'

'when was the your astro installed sir?', i was kind of pissed off at this stupid question. i wanted to shout at her, 'woman, i just gave you my full name and ic number, i've even told you this is my third time complaining. can't you just look into the system for heaven's sake?!!!'...yeah, but i did not. instead, i politely replied in the same monotonous voice, 'last saturday'.

'could you wait for a moment sir', of which i replied yes.

after one or two minutes of being put on hold to listen to the crappy music or message that was played, 'thank you for waiting sir, i've checked in the system and it'll take approximately 2 weeks for your account to be activated'.

'TWO WEEKS?!', i raised my voiced a little bit. i wanted to bring up the previous response which said that my account would be activated within 24hours (which by this time, it has been more than 48 hours since my last complaint) but thought it would be a waste of time. 'tell me, what's the point of having my decoder installed just to wait for it to be activated in 2 weeks time or probably more? it sounds silly doesn't it?', i was hoping she would get my hint that if i were to wait for two weeks for it to be activated, i might as well sign up two weeks later instead of spending rm200 for the recent installation.

she went on to explain something about a system upgrade which i didn't really give a shit, 'Mona, i'm not blaming you for the bad service, i'm blaming your company. Please do understand my frustration, i just came home from work and i was hoping i might be able to enjoy some kind of entertainment on my tv. but after three days of continuous complainings, nothing has been done yet and you expect me two wait for another two weeks for my account to be activated? that is really unacceptable. if you look in the system, it has been noted that my request is urgent. is this how you (people) treat urgent matters?

silence...

'mona, like i said, i'm not blaming you for the slow service. but what i would really appreciate you to do is send a note or an email to your management or anyone for that matter, and tell them i would like my account activated tomorrow before i come back from work at 6pm. can you do that?'

'ok sir, i will send them a note, but i cannot guarantee that your account will be activated tomorrow'. for those working in the customer service line, let me remind you that this is not the answer you want to tell to your frustrated clients because we do not want to know that it cannot be done. be smart, play around with your words..give them something tactful to look forward to. one golden rule is, just do not lie to them.

'i don't care, just tell them that i would like my account activated tomorrow by hook or by crook'.

i dont think i sounded like an ass did i? i was merely stating the obvious.

anyhow, this wasn't a good day for me. just this morning i had to bribe a police officer to keep him from giving me traffic violation fine..but that will be another story to tell in my next entry...

cheers peeps...

what's the rush?,....

2010-11-29T11:18:00.006+08:00

27 more days until Christmas!!! and frankly, i'm not that excited. come to think of it, i'm not sure if i've ever been excited about Christmas. when everyone's out there shopping for Christmas trees and presents, i'm here in my own little world asking the same questions over the years ,'what's the rush?' hahaha.

i don't see any reason to celebrate Christmas except for the holidays. if we look into the history of how christmas came about, it's not much of a religious celebration but more to a twisted plot of a certain religious body to assimilate the pagans into God fearing people and waddya know...it worked, well okay, not so much on the god fearing side though haha. so if you think our Lord Jesus was born on December 25th, you have another thing coming for you :D.

anyhow, despite the misleading tales and lessons we tell our children or peers about Christmas, the centuries old effort of promoting the date as a special day turned out to be a blessing in disguise. whenever christmas is nearing, you can actually feel the joy and warmth of the festivity and prolongs until the new year's arrival, and the best part is you don't have to be a Christian to experience all these! :D.

Christmas is a season of giving and forgiving and where love and kindness are spread regardless of who or what you are.....damn it, that sounded wrong doesn't it? aren't we supposed to do that like every other days, hours and minutes regardless of whether it's christmas or not? there you go, another example of how society and religion can brainwash us into shaping our beliefs hahaha.

you my think that i'm a grinch who have something against Christmas, trust me..i don't haha. it's just that, i don't feel as excited as everyone else when Christmas time comes near. it's nice to hear people laughing, seeing people smiling and doing good deeds, but it would be great if all these could remain like it all through the year and not only when Christmas approches.

so what do i look forward to when christmas approaches? if you guessed the presents then you're way over your head! hahaha. i like christmas not because of the date or the season or the presents. i like christmas because this is one of those times where people can be seen as sincerely happy, and a time where friends and family gather. besides, i've known (hopefully i wasn't the only one in the family whose hope of being showered with presents by a red suited fat man was dashed by the wonders of reality at an early age) that santa clause doesn't exist even before i turned 7 and never expected that tooth fairies would appear if we hid our tooth under the pillow hahahaha. despite not believing in these mystical beings, i do still believe in magic as a kid and until now :D.

ever since i started my tenure here in a foreign place, i could feel the pull to return back to my hometown and celebrate the year-end celebration with friends and family. i think i am a little homesick or maybe i'm, just lost to what else to do or where else to go to spend my remaining holiday since most of my firends and colleagues won't be around during that period hahaha.

okay, i'm spouting nonsense again..geez. cheerio peeps hahaha

a rodent's life is still a life...

2010-11-27T09:14:00.006+08:00

the first thing i noticed when i went through today's paper was this headline 'Rodent Threat' published in the STAR's Star Metro section only because i was interested with how are they going to deal with the issue and also i'm a sucker when it comes to animals. cruelty to rats is still animal cruelty to me.

anyhow, it's only natural for humans to be disgusted by these furry rodents. aside from its growth spurt which can be as big as a house cat and their mean look, these animals are also the harbinger of death famously known for its deadly piss, the main cause for leptospirosis (i think..maybe i should do my homework haha).

anyhow, the reports have shown the booming numbers of rat infestation in klang valley and sentul and also, quite tactfully, potrayed these places a dumpsite. i mean, isn't it obvious? and what actually ticked me off was, they're blaming the rats for procreating! which rat wouldn't want to continue their family legacy here, it's a haven for them hahaha.

it's fine to express dissatisfaction over this matter, but it's not fine at all if you're blaming the rats for the problem when in fact, the problem could be dealt with if everyone played their part in ensuring cleanliness and hygiene in their areas. don't be expecting the municipal councils to do the clean up job because even if they're under the taxpayers' money to do the dirty job, they're still human. they're being paid to keep the city clean, not to clean up our mess. it's like hiring someone to clean up our ass after taking a dump.

the best they can do is to clear up the area at designated times (not everyday!) and everyone have to lend a hand in keeping the place clean after the clean up. it's a matter of taking responsibility on your own compund and area. but maybe these people doesn't understand this, and if they don't, i could safely say that they have a very weak family foundation and thoroughly selfish and can only hope that their home inside is as messy as it is outside..like the person themselves.

one thing that people don't realize is that, these rodents have lived far longer than any humans and they're generally adeptable to their surrounding. poisons wont work effectively because over a period of time being exposed to such chemicals, they would be immune to the effect and thus creating a super-rat which would take more than designated poisons to eliminate them.

there're certain cultures, especially in Asia where people consume these rodents as delicacies, it's not only served deliciously on a dish but it also serves as a control and preventative measure over the rat population. maybe we should serve these critters in restaurants, in that way we wont have to worry about running low on meat hahaha. then again, just to remind you guys that rat consumption is not allowed for both Islam and Christian...and Jewish i suppose (for Christians, refer to Leviticus 11:29).

what i'm trying to say here is that, before we blame our municipal for not doing their work or blame the RODENTS for existing (which most dumbassess do), just remember that it only takes a little effort to maintain cleanliness and hygiene. Be a responsible society.

the classical tales in modern times...

2010-11-24T10:32:00.004+08:00

i had a chat with a parent, and being thirty and still single we came to talking about marriage and children. normally when this happens, the topic would tend to lean towards the one question i dont quite like being asked, the million dollar question of...'so, when's your turn?'. it's not that i'm ashamed of being single it's just that, i don't see any relevance for them to be in the loop to my private life.

good thing i had the forsight or the spidey sense to know (like many other times) what's going to happen next, so before the conversation started leaning towards my bachelorhood i took the oppotunity to be the conversation playmaker and keep the ball in his court by talking about his children.

from what i've been told, nothing much have changed in the country's primary education system since the last time i was in their shoes (which is like...AGES ago hahaha). but one thing that caught my attention was the book the children are reading now. looking back, in my primary years i don't quite remember having to read any other English story books but the ones from the text book or the local children tales which are of course all in Malay..but the children nowadays are starting off with works by Enid Blyton as their reading materials! i mean how lucky are they? during my time, i had to go to a library or borrow from my classmates to read those classics!

anyhow, it's great that these children are exposed to international literature at an early age but hopefully they know how to balance it with our own local literatures..especially the classic ones because some of them are worth reading. i dont quite read much on Malay novels simply because...their writing style are (in my opinion after having read several) all the same. the drama, the plot, the nostalgia are all predictable (and the same goes to most of the Malay movies and dramas, that's why i don't watch much of them anyway). but when it comes to classical fairy tales, i can say that they are on par with any other international publishings out there. i grew up reading 'batu belah batu bertangkup', 'malim deman', bawang putih, bawang merah', 'si tanggang' and some others i couldn't recall and despite their tendency to include all those unnecessary poetries or rhymes or adianoetas, i was able to follow it without any difficulty..heck, even my classmates would come up to me asking for an explanation the same way i would go to them when i have difficulty with my maths (yeah, i wasn't so bright back then...or even now hahaha).

One thing great about these stories are the lessons and values imparted to all the readers, not to mention how much it reflects our own people and nation both in good and bad portrayals. and here we are buying other books in our quest to be better people when in fact we can just read these classical tales and improve from then on. sometimes, we need to retain our child-like qualities for a clear mind and being simple could be the best way to look at things :).

maybe all those abuse i got from my mom for not being able to read before reaching 7 and the inability to differentiate the small 'b' and 'd' was a torture in blessing hahaha. i wonder, why didn't it work on my maths? hahaha

ps: how do we translate 'cerita rakyat' in english?...hmmmm

the single life..part deux

2010-11-17T18:24:00.007+08:00

hmmm, come to think of it, the title itself is quite catchy. maybe i should open up another blog by that name right? :D. anyhow, in continuation to my previous post on the same title minus the 'part deux', i did another round of home cooking, single's style haha.

how it came about? well, it started with a text message from my youngest sister asking me to take her out for lunch which coincidentally i haven't had mine yet. but at the last minute, she canceled and i was left with an empty stomach. but no biggie, it's not like i needed someone to have lunch with. the only problem was, i didn't know what and where to eat (yeah, i'm picky...what can i say haha). so i decided i might as well cook...which wasn't quite a good idea when you have no inkling of what exactly that you feel like having, plus, there's nothing in the fridge to cook haha.

so, i hopped into my car, went to Giant and did some grocery shopping, and after awhile of walking not knowing what to get, i ended buying most stuff which may not work out when it comes to culinary preparation hahaha.

yeah, i bought the bag for only RM1.99 to fit in all my groceries as part of my social responsibility to cut down plastic bag usages. this is my second bag, had to get it because i left the other one at home.

ok, some of the things that i bought were, a packet of yellow noodles, a tin of campbell's instant soup, carrots, tomatoes, vegetables and shitake mushrooms...which i still have no idea how or what exactly was i going to cook. finally, i decided on these items for my lunch/dinner:

yeah, had to thrown in the eggs as it feels like something is missing...

okay, so two eggs are enough hahaha

i was actually salivating just thinking about these mushrooms, i love mushrooms as much as i love cabbages haha

and the end result........................

haha, being single isn't so bad after all! :D

by the time i was done with all these, i seem to have lost my appetite. one thing about cooking is that, it's no fun when you have to cook for yourself. it's more meaningful if we have someone to share it with. that explains why my ex-housemate would rather eat out everytime i decline his offer to cook something haha.

cheers! :D

the demise of blogs...

2010-11-16T12:40:00.006+08:00

it seems that the blogosphere is thinning out or it has taken a different path over the past few years...a downward path to dullness into non-existent.

i remember when i first started blogging about 5 or 6 years ago, it was fun reading other peoples' entries. reading their personal encounters and experiences gave me an insight of how other people are doing or into their psyche/ behaviour. my personal favourites are the ones with dry sarcasms or with a sprinkle of humor, and i do still keep up with some of the blogs.

but nowadays, i seldom see quality blogs such as these anymore. it's either most of these people have retired from blogging or the blogging trend isn't as appealing as how it used to be. there was a period when i could spend countless hours blog hopping whereby now the blog hopping sessions would end in just a matter of minutes...yeah, that's how bad i think the blogosphere has deteriorated. or maybe, i haven't been browsing hard enough.

come on people, re-live the blogging moments. i know that doogie howser md is still somewhere within you! :)

the single life...

2010-11-10T23:01:00.004+08:00

I came home from work quite late and being single you either have a choice if dining in or dining out with the latter being the easier or rationale choice to make if you’re darn hungry or damn lazy. But tonight, I needed to do something to relieve some stress which has been bugging from the moment I stepped into the office this morning.

I would’ve hit the gym, I mean I should start hitting the gym once again and sweat the stress out but unfortunately, I still haven’t gotten my pair of sports shoes and I have yet to shop for my gym pants. so I drove around a bit before stopping by a row of shops intending to just browse some stuff. The browsing didn’t last long because in no time, I had bags of food items bought to stock up my supplies.

Upon reaching home, the nagging stress that needs to be rid off was still ingering, and after a moment of contemplation, I had my body go into auto mode and just let it do whatever it wants. And this time, it wants to cook :).

And so I cooked, nothing fancy… just the standard single guy kind of food choice, but with a twist. Instead of having plain ‘maggi’, I decided to make fried maggi instead…with lots and lots of onions. I was so into the auto mode that i wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. I tore up 5 packets of maggi, cut up 20 pieces of red onions and opened 3 cans of sardines (frankly I had no idea why the sardines needed to be opened :p). the end result…WASTAGE! Okay, not exactly wasted as I can put the leftovers in the fridge and probably down it all tomorrow evening (if I still have the appetite).

Full and contented, the dishes were simply left in the sink and i went straight to the couch to have a ciggy in the dark. As I was enjoying the sensation of the smoke burning my lungs, which is of course detrimental to my health, I realized that my place is quite..so eerily quite that I could practically hear the gecko jaywalking on the ceiling haha. And then suddenly it came to me that I no longer am stressed out and instead I was at peace with the silence and the absence of another human being in the pad. It was a comforting bliss…

After momentarily basking in the peace and silence, I walked to the fridge, swung its door wide open, took out the half sliced 3kg watermelon and ATE it all in just a matter of minutes…and here I am still contemplating HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO LOSE THIS EXTRA WEIGHT!!

Darn it… :D

the warring of religions...

