Sunday, December 28, 2008

counting days to 2009...

Couple more days to go until the new year approaches, and there's something about ushering in the new year entails to having a makeover, or a new lease at everything :).

There isn't much to say about 2008, aside from it being a year full of mistakes, stupidity and foolishness. a year dominated with confusion, heartaches and pain, but also a year where i finally stood my ground and fortified my own self to be a better person hahahaha.

But despite all the bad experiences, good thing did come out from it. i got to know crazy and intelligent people who never cease to amuse me with their sarcasm and wit, and people who are matured enough to know their limits and childish enough to have fun hahaha.

One thing for sure though, the experiences i gained in 2008 are what i may call a lesson for a lifetime. all that has happened has made me a few notches wiser in certain areas and detached in some hahaha.

As i browsed through my whole year entries, i realized that i've been too caught up with something which was never real in the first place. i was stuck in a fantasy where i thought that things would eventually work out the way i wanted them to be, but that's just it..a fantasy. then again, reality is what you strive hard to make it real and going through all those hardships is an indication of being in the real world.

I could list down all the things i've learned in the whole of 2008, the good and bad and pros and cons of everything..but after giving it much thought, it wouldn't exactly make any difference :).

So what do i have to say about 2008? well, YOU SUCK! hahahaha and i'm really looking forward to your predecessor..the new and improved 2009 :).

Ps: ignorance is bliss..... To all: MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY BLESSED NEW YEAR!!! ciao peeps :)..

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

the pre-x'mas ramblings :P

Christmas is just around the corner (9 more days to be exact) and i can't help but to wonder what exactly am i going to do hahaha. but come to think of it, it has been a very long time since i've felt or experienced the Christmas spirit.

Unlike other kids, i never believed in Santa Clause and his reindeers. The thought of a big bellied guy in a red suit coming down through the chimney to bring Christmas cheers to the children just doesn't seem right and very much illogical hahaha. yeah, his 'special' abilities could be associated with a simple act of magic but come on people, magic or no magic...why in the world does he wanna go through a chimney? why can't he just go through the front door like everyone else? what about those houses without any chimney?!! hahahaha.

anyhow, instead of thinking about the perverted big fat guy (no offense hehe) i occupied my thoughts about the possibility of extraterrestial life forms who are way more advanced than the fickle minded overpopulated human civilization and just thinking about their technology or what they're capable of is much more exhilirating than expecting a gift to suddenly appear in the middle of the night (which i've always known they were of my parents doing).

i have nothing against this festive season, in fact, looking at everyone's anticipation as the special day draws close reminds me of the good in everyone...of how everyone has that capability to make a change in someone else's lives :).

So....what am i doing for Christmas? hmmm.....probably just drive around aimlessly or call up other pathetic bastards who are in the same shoes as i am and grab a drink or two, who knows, but what i'm certain of...something will come up when i least expect it to hehehe.

i love Christmas, but i don't really have a fond sentiment for it. i love it as much as i love the other festivities :).

ps: haven't been to Church for quite sometime now...the thought of being in one accentuates the hypocrisy in me. but times are changing, maybe this time around would be different..cheers :)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

the full moon for the foolish hearted fool :)

The full moon Friday night will be the biggest one of the year as Earth's natural satellite reaches its closest point to our planet.

Earth, the moon and the sun are all bound together by gravity, which keeps us going around the sun and keeps the moon going around us as it goes through phases. The moon makes a trip around Earth every 29.5 days. But the orbit is not a perfect circle.

The moon's average distance from us is about 238,855 miles (384,400 km). Friday night it will be just 221,560 miles (356,567 km) away. It will be 14 percent bigger in our sky and 30 percent brighter than some other full moons during the year, according to NASA.

Tides will be higher Friday night, too. Earth's oceans are pulled by the gravity of the moon and the sun. So when the moon is closer, tides are pulled higher. Scientists call these perigean tides, because the moon's closest point to Earth is called perigee. The farthest point on the lunar orbit is called apogee.

Some other strange lunar facts:

a) The moon is moving away as you read this, by about 1.6 inches (4 centimeters) a year. Eventually it'll be torn apart as an expanding sun pushes the moon back toward Earth for a wrenching close encounter.

b) There is no proof the full moon makes people crazy.

c) Beaches are more polluted during full moon, owing to the higher tides.

d) The moon will rise Friday evening right around sunset, no matter where you are. That's because of the celestial mechanics that produce a full moon: The moon and the sun are on opposite sides of the Earth, so that sunlight hits the full face of the moon and bounces back to our eyes.

e)At moonrise, the moon will appear even larger than it will later in the night when it's higher in the sky. This is an illusion that scientists can't fully explain. Some think it has to do with our perception of things on the horizon vs. stuff overhead.

f) Try this trick, though: Using a pencil eraser or similar object held at arm's length, gauge the size of the moon when it's near the horizon and again later when it's higher up and seems smaller. You'll see that when compared to a fixed object, the moon will be the same size in both cases.
g) You can see all this on each night surrounding the full moon, too, because the moon will be nearly full, rising earlier Thursday night and later Saturday night.

h) Interestingly, because of the mechanics of all this, the moon is never truly 100 percent full. For that to happen, all three objects have to be in a perfect line, and when that rare circumstance occurs, there is a total eclipse of the moon.

article obtained from Yahoo! News

kinda noticed the contrasting size compared to the previous full moons. and the feeling it presented was neither joy, excitement, fear, sadness, sorrow, happiness or anything remote to anything emotional. the moment my eyes gazed on the moon at the horizon, i was awestruck because for the first time the night sky lit up with the mesmerizing silver rays of an oversized moon. i couldn't help but wonder on the reason behind the captivating change of size.

it didn't take me long to see the logic behind it, i was quite certain the moon was somewhat closer to earth this time around. few minutes later, instead of trying to think about it..i decided to bask in the ray for a good few minutes before proceeding home from work.

i know there isn't any proof which says the moon has an effect on people, but what i do know is...the full moon calms me, more or less in the same way of how the wet rain would. i could stare at it for hours given the right location and situation, and sometimes i feel like i can draw energy from it as well...yeah, i know it sounds preposterous and superstitious but hey..we have to make do with whatever suits us well right :).


Friday, December 5, 2008

Grown Up Christmas Wish (.....hah! a wish is just an overated meaning to self deception haha)

i know i should start actively blogging like before, practically telling the whole world of all my doings and making my life an open book for everyone to read..but you know what, as much as i want to, i just can't. yeah, aside from losing the motivation (or inspiration..) to do so, i just don't seem to have the time to be updating this blog as frequent as i should've :).

anyhow, the reason for this current entry is to share with you one of my favourite x'mas song around hehehe

Grown Up Christmas List- Micheal Buble

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now
Can you still help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up
Christmas list

What is this illusion called
The innocence of youth
Maybe only in their blind belief
Can we ever find the truth

There'd be no more lives torn apart
And wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas list
This is my only lifelong wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list

ps: man, love this song..i could fall in love with anyone who could play this song on piano well haha!! just so you know, i want a compilation of Michael Buble's Christmas songss for my christmas gift hahaha .my next entry would probably be days or a week before hang on there peeps :).

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Happy World AIDS Day...

yeah, i know this entry is a bit late to be put up..but i just wanna share it not only as the title but also as a shout out to everyone out there..

so, in honour of the World Aids Day, i have been walking around with the red ribbon pinned on my shirt collar :)...

on another note, got this you tube vid clip from DanJoe's gave me the goosebumps, not to mention touched by how the song was sung :P...

ciao peeps...:)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Daniel Powter - Next Plane Home

another nice song to share with you peeps :)...

