sick..darn it hahaha

okay, for the past couple of weeks i've been feeling a bit under the weather. first off, there was this feeling of getting the fever..which never materialized and secondly, i have swellings in my right thigh near my groin area.

since i had a blast holidaying in mabul prior to getting the swells, i thought it could be just a muscle pull so i didn't bother to inform the doctor of it. but after a week, the pain got worse and more conspicuous so i googled it up and the closest info i could get was 'swollen inguinal lymph nodes'.

inguinal lymph nodes
Lymph is a clear fluid flowing through the lymph vessels that nourishes the tissues and takes out the wastes from them to filter it out through the bloodstream. Lymph system is all pervasive. Like the stretch of blood vessels and nerve tissues, you can feel the presence of lymph nodes all through the body. Such lymph nodes in and around the groin region are called inguinal lymph nodes.

Just above either side of the genitals and lying in lower reaches of abdomen, inguinal lymph nodes can be quite vulnerable to being enlarged, swollen and even malignant. Such lymph malignancy in the area may result in endometrial cancer.

[Read more in thelymphnodes.com and health.top54u.com]

so what could be causes for the swellings? there are several, such as bacterial or viral infection, tick bite, lymphoma or tuberculosis and others which i haven't googled up yet.

at first, i thought it could be an infection due to the toe injury i got in mabul but it seemed a bit off since my swollen lymph nodes were on my right leg and my injured toe was on the left, but i stuck to that possibility since it sounded less harmless. after a week of being prescribed antibiotics, the swelling didn't subside...instead, a new swelling appeared which prompted the referral to a private hospital and a proposal for a biopsy to be performed.

i don't like the idea of being dissected, so instead...i decided to give another go of the antibiotic treatment and see how it goes.

but after coming back from the hospital, it suddenly hit me...isn't the doctor supposed to propose a blood test first before going straight for the biopsy?

anyway, i've decided to take a blood test tomorrow, so fingers crossed that nothing terminal comes up and hopefully after this one week, the swellings will subside :p.

those dark spots are the swollen area...

the doctor's report...

ps: would be nice if i weren't single right now... lol :p

ciao peeps :D

christmas what?

normally, at this time of the year i would be enjoying myself with lots of booze regardless of whether i am with family, friends or alone. but this year around, not only am i not back in my own hometown, i even got the fever which puts my christmas celebration plannings, which is not exactly fun to begin with, to a stall. so, what did i do on christmas eve and day?

obviously, there's nothing much to be done when it feels like you're on your deathbed hahaha. i've been sleeping alot, been swallowing panadol pills and cough syrup and been watching reruns of Bones, CSI and Eureka (good thing my astro was activated right before the holidays haha).

despite feeling uncomfortable and weak, something good actually came out of being sick:

a) it inhibited my need for a cigarette.
b) i've been sleeping alot, which means i've been catching up on my much deserved rest.

well, so much for christmas optimism. in my case, no miracles happened and i am stuck with spending christmas alone with only my tv and internet hahaha.

Cheers :D

a dose of reality...

life has both it's ups and downs. when there's a good thing, there's definitely a bad thing waiting to happen. but that's just one of the basic universal laws, something like light and dark; yin and yang; positive and negative; and so on...

but speaking about life, we tend to forget what life is about, or more accurately what living is about. despite how happy we may be, we get lost in the mazes of life's ever changing journey. but one fail safe and fool proof aspect is certain to bring us back to our senses...which i will touch on later in this entry. but first, let's just begin with the happy stuff which makes most of us feel alive.

in the next few weeks, a line up of wedding invitations will be in order. some i might be able to attend, few i will definitely attend regardless of anything and most i won't be attending at all due to my earlier commitments. and weddings such as these would sometimes put me in a confusing situation where i try to assimilate my own happiness with theirs but no matter how i try, my envy to their own happiness overwhelms the fact that i might be in their position sometime in the future :p. heck, 10 years ago i wouldn't give a damn about stuff such as this. but life sometimes plays a funny a game on us. as we grow older, our wants or needs become limited and we start to think about what's going to happen in the next few years, choices seem to become a commodity and uncertainty becomes a lot clearer. but hey, these are just some of the ingredients which makes us wiser to say the least.