2010-11-02T16:44:00.003+08:00

it's either you have to like it, hate it or just ignore it. that's my thought when it comes to religion. i don't have anything against beliefs in general, but when it causes pain, heartcahe, injury or death i have my doubts on why people need to have a religion in the first place.

religions are meant to guide humans to be better people, and it teaches us to love and respect people for their differences. it pains me and a whole lot of like minded humans out there to read about people getting hurt under the pretense of religious duties.

i'm not condemning any religion in particular, i'm just saying it in a general context. who am i to judge who is wrong and who is right when i don't even know the answer to it. but one thing i do know and very certain is that, NO RELIGION TELLS ANYONE TO KILL, PLUNDER OR CAUSE HARM TO ANOTHER HUMAN. yeah, i am well aware of the religious wars which had happened in midieval times and i am still not in agreement with it either, i mean, to me it's already a blasphemy to any religion TO KILL IN THE NAME OF THE ALMIGHTY BEING. who are we to take the life of another person? Even if you call it a Holy War, a Crusade or Jihad, taking someone else's life is a sin, regardless of whatever reason!

i mean think about it, the Almighty gave us a brain to weigh the consequences of our action including the best possible way to tackle difficulties. we can't just resort to killing and murdering other people just because we have run out of ideas on handling tough situations.

some people just don't get it. they're too immersed with their belief to the point of being a fanatic that they fail to interpret the meaning behind their beloved scriptures. and it doesn't take a genius to know that there are limitations to where and when to kill a person. you can't just barge into a school, a hospital, an office or especially religious places of worship such as the Church or Mosques or Temples and start shooting rounds! these are places of sanctuary for heaven's sake!

maybe the humans nowadays lacks compassion, apathy and empathy. if only they could feel what it would be like to experience the things they're doing to these people, maybe we wont be having this problem. just don't do to others what you don't want others do to you...

maybe the end of time is nearing...

the downside...

2010-11-02T00:13:00.006+08:00

okay, as per my previous posting i am now happily living the independent bachelor life. it's nice to come home where the cushions aren't strewn all over the floor, no glasses or plates left lying on the coffee table, the kitchen still in its neat condition and no irritating or annoying voices to spoil the evening mood. life is good, but just like any other norms all good stuff comes with a downside...and in my case, no one is here to pamper me with services fit for a king hahaha.

back in my old pad, my housemates who were also my colleagues treated me with care simply because of my rank. i dont mind being treated as their superior, but it does feel awkward most of the time.

maybe some of you don't quite get what i mean by that. okay, put it this way...whenever i feel like having something to eat, i just need to blurt out something which could indicate my hunger and the housemates would be quick on their feet to prepare a meal irregardless of what the time is...and most of the time, instead of preparing a simple meal or snacks, i would be presented with something like a big portion of 'nasi goreng pattaya', or fried eggs served with tomato sauce or onion rings served with chicken nuggets.

i'm not complaining, it's nice to be treated like a king (hahaha) without being asked. it's just that, it feels kinda weird to be treated as such by your own housemates who are technically strangers to begin with haha. yeah, but like i was saying, when i made up my mind to stay alone, i knew i would lose the privilege of getting the good services. but at times like these, i wish only they were around so that i could fill up my rumbling tummy! hahaha.

then again, the flat i'm staying in now isn't exactly fully furnished. there are three more items which i need before making it a home sweet home... and they are:

a) a fridge

b) a stove

c) and a washing machine

so even if i had invited my ex-housemates to spend the night with me, i doubt that they'll be able to come up with something to ease my hunger pangs hahaha. and if they were here, i probably would need to drive us to McDonalds which is just approximately 500 meters from my place or one of the nearby coffee shops haha. what can i say...i have me lazy bones hahaha.

hmmm...anyhow, might as well sleep my hunger away. goodnite peeps and ciao :)

a ramble of an update...

2010-10-29T23:09:00.004+08:00

sooo...it's been more than a month since starting my term here at putrajaya. despite what everyone says about how dead this place is or how boring this place may be, i think i like it here alot hahaha. frankly, there's nothing much for me to complain about living here.

come tomorrow, saturday 30th october 2010, i will be moving into my own pad (which my big sis is anxious to help me do the touching ups haha) about 15minutes away from my workplace. it's nothing fancy, just a modest place for a single guy to live in. and since i just bought myself a new ride (my white rider! haha), everything seems to be going the way how it should be. i mean, i am excited to finally have my own place after living with a bunch of untidy guys who couldn't even keep the place neat for a minute!!

unfortunately, my mom doesn't really approve of me living alone (owh crap, i'm a momma's boy haha). her only worry is that i would be left vulnerable should anything happen to me. i don't blame her though, she's a mom..my mom after all :). and it doesnt help when i keep things to myself even when i do get sick :).

okay yeah, i do miss my mom, dad and my dog poco back home (as for my sisters...you guys are old enough not to be missed haha), and i do miss hanging out with good friends and having a blast with them. but i'm not regretting the least of choosing to expand my experience elsewhere :p.

i've been asked on several occasions on when am i coming back home, and truthfully, i have no answer to that. one thing about working in the hotel industry is that, our working schedule tend to change at the last minute...but i have every intention of returning home sometime in December, but till then i'll just enjoy my life here until that time comes haha.

owh, before i forget. a few weeks ago i was head hunted by an employment agency to work with a leading oil and gas company to lead the communications department somehwere here in west malaysia. they were looking for:

a) a guy
b) with experience working in the hotel line
c) preferably in the communications field
d) good looking

okay i made up d) hahaha. i never applied for the job and i was flattered to have been offered the position. i dare say that it won't be easy for them to look for a guy with the above criterias (i would know, been in the field long enough to know the market haha). but i had to turn down the offer since (as usual) i just started working in a new place and i love working with the current brand. but who knows, if i do get bored one day, the head hunter has given me his calling card to look for him should i ever 'decide' to try out greener pastures :).

there are a bunch of other things i'd like to write, but the moment i start putting my mind into words...everything that wants to be said suddenly goes blank hahaha. figures, maybe it wasn't as important as i thought it was :).

till then, ciao haha

monkey on the wall...

2010-09-25T22:50:00.008+08:00

what did i do today?....

well...i had fun today because i tried out wall climbing.

it was fun, the only downside was that...my arms are now hurting and all my 10 fingers feel all wiggly. i couldn't even hold up a pen to sign my dining bill, it kept falling (i meant the pen haha) and when i did manage to get a grip on it, my handwriting was all different and awkward, it's like i'm just learning how to write. just imagine writing on your non-dominant hand (unless you're ambidextrous than that doesn't apply) hahaha.

why did i enjoy it?

climbing is quite a second nature to me. i could practically climb up on anything with a sturdy foothold (except for coconut trees, it's impossible for me to climb up on one of those..and yes, i've tried it haha).

but one thing about climbing compared to then and now is that...back then when i was a looooot younger, i had no problem lifting myself up, stretching my legs to reach the corners or any crevices or protruding foothold was a synch but now...it feels like my body was made of lead and stretching my legs far out feels like pulling a ligament...hmmppphhh, the beauty of aging haha.

not to be a superstitious lad, but i think being born in the year of the monkey has its pros..and climbing is one of it...and jumping and being mischievous, sly, cunning, smart, playful, etc etc hahaha (yeah okay, i sidetracked a bit and i know, self praise is no praise...i get it hahaha).

will i be doing it again anytime soon?

hell yeah! haha (once the sensation starts coming back to my arms and hands haha)

so that's what i did today on saturday...in the afternoon. and right now, i'm holed up in my room (as usual) doing nothing (as usual) and might probably put on my reading glasses and pick up a book (duh, to read..what else?) hahaha :D.

i'll tell you what i did last saturday in my next entry hahahaha. ciao peeps :)

ramblings...again :)

2010-09-14T20:44:00.002+08:00

when i first decided to come over and work here in Putrajaya, most of the people i know told me that this is a dead city..dead as in there aren't anything much to be done here, not even karaoke bars or pubs. and my answer was something like 'that's my kinda place'. obviously i got the 'yeah right' response because in their perception of me, i am an outgoing person who likes to go out, socialize and have fun. well, they're partly correct hahaha

as much as i like company in my life, i'd rather spend my time alone doing things that i feel like doing. yeah i know, it's a bit selfish but that's just who i am. so when they told me that i would die of boredom over here, i figured that they don't quite know me well enough hahaha.

i love the fact that this is a quite place, and i love the fact that there's no temptation for me to go out and treat myself to drunken stupor and personally love the fact that since this is a 'dead' place, i dont feel guilty of missing out on the happening things which are going on elsewhere hahaha.

take today for instance, after finishing work i could just stay in my hotel room until it's time for bed but instead, i decided to go out and spend some quality time with my youngest sister who is in cyberjaya only because i had a feeling she might be bored doing whatever she was doing. we had dinner, went to the arcade, did some minor shopping and sent her off in a taxi..and then it hit me, doing all this made me feel OLD, not the elder brother kinda feeling but the old-uncle type brother kinda old hahaha. nevertheless, it does feel good doing charity to someone in need (hahaha, sorilah Joy hahaha).

i am now in the midst of looking for an apartment but damn, the rent here are quite expensive and to make things worse, i haven't gotten a car yet! so moving around is quite a hassle and finding a reasonably priced apartment is quite challenging. but i'm not worried, because somehow rather, i'm pretty confident that everything will work out just fine :).

First Day Embarrassment....

2010-09-13T01:12:00.008+08:00

just had to share this story with you peeps....

"knock.. knock..". a tapping sound was made on someone else's sliding door at the balcony, not to hard but loud enough to awaken the sleeping resident in the room...

"eyy, bleyyy..yada yada yada!!", or something similar sounding was uttered...

"sorry, but i need help.." came the response to the startled mumbling. but instead of feeling sorry and face the intruder, the indian guy went straight to the phone and made a call, most probably to the duty manager.

expecting the door would be opened the moment he hung up the phone, he went to his friend's room next door leaving the intruder who was clad only in his boxers wondering why he wasn't being attended to yet. probably the indian guy, fearing for his dear life of a man clad only in his underwear standing outside his balcony clouded his judgment and the plea for help fell on deaf ears.

about 7 minutes later, the door was finally slid open by not one but 5 men, all staff of the hotel. and the first thing the intruder asked for was "can i have something to cover myself up, like maybe a robe?".... no response by anyone, and the intruder rephrased his request, "may i use your clean robe please" and only then did the duty manager come out of his stupor (or more like stupidity) and offered a robe.

before any questions were asked, an explanation from the unfortunate guy who had been locked out from his room for the past 1.5 hours came out with the answers of what they might be thinking, "i was locked out from my room when my balcony door's safety feature failed me...". okay, not exactly an explanation but clear enough to explain as to why someone would be standing outside another person's balcony in his underwear.

the guy whose slumber was disturbed then asked, "why didn't you just call for assistance, you know..just press zero?".

the intruder was about to roll his eyes and said "yeah, maybe i should use telepathy to call them up. I'M OUT OF MY ROOM YOU IDIOT!", but it seemed like the sentiment was shared by the staff as well and i wasn't gonna be an arse at 1.30am :).

just in case you haven't figured it out yet, I, the writer of this entry was the unfortunate boxer-clad intruder hahaha. it took me about 1.5 hours (after the fruitless calls for help) to make a decision of whether to climb on someone else's balcony to ask for help.

at least i took into considerations of the 2 possibilities:
1) climb over and expect a no ruckus involvement from the staff
2) the opposite of number 1

one of the staff even said, "wow, you can even climb over to the other other side?", of which i replied "i may be big but still agile" hahaha.

this is an embarrassment on my part simply because, i haven't even started my first day of working at this very hotel and i've already made a scene, to make it worse, the rank and file staff saw me in my boxers hahaha. this will definitely be shared in the morning briefing with the rest of HODs! on the other hand, i now have something to complain such as:
1) the weakness of the safety feature (i just hope i wasn't the first person to report it)
2) the absence of security guards on the hotel's perimeters.

okay, if you wanna laugh it off go ahead, because it is laughable and i'm finding it humorous as well hahahaha.

ciao peeps...owh man, this is really really embarrassing! maybe i should buy the guy dinner hahaha.

the Q&A...

2010-08-26T12:17:00.006+08:00

"aren't you sad that you'll be flying off?", a sudden question broke the silence...

"huh?"

"aren't you sad that you'll be leaving your friends and family?"

"no, why should i?", it's not like i'll be dying anytime soon (not that i would know) i thought to myself...

"so, when are you doing your farewell?"

"what farewell?", aaahhh...finally the question came out. geez..can't anyone come up with anything subtle like, 'hey, let's have lunch/dinner and just hang out',.if they had addressed it this way i would've said 'let's go' in an instant..

as in my previous post, my profession will bring me to Putrajaya on this Sunday, 12th September 2010 and honestly, i dread the totally all new environment. okay, not exactly dreading it, it's a mixture of both excitement and nervousness and whenever i think about my new place, i have butterflies in my stomache hahaha.

but in my opinion, moving to another state doesn't constitute for a farewell party or anything remotely close to implying that i won't be back ever again...heck, it's only a 2 hrs flight to home hahaha.

i know i shouldn't be pissed at anyone for wanting to hang out with me before my departure, but come on people, please do it subtly or be creative because i get bored and turned off easily if i see what's coming hahaha (maybe that's why i'm good with what i do...anticipating what will happen next :p).

speaking of which, the reality of independence is finally setting in and after calculating my living cost budget, i realized that for me to live comfortably and save enough at the same time, i could only get a second hand vehicle around RM12k max (yeah, iswara should do it haha) and an apartment at RM500 max a month hahaha.

since i'll be eworking in putrajaya, i'm pretty glad that i wont be tempted to go out drinking as often as what i've been doing here in kk. been meaning to minimise my sessions but having friends who enjoys drinking with good companies, it's kinda difficult to say no haha. then again, we'll see how it goes...

cheers haha

dreamcast...the ramble haha

2010-08-17T13:35:00.006+08:00

what is it about dreams that fascinates us? is it the fantasy of being able to achieve things that can't be done in the real world or is it the fact that we know it's only temporary so whatever bad things that happens in it wouldn't have a lasting effect in real time.

there's this one particular cousin of mine that whenever only the two of us are drinking, we rarely (very) talk about each other's personal life including work because we believe that no matter how much we talk about it, nothing's really gonna change unless we make it happen. but what we do talk about are stuff which would pique our interests, like the occults, paranormal or parapsychology or some other random weird things and we try to relate the topic on discussion with any scientific findings, whether proven or not, that we've come across which may explain it.

so, last saturday we had another session of random unplanned drinking session which he initiated at my place and after covering several topic, we got to talk about dreams. a dream, as we all know it is an intriguing experience, and so far in my opinion there isn't exactly any definite explanation on why we dream.

well, i wont be wasting any time on explaining to you in details what a dream is all about, here are some links to browse through for your reading pleasure on the topic:

a) Yahoo Answers on 'Dream'

b) Wikipedia on 'Dream'

c) Askville on 'Dream'

d) The Scientific Study on Dreams

e) Skeptics Dictionary

f) Scientific American

and finally, my own theory from my previous entry hahaha

anyway, what i'm more interested in now is that, why do we sometimes feel like that time is thrown off balanced in certain dreams. for example, a 5-minute dream can rejuvenate a person as if having been asleep for full 3-hours or lethargy as if having been only asleep for less than 3- hours when in fact a full cycle of 7-hours has been completed.

what i can gather is, for time to be thrown off balance, space and time has to play a role and it would be much easier to deduce that the difference in the space time during our R.E.M cycle and real time could be because a dream state could be equivalent to being in another dimension. sounds a bit farfetched and straight out from a science fiction movie doesn't it haha. well, i have yet to come up with a reasonable argument on this but, when i do (or if i ever! haha) figure it out someday i'll definitely share it hahaha.

anyway, in case you guys haven't watched the movie 'Inception' yet, i strongly advise you to! but a word of warning, it'll take much of your imagination and and understanding to figure out the movie hahaha.

been awhile since i last rambled like an idiot haven't i? haha. ciao :)

once an asset, remains to be one...

