Sunday, May 18, 2008

monday off day rambling :P

was gonna write something about why people need other people, but after completing the draft, i found out the explanation i came up with sounded somewhat harsh and very much negative haha. so in light of this, i'll just keep it in my draft until the right time comes for me to publish it :).

but as i was browsing through net for some supporting details i came up with something much more interesting and most people would get bored by this kind of subject..psychology haha. i've always been interested in psychology, and i would've ventured into psychology if there was a market for it here haha, the science of how human behavior and how the mind works has always intrigued me even when i was still a kid. come to think of it, there were few topics which has always interested me: psychology (any branch of it hehe), social science, anthropology, tourism, hospitality, archeology (especially Greek and Egyptian historical findings, that includes their mythology) astronomy, philosophy and mainstream science such as biology hehe. Sadly enough, my brain is just not equipped to handle this kind of subjects (or does it? hehe).

anyways, what exactly is psychology? well, it's a science which deals with mental processes (human mind) and behaviors which seeks to understand and explain thoughts, emotions and behaviors. the word itself is derived from the word Greek word 'psyche' meaning 'soul' or mind'
and evolved out of philosophy and biology (hmm, that much explains my interest in this subject :)).

from psychology, several schools of thoughts has been formed to explain the inconsistencies of explanations provided from earlier research or findings. but what i'm very much interested to jot here is the existential psychology and the reason behind this choice is because, most of us must've questioned our own existence somewhere along our lifetime.

Existentialism in every way refers to human life with existentialism and humanism being similar but not the same. most humanists see people are basically good (that's where the word humane came from) while existentialist view human nature as neutral and being good or bad are just personal choices.

as i was saying, most of us must've wondered who we are or what we are? we know we are human beings but what does that account for? what is a human being? several school of thoughts or other theories has their own definition or explanation to this question. and there isnt any accurate definition nor wrong definitions. basically, the explanations that they come up with are based on their own personal observation and experiences and since humans are individuals who doesnt really have the same view on everything around us, the explanations are bound to differ from one another.

hmmm...you know what, if i were to rant more into this subject i might be writing more than a page and by the time you're done with the first page (or in mid reading the first page hehe) you might have fallen asleep because of boredom hahaha.

so my own conclusion to this existentialism paradigm is, we are who we are. our experiences and surroundings either shapes or breaks us muahahaha....geez..been quite sometime since i last read stuff like these..hehe

hasta luego pueblo...

Saturday, May 17, 2008

wtf?!!

drunk, happy and touched...thats all i can say about tonight. received an unexpected message causing happy and touched tears to flow hehehe...wtf!!

before i leave, am gonna leave you to ponder on this question...what makes people to rely or need other people?..

goodnight peeps, will give my opinion tomorrow hehe...buenas noches pueblo...

Friday, May 16, 2008

This is my Song....

Jeremy- Pearl Jam

At home
Drawing pictures
Of mountain tops
With him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Arms raised in a V
The dead lay in pools of maroon below

Daddy didn't give attention
To the fact that mommy didn't care
King Jeremy the wicked
Ruled his world

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Clearly I remember
Pickin' on the boy
Seemed a harmless little fuck
Oh, but we unleashed a lion
Gnashed his teeth
And bit the recess lady's breast
How could I forget
He hit me with a surprise left
My jaw left hurtin
Oh, dropped wide open
Just like the day
Like the day I heard

Daddy didn't give affection
And the boy was something mommy wouldn't wear
King Jeremy the wicked
Ruled his world

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Try to forget this... (try to forget this)
Try to erase this... (try to erase this)
From the blackboard

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today


Was browsing the net just for fun and typed in my name in the search engine when this lyrics popped up. Frankly, this isn't my kinda song and doesn't describe me at all (why would it be,? it's not even my song?!! hahaha). anyway, aside from my name being mentioned many times, there are few things which are in relation to me such as:

1. the depressing side of this song (i can be seasonally depressed...)
2. the mentioning of a lion (figure it yourself why the lion is significant to me hehe)
3. the alter ego of the protagonist in the song (i may look harmless, but mess with me and you're dead meat :P)

hmmm..can it be most Jeremys' are more or less the same? i wonder...