the more we are engrossed of what life has to offer, or what needs to be attained from it, we forget that life is about making every second we breath meaningful. we don't need wealth to experience life to the fullest, we just need to understand that even the little things are sources which can bring the most depressed man to become the happiest man on earth.

as i was saying earlier, the one fail safe and fool proof aspect to making us realize this is none other than...death. ironic isn't it, to understand what life is, we need to empathise what death entails. then again, life and death is a never ending cycle which interconnects with each other.

a couple of days ago, a friend and ex-colleague of mine was admitted to the hospital for cancer. i'm not really sure at what stage is he in, but from what i've been told, it's not good. i've been meaning to visit him, but, unlike what my other ex-colleague told me 'ko pi jumpa lah bapa, dia selalu suka tu crita sma ko' (go and visit 'bapa', he had always liked chatting with you), i can't ....... yeah, 'bapa' which means father as he is called in the office, a soft spoken middle aged man of around 40+ of age with three children and a loving wife, he was my colleague in the same department and we would chat while doing our work to keep the stress at a safe distance and sometimes, we would just sit quietly the whole day focusing on the task at hand. even after i left, he would sometimes ask me of my situation at my new work place whenever i call up and he would start complaining in his own gentle way as if saying it would be different if i hadn't left.

but this time around, i wouldn't know what to say if i do drop by and visit. i mean, it's easy to be sarcastic and sanguine on normal days, but, knowing what his condition is like...being the person i am might not be such a good idea. or maybe, i should ignore the fact that he's sick and continue doing what i've been doing all these while so maybe, he could get a dose of my twisted world for a temporary respite from reality..nah, how could i even joke about this.

anyway, i am confused...well, was confused to be exact. as i'm writing this down, i've finally found the answer and the approach am gonna take. if laughter is the best medicine, then i'll inject a large dose of insanity into this head. fingers crossed hahaha.

of pills and sickness...:)

Doc: ok, inhale and exhale..

i did what the doc told me and i can hear myself wheezing when exhaling. this wasn't my first doctor visit in 2 weeks. my first appointment with a different practitioner seemed a bit dodgy, his prognosis of my initial sickness was 'bladder infection' and i asked him how does one get a bladder infection because it sounded quite unbelievable, all he said was it could be caused by 'active' sexual activities (and i went like...WHAT?!! i've been celibate for quite sometime now hahaha) or some other stuff. he prescibed me with painkillers and antibiotics which my instinct told me not consume it. yeah, i got better but my coughing stayed on for another week and the cough expectorants wasn't doing me any good, hence the second opinion..:p.

Doc: have you ever had asthma before?

Me: when i was a child. did it come back?

Doc: emm..not exactly. what you're having is a prolonged.... (bla bla bla bla, couldn't exactly recall what he was saying as i was distracted by some of the paraphernilia inside the clinic hahaha)

until..

Me: a what?

Doc: one particular medicine will make your heart beat faster, so if that happens and your hands begin to shake, don't be frightened..it's supposed to do just that.

my brain processor went into hyper mode looking for the reasoning behind it and figured the quickened palpitations could be the effect of the opening of the lung's airway for easy breathing. the doctor somewhat confirmed the theory later on...well, somewhat haha.

Me:coooool!! (grinning from ear to ear as i was oddly excited by it hahaha)

..............

PREDNISOLONE/ 6 pills, once a day - asthma, phlegm, cough

KASTIPRON/ 2 pills, 3 times a day- cough

BROXINE/ 2 pills, 3 times a day-

CETRIZINE- 1 tablet, once a day

VENTOLU (rmp)?-1 tablet, 3 times a day

i was prescribed with a list of medicines and in my whole life, i don't think i've ever swallowed more than 4 pills a day (except for vitamins :p) even when i got sick, so it kinda freaked me out. so, what exactly do i have?...

.....

.....

.....

BRONCHITIS!! hahahaha. no biggie, i will be fine in no time :).

man, i'm beginning to feel like a sickly old man..really do need to quit smoking, sooner the better hahaha.

Ciao peeps :)

the mantra...

body aches all over from the ultimate frisbee game yesterday..not to mention the fever which is gradually catching up....

i'm not going to be sick, i'm not going to be sick, i'm not going to be sick, i'm not going to be sick...

ps: i am getting sick....damn it...2 more days, i just need couple more days and i'll be better...