2010-08-17T00:22:00.014+08:00

In about a months' time, KK would soon be a place of a distance as i embark on a new journey on another Malaysian soil. The idea of starting over in a new place offers somewhat of an excitement where new experiences will be gained but most importantly, a self re-invention is in line.

It's not so much as saying that KK isn't offering the thrill or fun that i need, but deep down inside me, the adventurous part, is dying to live a life of independence somewhere away from the comfort of home.

When the opportunity from the group of company which i left a year ago came knocking, i needn't have to think twice of saying yes when it was recommended to me. although at first i didn't have much confidence of ever getting the post since knowing how the group works, they would only choose the best of people for the post and frankly...i never put myself in the same league to those who are holding the same post at the other properties.

For one thing, i don't exactly have the social finesse to hold the post. when the rest are well dressed and groomed, i on the other prefers to have an unkempt hair as i like it to be free and untouched by any hair styling products. another thing is that i much prefer practicality over style or fashion and from my observation, those who hold the position has an air of class with knowledge of what's in and what's not.

Surprisingly, i had a good recommendation from my previous employer. i know i had a good working relationship with her but most of the time, i'm more of a headache to her as my opinions and working style are more often than not contradict with hers. so you would understand how surprised i was when she recommended my name to the other property.

Maybe being myself isn't that bad. maybe people do listen to me regardless of how non-nonsensical i may sound, or maybe people saw other things in me...the potential in me to make a difference even though i highly doubt that's the case.

As i looked back at my previous post 'the outcome...' which was posted sometime last year when i decided to leave the brand, i am now certain that despite my flaws and lack of confidence, the management did care a great deal about me and all the strict directives and exposuresthrown at me were all about to train me in the field.

Even when i made the decision to leave the brand and move to another company, it was always my goal to get back to the group which had taught me so much and gave myself a time limit to gain outside experiences for at least a year before looking for ways to get back into the group. probably i was meant to be with them because right after a year, the chance came knocking even without me looking for it.

Honestly, i'm not quite sure how i would fare with the new property, but if everything was as difficult as i first started with them or if their system are more or less similar to the previous property i worked for, i'm pretty sure that i will advance through it unscathed, although i do still worry that i won't be able to live up to their expectations.

A skype conversation with my previous employer brought a smile to my face:

x-boss: so, have you gotten the reply from them yet?
me: yeah, i got the job (smiling ear to ear even though it was obvious she wasn't able to see me)
x-boss: great, its payback time! (* it took me awhile to figure this out. after awhile did i realize that she was referring payback time to the time when my current company took me away from them hahaha).
X-boss: hope you will be loyal to SLP this time (the initial for the property)
me: nope, i wont. i'm just going to be loyal to SLA (the initial for the brand name)...

Now, moving to the new property requires me to get an accommodation and so far i have yet to find one which fits my budget. so i'm going to use most of my time searching for a place to live while staying in the hotel for two weeks as that's only how long they're letting me stay there hahaha. owh, and i'll be car-less for the next three months until i get my confirmation letter which is required for a car loan (yeah, the big boss had 'advised' or sounded more like stressed for me to get a car as it is vital for me to get around..though not sure to where haha). so, if any of you out there whois staying in Putrajaya and has a room to spare, do look me up! :D

Hopefully a chance would present itself for me to work with the KK properties after two years . But in the mean time, i just can't wait to leave the past behind and start anew...:D

picture taken is picture perfect?

2010-08-11T11:37:00.001+08:00

i'm not much of a picture person, i mean..i try to avoid having my pictures taken most of the time, unless i'm intoxicated or i was in one of those 'i don't give a sh**' moment hahaha.

before, i never really understood the beauty of picture taking. i used to think that those who likes to take pictures are just vain to the core or too much of a show off (which i still think some are :p) and this mind set side-tracked my understanding of what picture taking is all about.

Having reached the big 3-0, a lot of things are suddenly revealing themselves, a certain level of comprehension unattainable due to the long practiced ignorance are finally surfacing and in retrospect, i do quite regret i haven't been much of a 'cam gigolo' to record my life events.

i don't see any harm of having our picture taken, but there's a limit to how much a person should be parading themselves in front of a camera. unless you're a good looking model with something to promote, try to minimize having your alone-self-shot-pose taken...but, there is an exception to it though.

When i browse through pictures, it's not the individuals' self-posing images which would attract me, instead, the surrounding or rather the story of what the picture is about. most of the time, there will be a focused subject which appears in the images and it's understandable if some (or nearly) all of it have that person's self shot taken because it's part of their life story like for example, a self-posed image of a person during his/her holiday or during a wedding. but if it's a random shot of doing nothing aside from vanity, it irritates me. ok, maybe one, two or even three of such image may be acceptable, but more than 10 or 20 is just just plain dumb (unless you're modelling for something)! hahaha.

I dont know, to me, a camera is a tool to capture the beauty and ugliness of life and of this world. 'A picture paints a thousand words' is more than just a corny line, it's as literal as it is because it plays with our imagination like how a novel would. it's like looking at a picture of a person standing beside a lake, we appreciate the surrounding beauty in the picture, the quality of the picture and in the end it makes us wonder if the person in the picture actually took a dip in the water, or why didn't that person do it or what was the person's thought at that moment or of the place or what else is there to be shared or why was he/she there in the first place and with whom... and so on and so forth.

like i said, a picture plays with our mind and imagination mainly because we see what is shown even when we're not there. we try to indulge ourselves in a picture because we are curious to know of what the real experience would be like if we were in it. unfortunately sometimes what the picture represents doesn't tally with what is it about and that's when we start to wonder and let our mind work its imagination. whichever way it is, a picture makes us think..a lot haha.

Geez, i may well be hated by the united vain people of the world or even the universe for writing about this, but it's just an opinion and i am well entitled to an opinion of my own hahahaha.

maybe i just need to chill eh? :)

tears of happiness...

2010-08-04T02:56:00.004+08:00

for the first time after a very very long time, i cried silently..but this time, it's not because of anything bad, instead it was all good. one of my best cousin got married today with one of my great friend. after being with them from the day they were together until they actually tied the knot, i dont think anyone could understand how i feel exactly. it doesn't matter though, what i feel have nothing to do with anyone :).

looking up to someone isn't easy, we need someone 'right' to look up to and this couple were the perfect example on the kinda individual and relationship we wanna take as a role model :). what touched me the most was, i was the catalyst to their relationship, and they've acknowledged that.

anyway, i've finally got an offer to work in KL, and i will be moving because...after all the waiting, and my temporary presence, they've finally decided to tie the knot after 8 years of being together and i feel like my role is done. it feels like, i have nothing more to work at and i'm free to move on to another project hehehe.

so far, i'm not sure how my existence means something to someone...but one thing for sure, this marriage is one of the best things which ever happened to me....man, i'm definitely gonna miss this couple and i'm definitely gonna miss the friends after getting to know them from this two people....

yeah, i cried for them because i'm happy and right now...i'm tipsy hehehe.

a fraction of truth

2010-07-29T13:12:00.006+08:00

i don't know how i got there, all i can remember were sparkling stars decorating the night sky, few toys strewn on the pavement and me standing on the sidewalk looking at the 2nd floor balcony without much of an expectation.

an alternate observation between the hovering diamonds and the balcony while trying to digest the unfamiliar things around me, a figure exited from the sliding door, walked and stopped at the balcony railing and started looking around as if having lost something.

i hid in the shadows, not quite sure why, but i did anyway. after a while of looking somewhat lost, the figure turned to my direction as if knowing i was there even though cloaked in darkness and made the way down to me. i wanted to run, but i felt stuck..my legs were no longer part of me but an entity with its own mind disobeying the directive passed on through the biological synapses from the brain to the motor sensors.

inch by inch the figure moved towards me until we were confronted with each other. i knew the face, heck, i knew the figure from even when we were facing each other. there were stuff i wanted to say but only one word came to mind, and with regret i said, 'sorry'.

she smiled and started picking up the toys. the next thing i remember was, it was day time and she was standing beside her husband with a baby in his arm. they looked happy, i felt happy because at that moment i remembered what i had told her when i had the guts to confess my feelings,

'i'm not sure if things between us are going to work, but i feel you deserve to be with someone better, and i'm not sure if i'm that person', (okay, just an approximate of what i had meant) and she replied, 'that's for me to decide'.

strange thing about instincts is that, they are most of the time accurate regardless of how unlikely the situation may be.

i stood there for a while, smiled at them and walked away feeling contented because, i was right after all.

few hours after waking up from the dream, i logged into my facebook account and true enough, a greeting was waiting for me by her. i tinge of regret of the what might have been was temporarily experienced, but regret has no place in the present or future because everyone has moved on..as it is supposed to be.

Just an update... :)

2010-05-26T22:01:00.004+08:00

The front page of the leisure section in the New Sabah Times today caught my attention, and it has nothing to do with the images, but simply, the heading was quite intriguing to say the least. the headline read 'Are Blogs Dead?' written by (undeniably) one of this city's very talented writer.

so i read line by line and there are truths to what she conveyed and it got me thinking on my own blog. i know it's a bit cliche, repetitive and quite redundant to indicate once more on my reasons for blogging or why i started blogging in the first place.

but you know, aside from having someone to appreciate your opinions and minus those who are only interested on the personal side of it, writing gives off some kind of personal gratification. i once said that, writing is therapeutic and it still is. it's just that, time hasn't really been on my side lately and probably age is catching up with me much quicker than i thought, leaving me less and less inspired to post an entry haha.

i've previously deleted my blogs, a public and another personal blog, and looking back i wish i hadn't done so. every entry is a memory or experience that i had gone through, experiences of being naive, naughty, mischiveous, happy, sad, indifferent and others. unfortunately, my brain was built to store information for a period of time only and after that, it gets lost as new experiences appear. so, hard as i try to remember my thoughts or feelings of yesteryears, only blanks would come to mind.

but i've learned my lesson, and i intend to keep blogging and maintain this blog for as long as i can. if one day, you notice an entry hasn't been made for more than 12months it may only mean that.......

i.....

may....

have....
....
...
.....
......
.......

...forgotten my login details hahahaha :D.

Cheers peeps :)

a dose of reality...

2010-05-25T23:14:00.007+08:00

life has both it's ups and downs. when there's a good thing, there's definitely a bad thing waiting to happen. but that's just one of the basic universal laws, something like light and dark; yin and yang; positive and negative; and so on...

but speaking about life, we tend to forget what life is about, or more accurately what living is about. despite how happy we may be, we get lost in the mazes of life's ever changing journey. but one fail safe and fool proof aspect is certain to bring us back to our senses...which i will touch on later in this entry. but first, let's just begin with the happy stuff which makes most of us feel alive.

in the next few weeks, a line up of wedding invitations will be in order. some i might be able to attend, few i will definitely attend regardless of anything and most i won't be attending at all due to my earlier commitments. and weddings such as these would sometimes put me in a confusing situation where i try to assimilate my own happiness with theirs but no matter how i try, my envy to their own happiness overwhelms the fact that i might be in their position sometime in the future :p. heck, 10 years ago i wouldn't give a damn about stuff such as this. but life sometimes plays a funny a game on us. as we grow older, our wants or needs become limited and we start to think about what's going to happen in the next few years, choices seem to become a commodity and uncertainty becomes a lot clearer. but hey, these are just some of the ingredients which makes us wiser to say the least.

the more we are engrossed of what life has to offer, or what needs to be attained from it, we forget that life is about making every second we breath meaningful. we don't need wealth to experience life to the fullest, we just need to understand that even the little things are sources which can bring the most depressed man to become the happiest man on earth.

as i was saying earlier, the one fail safe and fool proof aspect to making us realize this is none other than...death. ironic isn't it, to understand what life is, we need to empathise what death entails. then again, life and death is a never ending cycle which interconnects with each other.

a couple of days ago, a friend and ex-colleague of mine was admitted to the hospital for cancer. i'm not really sure at what stage is he in, but from what i've been told, it's not good. i've been meaning to visit him, but, unlike what my other ex-colleague told me 'ko pi jumpa lah bapa, dia selalu suka tu crita sma ko' (go and visit 'bapa', he had always liked chatting with you), i can't ....... yeah, 'bapa' which means father as he is called in the office, a soft spoken middle aged man of around 40+ of age with three children and a loving wife, he was my colleague in the same department and we would chat while doing our work to keep the stress at a safe distance and sometimes, we would just sit quietly the whole day focusing on the task at hand. even after i left, he would sometimes ask me of my situation at my new work place whenever i call up and he would start complaining in his own gentle way as if saying it would be different if i hadn't left.

but this time around, i wouldn't know what to say if i do drop by and visit. i mean, it's easy to be sarcastic and sanguine on normal days, but, knowing what his condition is like...being the person i am might not be such a good idea. or maybe, i should ignore the fact that he's sick and continue doing what i've been doing all these while so maybe, he could get a dose of my twisted world for a temporary respite from reality..nah, how could i even joke about this.

anyway, i am confused...well, was confused to be exact. as i'm writing this down, i've finally found the answer and the approach am gonna take. if laughter is the best medicine, then i'll inject a large dose of insanity into his head. fingers crossed hahaha.

a pre-dawn mother's day accident....

2010-05-09T04:10:00.007+08:00

it's 4am and the night is blessed with such serenity that staying home on a saturday night instead of out clubbing like any other peers my age would be doing at this this hour feels more gratifying to my existence compared to being intoxicated for a temporary high. having the time to myself allowed me to catch-up on my blog hopping, something which i haven't been doing for quite awhile now.

as i sat in front of my laptop, being fully immersed with my reading, the howling of an unknown hound broke the concentration and i was suddenly pulled back to reality surrounded by the four walls within the confine and comfort of my small room.

for some unexplained reason, the howl sounded different from what i'm used to hearing, instead of the howl of a lonely dog, it sounded as if an impending danger is about to happen and my mind wandered to where i assumed the dog was...which is at the small roundabout few metres from my house.

normally, the howlling of a dog will be accompanied by a series of howlings from other nearby dogs as if signaling to one another that they are not alone. but to some of us, if not most, grew up believing that the howlings are due to the presence of the spirits of the deceased walking in our realm. after approximately two minutes, the howling remained from a dog and as i intently listened to it, my mind pictured an accident at the roundabout. ignoring my overactive imagination, i continued my reading when suddenly the sound of screeching tyres broke the tranquility, followed by a loud bang.

