Just Stand Up....

okay, i'm a sucker when it comes to songs sung by various artistes haha. i'm not really sure why..could probably be because of the group synergy and the voice projections from each and everyone of them in their own unique and signature styles :). anyhow, i kinda like this song...not because of its catchy tune (interesting yes, but not the least catchy), but because of the motive behind the song...to stand up against cancer.

cancer is a disease not to be joked with..it can be deadly and anyone can get it without ever knowing... that is until it has progressed into something critical.

research has shown that cancer can be hereditary, and i am not ashamed to admit both sides of my family has a history of cancer and i wouldn't be surprised if one day (touch wood) i would be diagnosed as having one as well haha. but seriously...even before knowing what the disease really is (and even before i started smoking hehe), i've always imagined that if i were to live until old age there would be only three types of ailments which may take away my life..cancer, heart failure and kidney failure hahaha :). will talk about this someday because the entry this time is about a song for us to stand up against cancer hehe. so listen, enjoy and do take note :).




JUST STAND UP! - Artists Stand Up To Cancer - video powered by Metacafe

Beyonce: The heart is stronger than you think
It's like it can go through anything
And even when you think it can't it finds a way to still push on, though

Carrie: Sometimes you want to run away
Ain't got the patience for the pain
And if you don't believe it look into
Your heart the beat goes on

Rihanna: I'm tellin' you that
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up

Sheryl: Don't you know you can go be your own miracle

Beyonce: You need to know

CHORUS
Sheryl: If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up

Sheryl/Beyonce: Who are we to be
Questioning, wondering what is what
Don't give up
THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

Fergie: It's like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face

Leona: Just because you go through it

Fergie: Don't mean it got to take control, no

Leona: You ain't gotta find no hiding place

Keyshia: Because the heart can beat the hate

Leona: Don't wanna let your mind keep playin' you

Keyshia: And sayin' you can't go on

Rihanna: I'm tellin' you that

Miley: Things get better
Through whatever

Rihanna: If you fall

Miley: Dust if off, don't let up

LeAnn: Don't you know you

Natasha: Can go

LeAnn: Be your own

Natasha: Miracle

Carrie: You need to know

Ensemble: CHORUS

Mary: You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind

Ciara: If you fall, dust it off

Mary: You can live your life

Rihanna/Carrie: Yeah

Mary: Let your heart be your guide

Rihanna/Carrie: Yeah yeah yeah

Mariah: And you will know that you're good if you trust in the good

Ashanti: Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart

Mary: And it will get better

Mariah: Through whatever

CHORUS

Fergie: You got it in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
Find it within you, find it within
Everyone: THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

ps: when our time has come, there isn't much we can do about it because life and death isn't in our hands :)

goodnite peeps...ciao :)

Changes

One thing about humans is that they have the capability to change, a change which encompassess everything from the way they look to their actions. And some changes can be mind blowing depending on the degree of alterations, and these alterations varies accordingly :).

As such the level of changes, the time it takes for one person to change vary according to the individuals themselves..but one thing for sure, no one can change in just one night, and that's a fact! But why do people change? what triggers them to make a difference in their life? there're a number of reasons to it, and it all comes down to..self preservation :).

As we go along living, we may have encountered several scenarios and experiences which may be an eye opener for us to make a change. and based on experience, a single minute change can make a big difference to ourselves and the people around us. but any change that we decide to take are not without consequences or sacrifices because change itself is an act of give and take, so to gain something..we must be ready to lose something in return.

so what does change actually entails. for starters, change enables us to be noticed and change brings about a difference in lifestyle. and there are only two types of changes, a change for the better or..a change for the worse. it's all up to the individual to choose which one is which..depending on the impact of their current situation. so unless they clear up their head real quick, a change for the worse is bound to happen and that is never a good thing.

but sometimes, as much as we want a change..most of us doesn't have a single clue on how to go about it. all that's left are just words which keeps repeating itself and baseless hopes that change would eventually happen. but changes just doesn't happen by itself, we need to work for it. so when someone tells you that they want to change but they're just sitting around doing nothing, it only shows that those are just words of false encouragement to themselves and in a way reflects what kind of person they are (yeah, basically an idiotic dreamer who says only what others wanna hear..and i think i maybe one of them hehe).

i've been doing some changes myself for the past many weeks, it was kinda difficult at first but as they say..baby steps are always the best way to kick off anything and that's exactly what i did. so now, i am living my life free from the earthly vices and mortal desires (well, except for the ciggies and the booze..which i have cut down tremendously hehe), including many other stuff and free to do whatever i want (within the boundary lah) without having to think about anything complicated. and i am relying on my instinct and exceptionally good reasoning ability to avoid complications and confrontations in the future hahaha.