You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

suddenly this song started playing in mind...geeez....hehe. ciao peeps :)

midnight rambling...

i was quite sure to be able to fall asleep early tonight, and after bidding my goodnight wish, i lay in bed, closed my eyes and hope the sandman would bring me good dreams to dream about. 5 minutes passed, then 10, then 30 minutes but i still cant seem to doze off. my mind was running wildly with thoughts of irrelevant stuff, must be because i slept 13 hours straight the day before hehehe. but i am damn sleepy, i just cant sleep! even with my eyes closed, i can see vague shapes and figures moving around like what you would see inside a lava lamp.

and then the thought of death appeared in mind, well..it wasnt exactly sudden, been thinking about it for the past whole week for no apparent reason. it wasn't exactly an obsessed thought, but more like the 'what if?' kinda thoughts :). hmmm...i must've telepathically linked my brain waves to someone who has been thinking about this for quite sometime, now i just need to figure out who hehehe, just kidding :).

yeah, i thought of 'what if i died all of a sudden tonight, or what if i had a fatal accident anytime soon? would it affect anyone? would it make any difference if i was suddenly out of the picture? would anyone cry?

i retrospected my own past, and from what i can see and conclude is that...my existence doesn't really matter. i've been too self absorbed all these while that i've ignored everyone else thinking i can survive without anyone's assistance..which in a way i have. even with my selfish disposition, i still have my good sides though..such as, i dont judge people, i take pleasure in observing what other people are doing, i try to help out any friend in need whenever i can (or want to hehehe)....hmm, you know what..apparently i dont have that much of a good side as i thought i would, damn it hahaha.

anyway, that doesn't really matter :), what i wanted to say was, i envisioned my own death. i envisioned that only few people would come to my funeral, not because i have made a difference in their lives but just out of respect for my family. no one would exactly shed a tear cos i havent exactly been a good friend or companion, not to mention a good son and brother hahaha. and then i thought to myself...why do i need to care about all these when i'm already dead?! hahaha.

if i were to die today or anytime soon, i dont think i have much to regret. i've seen and experienced what life has to offer, although there would be a lot of stuff i'll be missing out but it doesnt really matter cos i've seen what i would be missing in the eyes of friends and strangers.

come to think of it, i've never been afraid of dying. i grew up thinking that i would be better off dead than alive hahaha. but if someone did ask me if i was ready to die a couple of months ago, i would definitely say 'no' cos back then, i had a reason to look forward to everyday. but nowadays, life is gradually returning to how it was before and i am gradually moving into the shell where i've spent most of my waking moments in :).

one thing a good friend of mine and i share in common about death is that, we would like our funeral to be a happy occasion, not a sombre one. we would want everyone to laugh about and even make jokes of our death...well, he got his wish alright :).

so, do i really want to depart soon?...hmmm, honestly, i dont know. life does sucks and i dont mind dying, but it is not my place to determine where or how i should die. i may have the means to do so, but not the authority, only the Big Man up there is allowed to do that...besides, i'm not a suicidal idiot who thinks that death is an easy way out of life...

death is actually an interesting topic to talk about..there's nothing gothic or gloomy about it, in fact, the topic itself is as rewarding as life cos for me, to understand what life is truly about means to understand what death is...:)

man...what the hell am i rambling here..this is what you get when coming up with an entry while being groggy with sleepiness. i know i'm gonna regret this tomorrow morning hehehe...

goodnite peeps..

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

morning rambling...

aww man, am not really sure how i'm gonna cope with work today. didnt really get a good night's sleep (well, it's kinda hard to sleep when you're having fun hehe), so right now i'm in the office, in front of my pc trying to find some believable excuses for me to skip work today.

Excuse no:

1. Dear boss, my cat died awhile ago and i need to be home to bury it (yeah right, as if i have one haha)

2. Dear Boss, i'm not feeling well cos i was having massive diarrhoea last night..(plausible, but would i get pass the in-house doctor?)