"owh shit, an accident...", i said to myself, but surprisingly the urgency to be a witness to the incident was absent, and even contemplated whether i should give in to my curiosity by being there. five minutes later, i gave in, got dressed and went to the crash site with my mom...curiosity runs in the family i guess.

when we reached the place, the car was standing at 70 degrees by its front bumper supported by the gate it crashed onto and bits and pieces of the unfortunate car was strewn everywhere. from what i was told by the witnesses, the bystanders extracted the victim from the wreckage and had him seated at the side walk pavement, it didn't take me long to notice the blood streaming down his face, presumably from the injury on his head as there weren't any visible cuts on the face or anywhere on his exposed body.

i continued to observe his condition. aside from the blood, his hand and feet seemed to be fine as he was still able to move them with ease, which means the possibility of broken bones may be questioned. one thing i'm sure of is, he has been drinking as my nostrils caught a whiff of alcohol emanating from him.

the first thing i did after the brief assessment was to give the police a call, and it was my first time having done it. apparently they have been informed, but whoever made that call probably forgot to mention that a man was profusely bleeding from his head and in need of medical attention because after mentioning it to the attending policewoman, my line was directed to the general hospital of which i gave the attending hospital person on duty the information based on what have been observed.

Ten minutes later, the hospital called again probably for a follow up. but instead of asking me a different set of questions, i had to repeat myself again... yeah, great service peeps , and at the same time, two policemen arrived in a patrol car.

below is an approximate chronology of the accident from my side:

3.08am - screeching tyres followed by a loud bang.
3.15am - arrived at the scene
3.20am - made emergency call (assuming i was the second caller)
3.30am - a call back from the hospital and arrival of policemen
4.00am - left the crime scene (ambulance hasn't arrived yet)

there were several areas which irked me about this accident:
1. it took the police approximately 15-20mins to arrive at scene when (if i'm not mistaken) there were several policemen stationed at another area less than five minutes from the site.
2. they were a bit inconsiderate by asking the victim questions despite his condition.
3. the arrival of the requested medical attention took more than 30minutes to arrive at the scene.

i thought of taking few pictures and probably submit the story to the press at where i'm working at, but i figured they have their own leads within the force and besides, i don't have the authority to question either the victim or policemen hahaa. which also means that, my entry this time will have you exercise your power of imagination...again haha. ciao and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS! :)

when two loonies interact...

2010-05-06T20:30:00.011+08:00

"boleh....*mumble mumble*"..., an incoherent mumbling from a homeless guy and my first impression from his crusted hair and pungent smell was he must be one of those young unfortunate individuals who has gone loony due to reasons only he himself know.

from the mumble, i thought he was asking for money and my first reaction to what he was saying was "huh?" even though it wasn't my intention to listen to him, maybe i was curious to know what he wanted to say to me. as he began to repeat the sentence again, i cut him off abruptly and said "tidak" (no), leaving him behind as i head over to the open air restaurant to have my dinner.

after ordering my meal, i sat there wondering to what he was trying to say to me. something was off, and as i tried to recall the sentences he uttered before i rudely cut him off, i remembered snippets of words like "belanja" (buy) and "mi goreng" (fried noodle). not being sure made me felt restless, so i decided to head back to my car and grab my laptop since wi-fi was available there and i might get my mind off the restlessness.

surprisingly, he was at my car standing as if guarding the vehicle. as i went into my car with my back facing him, i was ready to show off some kung-fu moves should he pounce on me unannounced, but instead, he repeated the same sentence again from a distance and this time i heard him clearly, "boleh belanja mi goreng?" (can you buy me fried noodle?). at that moment i felt bad but reflexively, i said no.

i didn't mean to decline his request, and i certainly wasn't sure of saying yes either. but the thought of declining someone of wanting to have something to eat just felt wrong and it bothered me throughout my dinner.

my siblings and i, or rather all my family and relatives that i know of were raised to never be stingy with food. it's like a taboo for us to not share food, and this is one of the many valuable lessons from my parents i was able to digest, a lesson which i will certainly pass down someday to my own children and them to do the same to their children.

from where i was sitting, i couldn't tell if the homeless guy was still there or not. but right before finishing my meal, i had the captain to prepare a take-away and even threw in a can drink to go along with it just in case the guy was still around.

as i walked back to my car, the guy was still standing there, nearby the restaurant entrance. i didn't want the other patrons to see that i bought this guy a meal, but i realized that no matter where i decide to give him the take away, it'll still be conspicuous to some of the patrons there.

the homeless guy wasn't much help at all, he saw me carrying a bag of something in my hand and to normal people, they would've guessed the content would be none other than food since i just stepped out from an eatery premises, then again, i'm not exactly dealing with a normal guy. this may sound funny, but i had to make eye contact with the guy and raised the bag in my hand to coax him over to my car. i can tell the patrons were looking at me, but at that moment i somehow didn't care. why would i be ashamed of doing a good deed, right? as he took the bag from me, few of the patrons stood up to see what was going on. somehow sensing the awkward situation, the guy took me by surprise when he said "terima kasih bang" (thank you 'bro') and walked away fast paced... well, at least he had the decency to thank me before dissapearing into the darkness.

a wave of relief and warm feeling enveloped me, it has been quite sometime since i last did a good deed to someone and it felt good! :). what can i say, sue me for being nice hahaha.

of hunches, experience and observation...

2010-04-23T10:47:00.004+08:00

few weeks before i moved to another company (which was last year), i had a strong urge to enquire about my ex, so i met up with her sister and the first question which came out from my mouth was "how many weeks pregnant is she?", and of course, the sister was confused because as far as she knows, no one's getting pregnant in the family.

unable to shake it off me, i decided to send my ex a message directly. i started with the usual "how are you?", "How's everything?", "how's life in the married lane?" but being the untactful guy, i blurted out "how many weeks pregnant are you?" and just like the sister, she was confused as well hahaha. so i decided to drop the question thinking i may be mistaken. But recently, i checked out her facebook and guess what...she's EXPECTING anytime soon, so i did the basic calculation: i left my old company on 6th July 2009 and now she's in her 9th month hahaha.

this wasn't the first though...few years back while having a chat with a good pal about our family background, the same urge came over and i couldn't help but ask if his sister was pregnant. he wasn't sure, but the next day he came to me and said "yeah, she's 2 weeks pregnant. it was just confirmed yesterday...how'd you know?". hahaha, if i only knew hahaha.

i just got back from a group weekend island escapade for 3 days 2 nights. one of my colleague brought her sister along to the trip and i dare say that i was the least comfortable with her. there was something about her which turned me off completely even when she was being all nice to me hahaha. so yesterday, i was having lunch with my colleague and we talked about the trip. out of nowhere, i asked if her sister was having an affair? yeah, among all things i had to come up with that...my colleague looked at me intently, probably surprised with the question and denied it. i'm fine with the denial, besides it has nothing to do with me but she kept pestering as to why i said so. i told her, it was just a hunch and finally she admitted that her 'married' sister is having an affair with another 'married' man and resorted to calling me a 'creepy' person hahaha.

and now, i suspect that my subordinate is pregnant and i'm not sure whether i should be giving her the usual load or consider her situation. then again, she hasn't told me or my boss yet of her condition (if my gut is right) so i may probably ignore it and continue doing what i've been doing all these while. maybe i'll be doing her a favor financially or career wise if she miscarriaged due to the workload as she's still not married to her boyfriend although they're living together (yeah, i have an evil streak in me muahahaha).

sometimes, it pays to be a loner and an observer of humans or body languages. there are just some stuff we would be able to pick up regardless of its practicality hahaha.

owh, hi people..and it's good to be rambling again after the long break hahaha.

sleepless nights solution...

2010-04-06T15:22:00.004+08:00

i'm starting to believe that a well rested sleep is a privilege given to the lucky few (or many, depending on the demographic haha), the privileged few of whom i'm not a part of hahaha.

sleeping have been quite a task for me, ok..not sleeping per se, but sleeping early to get the minimum 6 hours of rest. after a sweeping self diagnosis, i couldn't find anything which could explain the inablility to tap into the REM state like what everyone else are doing. i tried googling the causes for my sleep deprivation but no conclusive reason came up of which may explain the cause of it, besides..some of the symptoms doesn't really tally with what i'm experiencing hahaha.

Put it this way, have you ever been extremely tired/ sleepy and eventually fell asleep..but instead of going into dreamland, you seem to be fully aware of your surrounding. every sound you hear registers in your brain and by the time you wake up, you've been sleeping for 5 hours but it feels like you've been sleeping for less than 1 hour! or when you do close your eyes and about to doze off, a sudden random sound suddenly appears out of nowhere but instead of being woken up by the sound, you wake up due to a bright light your brain conjures to describe the noise. or better yet, you suddenly hear someone calling out to you but only in that instant.

and when i do fall asleep, i seem to get this weird dreams...some scary, some quite worrisome and dreams which feels like i literally took part in, leaving me exhausted the next day as if i've only had an hour of sleep instead of the actual 6-8 hours :).

you may think that i'm stressed, but truthfully i'm far from being bothered with my daily routines, i do have a high tolerance when it comes to stress anyways haha.

Having been a late sleeper for quite a time now, i decided to do something about it...no, i'm not taking any prescription drugs to deal with the problem but instead, i've taken up a part time job which requires me working from 8.30pm-11.30pm (or later)..., yeah news flash..I HAVE A PART TIME JOB! hahahaha.

now, there are pros and cons with taking up this part time job. so i'll start with the cons first.

CONS
a) i won't be having any quality lone time as much as i want to
b) i won't be out drinking quite as often (well, haven't been doing that for quite awhile anyway haha)
c) i won't be able to hang out with my buddies without prior arrangement hahaha
d) etc etc etc hahaha

PROS
a) i will be paid for staying up late doing an easy task
b) savings will be a lot easier
c) now i can use this excuse to 'politely' decline an invitation to hang out with people hahaha
d) it'll take my mind off from my day time job hahaha

so, what exactly does this part time job requires me to do? easy, just proof reading the articles before they are sent out for final printing. as you guessed, i'm now affiliated with one of the local dailies here and frankly, i'm having fun hahaha.

my only consolation....food hahaha

the denominations of faith...

2010-03-10T00:34:00.009+08:00

I'm not a religious person and i don't go to church unless there's a special celebration going on (i.e Christmas or Easter haha). it's not that i don't want to, but i feel unworthy to step into His holy place because of the things i've done. Only until my burden of guilt has been lifted, then maybe i would start going every week. But if i do go to church, it wouldn't be for the sermons. the songs can easily put me at ease rather than listening to the priest preach...so that only goes to show what kind of Christian i am haha. just because i don't go praying every week doesn't mean i don't have any faith, because i do and no one can take Him away from me :).

For some people, i may be seen as a bad Christian for not doing my weekly responsibility..the heck, i don't really care what other people thinks. I have nothing against Christianity, but i do have something against the institutions which makes up the different denominations there are for the contradicting opinions on how the Bible should be interpreted. i mean, it's bad enough that nearly all religions are claiming the ultimate rights to be the one and only true way to God's promised kingdom that we still have to fight amongst ourselves, the Christians, to claim the right to be the one and only chosen denomination.

maybe it's not my place to argue about this, i just feel like sharing my two cents worth (which is quite worthless in a literal sense haha) on this topic. i may not be religious, but i've read the bible cover to cover on numerous occasions and there isn't one single paragraph which mentions anything about denominations...so it's quite sad to know that these differences existed only because of some pompous guys who claimed or thought they were chosen to be His shepherd. my deepest apologies if i have offended anyone, but it would really be appreciated to have an open mind when reading this entry.

i've been listening to gospel songs quite a lot nowadays, maybe it's a sign for me to start being a practicing Christian haha. As i listened to the songs, a realization which has been buried for more than a decade resurfaced; why do we need several denominations (or religions for that matter)? Put aside the difference of opinions, it doesn't change the fact that we believe in the One and Only Creator of all things. so then, why can't all of us work towards the same goal?

Speaking of religion and God, there is one thing (among others haha) which can easily piss me off. i somehow hate it when people blames Him for all the shit they're going through and when they are doing really well, they somehow conveniently forget that He exists...a real shame.

Then again, we are only humans who are constantly on trial...not to mention confused. so if you're not sure on where you stand or what to do, just try not to think too much about it. instead, do the basic thing on what He would've wanted us to do, which is to have faith.

Our God is a jealous God, and yet at the same time very forgiving for His love knows no boundaries.

darn it...i'm rambling again aren't i? hahaha. it's already 1.41am and the grogginess from the lack of sleep is killing me hahaha. Goodnite and ciao peeps :).

i believe...

2010-03-04T16:29:00.007+08:00

some of you may disagree with this entry and some may ignore it completely because this write up will be referring to all humans in general.

i'm not sure how many of us can recall our experiences of what we see or hear when we were still toddlers, where life was all too simple and we get easily amused even with the smallest things. i believe we must've been laughing out of excitement when we first took our first step of being able to walk or run with our own two feet. so excited we are that we exhausted ourselves perfecting the baby steps and trying so hard to be like the adults we look so highly upon. And it helps when the adults or the parents expressed their proudness by giving encouraging words or gestures over and over again making us believe that we are doing one hell of a task!

herein my point resides, we need people to believe in us in order to become someone great. but the act of believing works both ways, we need 'to be believed' and 'to believe' by and to someone or something..and this is where i say all humans are weak and strong at the same time.

let's put religion under the microscope as our subject of discussion. for centuries, we homosapiens has placed our belief/s to a one unseen being/s. We have been practicing and refining the art of believing up to the point of finally having several systems of religious constructs, from a lowly believer to the esteemed appointed by the people (or some may claim by God) religious leader/s.

the need to believe in the all seeing being can be easily explained by several factors where nurture and nature plays a big role in molding a person's belief. most of us are stuck with a religion because we were born in it and raised to embrace it and after years of believing what seems to be the ultimate faith, it would be difficult to turn our heads and ignore the divine existence or else be doomed to suffer in the fiery pit of hell for all eternity.

And yet, logic and rationality is against our beliefs, dictating the possibilities of His existence is next to zero, but still, we hung on to the hope that maybe..despite what our God given logic and rationality tells us, He may actually exist and would one day re-appear to save the souls of his believers and to lead those who are lost back to the right path.

We put our faith to something or someone for strength. we need to believe in something in order for us to achieve great things or to guide us to the path we desire. but most of all, we need it as proof of our own existence...that we are alive and living (although remotely) and that we are actually cared for (although it's only the mind saying it).

Geez, i have no idea what i'm rambling here....a sudden burst of idiotic inspiration out of nowhere. but hey, it's better than nothing right? hahaha.

Anyhow, enjoy the video (or rather song) people :).

a gush of contentment...