Next Plane Home

I woke up early to baby blue eyes from a far whoah whoah
And when the sun comes through and lights you like the
angel you are whoah whoah
I know I do you wrong when I’m with you I’ve been gone

With every season change, it looks the same November to
June whoah whoah
And dont these empty streets skip a beat the flowers dont
bloom whoah whoah

I can’t believe I missed your birthday again
and I wanna come back but I just don’t know when now

And I’m so lonely your're not here with me
That’s way I’m gonna be on the next plane home

The road that never ends around the bend I see your smile
whoah whoah
I’d swim across the sea to be with you for a while whoah
Cos I’ve made a life of being gone
Now the way that I feel I just don’t belong here

And I’m so lonely you’re not here with me
Thats why I’m gonna be on the next plane home
And you’re you’re the only face I wanna see
Thats why I’m gonna be on the next plane home

Stand around try to make every moment
And be somebody yeah anybody
It seems the whole world is taking me over
I need somebody to help me get back to it

And I’ve always been a million miles away
But things are gonna change
I just wanna come home

And you’re you’re the only face I wanna see
Thats why I gonna be on the next plane home
Yeah I’m taking the next plane home
Now I’m getting the next plane home
Now I’m taking the next plane home
Ciao Peeps :)...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Tagged by Lil Sis Joy and Welster...

nah Joy, Wel...semoga kamurang puas hati haha

What you should do:

1) Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now.
2) Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
3) Post that picture with NO editing.
4) Post these instruction with your picture.
5) Tag 10 people to do this

okeh, malas sa mau ambik gambar banyak2 hahaha, my vanity is still at a safe level hahaha. as for the tagging other people part, i'm gonna skip it :)

ps: 2&3 tag out of 3 :P

Sunday, November 9, 2008

the low down..

lately, i've been looking at things around me quite differently than usual. everything seems a bit different, like having their own distinct vibrant (or for some, pale) signatures or colours which makes them uniquely themselves and i couldn't believe how distracted i've been for not noticing it for quite awhile now.

but i think that's what life is full of distractions to make us notice what's really out there. every turn of events, either good or bad, is another distraction to the bigger goal (whatever that may be).

because of this..i have decided to lay low for the time being and just bask in what life has to offer. i need a break from my own cluttered head...which means, i will be on a sabbatical from this blog for awhile :) (again hehe)..

ciao peeps...

ps: someone once told me "to get a life" quite sometime ago and it still lingers up till this know what, i am now ready to :). so life, here i come...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Saturday, November 1, 2008

halloween at Jade...coolio :D

The Halloween costume party at Jade last night was the BOMB!!! i didn't exactly dress up like the rest, mainly because my current self is a costume by itself hahaha, besides...i don't really fancy dressing up (especially the make up part) :).

the party was great and the crowd was way better than i had expected. most of the bloggers and frisbee players were there, everyone seems to know short, i loved seeing everyone with a smile on their faces hahaha.

anyhow, i was a bit dissapointed..obviously not because of the crowd but because i couldn't become my alter monster ego hahaha. i looked high and low for that one thing which could personify my ego haha..yeah, i wanted a fang, a vampire fang hahaha. one thing great about fangs is dont have to dress up for the part, all you have to do is just smile, show off your teeth and voila..everyone knows you're a vampire hahahaha. maybe i should be Lestat from Anne Rice's vampire novels hehehe. at last, i settled for a crooked teeth (go figure hehehe).

then again, i just wanna say that it was great and everyone had fun from the moment i came in until the end hahaha. Party was awesome :)

Friday, October 31, 2008


ps: i'll be at 'Jade' tonight if anyone missess me hehehe

movies summarized...

as what i've posted in my previous entry, yesterday was my movie marathon day and that was exactly what i did..watched 3 movies in a row hahaha (talk about living the life hehe). anyhow, instead of going for the late night movie, i started earlier so that my quota of 3 movies were fulfilled..and besides, i was darn sleepy by the time the 3rd movie ended :).

the movie marathon started at 5pm with 'Bangkok Dangerous' as the appetizer haha, but honestly, i was the least interested to watch this movie because i kinda knew how it would be like. unfortunately, there are limited shows at 5pm and the only movies available at that hour was 'High School Musical: 3' and that somewhat dissapointing movie which i went for hahaha.

if 'Bangkok Dangerous' was the appetizer, the main course would be 'The House Bunny' and good thing it was satiating hehehe. i'm not really sure why i liked the movie, maybe there's something about Anna Faris haha.

i didn't go for any side dish after that since i was beginning to get a bit stuffed so i skipped straight to dessert with 'Disaster Movie'..and was a disaster alright! i mean, the humors were lame, the actors looked like idiots and Kim Kardashian (i think it was her) was just a pretty face to compensate for the ugliness of the rest of the crew (good thing she died early haha)

Bangkok Dangerous
my personal opinion on the movie? well, i expected a 'more action and less talk' kinda movie..but with Nicholas Cage in it (don't get me wrong, i love the dude), there's no way a supposed action movie can be a truly action movie..know what i mean hehehe.

the action stunts were, how may i put it...mediocre and nothing thrilling about it. everything about the movie is a drab. to summarize the movie: it's about an assasswin hired by a businessman to get rid of his rivalries, the downside was...he fell in love with a deaf lady and got attached with his messenger boy which led him to his death trying to save him (yeah, that's a spoiler..the hero died haha). i could've had a better time watching the High School musical hahaha.

my recommendation: a must watch movie if you feel like sleeping in the cinema...

my rating: 2* out 5*

The House Bunny
well, this movie got me smiling throughout its period haha. there's just something about Anna Faris playing a blonde dumb which always gets me going haha. humors were pretty good and everyone was a sport, at least the jokes are quite original and aren't repetitive as in the other similar genres :).

What is the movie about? well, it's about a playboy bunny who got tricked by a jealous housemate into leaving Hugh Hefner's playboy mansion, being homeless and out of job, she decided to become a 'housemother' to a sorority house and changes all the occupants from being losers to populars (yeah, it's a bit cliche but at least it has it's own twist :P) with her vast experience as a bunny..basically, it's about a movie of an innnocent girl finding herself in an unexpected way :).

my recommendation: a good chick flick of the month and not to be watched alone. bring your friends (or boyfriends, i bet they would be entertained by some of the flicks in it hehe) for a feel good full of laughter moments :).

my rating: 3 1/2* out of 5*

Disaster Movie
A TOTAL DISASTER!!! that's all i can say. no originality, humorless jokes, stiff actors..all and all, JUST PLAIN STUPID!! muy estupido haha...i think that sentiment says much about the movie :P.

my recommendation: great movie!!....for retards :)

my rating: 5* out of 5*....but only if you're a retard hahaha

hmm..that's enough for this morning's ramblings,...stay tuned, for more actions and adventures hahaha.

Ciao peeps :)...

ps: what to do? what to do?...hehe

Thursday, October 30, 2008

movie marathon hehehe...

last night was good, been quite awhile since i had a good laugh with a bunch of matured people (noo...i'm not saying you people are old, though basically i was the youngest one in the group hahaha). there's just something about hanging out (although it was work related hehe) with these kinda people who knows how to let loose yet still sensible enough on keeping their maturity and sanity intact people rawk :P.

anyhow, after last night's much laughter and little mayhem, i've decided to do something on my own tonight. been missing out on good movies lately and i intend on doing some catching up, so tonight will be my movie marathon night :P.

so, what do i normally do when i'm in a mood for a movie marathon? well, in my case, i look at which cinema to go to before deciding on what movie to watch. Kota Kinabalu has several cinema to choose from, and choosing the right cinema can be quite a hassle. On normal movie days, i would decide on what movie to watch and only then decide on which cinema to go to, but on a marathon day, i would consider a cinema which has more interesting movies to watch and plan the time frames for each movies :).

now, a brief explanation on the cinemas available in Kota Kinabalu (based on my own opinion):

GSC (Golden Screen Cinema) KK: One of the oldest surviving cinema around, the cinema halls are quite spacious but the seatings are a bit too crowded...not to mention the myriad of lingering smells which makes the movie watching experience a bit disheartening :).

