if i could...would i?

having blessed with free will, freedom and a mind of our own, it's not surprising that we tend to come up with crazy (or probably radical) ideas of how we want to experience or experiment things first hand just to fulfill our curiosities. heck, this was how inventions and innovations came to be.

but sometimes, these curiosities can take a turn for the worse when the thoughts get a little bit on the dark side. because of this, i sometimes scare myself with the things that i conjure up in my head.

this may sound wrong in many levels, but there have been times when i had thought of seeing someone bleed to death from a single open wound such as a cut to the wrist or to any one major veins. gory accidents doesn't count as there would be blood all around, leaving them unsightly messy and probably unconscious.

some other times, i would imagine what it would be like to give the abusers, torturers and killers of humans and animals (out of greed or fun) a taste of their own medicine. would they appreciate what is being done unto them?

after having these scary thoughts, i asked myself if i have the guts to actually inflict pain on others and my sadistic side gladly responded 'yes'...but do i have the heart to commit murder? my conscience was torn at this question but as much i would like to see these people suffer, i could not take another person's life (and hopefully i would never face a situation where i have to) . i can just imagine the burden and guilt of having blood on my hands. correct me if i'm wrong but once you've taken a person's life, it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

sadistically funny isn't it? hahaha :D

next post: psychopath vs sociopath...