2010-03-02T22:37:00.005+08:00

i just have to say this....for the past couple of days (or weeks, i'm not too sure when it happened haha) i've been feeling very contented. it could've been because of all the public holidays we've been having here but that fact itself isn't really convincing as to how my contentment arose. yeah, the outings and hangout sessions played a part in the change but not so much as the main reason. apparently, in between the holidays, work and weekend drinking binges, i've been contemplating and analyzing my own life without even realizing it...

after weeks of subconscious contemplation, it finally hit me that i've finally let go. i mean, for two years i held on to that hope of being with that special someone..probably a chance to be together again, but it only took me a few minutes to understand the full concept of 'some things are just not meant to be'. i keep telling people the same exact phrase without actually believing in it..maybe after saying it so many times i've begun to believe it myself. despite being a sore 'dumpee' (yeah, i got dumped haha), i never held any grudges...in fact, i prayed that the both of us would be happy either single or with someone else and it seems that we are happy, though i'm still single since then hahaha.

hanging out with happy couples helped a lot in coming to terms with the realization. looking at them being all warm and happy towards each other made me wanting to have something similar...yeah, i am envious but i believe my chance will come, only time will tell. then again, i'm not really in a hurry to be in a relationship :).

speaking of relationships...something tells me that i have commitment issues. it's not exactly new to me, in fact i kind of have known about it for quite sometime now. probably my inability to fully trust someone or the fear of getting disappointed has something to do with it hahaha...maybe i'll go deeper into this someday after i've figured it out hahaha. so for the time being, i'll learn my lessons from other peoples' experiences and point of views, which means i'll be doing something i'm really good at...observing haha.

geez, writing all these down feels good...wonder why i have been skipping it( i meant blogging) all this while? hahaha...

Ciao peeps...

Weekly Report- 4th Week of Feb :p

2010-03-01T00:40:00.005+08:00

25th February 2010
Location: Loft, Waterfront
Stressed out from work and needed to relax, decided to have a drink with the Gidiots along with theirs truly. it was fun, then again...fun is expected when the gidiots are around hahaha

Lesson: good friends are really hard to find, and its hard to let go when they are found :)

26th February 2010
Location: Le Rendez-Vous Wine Cigar and Karaoke Bar

It was a public holiday and i could've spent my time at home watching my online animes but instead, had to work from evening till midnight. Then again, it was an event i organized so i had to be there..but what i didn't like was being the emcee. i'm just no good with spontaneous emceeing hahaha. What event was it? the 2nd Open-Mic themed 'Acoustics' Nite. Turn out was great, better than the first and this time with more participation. all i can say is that, they were great performers to the point they took my mind off on how much i disliked emceeing :p.

Lesson: if you have the talent, do not be afraid to show it...:)

27th February 2010
Location: Lembah Impian

i don't quite remember why i started blogging in the first place. i could read through my initial postings from my first blog and find out but unfortunately i've deleted it due reasons not worth remembering hahaha. anyhow, i do recall needing an outlet to express my thoughts in written form which doesn't require any paper filings :p.

one thing led to another, from needing an outlet for my chaotic mind to blog hopping for inspirations, i soon found myself in a network of bloggers. it wasn't surprising though, things are bound to change just like life...nothing remains the same because overtime each one of us will have to face a new phase in life. whether it's going to be good or bad, no one really knows. all we can do is suck it in, cherish the experiences, learn from the lessons and hope that things will always turn out for the better and if it doesn't happen today, pray that it'll happen tomorrow or the next day or just keep praying until it really happens...but, that's what an optimist would say. a realist like me would say something like; 'you can't go anywhere unless you work to make it happen...idiots!' muahahaha :p. speaking of work, i was supposed to be working on this same night but decided otherwise, good thing my colleague was around to fill me in hahaha.

yeah ok, i got side-tracked there for a bit hahaha. anyhow, the soon to be Mr. & Mrs. Gallivanter (in respect to the blogging spirit... besides, it sounds waaay cooler than saying MM Gomez hahaha) organized a simple bloggers gathering at Lembah Impian. Despite coming in late, i had fun nonetheless although my inferiority complex (what? i wanted to say 'shy' bah haha) hindered my inhibitions to mingle around muahahaha (yeah i know, excuses excuses hahaha). then again, i needed this kinda outing to let myself loose once in a while and get the much needed inspirations :).

the fun didn't end there though, it was adjourned to D'Junction and coming from someone who isn't really into the clubbing scene, i had a blast only because everyone was a sport and having the soon to be Mr. & Mrs Hawding (guys, that's the best blogger couple's name i can think of haha)- the crazy couples kept me entertained up until we decided to leave hahaha.

Lesson:
1. Inspirations are abundant, you just need to get out more to find it...(says something about my blogging progress as of late doesn't it? hahaha)

2. Crazy creative people are the coolest, mingle around with them and their creative mind will rub off on you hahahahaha..kidding :p

Cheers peeps..till next time :)

what i did...

2010-02-01T00:20:00.009+08:00

February 5th, 2010

met up with a friend whom i haven't seen for more than a decade at Jesselton Point and proceeded to have a good drink with the gidiots and even sang our hearts out at one of the newly opened karaoke bar at the waterfront.

i don't socialize that much, except with the people i feel comfortable with. being a sarcastic and care-less kind of guy it is quite difficult to actually hang on to a particular group. the strange thing is, i really don't mind and i can't be bothered with the need to be surrounded by people although human behaviour still intrigues me :).

i mean, i have my own world to crawl into whenever i feel bored, a world which consists of books, imaginations, movies, cartoons, animes and definitely the internet...and in this world, i'm in control hahaha.

yeah i know it's pathetic, but there's a reason to it. trusting people isn't really my strong attribute and i do question other people's good deeds towards me hahaha.

but that's just life, everyone lead their lives differently than the others. some of it are motivated by their past and some are trying to accomodate their present which may well turn into a past which could affect the future :).

February 16th, 2010

went out with a bunch of people to 'Rumba', a fun pub in town. i'm not really into the clubbing scene, but since i was dead bored that day i decided to just join them. the place was noisy (and i don't do well with noisy and dark places haha), it would've been better if i could drink more to drown out the distractions but since the next day is a working day, it was only appropriate for me to drink moderately to avoid the hangover. my decision to join them to this joint was for naught, apparently..i learned something valuable from this night.

Lesson 1: after looking at the newly engaged couple letting go and dancing like there is no tomorrow, i realized that when you're in good company of great people or with someone you really care about or comfortable with, there's no reason to hold back. i mean, there are times when we need to let go and let loose, just be crazy and live in the moment even for a little while. i was envious looking at the couple for doing just that but entertained nonetheless. maybe there is some truth to it when they say that life is about living the moment.

Lesson2: love is something that should never be underestimated. It is the one thing that everyone seeks and something that i couldn't understand. but this night, it felt good to just watch the couple being all lovey dovey during their dance and both of them seemed like they were made for each other haha. there and then, i decided to let go of the past and start afresh because everyone deserves to love and be loved in return :).

Lesson 3: Lessons sometimes comes in the most unexpected situations...

anyway, i'm leaving you guys a preview of a movie i'm dying to watch...loved the cartoon version and hopefully the movie version is as good as the series! :)

ps: yeah i know, i'm a childish geek :p

the universal word...

2010-01-08T20:49:00.018+08:00

in the past couple of days, the news of Church arsonings took the limelight. for most, it was easy to blame the so called 'religious extremists' as the perpetrators but i on the other refuses to be a part of the majority unless proven otherwise simply for the simplest reasons which would be explained later in this entry.

seven Churches were arsoned and the root of the unfortunate incidents stemmed from a specific word which sparked the outrage of the few religious communities. i mean, all these could've been avoided should everyone remained level headed and use a bit of their rationality in dealing with the situation...but apparently, for the perpetrators, succumbing to their raging primal instinct was the better solution compared to using a tiny portion of their God given mind.

but what irked me the most was the fact that these so-called religious people who seemingly acted to fight for religion weren't exactly fighting for what they believe in, they were just puppets influenced by certain political leaders for political mileage proving over and over again the nation's political status-quo hasn't changed much since its inception...sad but true...then again, these group of people isn't to be entirely blamed for it, the other party which was the cause of all these rucous should be blamed as well. in short, both sides are to be blamed...

there isn't much for me to say about what had happened, all i want to say is that throughout my adolescent years of being surrounded by Muslim friends and families, i came to love the religion as much as i love mine. i remember a time when i was 15 years old, my friends and i would be discussing religion, exchanging what we understood from our own beliefs and respecting each other's opinion on the basis of the similarities between our different yet similar religions. maybe that's what everyone should be focusing on, the common grounds rather than the differences because at the end of the day, wether we want to admit it or not, we are servants and children of the same Almighty being.

and i stand corrected that, religion is not to be blamed here but the people who misinterprets and taking its meaning literally..the culprits who think they truly understand the word of God when in fact they're still at loss to what the Almighty really wants them (us) to do, a confused group just like the rest of the population. then again, we are only humans. if only there was a nation which is focused on understanding what religion really is, a nation where differences really doesn't matter...i bet, if all religious leaders gather together and compare notes, 90% of the world's problem would be solved.

i shouldn't be saying more, a few readings from these sites would be more worthwhile...

From the pages of Marina Mahathir (gotta love this woman!):
a) http://rantingsbymm.blogspot.com/2010/01/confident-people-do-not-get-confused.html
b) http://rantingsbymm.blogspot.com/2010/01/building-peace-and-building-bridges.html

From the pages of Dr. Rafick:
http://rights2write.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/malaysian-cares/
**(i'm no 67 in the list :p)

The petition:
http://www.petitiononline.com/Msia0801/petition.html

More readings:
a) http://thenutgraph.com/allah-can-be-discussed-calmly
b) http://www.themodernreligion.com/prophet/prophet-rao.html
c) http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/malaysia/49330-dont-tell-us-how-to-pray-borneo-states-say-

(very) debatable entries:
http://thoughtsintangents.blogspot.com/

open up your eyes everyone, we are all the same in God's eyes...mortals with confused souls...ciao.

next stop...2010...

2009-12-31T20:36:00.002+08:00

yeah hey, 2010 is here (or will be in about few hours time) and everyone's pumped up and it's great that they are being all jolly and happy about it :). but aside from sharing their optimism for another good year ahead, i just don't see the need to celebrate something which, if we look at it rationally, would be the same like any other days...i mean, it's just a date :p.

we humans are strange, it's understandable that we like to have fun. but do we really need an excuse to have one, what more to put a date on it? anyhow, before i'm labeled as the New Year's grinch, i may as well wish everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010! hahaha

what's fun for me may not be fun for you muahahahaha...:p

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2009

2009-12-23T17:16:00.001+08:00

in the spirit of Christmas, just wanna wish all readers a very Merry Christmas 2009!! :)

New Year 2010 is just around the corner...:)

dreaming in mid-december...

2009-12-22T07:42:00.008+08:00

had a weird tiring dream...nothing scary though. dreamt i was in a big hall with strangers, apparently in some kind of zen influenced martial arts class. we were told to break a wooden board, i refused but my mates insisted. in the end, i gave in...after looking at the rest of the group being unsuccessful at their attempts with a simple knuckle contact technique and being a first timer in the class, i didn't think i could do it. Eventually convinced myself it was all in the mind and the pain is in my control, it's up to me whether i wanna feel it or not and i took my first strike, astounding everyone when the 7" thick board broke.

i was proud of what i did but at the same time ashamed when all eyes were fixed on me. i grabbed my bag and rushed out the front door with a blank mind, i walked until a blinding white light covered my sight and awoke me from my slumber...

see..why can't i have dreams like these as often as before :)..

sometimes we need randomness in our life for it to be more meaningful...:)

the date...

2009-12-18T00:04:00.008+08:00

the silent laid back web surfing in the middle of the night was interrupted with the special effect sound from the movie 'Transformers' indicating an incoming message on my handphone. the number didn't seem the least familiar and yet, the message sounded like the person knew me well..

'u out drinking kah?', read the message from the anonymous sender

being casual, i simply replied, 'no...y?', hoping for some kind of hint of who the sender might be

'just thinking of you', came the response...

prior to this message, i was thinking of someone from my past, hoping that the person in my mind would at least give me a call or drop me a message...yeah, wishful thinking hahaha.

'hey thanks, but who is this again?', i asked

'it's me...why do you keep deleting my number?' and instantly recognized who the sender was...

'owh sorry, i didn't delete it...there's something wrong with my phone, it can't read my sim card. so, how have you been doing?', not really serious in knowing the answer... it wasn't an interest, but just being courteous with someone i haven't been in touch for a very long time.

'i've been ok. was thinking of how we were before we met'

'errmm.....well, apparently still the same after we did', that was the best answer i can come up with. i mean, i didn't even understand the question. i recall we only went out on 'a' date (i dont think it's even a date haha), we had coffee at 1 Borneo's San Fransisco coffee, we had a good conversation, it happened 2 years ago and we haven't seen each other since!

sometimes, people misconstrue what dating really is. for most people, dating is a game where you go out with someone of your liking and try your best at impressing them. but for some people, dating is just a move to gather intelligence or information of whether the person is suited to be a companion and eventually 'the' wife or husband hahaha. if you don't receive any call from your date the next day, consider yourself blown hahaha. but if we look at things rationally, a date is nothing more than two people going out together and finding the best in each other within the short period of time.

how exactly does this dating game works? simple, it all depends on each other's chemistry. you go out on a date simply because you like them or there's a remote chance that the both of you might end up being together. some might consider a date as a foreplay to getting into his/her pants while others see a potential for a lasting relationship but either way, it requires the consent of both parties to make it happen :).

then again, how would i know anything about dating. i've been out of it for nearly a year now haha. but i do know one thing though, no relationship is complete without that first date ..for most people that is :). ciao peeps haha :p.

so...what are your thoughts on first dates? :)

the answer to (why?)...:)

2009-12-16T23:41:00.011+08:00

as most would've noticed, i haven't been blogging as much as i have been a year ago. hard as i try to complete an entry, i would more often be left hanging with its ending..unable to complete a story. so after a long while, i finally figured the reason behind the closing block...which is, i write just for the sake of updating this blog instead of writing to express what i really feel. i lost sight of why i started this blog in the first place, which is to express my feelings and share my experiences. forcing myself to write totally defeats the initial objective.

there are several reasons (or more accurately, mistakes) to why it happened and one of the major reason is, i was trying hard to make my entries worth reading...but everytime i do, it would end up in my draft folder torn between whether it should be published or left just as it is, obviously the latter triumphed haha.

maybe i've come to realize that i do care about what other people think of what i write, and i should take into account that some (or most) of my readers are people that i know who indirectly (or directly) plays a part in my observation for writing inspirations. i failed to consider that humans can be self-centred and vain, that any resemblance of what was written may be viewed as something which concerns them even when the truth is, it doesn't..well okay, maybe one or two entries (minus the ones i wrote in regards to my unsuccessful relationship haha) and that was only because i was provoked to retaliate hahaha. but my mind works best when i don't have to worry about what other people think.

now herein where my dilemma resides, should i write as how my observation dictates or should i refrain from doing so or else face the gallows of being judged and probably criticized or ostracized for using my own experiences as a mode of inspiration? haha, what am i talking about..the obvious answer is already there! to write means having a muse, and a muse is where our inspiration presents itself. so why would one choose a writer's block over a muse right? hahaha.

this time around when inspiration dictates me to write, i will willingly do its bidding (only if i deem it fit) hahaha. so to all readers, expect more consistent entries in the future. if any of you has something against what i write, rest assured that it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with me because it is myself under scrutiny when i do post an entry. it's my life, my senses, my psyche and my experiences under the microscope. ciao peeps..:).

sometimes, answers would come from the most unexpected sources...:)

of pills and sickness...:)

2009-12-15T08:50:00.018+08:00

Doc: ok, inhale and exhale..

i did what the doc told me and i can hear myself wheezing when exhaling. this wasn't my first doctor visit in 2 weeks. my first appointment with a different practitioner seemed a bit dodgy, his prognosis of my initial sickness was 'bladder infection' and i asked him how does one get a bladder infection because it sounded quite unbelievable, all he said was it could be caused by 'active' sexual activities (and i went like...WHAT?!! i've been celibate for quite sometime now hahaha) or some other stuff. he prescibed me with painkillers and antibiotics which my instinct told me not consume it. yeah, i got better but my coughing stayed on for another week and the cough expectorants wasn't doing me any good, hence the second opinion..:p.