GSC 1Borneo: Recently opened in one of Asia's biggest hypermall, the 1Borneo, this cinema is so far the best compared to the others, but only because it is relatively new. but in terms of seating arrangements, i have to say it is by far the most comfortable as it offers spacious leg spread (well, spacious than the rest hehe), no funky smells (cos it's new) and no crowded seatings. but since it is somewhat way off the town area, less people tend to avoid this place..which is great for me but bad for their business hahaha. i prefer being in a cinema with less people because...less people means less distraction hehe.

Cathay KK: Even though i like GSC 1Borneo, my all time favourite cinema is still Cathay KK. i dunno why, it's not like i have a history at this cinema or anything like it. but its quaint interior somewhat feels cosy..or homey if i may say so hehe. but there's only one thing i kinda detest...i hate crowded seats, or seats which are too close to each other and there isn't sufficient space for a satisfactory leg spread hahaha.

Growball Cinemax: Located in (i think) KK's most happening mall, the Centrepoint (which i'm still trying to figure out why..), this cinema are packed most of the time. aside from it's tight and crowded seats, i don't really fancy the crowds. basically, my observations has shown that the majority of its patrons are teenagers which has no where else to go to be seen. and their wannabe dress ups can be quite an eye sore...but i think my major problem with the place is that it's always packed!! haha.

okie, so i've assessed the movies for each cinema from and i've decided to do my marathon at..jeng jeng jeng...(yeah lame haha)...GSC 1BORNEO!!! and here are the time frames for each movie :):

1) The House Bunny (approx. 1hr 38mins) - 7.00pm
2) Disaster Movie (approx 1hr 27mins) - 8.45pm
3) My Best Friend's Girl (approx. 1hr 42mins) - 11.50pm

now, as you can see, the intervals between the first and second movie are continuous, but the third is a bit of a problem because the second movie would approximately end at 10.05pm and the next show would only start at 11.50pm, so basically there's that nearly two hours gap to fill in...damn it, now the third movie is tentative...geez hehehe.

anyhow, i do intend to have fun at the cinema ciao peeps :)

ps: anyone feels like going to the movies tonight? hehehe

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

ramblings of a tired and happy dude :)...

All these while i thought i was different, all these while i thought i was special and all these while i thought the stuff that are in my head only happens to me and no one else...the questions of life, the what and why and a whole lot more are the stuff which has been playing in my mind for as long as i can remember. well, suffice to say, i couldn't me more wrong.

apparently, we human share this commonality of trying to understand or grasp the meaning behind everything around us. the questions, simple it may seem are just few of the many difficult concept we have yet to comprehend. so, if it's that difficult, then why bother at all in getting the right answers?

well, everyone of us has this innate curiosity to know how everything works. knowing how things work gives us the insight to foretell the next course of action to take. but somethings are just not meant to be understood because it's there as part of our growth experiences and even if we try hard to get the best possible answer, who is to say that the answer is right or wrong? basically, it all comes down to us, knowing our true self and the ethics of doing the right things.

i've always been glad thinking i was different from my peers or anyone else, but as i mature, i realize that i was different because that's what i want to be and try hard as i might..i am no different than the rest of the population. so i looked back, searched within myself and asked 'what is it that i really want to do?'. the answer didn't take long to appear, all i want to do is to make a difference and hopefully bring a smile on everyone's faces..just that alone would actually bring meaning to my own not so pathetic life :)...the only set back is, i don't really know how to go about it and i want to do it on my own free time haha.

i'm not really sure if i had ever touched anyone's life throughout my own life's journey, but i can dare say that..i have been touched by nearly everyone i've gotten to know like my friends, family, strangers, those who used to be friends (haha)..yeah practically everyone i've come in contact with. they've taught me things to appreciate and the things to avoid, they've shown me the world from their own perspective and even though i am not part of their world, i can always use my power of imagination or reasoning to see things as they really are and apply it to my own perspective.

man..i'm rambling again, i just can't help it. sitting alone while having dinner at the nearby stalls right after the frisbee game gave me a chance to see the people around me; their smiles and laughters, the bonds and ties, their happiness and sadness, their clarity and confusion, emanates from within them like a silent beacon wanting to get noticed even if by strangers. but the most obvious thing that really stood out..was their appreciation for life itself. despite the challenges every human beings faces, it obviously shows that life is the only thing which keeps them going even when everything gets rough....and you know what..
SHIT HAPPENS! just learn from it hehehe

ps: now thinking of having beer while having durian hahaha. wonder how that would fare? :P

Sunday, October 26, 2008

useless fa(c)ts haha...

just got back from playing frisbee and feeling a bit dizzy probably due to the cold and being wet for playing in the rain. wouldn't be surprised if i do fall sick, but i'm not exactly complaining here because i was well aware that we might be playing in the rain and besides, i love the natural shower hehe.

anyhow, i practically froze my fats off from being exposed to the chill. i'm not kidding!! the rest of my body parts were kinda warm except for the tummy and love handles where the fats are concentrated, owh..and my butt cheeks as well (which was still cold after a very long hot steamy shower) which i presume none of you peeps would like to know hahaha.

now, what is fat? this was what i got from

fat: In mammals, fat, or adipose tissue, is deposited beneath the skin and around the internal organs, where it also protects and insulates against heat loss. Fat is a necessary, efficient source of energy. An ounce of fat contains more than twice as much stored energy as does an ounce of protein or carbohydrates and is digested more slowly, resulting in the sensation of satiety after eating. It also enhances the taste, aroma, and texture of food. Fats are made chiefly of triglycerides, each molecule of which contains three fatty acids. Dietary fat supplies humans with essential fatty acids, such as linoleic acid and linolenic acid. Fat also regulates cholesterol metabolism and is a precursor of prostaglandins

the only reason i looked into the word solely because i wanted to know why does my fats felt cold hahaha. okay, based on the explanation above (the hell with the rest of the explanation hehe), i can safely conclude that my fats doesn't serve any purpose because i get easily cold (that's why i don't like staying at hotels because of the aircond and i prefer driving with the window winded down) and it doesn't provide me with the much needed energy. it's more like an accessory...which doesn't compliment my physique at all hahaha.

i know i should try harder in searching for the best explanation on this topic or probably go into more details into it, but you know, i could if i wanted to but i won't because i don't feel like it haha. hey, you have the brains, go get the info yourself hahaha..

goodnight and ciao peeps...Happy Diwali to those who celebrates it :).

ps: man, damn dizzy, i think i am falling sick...

Lost in transition...

it has been quite awhile since i last overwhelmed myself with senseless thoughts, and it feels kinda good and freaky at the same time.

i once mentioned that i used to have a long walk or drive alone just to clear my mind off things, the solitary journey seems to be therapeutic in a sense i get to contemplate basically about anything which has been bothering me and the best part is...i've been doing this since i was 17, without anyone actually knowing it except a couple of my cousins who has seen me wandering aimlessly at the side of the road in the middle of the night when the full moon was shining haha.

yet last night was a bit different, i was subconsciously doing other words, it just happened and the worst part was, i don't remember what i was thinking and i can't exactly recall what i was feeling...

don't get me wrong, everything is going just fine with me. i wasn't depressed or anything, and i wasn't even thinking about anything depressing (the past can't really make you do anything if it's already a blur, hey..i do have a life, a familiar and better life..). it's just that, after not doing it for quite sometime..the feeling seems a bit weird, but the moment i reached home i felt very content as if everything was left at the place i stopped when i realized my mind has been wandering :).

it was 9.30pm and was on my way from my cousin's place to get myself some DVD's in Penampang. Driving back on the shortcut, i was contemplating whether to join them for the camping trip in Kota Marudu for 2 nights and that was the last thing i kinda remembered because from one thought it jumped to another and the process went on and on hehe. the realization that i had passed my house was when i was just few metres away from actually reaching the Menggatal town haha.

i'm not really sure what happened, could probably be because i was just getting familiar again with what i used to do or probably it has something to do with the rain (what can i say...i love the rain, very much :P). anyhow, i stayed up late last night watching 3 movies in a row and i'm planning to do 4 movies tonight hehe.

ps: i gain strength from being alone, wisdom from observing the people around me and grounded by the people i call friends..:). nah, i won't be joining in the camping trip..might as well spend my weekend trying to finish watching all the DVD's hahaha

Thursday, October 23, 2008

just a midday sluggish rambling...