ps: one day should you feel like in need of a change, act on it! the change for the good or for the worse is in your hands :)

ciao and goodnight peeps :)....

groggy in control hahaha

sometimes i think i am a walking contradiction of myself. i say things that i am not only to prove myself stupid that i am haha...but when i say sometimes, it only means it doesn't happen quite as often i thought :P..

for example, i've always believed (or probably convinced myself) that i am a loner, a guy who prefers his solitude more than anything else, an independent guy who doesn't rely much on anyone to live life. well, most of it are true..and the rest are just my confused psyche interpreting the things i couldn't understand :).

okie i've said in my previous entry that i am a loner by choice and an observer of everyone and everything around me. sometimes it's sad to know that my preference irks some people into baseless assumptions haha. once again, i dont really mind..because when i do make friends, i try to project who i really am so the next time if things doesn't work out, i can always tell myself that 'ive' given them hints on what type of person i am' (most of the time that is hehe) and some do understand it, while others are..simply put..plain sensitive hehehe.

i've been analyzing myself lately and realized that, as much as i appreciate my privacy or reclusiveness, there are moments that i do need someone around to pull me back to reality (a reality which i'd much rather not be apart of haha) because the world i envisioned, or practically saying 'my world', is much more tolerable. hey, i'm not saying that my life in real time sucks (hmm, not entirely though hehe), but it's whole lot better because in my world..i am invincible and void of any vulnerabilities (yeah, a Superman except there aren't any kryptonites that can weaken me haha).

as i was saying, there are moments when i do need people around me..but if i was given any choice, i dont think i could ever be lonely even if i wanted to simply because i live in an overpopulated world of humans and as long as there are humans around i could never be alone :).

the same concept applies to the people whom i'd like to avoid from seeing or meeting. it's like, it doesn't matter how hard you've tried to avoid them, but there will come a time (eventually) when we would have to face them whether we like it or not and all the efforts of trying to stay away from are simply washed down the drain.

now the question here is, after indulging yourself with something you really like doing, something which might guarantee from stumbling on the person/s suddenly took a turn when the person/s are suddenly indulging themselves in the same thing? would you run away and move on to another thing or stick to it because you really like doing what you're doing now? well, the solution is especially hard to get when the person/s, knows full well that you're part of the thing but still decides to join in...

probably selfish and ego plays a part, or probably some dark ulterior motives are at work here haha. then again, that's something about humans aka people. they tend to be pretentious in geting what they want. it's quite difficult to fathom another person's mind because they may act and say one thing but the fact is, there's something they're after. heck, then again..what the hell do i care...if this happens to me, i would just opt to ignore or just move somewhere else.

haha, i bet most of you must be wondering where do i get all the pessimism from. hmm, how do i put this...well, i am human after all, and with that comes years of social experience hehe. but mind you, i am much of a pessimist as i am an optimist :).

ps: selfishness and ulterior motives sucks hehe. some people just doesn't know what it takes to make friends..hehe. man...midnight rambling on a Tuesday? yeah, that's what happens when you let the creativity flow and grogginess take control hahahaha.

goodnite peeps, and have a good dream...

the Cupid Shuffle...

"Brown and offensive linemen Vernon Carey and Ikechuku Ndukwe were fined as a result of their part in a prohibited 'choreographed celebration' that included more than two people. Each player was hit with a $10,000 penalty by the NFL, according to league representative Corry Rush." - Miami Herald, October 12, 2008

i normally couldn't be bothered with stuff like these, but being a curious cat (as always hahaha), i decided to look up on the so called 'choreographed celebration' aka the Cupid Shuffle and was just plain dumbfounded why would the NFL fine the players on the field after the touchdown?!! hahaha. i mean, what's the harm in doin the shuffle?!! :).

anyhow, the moves are kinda cute and easy to learn. hey, probably, with enough exposure, the Sabahans now has a new move to learn if they ever get bored of the poco-poco dance hahaha. well, enjoy the clip hahaha...




ps: i doubt this would ever make it in Sabah clubs scene :)..

paternal bond...

Been up and working since 4am this morning and it would be strange if i wasn't the least grumpy. but a kid made my day for just being there and for asking a flattering question, a question i would've never considered nor expected from anyone especially from this kid :).