Doc: have you ever had asthma before?

Me: when i was a child. did it come back?

Doc: emm..not exactly. what you're having is a prolonged.... (bla bla bla bla, couldn't exactly recall what he was saying as i was distracted by some of the paraphernilia inside the clinic hahaha)

until..

Me: a what?

Doc: one particular medicine will make your heart beat faster, so if that happens and your hands begin to shake, don't be frightened..it's supposed to do just that.

my brain processor went into hyper mode looking for the reasoning behind it and figured the quickened palpitations could be the effect of the opening of the lung's airway for easy breathing. the doctor somewhat confirmed the theory later on...well, somewhat haha.

Me:coooool!! (grinning from ear to ear as i was oddly excited by it hahaha)

..............

PREDNISOLONE/ 6 pills, once a day - asthma, phlegm, cough

KASTIPRON/ 2 pills, 3 times a day- cough

BROXINE/ 2 pills, 3 times a day-

CETRIZINE- 1 tablet, once a day

VENTOLU (rmp)?-1 tablet, 3 times a day

i was prescribed with a list of medicines and in my whole life, i don't think i've ever swallowed more than 4 pills a day (except for vitamins :p) even when i got sick, so it kinda freaked me out. so, what exactly do i have?...

.....

BRONCHITIS!! hahahaha. no biggie, i will be fine in no time :).

man, i'm beginning to feel like a sickly old man..really do need to quit smoking, sooner the better hahaha.

Ciao peeps :)

December 2009...

2009-12-01T10:26:00.006+08:00

It's the 1st of December, which means:

a) I have been officially single for nearly one whole year ( haha)

b) 24days until Christmas

c) 30days until New year 2010

d) I've been with my new company for approximately 5 months

and most of all...

e) IT'S FREAKING END OF THE YEAR! Time flies by so fast nowadays hahaha...

sacrificial offering for the coming new year anyone? :)

Cheers peeps :)

i wanna write...

2009-11-26T09:39:00.013+08:00

there's just something about seeing your own write-up being published in any kind of print media regardless of whether you are known as the writer for the article or not.

the article could be just about anything, work related, personal opinions or just for the sake of writing and its a plus if you're acknowledged as the writer, but the acknowledgement itself isn't really a big deal. it's all about self-satisfaction of knowing people will be reading your thoughts on paper and not vanity :).

most of the time, i write articles for the establishment i work for. but, these write-ups aren't as fun as writing a piece based on what emotion, actual facts or personal opinions dictates. it's just different to pick up a pen and jot down each thoughts within a constricting framework compared to free-writing.

sometimes (well, most of the time), i am envious to those who writes better (wayyy better) than i do. just reading at how they play around with words, imagining the things they describe and trying to figure out the messages they are trying to relay are so intriguing to the point of amazement, wondering how the hell they can come up with the story or what provoked them to write something about it or etc etc. their creativity with words is something someone would love to hate (or maybe it's just me) hahaha.

i can safely say, i am not much of a writer and a lot of training for improvement is required before i can call myself good, which is why it can be really frustrating to read through my past blog entries. with loads of grammatical errors and uncreative story line, it is a wonder why i keep doing what i do and i wish i was as good as most of the writers i've come to know either personally or through their penmanship.

this entry is not so much of a complain because at the end of the day, it all comes down to writing. so regardless of whether it is writing for fun or writing for work, the gratification of completing an article or a story is beyond explanation..but i bet most of the bloggers out there already knows that :).

Owh and...pardon the handwriting haha. Cheers peeps :)...

missing the years....

2009-10-22T15:17:00.005+08:00

'Hi Jeremy, so how are you faring with your new job at XXXX hotel. We have a vacancy as PR Manager and i was wondering if you're interested' read the text message from an unknown number.

'Hi, would you mind introducing yourself?', i replied, just being careful in my correspondence. The reply didn't come in the next 30mins, but i was kinda flattered when it did. it was a direct call from the Director of Sales & Marketing, and the best part is that i didn't even send out my resume to them.

'May i sleep on it for a couple of days, i can't rush into any decisions right now'

'sure, but don't sleep on it too long'

and i literally slept on it for 2 days, not really thinking about it. the offer sounded good, higher pay (should be more than what i'm getting), a promotion and close to my bachelor's pad. but that's just it, i wasn't inclined on taking up the post. if the offer came few months prior, maybe, just maybe i would've accepted it, but i just started at a new place and i have yet to learn the ropes and i'm not going to give up until i've proven myself..talk about an inflated ego hahaha. besides, i have a great boss and there are many things i can learn from her :).

anyhow, on another note...i'm kinda missing my buddies and mates in Kuching, been awhile since i last saw them. seems like they've finally 'matured' to being reliable people, including the bikers gang who actually hated my guts (i think) for being too blunt in my words and actions.

the bikers used to give me the 'i'm gonna get you someday' glance all the time, and i would retaliate with 'the hell you could' glance hahaha. i understand that i can be a sarcastic, blunt and a straigthtforward jerk some time (well okay, most of the time hahaha), and i don't do well with idiotic or unjustified threats.

there was this one time when i nearly crossed the line with them. in one of my speeches during our election period for the student body council (which i was forced to compete in), i was interrupted with annoying outbursts and laughter by the gang and i knew they were mocking me, but i just kept my cool. but the nervousness of being on stage combined with a bunch of fixated eyes which felt like they could bore a hole in my brain just by glaring wasn't doing much good, and i finally snapped at the gang like a teacher would to his students, 'if you guys dare, come up to this stage!', well okay, i said it in Malay 'kalau kamu semua berani, naik atas pentas lah!' (or something like it hahaha). the gang got quite, all eyes were fixated on them and i really thought i was gonna get it this time hahahaha. at the end of the election, i got the highest ballots (about 90% votes from all the students muahahaha) and was in the line to be the next student body council president only to become the vice president because of religion (which i don't really mind :P).

but in time, the bikers started hanging out with me (and i thought there may be an ulterior motive), got me to participate in the group activities (which i rarely do because i still like the privacy of my own home) and started opening up with their problems. unknowingly, i was actually helping them in whatever way i can (mostly in academics) and they were looking out for my back, so it was a win-win situation for both sides :).

as i went through their pictures in facebook, it seems like they have since discarded their bikers gang persona and being more open and approachable to new people. and i couldn't help but feel happy for them. man, i do miss them a lot :).

geez, i'm rambling like an old man aren't i? hahaha, the hell with it! ciao :P

a) being in one of the kompang troupes in my early semester (yes, i 'used' to know how to beat the kompang haha). man, i look young :)

b) I don't play the game, was just their manager for moral support (i think haha)

c) The batch who broke tradition, made a difference and became the role models for the juniors :)

d) the last hang out :)

idiosyncrasy...

2009-10-13T18:00:00.014+08:00

anger...the only emotion i'm damn familiar with. i don't quite understand, but there seems to be a whole lot of anger welling up inside me and i don't know why. i've since learned to keep it in check, substituting it with sarcasm whenever i'm not around family, hoping that it wouldn't leak out in public. given a choice, i would pummel anyone without hesitation or self control but since i am still conscientious of my surroundings, i suppose it'll be kept subdued for the time being.

most of the time i wonder if there's a special place for someone like me to live in..a place where i can be all by myself without having the need to worry, care or think of anyone else, probably a separate dimension i can crawl into and get cut out from the rest of the world, void of all sounds and only to return when the need arises. depressing isn't it...but its not so much as depression, it feels kinda weird. the mood swings, sometimes the sudden irrational fears of meeting people, the unexplainable anger and all these leads to the personal solitary confinement. maybe i'm just tired of putting up a facade..the facade which is masked by the involuntary smile and laughter, maybe i desperately need to be left alone...pathetic isnt it :).

on the other hand, i kinda miss hanging out with friends and do some catching up, but not so much as everyday. probably once a month will do, a sustenance of some sort to the curious mind. geez, maybe there's no cure for my idiosyncrasy eh hahahaha.

Go figure....

ciao peeps...:D

Dr. Ass in Practice haha

2009-10-11T15:10:00.011+08:00

last night was another one of the many nights i went drinking alone again (yeah i know it's pathetic, but hey..gimme a break will you haha). and as i was seating minding my own business and ignoring everyone who were entering the premise, i suddenly got a hug from behind. it was a friendly hug and a bit childish and i couldn't turn my head around to see who it was but i noticed there was a girl standing beside me, smiling slyly...a stranger and my mind went into hyper speed making calculations based on the height and strength of the hug and only one person came to mind, a pal who i seem to have forgotten. frankly speaking, i was a bit disappointed..wasn't exactly the person i was hoping for, but hey..it was still a hug hahaha.

"yo dude, what're you doing here?!" he asked...

"i should be asking you the same question" i replied with my usual laugh

"didn't expect to see you here and i missed you..been wanting to look you up" in a sudden change in tone of voice and i could tell he really did..

"hey well, what's the use of technology, a short text message would suffice" laughing trying to clear the gloom.

"i texted you on your birthday and you didn't reply, i thought you were too busy"

"what?!! that's like about 3months ago. grow up dude haha. but truth be told, i kinda forgot about you and everyone else..." smirking at my own reply. "so, is this the infamous girlfriend you've been telling me about?"

an exchange of awkward glances happened in a split second between them "noooo..she's just a friend, my senior in high school.."

"owh...", feeling a bit awkward for about a second there and then they took their seats putting me in the middle...

"so, you and your girlfriend are still together?" i asked

"yeah..more or less. we are having toubles, that's why i needed to speak to you. oh and you're still drinking here alone? you haven't change dude" he laughed

i smiled, and i knew where this was going. so we talked about all the shit he was going through, the stuff that has happened and finally, my advice to him was...

"dude, i've told you before didn't i. both of you are still young (literally in their early 20s), and there are a lot of room for changes. you're taking your relationship too seriously, you have to loosen up a little. you can't be controlling her, especially now she's in uni. let her do whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't overstep the boundries. you can't be telling her not to do this or that, let her enjoy life, she's in uni for heaven's sake..she needs to loosen up as well. all you can do is just support whatever she's doing, if you think she's doing something wrong then just tell her off but not in a condescending manner. at least if things didn't work out between the both of you, she would remember you as her loving and supporting ex"

"but what about the promises we made before she left? doesn't it mean anything to her?"

"geez dude, next time come up with a more realistic promises. you're not 15 or 17 year olds anymore.... grow up. honestly dude, the ball is in her court and she's on the winning side. all you can do now is just 'makan hati' (i have no idea how to translate that in english hahaha). if there is such a thing as a sacrifice in a relationship, this would be yours" smiling unconvincingly.

"you know what, i hate it when you tell me stuff like these"

"yeah, well...maybe you're just perverted cos you keep coming back for more", i thought but just gave him an approving smile instead..

i know that it's much easier said than done, heck, based on my track records of past relationships, i'm not even qualified to give out any advices hahaha. but i tell as how i see it, no sugar coating or any form of sweet words..just being my obnoxious self hahaha. but seriously, i would be left with guilt whenever i do give out these kinda stuff, not knowing whether my advices made sense or the thought that it may backfire can be quite disturbing...how's that for an ugly truth :)

"life isn't always sweet and cosy...remember that..."

ciao peeps...

HUMOR OF THE DAY...

2009-10-08T09:58:00.010+08:00

Okay, some of you may not find this funny...but for those who are in the tourism and hospitality field would find this very amusing hahaha. Cheers peeps :)

Some holiday complaints submitted to Thomas Cook

> "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

> "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I oftenfound i needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

> "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

> "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

> A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the> room.

> "The beach was too sandy. We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

> A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

> "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

> "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50)> from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

> "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

> "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England,we found out it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

> "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

> "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

> "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

> "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

> "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

> "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

> My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room, but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

Okay, some of you may not find this funny...but for those who are in the tourism and hospitality line would find this very amusing hahaha.

chill out peeps and cheers :)

the complexity...

2009-10-04T23:52:00.012+08:00

here i am seated in front of my laptop for the past 30minutes, blankly staring at it while, at the same time, squeezing my brain out for something i can write about. during the short period of inspiration seeking, a lot of stuff came to mind but nothing practical...everything was about food! KFC would come to mind and suddenly McDonald, alternating between fast food outlets, making me hungrier despite having a filling dinner. geez...and this only means one thing, if you have nothing good to write, then don't force yourself to hahaha.

but over the past few weeks i've been 'plagued' with a self concious doubt of who i really am, questioning my own individuality and my very own existence. i tried blocking it out from my head, but somehow rather a distant or vague voice keeps telling me that i should be 'out there' somewhere making a difference. yeah, it's a bit subjective...i mean, what kind of difference? better or worse? make difference to my own life or someone else's? but the most important question which needs answering to is 'how do i even begin?'.

this isn't the first time i've been bothered by something like this..it has happened before throughout the different phases of my life and i would just shrug it off as something irrelevant. but whenever it does happen, it leaves a lasting deep impression..hence the doubts. call it a 'hero complex' or a 'calling', but whichever name is given doesn't change the fact that i'm still confused by whatever it may be.

anyhow, on a TOTALLY unrelated note...i think i have diarrhea, it maybe because of the amount of food i've been consuming the whole day or probably due to my greediness, i accidentally stuffed myself with spoiled food items hahaahahahaha. the hell with it, nothing a good dose of 100plus couldn't fix hahaha.

ps: "eye spy with my cat eyes, another confusing future ahead of me"...:p. this is one 'pussy' i'd like to hop into bed with hahahaha *disclaimer: this isn't my cat :p...

ciao peeps and goodnight :p...

one of the crazies?...

2009-09-23T02:58:00.007+08:00

i'm not sure if the hiatus from blogging has done me any good, i'm still (literally) loss for words on what to say or how to end on what i may start. the fault is entirely mine though, and i don't think going for another long break from blogging would make any difference. maybe this is what they call a writers' block :p.

i could start an entry about my new job, but after a long thought, i figured that it's not much different from my old job. it's basically a love-hate relationship, i love my job yet i dislike the thought of waking up early in the morning for it hahaha. or i could blog about the happenings in my life, except that, i don't even know where to begin and what to tell. so far everyting has been great, i have yet to encounter anything bad (something which i couldn't handle), but despite all the good things, the smile and laughters, it feels like there's a dark spot within me which is somewhat eager to find the light or maybe...the other way around. confusing isn't it? well, tell me about it, i've been spending too much time alone that all the dormant incongruous thoughts are resurfacing..heck, but i'm not complaining...its these thoughts that have kept me entertained throughout my lack of social circle (of which i don't mind as well) hahaha.

but one scary thought came over me when i reflected on myself, i mean, if i couldn't be bothered much about the things around me and i can easily entertain myself regardless of anyone's presence...is there anything wrong with me? its a scary thought, maybe i am crazy...rationally crazy (is there even such word) hahaha.