Being alive, especially for humans, require many things aside from the basic necessities such as food, clothes and shelter to survive. the intrinsic and extrinsic aspects which drives every humans in their way of thinking, behaviours and actions has to be in line with their surroundings or current situations in order for things to flow smoothly and efficiently.

after years of evolution, we humans are blessed with the cognitive ability to resolve anything presented to us and act on it on our own volition. but for us to take action on what has been decided, there's that process of 'decision making' to decide the best solution to every problem, and the most common approach everyone might opt for is the 'right thing to do' perspective.

Sometimes i wonder, well, mostly confused between the notions of 'doing the right thing' and 'the right thing to do'. for most, it may sound a way it is, but if we are to observe closely, we may be able to tell both of it connote different meanings.

The right thing to do:-
a simple approach based on the basic obvious solution, i.e societal norms, the written law or the understanding of what is right and what is wrong without taking into account the 'what if' or 'maybe' circumstances.

Doing the right thing:-
involves the intrinsic aspect of how we perceive the other possibilities or the what would and could have other words, the gut feeling which dictates what should be done.

let me give you a scenario here, what would you do if one day you found out that a big and kind hearted person who has been involved with so many good works throughout the years was actually an escaped convict wanted for murder? would you turn them in to the authorities or just leave it as it is since the person is more useful to the outside world than locked up in a cell?Obviously, the right thing to do here is to surrender him to the authorities. but if we were to do that, we would lose a person who has made a difference to the lives of many people.

okay, the above scenario has nothing to do with me hahaha. it's just that, i've been contemplating on the decision i made a couple of months ago and wondering if what i decided was right or the other way around because, the decision 'seemed' like the right solution but deep still feels like a big mistake and the weird thing is, i don't want it to be right haha. but how can it not be right when the decision was made during those rare moments of clarity :). anyhow, seems like things are working out like the way it should i guess my decision was right after all :).

Ciao peeps...

ps: okie, gonna stop the nonsensical rambling now. just darn sleepy.....and in need of a holiday, away from here...sheeeshhhh....

Friday, October 17, 2008

non-comical stuff...

really wasn't in the mood to aside from taking random pictures around, this was what i did :)..

yeah is kinda lame, but what can i say. i dont have a single funny bone in me :). besides, was just trying it out hehe..

ciao peeps :)

Top 20 - Tagged by Joan...

Here we go again.I've been tagged by Joan

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
- in October...dont ask when?

2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
- Subjective question, hard to answer

3. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat?
- too late for that haha

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
- yeah..becoming a billionaire haha

5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
- Depending on where i am :P

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
-hmmm...cant think of any right now

7. What do you feel like doing right now?
-i need a long break...

8. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
- definitely...

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
-smart and physically cute haha

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
- hmm...being loved in return haha

11. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
- sleeping with someone else? hehehe

12. What is your ambition?
- like now? :p

13. Is anyone really perfect?
- nope..but there's a beauty in imperfection :)

14. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick ?
- i would be a happily rich guy haha

15. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
- my idiocy :P

16. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
-the one and only...ME :P

17. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
- haha, happy?

18. If someone had found a path to immortality to be bestowed upon you in exchange for one of your abilities, would you take it, and what would you sacrifice for it?
- probably..which means i would have to sacrifice my mortality hahaha

19. What is the best thing that had happened in your life?
- that brief moment of happiness..

20. If could compete in the Olympics, what event would you participate in?
- archery or skeet shooting hahaha (i dont even play these games!!) haha

ps: 1 down, 2 more to go hahaha

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Just Stand Up....

okay, i'm a sucker when it comes to songs sung by various artistes haha. i'm not really sure why..could probably be because of the group synergy and the voice projections from each and everyone of them in their own unique and signature styles :). anyhow, i kinda like this song...not because of its catchy tune (interesting yes, but not the least catchy), but because of the motive behind the stand up against cancer.

cancer is a disease not to be joked can be deadly and anyone can get it without ever knowing... that is until it has progressed into something critical.

research has shown that cancer can be hereditary, and i am not ashamed to admit both sides of my family has a history of cancer and i wouldn't be surprised if one day (touch wood) i would be diagnosed as having one as well haha. but seriously...even before knowing what the disease really is (and even before i started smoking hehe), i've always imagined that if i were to live until old age there would be only three types of ailments which may take away my life..cancer, heart failure and kidney failure hahaha :). will talk about this someday because the entry this time is about a song for us to stand up against cancer hehe. so listen, enjoy and do take note :).

JUST STAND UP! - Artists Stand Up To Cancer - video powered by Metacafe

Beyonce: The heart is stronger than you think
It's like it can go through anything
And even when you think it can't it finds a way to still push on, though

Carrie: Sometimes you want to run away
Ain't got the patience for the pain
And if you don't believe it look into
Your heart the beat goes on

Rihanna: I'm tellin' you that
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up

Sheryl: Don't you know you can go be your own miracle

Beyonce: You need to know

Sheryl: If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up

Sheryl/Beyonce: Who are we to be
Questioning, wondering what is what
Don't give up

Fergie: It's like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face

Leona: Just because you go through it

Fergie: Don't mean it got to take control, no

Leona: You ain't gotta find no hiding place

Keyshia: Because the heart can beat the hate

Leona: Don't wanna let your mind keep playin' you

Keyshia: And sayin' you can't go on

Rihanna: I'm tellin' you that

Miley: Things get better
Through whatever

Rihanna: If you fall

Miley: Dust if off, don't let up

LeAnn: Don't you know you

Natasha: Can go

LeAnn: Be your own

Natasha: Miracle

Carrie: You need to know

Ensemble: CHORUS

Mary: You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind

Ciara: If you fall, dust it off

Mary: You can live your life

Rihanna/Carrie: Yeah

Mary: Let your heart be your guide

Rihanna/Carrie: Yeah yeah yeah

Mariah: And you will know that you're good if you trust in the good

Ashanti: Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart

Mary: And it will get better

Mariah: Through whatever


Fergie: You got it in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
Find it within you, find it within

ps: when our time has come, there isn't much we can do about it because life and death isn't in our hands :)

goodnite peeps...ciao :)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


One thing about humans is that they have the capability to change, a change which encompassess everything from the way they look to their actions. And some changes can be mind blowing depending on the degree of alterations, and these alterations varies accordingly :).

As such the level of changes, the time it takes for one person to change vary according to the individuals themselves..but one thing for sure, no one can change in just one night, and that's a fact! But why do people change? what triggers them to make a difference in their life? there're a number of reasons to it, and it all comes down to..self preservation :).