The paternal bond was instantaneous, we laughed, had fun and i was carrying him around like he was my own kid. then the question appeared, whispered softly in my ear while having him in my arms, 'can you marry my mom?' and looked me straight in the eye. i was dumbfounded for awhile and laughed at it as a 5 year old's innocent rambling, but it did strike a chord in me of how prepared i am to settle down :).

next time when i do have a son of my own, i want him to be exactly like the kid :)...

ps: damn sleepy and missing the little guy :)

just plain glad and happy :)...

the past three days has both been a blessing and a mockery of my own life. it's a blessing cos i've seen friends either got engaged or married, a blessing cos i was surrounded by people who knows that being an arse is just my way of being ignorant (and i'm still loved for it haha) but most of all..a blessing cos i am finally close to being clear headed :). had a good time at Jade last friday and made new acquaintances at the same time, had a good stay over at Lembah Impian the next night which included great casual conversations and laughters together with liquors, and a beautiful wedding reception the day after hehe. frankly speaking, i like the way i am now hehe...less clutter in my head :).

i've looked at what i did for the past year and recently and i realized there were a lot of stuff i wasn't proud of doing...especially my last rendezvous, good thing it only happened like twice or thrice (well, third's the charm hehe) and ever since then, i've been..how may i put it hmm..clean hahaha. heck, after a month of free from vice, there would probably be a slot for me in heaven if my time was suddenly up :).

another blessing from what may be the worst experience of my life (so far) would be the fact that i now know what the others would be or are going through having being in the same situation previously. although i can't really tell anyone the best course of action to take cos my advisory skills hasn't been completely restored yet, do know that..some things do happen for a reason and there's always that silver lining waiting to shine through when the chance presents itself...just bear with it (no matter how long) cos all the sucky feelings would eventually dissapear. and there's no harm in crying, it actually helps alot (aside from ignoring the root of the problem and hanging out with the people who would truly appreciate you haha). let anger and hate take over, it's much better to be pissed off at insignificant things than crying over spilled milk cos some people are meant to be hated for their actions hahaha. anyhow, enough about this..we just have to accept that some people are just idiots who doesn't deserve anything for repeating the same mistakes over and over again thinking that they would always get scot free with it..well, there's always that karmic retribution remember hahaha.

anyhow, the people around me are getting hitched...and i can't help but wanting the same thing they have. I WANT A FAMILY TOO!! hehe, but it's a bit difficult to have one when just the thought of being in a relationship after the terrible storm doesn't sound like a good idea hahaha.

you know what peeps, i love my life..and i especially love those people who brought colours to my life such as mi familia and mi amigos haha. i'm just glad that, after all the efforts of being ignorant and trying to keep things behind, good things are finally looking up to me hehehe...

ps: remember this...ignorance can be a total bliss...:)

goodnite and ciao peeps..may you have a good week ahead of you :).

in appreciation...

September has ended and October is in for a new slate and cleaner chapter after months of beating myself up for reasons easily dealt with. before i go on any further, let me remind you that this is NOT supposed to be a sappy entry hehe.

when i made my decision couple of months back on how to deal with the trying situations, it wasn't entirely based on what i was feeling then, but more to assessing the present and compare it to what may come in the future or in other words, applying what i know then and weigh it against with what i may have to face :). yeah, in layman term...it's all about practicality and rationality.

it's relatively easy when it comes to making decisions based on rationality, but rationale can sometimes be blurred by other underlying factor such as emotions, making what may be a simple and solvable task into something the opposite :).

one thing i'm grateful of is having the people i can really call my friends. fyi, i don't normally acknowledge people i just got to know as friends, cos for me, friendship takes time to bond and most of all trust..and trusting people is an issue for me :).

but eventually some of these people i do finally accept as a friend, and it's not because of 'what' they are, but mainly 'who' they are, and when i say who..it generally relates to what kind of persons they are :). then again, i've conditioned myself to notice the type of people who would get along well with me cos my only motto when it comes to making friends is that 'if you can't accept me for who i am, even when i'm such an ass...then there's no point for us to even be acquainted. in some cases, the time factor doesn't apply to some people cos there would be a time when we meet someone, a spontaneous link is formed.

anyhow, what i was trying to say is that, i'm not someone whom you might say 'a person who has a lot of friends' hahaha, that would be far from the truth cos although i am mostly surrounded by great people, but among these great people, only a handful of them are worthy of my respect and these people are the ones i really don't mind hanging out with. but even so, i don't need to meet up with them all the time (or everyday) cos come on..it's not like i'm married to them hahaha.

so to the people that i hang out with, the people that i look for when ever in need of company, the people who would be there whenever i invite them over for any occasions and vice versa... you are the people i call friends and the entry this time is my appreciation to every one of you cos with or without you realising it, you have given me the insights on how to deal with my own demons. i would extend my appreciations personally but unfortunately, my inflated ego prohibits me from doing so or else i would feel indebted to you peeps hahaha.

ps: friends is more than hanging out together and having a great time, it's about understanding and respecting each other's need, cheering them up when they're down and most of all, accepting them for who they really are (even when they're being an ass hahaha). who needs more friends when there're these great people who will always be there for you :). mis mas efusivas gracias amigos, you peeps know who you are :).