Wednesday, June 18, 2008

confusing entry??...

it would be midnight soon but i'm still unable to shut my eyes and transport myself to dreamland. i think i know why, cos i haven't had the chance to do what i would normally do before going to bed every night (hey, i wasn't implying anything obscene okay hahaha :)). i dunno whether i should do it because i'm not sure whether it's needed. anyhow..from how it has been going lately, probably what i needed to do isn't as important to anyone else but to myself alone.

the same thing happened to me last night, but i decided to do it and felt quite good after that :)..but tonight, am not really sure cos i'm having my doubts.

on another note, there were times when i wished things were a lot different than it is now. i've wondered where would i be or what would i be doing or thinking right now if things had remained the same on my side. i've always wondered how it would be like if i had trusted my instincts not to do the things i did which had put me in this mess and confusion.

i kept thinking and contemplating when i finally realized that, if i hadn't done the things i did, i would've been missing or lost the greatest thing that has ever happened to my 20++yrs of my life, so in a way, there aren't any regrets and if one day (although quite slim) i had a chance to do it all over again, i would without any second thoughts :), but for now, i'll just sit back and relax until that time or opportunity comes again.

sometimes being wise isn't about doing all the right things, heck..wisdom comes from a series of mistakes we commit within our lifetime and learning from it, and sometimes, doing the unwise things can ultimately lead us to the answers we have been searching for.

then again, wisdom are nothing more than words or thoughts of people who think they are right all the time, people who has taken the first plunge and lived to tell their side of the story. but what they don't realize is that, the first plunge can sometimes be ugly and scary but after doing it several times it'll be like a walk in the park with an added bonus of being able to anticipate what will appear next..and these are the people whom we should listen to, the people who lived through it over and over again.

man..wat am i rambling here? must be the effect of the full moon hehehehe. am darn sleepy right now so good night peeps :)..

ps: being wise and ignorant= rationale and strong...

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