As we go along living, we may have encountered several scenarios and experiences which may be an eye opener for us to make a change. and based on experience, a single minute change can make a big difference to ourselves and the people around us. but any change that we decide to take are not without consequences or sacrifices because change itself is an act of give and take, so to gain something..we must be ready to lose something in return.

so what does change actually entails. for starters, change enables us to be noticed and change brings about a difference in lifestyle. and there are only two types of changes, a change for the better or..a change for the worse. it's all up to the individual to choose which one is which..depending on the impact of their current situation. so unless they clear up their head real quick, a change for the worse is bound to happen and that is never a good thing.

but sometimes, as much as we want a change..most of us doesn't have a single clue on how to go about it. all that's left are just words which keeps repeating itself and baseless hopes that change would eventually happen. but changes just doesn't happen by itself, we need to work for it. so when someone tells you that they want to change but they're just sitting around doing nothing, it only shows that those are just words of false encouragement to themselves and in a way reflects what kind of person they are (yeah, basically an idiotic dreamer who says only what others wanna hear..and i think i maybe one of them hehe).

i've been doing some changes myself for the past many weeks, it was kinda difficult at first but as they steps are always the best way to kick off anything and that's exactly what i did. so now, i am living my life free from the earthly vices and mortal desires (well, except for the ciggies and the booze..which i have cut down tremendously hehe), including many other stuff and free to do whatever i want (within the boundary lah) without having to think about anything complicated. and i am relying on my instinct and exceptionally good reasoning ability to avoid complications and confrontations in the future hahaha.

ps: one day should you feel like in need of a change, act on it! the change for the good or for the worse is in your hands :)

ciao and goodnight peeps :)....

groggy in control hahaha

sometimes i think i am a walking contradiction of myself. i say things that i am not only to prove myself stupid that i am haha...but when i say sometimes, it only means it doesn't happen quite as often i thought :P..

for example, i've always believed (or probably convinced myself) that i am a loner, a guy who prefers his solitude more than anything else, an independent guy who doesn't rely much on anyone to live life. well, most of it are true..and the rest are just my confused psyche interpreting the things i couldn't understand :).

okie i've said in my previous entry that i am a loner by choice and an observer of everyone and everything around me. sometimes it's sad to know that my preference irks some people into baseless assumptions haha. once again, i dont really mind..because when i do make friends, i try to project who i really am so the next time if things doesn't work out, i can always tell myself that 'ive' given them hints on what type of person i am' (most of the time that is hehe) and some do understand it, while others are..simply put..plain sensitive hehehe.

i've been analyzing myself lately and realized that, as much as i appreciate my privacy or reclusiveness, there are moments that i do need someone around to pull me back to reality (a reality which i'd much rather not be apart of haha) because the world i envisioned, or practically saying 'my world', is much more tolerable. hey, i'm not saying that my life in real time sucks (hmm, not entirely though hehe), but it's whole lot better because in my world..i am invincible and void of any vulnerabilities (yeah, a Superman except there aren't any kryptonites that can weaken me haha).

as i was saying, there are moments when i do need people around me..but if i was given any choice, i dont think i could ever be lonely even if i wanted to simply because i live in an overpopulated world of humans and as long as there are humans around i could never be alone :).

the same concept applies to the people whom i'd like to avoid from seeing or meeting. it's like, it doesn't matter how hard you've tried to avoid them, but there will come a time (eventually) when we would have to face them whether we like it or not and all the efforts of trying to stay away from are simply washed down the drain.

now the question here is, after indulging yourself with something you really like doing, something which might guarantee from stumbling on the person/s suddenly took a turn when the person/s are suddenly indulging themselves in the same thing? would you run away and move on to another thing or stick to it because you really like doing what you're doing now? well, the solution is especially hard to get when the person/s, knows full well that you're part of the thing but still decides to join in...

probably selfish and ego plays a part, or probably some dark ulterior motives are at work here haha. then again, that's something about humans aka people. they tend to be pretentious in geting what they want. it's quite difficult to fathom another person's mind because they may act and say one thing but the fact is, there's something they're after. heck, then again..what the hell do i care...if this happens to me, i would just opt to ignore or just move somewhere else.

haha, i bet most of you must be wondering where do i get all the pessimism from. hmm, how do i put this...well, i am human after all, and with that comes years of social experience hehe. but mind you, i am much of a pessimist as i am an optimist :).

ps: selfishness and ulterior motives sucks hehe. some people just doesn't know what it takes to make friends..hehe. man...midnight rambling on a Tuesday? yeah, that's what happens when you let the creativity flow and grogginess take control hahahaha.

goodnite peeps, and have a good dream...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

the Cupid Shuffle...

"Brown and offensive linemen Vernon Carey and Ikechuku Ndukwe were fined as a result of their part in a prohibited 'choreographed celebration' that included more than two people. Each player was hit with a $10,000 penalty by the NFL, according to league representative Corry Rush." - Miami Herald, October 12, 2008

i normally couldn't be bothered with stuff like these, but being a curious cat (as always hahaha), i decided to look up on the so called 'choreographed celebration' aka the Cupid Shuffle and was just plain dumbfounded why would the NFL fine the players on the field after the touchdown?!! hahaha. i mean, what's the harm in doin the shuffle?!! :).

anyhow, the moves are kinda cute and easy to learn. hey, probably, with enough exposure, the Sabahans now has a new move to learn if they ever get bored of the poco-poco dance hahaha. well, enjoy the clip hahaha...

ps: i doubt this would ever make it in Sabah clubs scene :)..

Thursday, October 9, 2008

paternal bond...

Been up and working since 4am this morning and it would be strange if i wasn't the least grumpy. but a kid made my day for just being there and for asking a flattering question, a question i would've never considered nor expected from anyone especially from this kid :).

The paternal bond was instantaneous, we laughed, had fun and i was carrying him around like he was my own kid. then the question appeared, whispered softly in my ear while having him in my arms, 'can you marry my mom?' and looked me straight in the eye. i was dumbfounded for awhile and laughed at it as a 5 year old's innocent rambling, but it did strike a chord in me of how prepared i am to settle down :).

next time when i do have a son of my own, i want him to be exactly like the kid :)...
ps: damn sleepy and missing the little guy :)

Monday, October 6, 2008

just plain glad and happy :)...

the past three days has both been a blessing and a mockery of my own life. it's a blessing cos i've seen friends either got engaged or married, a blessing cos i was surrounded by people who knows that being an arse is just my way of being ignorant (and i'm still loved for it haha) but most of all..a blessing cos i am finally close to being clear headed :). had a good time at Jade last friday and made new acquaintances at the same time, had a good stay over at Lembah Impian the next night which included great casual conversations and laughters together with liquors, and a beautiful wedding reception the day after hehe. frankly speaking, i like the way i am now hehe...less clutter in my head :).

i've looked at what i did for the past year and recently and i realized there were a lot of stuff i wasn't proud of doing...especially my last rendezvous, good thing it only happened like twice or thrice (well, third's the charm hehe) and ever since then, i've may i put it hmm..clean hahaha. heck, after a month of free from vice, there would probably be a slot for me in heaven if my time was suddenly up :).

another blessing from what may be the worst experience of my life (so far) would be the fact that i now know what the others would be or are going through having being in the same situation previously. although i can't really tell anyone the best course of action to take cos my advisory skills hasn't been completely restored yet, do know that..some things do happen for a reason and there's always that silver lining waiting to shine through when the chance presents itself...just bear with it (no matter how long) cos all the sucky feelings would eventually dissapear. and there's no harm in crying, it actually helps alot (aside from ignoring the root of the problem and hanging out with the people who would truly appreciate you haha). let anger and hate take over, it's much better to be pissed off at insignificant things than crying over spilled milk cos some people are meant to be hated for their actions hahaha. anyhow, enough about this..we just have to accept that some people are just idiots who doesn't deserve anything for repeating the same mistakes over and over again thinking that they would always get scot free with it..well, there's always that karmic retribution remember hahaha.

anyhow, the people around me are getting hitched...and i can't help but wanting the same thing they have. I WANT A FAMILY TOO!! hehe, but it's a bit difficult to have one when just the thought of being in a relationship after the terrible storm doesn't sound like a good idea hahaha.

you know what peeps, i love my life..and i especially love those people who brought colours to my life such as mi familia and mi amigos haha. i'm just glad that, after all the efforts of being ignorant and trying to keep things behind, good things are finally looking up to me hehehe...

ps: remember this...ignorance can be a total bliss...:)

goodnite and ciao peeps..may you have a good week ahead of you :).

