a gush of contentment...

i just have to say this....for the past couple of days (or weeks, i'm not too sure when it happened haha) i've been feeling very contented. it could've been because of all the public holidays we've been having here but that fact itself isn't really convincing as to how my contentment arose. yeah, the outings and hangout sessions played a part in the change but not so much as the main reason. apparently, in between the holidays, work and weekend drinking binges, i've been contemplating and analyzing my own life without even realizing it...

after weeks of subconscious contemplation, it finally hit me that i've finally let go. i mean, for two years i held on to that hope of being with that special someone..probably a chance to be together again, but it only took me a few minutes to understand the full concept of 'some things are just not meant to be'. i keep telling people the same exact phrase without actually believing in it..maybe after saying it so many times i've begun to believe it myself. despite being a sore 'dumpee' (yeah, i got dumped haha), i never held any grudges...in fact, i prayed that the both of us would be happy either single or with someone else and it seems that we are happy, though i'm still single since then hahaha.

hanging out with happy couples helped a lot in coming to terms with the realization. looking at them being all warm and happy towards each other made me wanting to have something similar...yeah, i am envious but i believe my chance will come, only time will tell. then again, i'm not really in a hurry to be in a relationship :).

speaking of relationships...something tells me that i have commitment issues. it's not exactly new to me, in fact i kind of have known about it for quite sometime now. probably my inability to fully trust someone or the fear of getting disappointed has something to do with it hahaha...maybe i'll go deeper into this someday after i've figured it out hahaha. so for the time being, i'll learn my lessons from other peoples' experiences and point of views, which means i'll be doing something i'm really good at...observing haha.

geez, writing all these down feels good...wonder why i have been skipping it( i meant blogging) all this while? hahaha...

Ciao peeps...

subtle coincidence...

yeah...final closure, FINALLY!! been trying to get that for quite a long time now, but the answers are always unsatisfactory due to its insincere and selfish nature hahaha. see, confusions arise from dishonesty and being secretive. i just needed the truth to be liberated from all of this and now i have it, no more complaints.

had a short chat with the ex, and bade each other our final goodbyes before parting ways. coincidently, 'Happy Ending' by Mika was playing in my playlist...probably it was a sign, for the both of us :). Gosh, never felt so liberated before woo hoo...i still wish that we can stay together much more longer though..as was once promised, but then again...nearly all of the promises were broken (not by me for sure haha) so there's no point hanging onto empty words right? :).

well, partly the blame is on me...i should've been more understanding and less jealous, but i had my reasons to be so..and a very good one at it :).

okay, gonna leave you with the said song..i know i've posted it before, but for sentimental reason am gonna re-post it hehe...

Happy Ending - MIKA

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever moreI feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love[repeat]

I feel as if I'm wasted
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,But not together.

ps: Thanks for everything...for always aa..