Speaking of crazy, has anyone of you thought about what goes on in the head of mentally unstable people? it has always intrigued me on how their brain works. there was a time i tried to be close to them and just observe, hoping my eye contact could show me a glimpse of how their mind works. During my college years in Kuching, i had a part time job as a store assistant at a store similar to 7-11. Now, this brand has several branches around Kuching so i had a chance to move from one place to another. the job was mediocre, i mean...what do you expect, i was a STORE ASSISTANT hahaha, but what i looked forward to was the arrival of the city's 'crazies' - literally hahaha.

i managed to get close to three of these people, an old chinese guy, an old chinese woman and an old indian guy..and all of them smelt like like they slept in their own shit. even their hair was so dried up they actually stuck together and hardened- except for the chinese woman who looked quite normal, but she still smelled (yeah...think of gross, yucks.. haha). my first encounter was the crazy old woman, and it was my 2nd week on the job. she came into the store, seemingly normal, started picking up stuff and before i knew it, my colleague went to her and asked her to the leave the premise. she didn't though...she went straight to one of those waiting area in the store and just sat there...i didn't care though, i mean..she may be crazy but she's still human and besides, she was seated quitely minding her own business when suddenly she began shouting and started pointing her fingers to my collegues with a nasty glare (i think my colleague was initimidated by her) then suddenly she looked straight at me, made eye contact and all i did was smile...surprisingly, she mellowed down and moved her gaze to the floor. i then took her outside and told her (in my mixed broken chinese haha) that she's not supposed to go into the store. i wasn't sure if she understood me, but she then sat on the pavement hugging her knees. i went back in and looked at the items she picked up earlier, they were satchets of instant coffees. i smiled again, probably she wanted something to drink. picking up a styrofoam cup, i filled it with coffee and passed it to the woman. there wasn't any expression on her face though..no gratitude, no sinister look but just blank, which is something i'm quite familiar with.

she would then occasionally come to the store, but just stayed at the entrance (which only happens when i'm on duty, she would barge in when i'm not around hahaha) and i would get her something like a cup of coffee, ice cream, candies and some other small stuff just for the sake of it :). it wasn't long when i learned from the old timers in the area on what happened to her. apparently, she lost her family few years back from a tragic accident and she hasn't been the same ever since. i was glad to know of it, at least she was once normal...

what i learned from them is that, humans are quite fragile...even when losing their sanity, they are unconciously craving to be part of the society, to be treated with kindness and to be understood. they may lose sight of who they once was, but they're still human nonetheless...just remember that...

the hermit...

2009-09-16T15:44:00.011+08:00

yeah i know...i should start actively update this blog with the everyday happenings be it irrelevant, stupid or downright boring hahaha.

okay, went for a drink last night since today's gonna be a public holiday. mind you, i haven't been drinking as much as i used to nor have i been going out. i brought my camera along in case a photo opportunity arises for me to use in my line of work as an inspiration. so there i was at my usual waterhole, still in my office attire and all alone taking random pictures while being glanced at strangely by the crowd. the hell with what they thought of me, i couldn't care less...i mean, if they have something against a (good looking) guy drinking all by himself at the bar counter with a camera in his hand, just know that it takes more to be alone by choice rather than be a pretentious idiot who thinks being surrounded by people they barely know is a cool way of gaining fame hahaha.

nothing much was gained in the lone quality time, except for that one interesting brief episode which eventually hinted it was time for me to head home. here's the approximate re-enactment of the episode:

guy: ko sendiri kah?
me: ya...
guy: ko photographer kah?
me: bukan...
guy: sa rasa ko mimang photographer, sebab beberapa kali suda sa nampak ko ambik2 gambar sebelum ni...

yeah, that got me wondering...it has been quite a while since i last did any street photography myself...

me: yakah, ko silap urang tu, sa baru jak belajar bergambar ni...
guy: ndalah, sa tau ko tu...

*i think i gave him a disgusted smirk...

guy: ko ambik gambar kahwin kah? buli juga ko ambik gambar masa wedding sa nanti...
me: nda lah, kan sa bilang sa baru jak belajar bergambar. tapi kalau ko mau, sa buli tulung rekomen photographer lain lah...
guy: ko jangan rendah diri sana bah, sa tau ko buli tu jadi photographer..

*okaaayyy...i was in the mood to be alone, and i don't appreciate strangers making small talk with me...

me: sepa nama ko tu?
guy: wan
me: wan, ko celebrate raya kan? *had to ask, he looked like a Malay...
wan: ya, napa?
me: selamat menyambut bulan ramadhan *was hoping he would get the sarcasm and leave me alone...
wan: tenkiu...ko cinakah?
*damn it...how stupid can a person be...
me: bukanlah, campur. ermmmm...pa ko buat sini time bulan ramadhan?
*enter sarcasm again...
wan: tedalah juga, saja rilek2 sma kawan...
*with that remark, i kinda laughed...cos i realized i could be an ass with my next question...
me: rilek-rilek aa *laugh*, ermmm...brapa hari ko nda buli pi masjid lepas hari ni? *enter evil laugh*
wan: ishh, jan ko gitu bah (and joined in the laughter...idiot)

he started talking about stuff which i don't quite remember because i kinda blocked him out from my head..only after awhile was i kind enough to entertain him for abit...

me: sa mau balik suda lepas minuman sa abis ni..
wan: awal lagi bah, baru pukul 11 bah ni *while pointing to his wrist watch
me: tapi jam sa bilang masa untuk pulang suda *while pointing to the non-existent watch on my wrist

me: sa rasa kawan ko sna boring suda tu...*another hint for him to leave me alone
wan: ya kan..nanti sa datang balik
*klu ko nda datang pun nda apa...i thought to myself...

the moment he left, i quickly finished my drink and quitely left the bar hahaha.

when i got in my car, it suddenly dawned on me that....IT TOOK ME 4 LARGE BOTTLES OF BEER TO GET DRUNK hahahaha. gosh...i am getting old :)

life is good...ciao peeps :)

the disrupted constancy...

2009-07-30T21:19:00.008+08:00

i woke up this morning not exactly knowing what day it is. the heavy rain seemed more imperative then what the rest of the day has in store for me. after few minutes of lying down on my bed and after regaining sense of the surrounding, it occurred to me that today 'should be different' than any other days. unfortunately, the excitement was momentarily outlived when i realized that 'today is just the same as any other days, until i decide to make it differently'. yeah, i'm a wet blanket even to myself haha :p.

so basically, i started my day just as i would everyday; go to work, get stressed out at work, and back to work again convincing myself that i am not stressed out; a repetitive process until lunch time. for no apparent reason, i wanted to be alone during lunch hour, i didn't feel like mingling around and i definitely wasn't in the chatting mood. off i went, taking a 15 minutes stroll hoping to clear my mind (which was already blank in the first place haha) before deciding on which restaurant to patron for lunch. the mindless walking brought me to a familiar restaurant, a filipino restaurant and coincidentally enough, the place was vacant as it was just opening for business and i was their first customer.

i liked the environment, no one around except for the workers and it felt really comfortable and safe...i suddenly got to thinking, that maybe, just maybe, everyone needs a place where they can comfortably go to without having to think what others are thinking. not to say a place where you're free to do whatever you want and be yourself, but more like a place where you can just relax...

signal hill used to be 'the' place i would go to. regardless of how dark and spooky it was, it didn't bother me the least. i liked the midnight chill, the eerie silence which would be broken by the passing cars and the gloomy darkness which has the charm to lull me to sleep, but the best part is, i have the place all to myself. after quite sometime, the place ceased to be mesmerizing and ever since then, i have yet to find a venue which could give off a similar impression :).

the rest of the day continued as how it had started, and it should have ended the same as any other days as well. yeah, 'should have' is the operative word here. i don't exactly advertise my birthdate on my networking profiles nor do i disclose the date to anyone...the next thing i knew, i was presented with a cake with one candle lit. i 'should' be flattered, or even be slightly surprised because i wasn't expecting any of it, but i felt nothing and did nothing except to 'forcefully' give my colleagues a smile as a token of appreciation. yeah, today is my birthday...but that doesn't make it any special than yesterday or tomorrow because i'm just grateful to live another day. besides, i'm not exactly one to celebrate his own birthday haha.

then again, my appreciation goes to these people who took time to wish me personally or sent me a message:
a) my sisters: Gems, Ginds and Inden
b) cousins: Tesz & Kane
c) the gidiots: Mel, Yo & Shan (qualified by default haha)
d) Kupi (the catalyst for the consequent wishes)
e) Gidong
f) Lissa
g) Callixtus@Tom
h) Mamai
i) Gurangak
j) Sebastian@Sabas
k) mesh
l) lastly, to my Colleagues and Ex-colleagues & the 'Dysfunctional Family' :).

So, what exactly did i do on my birthday today? well, i'm now at coffee bean drafting this entry with a friend haha. cheers, ciao and thanks.

ps: i know the belated wishes would flood in after today, so pardon me if your name isn't listed..but do know that your wishes are appreciated just the same :).

smiles...

2009-07-22T11:55:00.004+08:00

it has been awhile (a looong while) since my last entry and it's not because i don't have anything to say, in fact, i have loads to tell. but just like before, i seem to have difficulties finishing my entries, adding more to the existing unpublished entries in my draft folder.

so, how am i doing nowadays? hmmm...so far my new job and new working environment is good, i've been spending more time with my online animes ever since i got my new laptop, i've been a homebody for quite sometime now (and i like it hehe), i have loads of activities penned down after this next 3 months, i'm missing my ex-college mates and lastly, i'm just happy being where i am now. quite generic isn't it? well, sometimes the simplest things are the best things in life.

i've been thinking alot about the smiles on people's faces.., i mean, what do we see in them? how exactly do we perceive them? a single upward curve of the lips, is all it takes to encrypt a message either consciously or subliminally giving hints of sincerity, sarcasm, affection, hatred, sanity and others. yeah, a smile can divulge all those information.

i've always been attracted to another person's smile, not because of it looks good on anyone doing it but, just like the eyes, a smile can be just as intriguing :). deciphering the kind of smile a person expresses is like trying to read a person just by looking at their eyes, a body language which most people tend to overlook.

my question now is...when was the last time you really smiled? :)

When I see You Smile.....

2009-06-23T13:41:00.004+08:00

Just for the sake of updating this blog, i'm gonna leave you with this evergreen slow rock :)

WHEN I SEE YOU SMILE - BAD ENGLISH

Sometimes i wonder
If i'd ever make it through
Through this world
Without having in you
I just wouldn't have a clue
Cause sometimes it seems
Like this world's closing in on me
And there's no way of breaking free
And then i see you reach for me
Sometimes i wanna give up
Wanna give in
I wanna quit the fight
And then i see you baby
And everything's alright
Everything's alright
When i see you smile
I can face the world
Oh you know i can do anything
When i see you smile
I see a ray of light
Oh i see it shining
Right through the rain
When i see you smile
Baby when i see you smile at me
Oh yeah
Baby there's nothing in this world that could ever do
What the touch of your hand can do
It's like nothing that i ever knew
Hey
And when the rain is falling
I don't feel it
Cause you're here with me now
I wanna ask you baby
It's all i¹ll ever need
All i'll ever need
When i see you smile
I can face the world
Oh you know i can do anything
When i see you smile
I see a ray of light
Oh i see it shining
Right through the rain
When i see you smile baby
Baby when i see you smile at me
Sometimes i wanna give up
I wanna give in
I wanna quit the fight
Then one look at you baby
And everything's alright
Hey everything's alright
It's alright
When i see you smile
I can face the world
Oh you know i can do anything
When i see you smile
I see a ray of light
Oh i see it shining
Right through the rain
Yeah
When i see you smile
Yeah i can face the world
Oh you know i can do anything now
When i see you smile
Oh yeah
Baby when i see you smile
Smile at me

man, 80's slow rock and ballads are still the best :). ciao peeps...

beautifully confused...:)

2009-06-22T09:15:00.000+08:00

dreams, my way of escaping reality has been a big help for as long as i can remember. it's either an eye opener (rarely) or confusing (mostly) but regardless of which one is which, it's always pleasurable.

but my dreams hasn't been occuring as often as it used to or as it should be, or maybe i may have been dreaming but seem to have forgotten about it the moment reality weighed itself on me upon waking up :).

but last night, i had one of the weirdest dreams which had me refreshed and feeling good. i can't really recall what it was, but i do remember it as snippets of events... short glimpses of different events being woven into a dream, like a quilt made from different materials.

like i said, i couldn't make out what i dreamt about but the confusion sure feels damn good as if i am bound to experience nothing but good things in the near future :).

am rambling now aren't i, can't help it though...i FEEL DAMN GOOD! hahaha. ciao

a reminder...

2009-06-17T12:17:00.006+08:00

"the morning sky is depressingly dark...but i like, it has a sense of tranquility amidst the chaos :)...", reads my facebook status message this morning. literally, it means exactly what was written. but its significance lies within the obvious.

for two days, i managed to confuse my fragile mind with unnecessary or irrelevant thoughts, ideas, assumptions, theories etc etc to the point of being deprived of a restful slumber. none of it was important, but things keep popping up in my head one thing after the other.

but as i was sitting at my desk looking through the window right across me, i could see the leaves rustling due to the strong wind and suddenly heavy rain started pouring down. in that instant, i realized that things aren't as bad and if they aren't as bad then definitely it couldn't get any worse :).

i'm not saying i've been on a string of bad lucks, no..nothing of that sort. it's just that there are times when we take granted of the things around us or moments when we successfully convinced ourselves the good things we have now should be better than how it is, that we failed to appreciate the little things in life. put it simply, i have a good life (to say the least) and everything seems to be in order...but deep down inside, i've always wanted more than what i'm having now. it may be greed or it may be a desire to be better which brought this kind of thinking, but whichever it is, as long as i'm doing it right than there's nothing to complain about..right? :).

i know i've said this before, but regardless of the repetitions, everyone seems to forget. so here i am again reminding everyone including myself to appreciate the little things because if the best things in life are free than the simple ones should be less complicated :).

am loving it...