Friday, October 3, 2008

in appreciation...

September has ended and October is in for a new slate and cleaner chapter after months of beating myself up for reasons easily dealt with. before i go on any further, let me remind you that this is NOT supposed to be a sappy entry hehe.

when i made my decision couple of months back on how to deal with the trying situations, it wasn't entirely based on what i was feeling then, but more to assessing the present and compare it to what may come in the future or in other words, applying what i know then and weigh it against with what i may have to face :). yeah, in layman's all about practicality and rationality.

it's relatively easy when it comes to making decisions based on rationality, but rationale can sometimes be blurred by other underlying factor such as emotions, making what may be a simple and solvable task into something the opposite :).

one thing i'm grateful of is having the people i can really call my friends. fyi, i don't normally acknowledge people i just got to know as friends, cos for me, friendship takes time to bond and most of all trust..and trusting people is an issue for me :).

but eventually some of these people i do finally accept as a friend, and it's not because of 'what' they are, but mainly 'who' they are, and when i say generally relates to what kind of persons they are :). then again, i've conditioned myself to notice the type of people who would get along well with me cos my only motto when it comes to making friends is that 'if you can't accept me for who i am, even when i'm such an ass...then there's no point for us to even be acquainted. in some cases, the time factor doesn't apply to some people cos there would be a time when we meet someone, a spontaneous link is formed.

anyhow, what i was trying to say is that, i'm not someone whom you might say 'a person who has a lot of friends' hahaha, that would be far from the truth cos although i am mostly surrounded by great people, but among these great people, only a handful of them are worthy of my respect and these people are the ones i really don't mind hanging out with. but even so, i don't need to meet up with them all the time (or everyday) cos come's not like i'm married to them hahaha.

so to the people that i hang out with, the people that i look for when ever in need of company, the people who would be there whenever i invite them over for any occasions and vice versa... you are the people i call friends and the entry this time is my appreciation to every one of you cos with or without you realising it, you have given me the insights on how to deal with my own demons. i would extend my appreciations personally but unfortunately, my inflated ego prohibits me from doing so or else i would feel indebted to you peeps hahaha.

ps: friends is more than hanging out together and having a great time, it's about understanding and respecting each other's need, cheering them up when they're down and most of all, accepting them for who they really are (even when they're being an ass hahaha). who needs more friends when there're these great people who will always be there for you :). mis mas efusivas gracias amigos, you peeps know who you are :).

Monday, September 29, 2008

the HOT date hahaha

things i learned from my hot date:

a) true love doesn't really exist..
b) getting over someone is just like passing through hell on earth
c) some people can be jerks...
d) when you love someone..the feeling stays with you for a very long time
e) i think i am better off with the way i am commitments, and no strings attached...

ps: am slightly over tipsy, and trying hard to be rational :).. feelings are just crap. there's no point to think about anyone when you don't even matter... hahaha. how stupid can a person be hehehe.

the lone brick is getting tougher :P....

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wacky WEDnesday...

one of those weird days where someone sees me as someone i'm not :)...

'are you Chinese?'


'what are you?'

'a sino..'

'owh, do you speak Chinese?'

'hmm..not really..'

'do you speak Dusun then?'

'hahaha, nooo' (laughing moderately..)

said something in Dusun which, after translation says 'it's a waste not being able to speak either language'

'yeah, well..too bad', replying with a smile which actually showed the gritted teeth. frankly, that wasn't bad at all, but the cherry on the topping would be:

'you know what, you should join MANHUNT'

laughing out loud (professionalism doesn't apply in this situation, the hell with what my boss thought of it haha), i responded 'i'll pass..'

'no, you should..or better yet, you could represent your company'

another laughter followed, 'hahahaha, the only time you will see me parading on stage is when i have my six packs hahaha'...

'well, think about it' and the guy kept on smiling...

didn't stay long with them though, decided to split as i didn't like how the conversation started and where it was heading :).

you might be wondering who these people are, well..they're from one of the modeling agency in town. been dealing with them for the past few days cos we needed some talents for the resort photoshoot which will kickoff in October. would've stayed and actually take part in the discussion if it weren't for the bad start hahaha.

after discussion was over, the boss walked into the office and started giggling. only after she got tired of the meaningless giggles did she explain how the scout insisted that she should get me to join the 'beauty pageant' hahaha. but come to think of it, prior to meeting up with him, a similar incident happened. while we were discussing about the talents they have on hand, he suddenly asked me if i wanted to model which my reply would of course be a big no no haha, but he continued and asked me how tall was i and i told him i was about 5ft 7inch (honestly speaking, i dont even know my own height, but i know i'm taller than what i said haha. well, my vanity has it's limit :P) and one question led to another until i felt queasy and changed the topic into something more work related haha.... anyhow, not exactly complaining cos he actually made my day. being complimented out of the blue can somehow boost the confidence and yeah, be more self consciousness hehe...

ps: dont worry peeps, i wont be gracing any cover magazines..EVER hahaha. hmm, magazines for fat guys probably? hehehe. owh and for those of you out there who thinks they have what it takes to be a model..just drop me a line and i'll steer you to that agency :).

ciao and goodnight has to be one of my tiring and wacky days...:)

you don't wanna be reading this hehehe :P..

a colleague and i had a short discussion on a topic everyone might be interested in...'SEX' hahaha. i normally wouldn't talk about this in public or give into lengthy details either, but today, i just felt like loosening up hehehe.

we were looking at pictures taken by Louise Pang here at our resort and one of the picture is a couple embracing each other on the beach..kissing..and she blurted out 'lucah' which means obscene. i wasn't pissed off or anything when i heard the remark, but i retaliated by saying 'if you think this is obscene, then you must think sex is as well'..

'yeah, sex is obscene'

'no, it's only obscene if you think it is'

'no, sex is obscene but not love making'

'what's the difference lah?'
i said, and she gave out this explanation in relation to human emotion..duh hahaha, which i then replied 'yes i agree, but putting aside those lovey dovey factor, love making and sex still requires two people performing coitus, or simlpy saying two naked people enjoying each others' warmth and you know..satisfaction/s hahaha' (yeah, i did laugh at my own answer reply hehe). she didn't reply though, probably because she knew i could get her at anything she throws at me hahaha.

the only reason i wanted to defend the picture was because i find it kinda romantic, (hey, i can be romantic aa hehe) stimulating but most of all, envious haha. yeah, i dont think i would have the guts to do it in public :P.

anyhow, i don't blame her for having that perception cos i once looked at it the same way (that was like ages ago!! hehe) and i do understand what she meant when she said 'sex is only to be acted with the one person which matters the most' (a bit subjective right, one person could perceive everyone as the 'one' depending on their attributes..that's why affairs and monogamy exists).

now, there is a difference with having sex with an acquaintance, a stranger and with someone we really care the most:

a)the acquaintance/s
- casual sex, no feeling involved and after each session, we'd like to zip it up and make record of the statistics hehehe.

b) the stranger/s
- no feeling's involved, wild but most of the time, it would turn out to be a great session hahaha..

c) the 'one'
- passionate, slow, and damn satisfying compared to any other sessions. and the best part is the after sex chat and cuddling hehehe.

there's also the break-up sex, make-up sex and the less known get-over sex. the break up and make up sex usually walks hand in hand and the get-over sex is a separate entity. the only reason someone goes for the latter is only because they need to have something which could override the best thing they once had..and to have someone to hold on to even if it's just sex haha.

now, there're pros and cons to this 'get-over sex':

pros - good for ego, sex is better cos you don't seem to care much about anything but your own satisfaction, they would look for you over and over again for the great service provided hahaha

cons - they start being clingy, and only look for you for whenever they feel like being raunchy haha. bout' that, another lesson in sin from an idiot hehe

ps: i think i was lucky enough to have analyzed and noticed the situation earlier..or else i would be stuck in something difficult to get away from :). and if anyone of you thinks that being promiscous or sleeping around according to your whim is a great experience..think again peeps. it's no fun at all, trust me :)..