3. Dear Boss, i didn't sleep well last night cos i was disturbed by an unseen hand in the dark (okay, i know that was lame...hehehe)

4. Dear Boss, i havent slept at all cos i had a really bad stomachache..probably this would work..)

ps: was trying to come up with something funny and sarcastic but being deprived of enough sleep somehow affected my ability to think straight...damn it (hey, i'm not complaining of the lack of sleep..in fact, it's worth it :P) anyway, gonna head out to the in-house doctor and exert my charm on the old geezer and dupe him into giving me an mc woo hoo hahaha.

ciao...

Monday, May 12, 2008

My Name is Rose

Cant help but to share this with you people out there...there will be more of this in the future, so heads up :)

First day of college our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'

I laughed and enthusiastically res ponded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze.

'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.

She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'

'No seriously,' I asked. I was cur ious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake..

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Fru strated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'


As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.'

She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER GETTING OLD IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give.

Friday, May 9, 2008

love interrogated...

I was doing my usual blog hopping when i chanced upon a blog of an acquaintance by profession. A quote in her entry caught my attention...:)

"Love makes no excuses, doesn’t bargain nor does it make you feel worth less than you really are. If a man truly loves you, there is no such thing as an obstacle.” - Mel's Dad

How often can one person fall in love in their lifetime? once, twice or more? well, newsflash..those who says that they can be in love more than once in their lifetime is nothing more than just idiots who couldn't differentiate between love, lust and desire. let me make it simple then:

1. LOVE: a blissful feeling of pure affection and care for another soul/person.

2. LUST: a sensual feeling which is caused by the stirring in the loin..

3. DESIRE: the need to want something for personal pleasure or satisfaction.

(disclaimer: dont be an idiot by taking the definitions at face value, look up the dictionary for their actual definitions :))

Falling in love is relatively easy, all you need is someone whom you like to like you back and walla...you now have a loved one. but guess what, whoever thinks of it that way are desperate and lonely idiots who has nothing good going on in their life.

How exactly does falling in love works? does it consist of two people professing their innermost feeling to each other or does it only require one of them to show what being in love really means? the word 'love' itself is quite a strong word and anyone who uses the word nonchalantly should be punished severely.

it's a wonder how anyone can say it freely without actually knowing what they really feel. the word should be regarded as something sacred and shouldn't be said in vain (maybe they should put it in the 10 commandments: thou shalt not use the word 'love' in vain. hahaha) because not only it's mysterious and confusing, but it's also misleading.

everyone of us are constantly looking for that one special person to come into our life and when that person appears, we would instantly know that she/he is the one for us. for most, love comes sooner while for others, love would appear quite later in life. but nonetheless, most true love are never without obstacles. therein lies the question of how far would you go to defend your love of your life? would you let the obstacles come between what is meant to be or would you stick to what is meant to be?

obstacles are what makes the love stronger. no matter how much we wish that love should be without any obstacles, the plain fact is that these obstacles are the very thing which makes the relationship stronger, makes love stronger. but if you give in to the obstacles, that only proves one thing...that what you think was love, wasn't love at all.

there are sacrifices to be made when you really love someone, as they say...love doesn't come cheap but it's priceless in the long run. so, how exactly do you know that you've met the right person? put it this way...whom do you think about or where does your mind lead you when you're thinking about someone? or, on a deeper level...take a few moments to close your eyes and imagine that you're on the verge of dying, think of someone whom you'd like to spend your last moment with. the person which appears strongly in your mind should be the one you should commit to. well, speaking about death, what would you do if the person you're really in love with suddenly died? would you regret not telling them how much you really feel for them? (okay...love and death should be discussed in another topic hehe)

am not sure why i'm rambling about love when i myself is single (but not looking hehe) and probably clueless in this area, so don't mind me hehe. but one thing i do know is that, if you really love someone, always tell them how much they mean to you and don't let them wonder otherwise. but if you cant say it, then at least do something to show that you still do..be creative :). just because you're together doesn't mean that you should cease saying or showing what you really feel...

okay, am gonna quit rambling now. probably part of the reason why i'm writing this entry is because my parent's 30th anniversary is just around the corner..and honestly speaking, i am envious of how they stayed together for this long hehehehe.

ciao peeps...