2009-06-06T16:52:00.006+08:00

a lot of good things has happened to me as of late and i couldn't help but count my blessings. for starters, i'll be working in a totally new environment come July (but sadly still in the hotel line haha) and frankly speaking, i'm looking forward to it..counting the days when i will be working with new people, making new friends, meeting new acquaintances and probably make a mark of my own in this close circuited field :).

but with this good news and new job, i was expecting something negative to counteract the positivism (there's no such thing as something 'good', it's like yin and yang, an antithesis) and after a short waiting period, it finally materialized hahaha. yeah, apparently i will be served for haven't been paying my study loans for these past few years..in other words i will be brought to court for my own irresponsibility hahaha. but you know what, i'm not even the least worried, maybe because i know that everything would turn out right. i may not be able to pay the amount at the designated time (which is by this monday hahaha), but i believe it could be settled through some kind of agreement or discussion without having to go through court (fingers crossed). but i'll only worry about that come this monday, which means i would need to make calls and stuff hahaha.

i think age is quickly catching up to me. i'm only in my late 20's but i already feel like i'm in my early 40's hahaha. i tried recalling my past memories in the couple of years, but try as i may, everything seems to be a blur like a dream. maybe it's the consequence of being ignorant all these while or maybe my brain activities are deteriorating more rapidly than expected :).

i've got a lot of things going on in my head but i just couldn't get hold of one single thought. it feels a lot like there's a bird fluttering inside trying to get out making everything a jumble with every flap of its wings :).

i tendered my resignation a few days ago, and the news of me leaving spread like wildfire after it was announced in the management morning briefing (which is quite an honor since only an upper management's resignation would be announced) and shared with the rest of the staff with access to the corporate email (which i rather they didn't because i had in-house calls nearly every 30 minutes, explaining to them why i was leaving. yeah, flattering but guilt stricken).

as mentioned earlier, i am really looking forward to the new challenges and this time, i would have more time for my friends..so wait for me peeps :). ciao...

ps: really really really gonna miss my old workplace...and i am loving life! :)

happiness is a state of mind - FACT!!...hahaha

2009-05-31T22:58:00.005+08:00

i couldn't exactly recall when was the last time i went for a drinking marathon, been too occupied with work this past few months which limited my alcohol consumption to once or twice every one or two weeks. which is good though, it actually helped alot in regards to my weight loss haha.

but for the past couple of days, i've been on a drinking spree with family and friends due to the long public holiday we are having and after all those booze and relaxation, it feels like i've been on a holiday for one whole month and i can't wait to get back to work because honestly speaking...i'm getting bored of not doing anything solid and being away from my desk feels like i'm missing out in something hahaha.

the long holiday was good, i mean i had a chance to reconnect with old friends and got to meet up with new acquaintances. i am so relaxed that, metaphorically speaking, my brain has been resetted and ready to accept new inputs and new ideas for improvement is pouring in like an unblocked dam flooding all those doubts and negativities into the dark abyss hahaha.

anyhow, just wanna share with you peeps how happy i am with my life right now. one of my cousins asked me 'aren't you tired of being single?' and my response was 'i am happy with where i am now, so no..i'm not'. which is true, i mean, everything is falling into place, i am heading towards my self contentment that i don't need any insignificant distractions to steer me away from my focus or drown me in insecurities, doubts or any of those menial emotional factors. yeah, i do miss having someone to be with me to share my good and bad times but...who needs a relationship when i can do that with my few good friends and family, right? hehe

okay...enough ramblings for now. gonna get ready for another drinking binge (yeah i know it's late but hey...there are places which opens until late haha). ciao peeps :)

ps: had a drunken discussion in one of our drinking session and one of the topics we touched on was on science. we had a debate on 'gyroscopic inertia' and i couldn't get it out off my head until today (partly because i have a thing with rotating objects hehe). damn it, i'm so curious to learn more that i've begun to read more on it and the worst part is...i'm was not even a science stream student! damn you physics!! hahaha. read up on it guys...quite an interesting concept :).

the outcome...

2009-05-28T17:28:00.005+08:00

from swirling confusion to undescribable gratefulness, that's all i can say about what i'm feeling right now.

as of a few minutes ago, i realized my existence in this company wasn't for nothing at all...in fact, i am acknowledged by nearly everyone including the management but the most vital acknowledgement i received was from the GM and it flattered me to the point of being afraid to even make eye contact with him.

My boss had a chat with the rest of the upper management and after sharing with them what i had shared with her earlier this morning, the GM was opposed of my decision from resigning and even came up with few suggestions on making sure i don't leave the company/ brand on the grounds that he would've done the same if he was in my shoes :).

the few suggestions he proposed were:
a) i should be transferred to other departments for experience but my boss were against it as she said my career path is in the line i'm in now.
b) move to our sister property downtown, and still, my boss were against it as she knew i wouldn't be happy working with the head of department over there (yeah, she's a back stabbing spinster).
c) let me take up the offer at the other hotel and call me back within 6 months time (yeah, i went like 'what?!!, isn't there a code of professionalism in this regards especially when it involves the same field?)

and the most flattering was:
d) he actually asked my boss to give our sister property in KL a call (the area director or the head of a specific hotel) to fit me in.

which my boss did, and apparently the head of department for that sister hotel has a vacancy as her assistant had just left a couple of days ago. my boss asked me if i was interested to work there and i excitedly answered 'yes' but depending on how much i would be getting. i've stayed in that hotel, and i love the place...it's kinda small but it has a big potential of being the next best place to work at.

man, come to think of it...now i'm excited, more confused but just plain glad of how things turned out to be. sometimes, our potentials are only visible to other people and we need them to acknnowledge our capabilities for improvement :).

ps: i didn't know things could get a bit complicated...if i had known beforehand how much i'm worth, i would've done this a long time ago hahaha

me ultimatum...

2009-05-28T13:43:00.003+08:00

my whole day has been a complete suspense, the contemplation of doing the right thing has left my heart racing and my mind swirling with confusion..it feels a lot like breaking up with someone you really care about.

yeah, i decided to break the news to my boss regarding my decision to resign and pursue a better opportunity. i was feeling a bit drowsy from the anticipation of trying to catch her at a right time, i was lightheaded when i broke the news to her and now i feel like crying because i felt like i dissapointed someone (not that i could shed any tears anymore haha). the feeling sucked...terribly.

Me: Boss, can i have a talk with you for a while...
Boss: pasal apa? (what about?)
* maybe my action of shutting the door gave her a hint on what was about to be said*
Boss: ko mau resign? (you want to resign?)
*ignoring that remark *
Me: this is not easy for me to say, but i have an offer elsewhere...
* a moment of silence...*
Boss: hmm...where?
Me: *&^%$#..
* she then asked me the usual qustions when someone is leaving for another company, like, how much are they offering you? what is the position offered? etc etc...*
Boss: i'm the kind of person who wouldn't stop anyone if they were offered something better but...
*the long pause after the 'but' gave me an uncomfortable feeling...more like a note of dissapointment setting in...*
Boss: but...i would rather you stay with us. okay, what if the company is willing to counter offer you, would you take it?
*damn it...i was afraid of this. i just want this to be over with quickly..
Me: that depends, but frankly speaking...i am quite keen on taking up the offered job because i need a change of environment, something new..
Boss: yeah, but what if you were counter offered?
Me: that dependslah...but like i said, i'm going for a new experience *forcing a smile*
Boss: i enjoy working with you, i mean, your predecessor has her own strength which is writing, but you have the optimistic attitude to deal with whatever is thrown at you and that's what everyone likes about you.
Me: yeah, i guess :)
Boss: are you leaving because of me? sebab saya slalu marah-marah? (because i'm always being uptight?)
Me: No lah, if it was because of you...i would've left a long time ago *giggling at my own remark*. In fact, i had an enjoyable time working with you despite your temper because, as you know...i can ignore you whenever i want to *now laughing at my answer, which was followed by a giggle from my boss*. but despite my decision to leave, i would like to work here if an opportunity arises. our hotel is still different from the rest, everyone's like a family here...
* it wasn't easy when i first started working with her, i actually had a hard time dealing with all the requests and tantrums haha, but then...i've always known i wasn't a quitter so i stayed just to prove her wrong*.
Boss: okay, we'll talk about this some other time. Just be prepared to be counter offered...
Me: ok boss, but just so you know, i'm interested in the offer not because of the pay but because of the experience..the money is only secondary :) *which is true, because i know they can afford to do the counter offer, but i was really serious when i said i needed a new change of environment*

i felt apologetic, and i did apologize even when i know i'm not doing anything wrong. gosh..i really do need to lie down somewhere and clear my mind off. but hey, at least i got the burden off my shoulder, for the time being that is hahaha.

ps: everyone thought my decision to move was the right thing to do...in fact, most of the people in the hotel keeps saying stuff like 'i'm surprised you could stay this long' or 'about time you move on'. but to everyone out there...ignorance is bliss and optimism rules! :p

my take on kaamatan...

2009-05-27T09:36:00.010+08:00

Today is Wednesday the 27th of May, and (i believe) all Sabahans are looking forward to the weekends because in two days time, this 'Land Below The Wind' will be enjoying a festivity which is quite similar to the German Oktober Fest.

Every year in May is a festive month for the few indigenous tribes in Sabah, namely the Kadazan, Dusun, Rungus and Murut people. It is the month of appreciation for a bountiful paddy harvest with the main celebration commencing at the end of the month starting with a few paganistic traditional rituals and culminates with a state wide beauty pegeant also known as 'Unduk Ngadau'. *Please click here for more information.

now, i don't know much about the traditions and rituals as, frankly speaking,...i've never seen the actual or even participated in the event. come to think of it, i don't even celebrate the occasion (in a traditional sense) :). i'm one of those unfortunate few new generations who takes this opportunity at this time of year as an excuse to binge on alcohol and get wasted :).

i'm not quite proud of my ignorance because in the long run, if 70% of this state's population is as ignorant as i am, our unique cultures and traditions might be lost within a nick of time. but in this driven world of technology, science and rationality, tradition seems to to be corroded bit by bit without many of us realizing it and the dominating influence of religion are hindering the spiritual aspect of these traditions.

there's nothing much that can be done about this matter because we live in an ever changing world where nothing stays long enough to make a difference. all we can hope for is that more new generations would take interest in preserving our heritage thus assuring its continutiy for generations to come :).

saturday blast...

2009-05-25T10:46:00.009+08:00

the recent saturday was a blast for me, after being a hermit for the past couple of months i finally took the time off to enjoy myself. but bear in mind, if it wasn't for the invitation from the woman that made it happen (yeah shan, am talking about you muahaha), i wouldn't have even bothered going if it was something else...it's more like moral support to a friend in need (which would still be one helluva event regardless of my attendance haha).

what did i plan on doing if i wasn't at the party?..hmm, lemme see...probably nothing :). i was still a bit fatigued (not exactly hungover) from the session we had the night before, so i thought of getting an early headstart in slumberland. but since i've committed myself to attending this event, it would reflect badly on me if i were to cancel it at the last minute without any concrete excuse :).

when the time came, i hopped into my car and drove directly to Shangri-La's Tanjung Aru Resort's fun pub, the Blue Note, where the cocktail party for the official launching of LifeandStyle.com.my webzine (by invites only) took place (and i was approximately 30minutes late haha). it started a bit slow for me that night, i mean, i was still contemplating whether to mingle around or just be an observer but in the end..i decided to mingle and i think i've achieved my mingling quota which would cover the first and second quarter of the year hahaha. then again, the mingling around was only to serve my own selfish need, it's part of my job in the communications field to maintain rapports and relationships especially with the media people :). the moving around soon bore me, but good thing a fellow gidiot was around, which proved to be the other set of adventure i needed in one single night!

we didn't stay long for the event, two hours surrounded by strangers in a deafening and dim lighted environment is more than what i can handle :). i decided to join fellow gidiot Mel at the 'Hog Rally' which was held at the same venue but different location and that was my hiatus of the night hahaha.

i'm not much of a biker, but there's something about big bikes that can really turn on a guy (or maybe i'm just the only weird one who sees it that way hahaha) -in a non-sexual way :p. anyhow, i wasn't there for the bikes, instead i was there to be surrounded by familiar faces and of course....the free booze (what can i say, i'm a guy and a cheapskate. besides, the best things in life are free hahaha).

all in all, i would say the night turned out to be rather unexpected. i didn't expect to be entertained, i didn't expect to be having fun and i didn't expect how much i've missed out on life's little pleasures of hanging out with friends :). i really do need to get a life, well..not really. i just need to make time for life hehehe..

ps: pictures will posted soon enough...once i get my hands on them hehehe. ciao....

the massess....

2009-05-24T14:04:00.003+08:00

mass optimism :)

cool isn't it? wonder if it'll ever happen here in Kota Kinabalu :)

am i weird? or i am weird!

2009-05-23T13:29:00.003+08:00

either way, the fact that i am different from everyone else doesn't give anyone the rights to judge me right? hahaha. i mean, there isn't anyone in this world who are exactly the same which means...everyone is in fact weird in their own unique ways! hahaha.

okay, i am a bit stressed out sitting here in the office since yesterday and this time, it has nothing to do with work!

our office is currently undergoing a minor renovation, or upgrading after 10 years of being in the same condition. it's a good thing to have this change, but what annoys me the most is:
a) packing stuff
b) moving the packed stuff
and most of all...
c) having to work with all the mess!!

i am a neat guy (most of the time haha), slightly a perfectionist and quite an organized individual. as much as i like changes, there are somethings i prefer to remain where they are for the sake of convenienvce. but all this moving around and messiness has gotten me confused and disoriented, stressing me out to the extent of hyperventilating (literally!) hahaha. i'm so lost that i don't even know whether to be angry, or cry, or take it as an excuse to play hookie! :p.

so in order to calm myself down, i decided to blog about this (writing is therapeutic..for me at least hehe) and walla...an impromptu entry! so, how messy is messy for me? look at the picture below:

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOUR WORK STATION IS LIKE THIS?!! I MEAN, WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD BE ABLE TO WORK IN SUCH A MESS!!! (okay okay...i'm nagging like a woman now and i should stop hahahaha)..................WTH?!!! hahaha. btw, that's my workstation with the computer switched on and no i don't like coke, had to have it this time since there weren't any other drinks available to ease the hangover hahahahaha

tired and sleepy...

2009-05-18T06:19:00.004+08:00

it's 6.33am on a monday and i haven't had a wink since i came to work on a sunday morning until now. feeling somewhat drowsy from the lack of sleep and i'm thinking of getting the day off once this project is done and passed to my GM before he leaves to someplace out of the country for his meeting and presentation.

unfortunately, my immediate boss isn't around and i can't really let our artist to be in charge of the department in the absence of my boss and me in case something came up...but geez...i'm tired...

i'm beginning to wonder...am i really a workaholic? i've been getting that remark quite often lately but i would just shrug it off in ignorance because basically my definition of a workaholic is someone who couldn't stand a day without being at his workstation haha. in my case, as much as i like to be at my desk, i don't go around looking for something to do just to kill the time, in fact...i'm just waiting for that opportunity when i can have that long awaited R&R. plainly speaking, i didn't choose to be busy all the time, they (everyone) chose me to be their miracle worker..someone who could deliver whatever they asked for. sometimes it's hard being an all rounder, not to mention smart (yeah yeah i know...self praise is no praise hahaha).

yeah, this is gonna be a short entry, only because my mind isn't working hahaha

morning and ciao peeps :)