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

sadly, i am human after all...

tired..just plain tired. woke up quite early than the usual norm and instead of the 9 to 5 working hours i signed up for when i first joined the company, i ended up working till 8pm and the sad thing is, this isn't the first (welcome to the life of a Hotelier hehe) :).

not exactly complaining here, but sometimes there are moments when the steam need to be let out and this is exactly what i'm doing..letting go of some steam hahaha. come to think of it, i kinda like staying back late at work, partly because i dont exactly have anything much to look forward to or to do when i do reach home early. yeah, there was a time when getting home on time was the only thing i could ever think about, but that's all in the past...before i was listed as one of the eligible bachelors around hahaha. honestly speaking, i do miss those moments..moments when nothing else really mattered but that one person :).

anyhow, my entry this time isn't about self pity, heck, i love staying back late at work really does help take the mind of things (aside from having a personal blog to blurt everything out whenever i feel like it haha). what i'm trying to say here is that, there are times when staying back is much more meaningful and physically and mentally today :).

tonight, the hotel organized a 'Buka Puasa' session for the orphans from Yayasan Kebajikan Suria. Actually, we've been doing this year after year and the great part is...i never do get bored being apart of it, well..not only this, but any other charity related events we organize, especially when it involves children :).

the first time i took part in this buka puasa activity, i practically cried inside. can't really explain why i did, but when the children took my right hand (which i thought it was only gonna be a shake) and lightly put it on their forehead (all the children were Muslim and i think this is their way of showing respect to their elders), something inside just melted away, imagine how difficult it was for me to contain what i was feeling with over 50 kids doing the same thing over and over again.

the sadness wasn't really out of pity, it was more like putting myself in their shoes and imagining what it would be like if i were them. and there's that longing in their eyes which doesn't exactly yell out 'why do i have to be an orphan!?' but more like, 'if i grow up..i wanna make a difference'. the fact that they somewhat lack that certain self confidence which makes them dependent on the rest of their other fostered siblings wasn't much of a help in putting my emotion at ease :).

there was a time when my boss and I visited the orphanage to send over the extra pastries our pastry chef accidentally baked and no one really knew what to do with it. the moment our car came into their driveway, all eyes were fixed on us as if wondering what were we doing at their place. i smiled at them only to be responded with an uncertain smile, but soon as we took the pastries out from our car, all the children insisted on giving us a helping hand and their uncertainty turned into friendly familial actions. no, they weren't being nice cos we brought them something hahaha, but more like we weren't a threat to their established lifestyle :).

i had a good time with them, we were actually having fun with each other..and the kids kinda liked me (not to brag, but i think most kids would fall in love with me immediately. pretty sure that's one of my greatest strength ever). when it was time for us to leave, the children lined up and started doing the hand gestures again..i didn't wanna leave, i wanted to stay and spend more time with them if i didn't have other commitments to attend to, damn it. until now, i am still trying to find a good reason for me to spend more time at the orphanage and get to know the children alot better.

i'm not saying i'm a guy with a big heart, cos i damn well know i'm not. i just wanna point out that, despite my stoic appearance..i do care, well, some if not more about certain stuff and i try to help out if it's within my capabilities :). i know i am placed here on earth to do something, and i'm still trying to figure it out :).

there will be another charity even going on in December and am looking forward to that day :).

ps: i love children and i love charity, but instead of thinking of it as charity, i'd much rather think of it as a responsibility towards other human beings. so if anyone of you who has any plans of doing charity works, especially which involves children, do count me in..seriously (people think i am kidding whenever i tell them this...idiots haha).

Monday, September 22, 2008

monday..again haha

It's Monday peeps, and you know what that means...MONDAY BLUES!!! arrgghhh...(just felt like being dramatic today hahaha).

so, for the past two days, i've been off from consuming any alcohols and surprisingly..ciggies :). thought of continuing the effort to quit smoking but the moment i stepped into the office and sat at my desk, my stress level suddenly rose and i couldn't think of anything else but smoke hehe.

anyhow, my foot is getting better. been disciplined enough to stay at home and just lounge around, well..not only my foot, but i think i was well rested as well :).

anyhow, that's my update for today. HAPPY MONDAY and okaerinasai...:)

Saturday, September 20, 2008


Sooo...what exactly did i do today? practically nothing!! hahaha. Took my replacement off day today (coincidental timing) as i needed to relax and let my foot rest (yeah, sprained my ankle playing with the gidiots hahaha). Would've slept earlier last night but i got hooked with a book i need to finish reading it for a good night's sleep hahaha (see..i am still a geek haha). anyhow, i am quite glad i slept kinda late last night, cos i slept till noon time..something i havent been doing for a very long time :P.

anyhow, the moment i woke up..i switched on the TV, flicked the channel to STARWORLD and incidentally, Reaper was playing. okay, i'm one of those geeks who is easily captivated with shows which has special effects elements and mind you, i think Reaper would be the next best thing after Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (aaaahhh, the other side of me you peeps didn't know eh hahaha), although i am still waiting for a good sci-fi shows as well which is on par with Andromeda, Stargate-1, Earth- Final Conflict, Farscape etc etc :P (yeah, and i'm also one of those people who thinks there might be intelligent life out there other than us..the pathetic humans hehehe).

I liked Reaper..and i kinda regretted having flicked the remote to another channel after the show was over cos the moment i changed the channel, the remote ran out of battery hahaha. guess what was on..the FIG Gymnastics Tournament (which i didn't even know existed!!), there's just something wrong with seeing guys in tight and short lycra prancing around on stage like little ballerinas with a huge smile pasted on their their face. it's like watching cheerleading with bulge and without boobs hahaha. but, i must say that their agility and flexibility is very astounding :)...

fyi, i haven't been smoking since 12am today..and i'm craving for one. there's an un-opened pack in my room but will only open it if i really can't contain the craving much longer hehehe (see, i do lead an interesting life hahaha..

ciao peeps :)

ps: it's saturday night and i should be out enjoying myself, instead i'm at home much more pathetic can my life be? hahahaha

Thursday, September 18, 2008

the incomplete wall...

imagine a wall, a sturdy wall which has been built along the years...a wall without any cracks and a perfect barrier from any invaders...

then one fine day, the wall fell apart because one insignificant brick wanted to see more of what's on the other side of the crumbled slowly at first before all of it came crashing down and the only thing that's left is the base which once held everything together. imagine that..a wall which practically took a lifetime to build was destroyed in just a short time.

after much struggle of trying to rebuild what was destroyed, each brick finally came together to form the once proud protective barrier, but something is just isn't right. even with the new and improved form, there's that same brick which keeps falling down as if saying 'there might still be hope cos once i do decide to be in place, all will be lost for good'...

so there lay the brick on the ground, losing hope as days go by. it's just a matter of time until the brick settles in its place and the wall is finally complete.. and nothing else can get through ever again, creating a world of total bliss in pure ignorance and a perfect barrier from the harsh reality of the other side of the wall...

for the time being, the incomplete wall would have to wait patiently and look down with mixed emotions at the solitary brick until it finally decides to return and fill up the gaping hole...

until then...there's still hope...

ps: wat can i say...i just think too much hahaha

ciao peeps..and goodnight...

Monday, September 15, 2008


guess what...i just realized that.....

PRETENDING TO BE BUSY IS NO EASY TASK! DAMN IT... especially when you're always looking at the time and wishing it's already 5pm. maybe i should be at Langkah Syabas with the beautiful gidiots hehehe....

now, that feels alot better hahahaha..

Happy Independence day to all Sabahans :). ciao...and have fun where ever you are and whatever you do (who am i kidding, it's a holiday're definitely having fun and that includes the rest of the week hahaha..:)).

ciao peeps :)

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Raja Petra...again?...

I was reading the news this morning when i stumbled on an article of Raja Petra's arrest for his articles in Malaysian Today.

One thing that every press should know is that, everyone has that innate curiousity which drives them to know and learn stuff, and the drive gets stronger when something is sensationalized. so my entry this time, i'm blaming it on the media :).

Headline: Raja Petra Detained Under ISA

Date: September 13, 2008

KUALA LUMPUR: bla bla bla (not gonna include the entire article out hahaha)...
'He reportedly incited Muslims on the article " (a) I Promise To Be A Good Non-Hypocritical Muslim" which contained sentences that ridiculed Muslims besides allowing a commentary on which ridiculed Islam and Prophet Muhammad with references to the article " (b) Not All Arabs Are Descendants Of The Prophet" published in the Malaysia Today blog'.....

Okay, personally..i don't like getting involved in politics (i don't even like politics haha!!), but the only thing that struck me most about his arrest is the fact that he was just voicing out his own point of view..then again, we're not living in a fully democratic country. so one little bug got crushed cos he was being a nuisance to the major league beetles hahaha.

Put it this way, i am glad that there are laws and legislations which keeps everything in peace and order, but someone once told me that these laws and regulations are also the reason behind all the reported crimes and wrongdoings, in a twisted is kind of logical when we think about it hahaha. take speeding for example, we won't get any speeding summonses if there weren't any speeding regulations hehehe.

anyhow, back To Raja Petra's articles. yeah, i read through both articles and honestly saying...i didn't see any faults to what he said. take article (a) for example, everything which was written (except for the part where he quoted PKR's opposition leader's statement) has some truths to it (okay, i don't like to talk about religion as well, especially when it comes to comparing them and i do not condone blaspheming other religion whether it's your own or others). all he did was pointing out the obvious facts. i bet most readers must've overlooked this paragraph:

"Yes, there are good Muslims and bad Muslims, there are also good people of other religion and bad people of the other religions" - Raja Petra

i bet what he was trying to say is that, "for a country to be great, our leaders must first be out of their conservative mindset and for once think outside the box. be ready to accept comments and rely on them for better changes instead of using whatever is applicable to maintain the status quo. do not hide behind religion and race on the pretext of being superior than the others".

as for his second article (b), honestly..all i can think of... it's a good fun read!! haha. it depends on the readers whether to believe it or not, besides, it does provide a good sense of reasonable doubts on the Altantuya case hehe. but in regards to the title, i did not see any so called 'commentary on which ridiculed Islam and Prophet Muhammad' . i think the title was meant to ridicule the (my thoughts on Raja Petra's perception) two faced lying Datuk Syed,...or i may be wrong hahaha.

honestly, i have yet to grasp the shallow mentality our society has when it comes to stepping out of the conservative side. they're so comfortable with where they are now that change seems to bother them a lot. People, it's time for everyone to grow up and open your minds to the many possibilities there are out there. accept change wholeheartedly and accept the good which comes with it, and yes...negative aspects may emerge from the change, but no worries, it's normal. show me anything which doesn't have to go through the rough patches when paving ways for something new and i will agree with you that we should stay just the way we are for the next decades :).

ps: hahaha, somebody's a bit grumpy this morning..damn it like this is no way to start a day :). and to all the media, thanks for providing us the titles to the articles hahaha

Friday, September 12, 2008

friday morning nonsense hahaha

Your EQ is 127

You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.

On an average day, you're quite happy, together, and content. You live your life well.

Your emotions aren't always stable, but you can go along with the ups and downs pretty well.

You tend to be motivated, energetic, focused, and level headed.

You see the world pretty rationally, and you don't tend to over dramatize things. When things are bad, you know they eventually have to get better.

okay, this is something i grabbed from Claire's blog. didn't have anything better to do in the office so i decided to try out the EQ thingy hahaha. well, the decriptions are more or less accurate. waddya know, i am an optimistic person...damn it!! (yeah right, somebody slap me with a slipper haha).

ps: look at the icon above, it does look a lil' bit like me doesn't it? (yeah, dream on. where are the slippers asked earlier? hahaha)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Jeremy is.....

....currently feeling a bit drowsy like he just came out from the ocean with the salt water still lodged somewhere in his head and throat so parched and lips so dry he could've been diagnosed as being extremely dehydrated :P....

ps: damn it, throbbing headaches sucks!! might probably grab a book before hitting the sack early..hmmm :). and this just in: 'berkuatkuasa serta-merta, sekatan ke atas semua blog dan laman web di tarik balik'. there might be an ulterior motive here, so wait for the news tomorrow hehehe.

a water lover and natural born swimmer with a phobia of deep and colored waters...STOP STARING AT MY FAT!!! hahaha

goodnite peeps :)...

vanity in sports muahahahaha

aside from the ultimate frisbee practice i join every weekend, it's been quite sometime since i last did any actual sports hehe, and last night's activity was, how may i say it, could be an addictive game hahaha. yeah, i had fun and i think i would stick to it. then again, that's what i've said on most of the other sports i dabbled in hahaha.

but honestly, i think i have a knack when it comes to racquet games (contrary to what Mel said about guys being good at anything which involves whacking stuff hahaha) or any hand related sports haha. i can be better in badminton if i hadn't stopped playing donkey years ago, i could be good in tennis if i had someone to coach me and the same can be said for squash hahaha. read me right, am now learning to play squash courtesy of ms. Mel and ms. Yo hahaha.

i think playing sports runs in my family. my dad used to be extremely active in sports and all my other sisters seem to have picked up his athletic abilities. he played practically everything like football, tennis, badminton, squash, snooker, bowling, etc. yeah, everyone was a sportsman and woman except for me and my mom haha, and all these while i thought i just didnt have what it takes to be one :p.

apparently, i was a late bloomer (or maybe i was suffering from some kind of inferiority complex thingy haha). i only picked up sports in college and i must say, i've been doing fairly well since then hehe (well, obviously not at the present moment haha).

anyhow, the new racquet games that i've tried out this year (tennis and currently squash) isn't that difficult to comprehend, this may sound strange..but i think i remember how people play the games from looking at my dad play way back when i was still a kid (okay..more like a toddler haha) and listening to comments wether it was directed at me or someone else. probably those times looking at my dad having fun at the court made an impression on me, which in the course of growing up was suppressed until i was actually ready to explore my latent talents hidden within haha.

sadly enough, i never got interested in football. i remember playing that game in P.E class back in primary school and when i was on duty during one of our Red-Crescent Co-Cum activity, i saw a kid got kicked right above his right eye and he was bleeding all over. no..i wasn't afraid at the sight of blood, but the thought of the same thing or worse happening to me was just too heavy for me to digest hahaha. since then, i've had this mental block on football :p.

ps: the next game i'm thinking of picking up is golf. maybe i should continue my dad's legacy of being a golfer hehehe..just you wait :p...

ciao peeps :P