animal cruelty..again...

'i would sell my soul to the devil if it means obtaining powers to punish those who:

a) tortures, abuses and kills animals without mercy
b) tortures, abuses and kills other humans without justification or mercy

and yes, i am serious....

my priority would be on (a) simply because we have laws on (b) to protect human beings.

i miss the days when i am ignorant and sheltered by the harsh realities of life and i miss seeing the innocence in every humans that i encounter. but that's just part of living and growing up, we have to accept that things change, most of the time, and not the way we want them to be.

while some changes can be good, others can be detrimental to an individual and societal structure and ignoring the things which needs changing can give off the same effect as well. take murder for example, should there be no stringent laws as a remedy to future occurrences, killings would be prevalent and all humans would distrust each other...well okay, trusting people nowadays isn't the same as how it was decades ago, but can you imagine if there are no laws to curb the atrocious act?

as humans, we are protected by laws which dictates our safety and security, but shouldn't we extend the same protection to the other weaker beings...like animals?

in this year alone, there have been reports of animal cruelties and some of the highlighted ones are:

a) The abused Sushi the poodle
--->> watch video HERE
--->> and news report HERE
--->> for the facebook page alleging the culprits, click HERE (I mean, the resemblance and identifiable mark is there, how difficult is it to nail or investigate Allan Tan and Doreen Loo as the alleged perpetrators??)
--->> interesting feed HERE
the charge: NONE as far as i know, couldn't find any articles on their charges.

b) the Serdang Cat Killer (stupid bitch Chow Siow Wei)
--->> watch the CCTV recording HERE [Note: not for the faint of heart]
the charge: a maximum fine of RM400

c) Misc
-->> click HERE

d) and the latest one is at PetKnode Boarding house in Damansara (Greedy bastards Shahrul Azuwan Adanan and Yushairi Khairuddin)
-->> click HERE for more info
the charge: walked scot free with only a fine of RM400

this recent incident shouldn't be taken lightly. 300 cats and a dog were left to starve for a week (or more) resulting in the deaths of 9 cats. this is a clear case of negligence and the perpetrators should be imposed a higher penalty for being irresponsible.

for your information, we do have an Animal Ordinance which includes the penalty for cruelty against animals. but as written in part 4, section 44 of the Animal Ordinance 1953, the penalty for such cruelty is....

...'a fine of two hundred dollars or to imprisonment for a term of six months or to both.'

way to go Malaysia for having such 'heavy' and 'frightening' penalty! (come on lah!!! anyone can afford RM200 lah bastards!!)

for most pet owners, their pet isn't only just another animal, it's part of their family... so you would understand why people would get distressed knowing that their pets have been ill treated. but regardless of whether they are someone else's pet or strays, no animals should be treated harshly or even killed without any good reason, they're after all living beings and God's creations.

or maybe the meaning of compassion and empathy no longer exist in our vocabulary....

a cat and her kitten dead from starvation in the recent animal cruelty incident at Petnode Boarding in Damansara...

yes, i would sell my soul to the devil if it means i can make a change by passing my own judgment on them. if it were up to me, my choice of punishment would be subjecting them to a taste of their own medicine...

cheers...

the world's annoyances...

life doesn't normally turn out exactly the way we want it to be, the best thing that we can do is to work as close to what we have in mind and be settled with it. in other words, we live our lives to the fullest and enjoy every moment that is presented to us.

but enjoying life doesn't give us the privilege to do anything we want, it's a chance for us to realize our dreams and capabilities to a certain extent...an extent which doesn't involve the suffering of other people or animals.

nowadays, we are bombarded by news of war, violence, abuse, psychopathic behaviors, natural disasters, stupidity and lots more and these news grace the front page of every major dailies to the point of overwhelming the positive aspects of human nature. call it a media's way of sensationalizing the angles for maximum profit, but what if the only reason these happenings are reported more was only because we have less of the positive human attributes to tell?

i once told a friend that if i had the power to change the world, i would probably wipe out all humans on earth and make a fresh start just like what happened in the biblical deluge (not trying to be God-like, but just a habit. if things doesn't work, start all over again). but that wouldn't change a thing because knowing us humans, over time we would repeat the same mistakes again...it's all in our primitive nature to fight, kill and be stupid and heartless to the extreme.

us humans are unique, i think we are the only species in the entire universe which has the capability to make a change for the better. we are equipped with emotions, rationality, intelligence, determination and lots more and endowed with superb physical attributes in terms of strength and healing abilities...heck, even the handicapped possesses other special attributes to compensate what they lack. the best part is, we are still evolving and we have yet to uncover our maximum potential as a human being.

but sadly, we are too engrossed with our own superiority that we fail to see that the others are just like us. we use race, religion, skin color and other differences as an excuse to justify our actions. we treat the weak ones as our punching bag to prove that we are better than them just to feed our ego.

it's frustrating to see that we still haven't reach the commonality to understand each other and work together for a better world and to protect those who are weaker than us. my only wish right now is to eliminate the people with a heartless disposition regardless of whether they're portrayed as a loving father, mother, son or daughter.

what prompted this entry? well read this news. may the perps suffer an agonizing death...

seriously, the current world events are truly sucking the optimism and life out of me. i wish i was in a world where nature and modernization goes hand in hand, humans understand the importance of life, the air is fresh, communications is only via telepathy and the night sky is lit up by the splendorous shining of two moons. now that's my dream world.

yeah, the keyword here is dream...

image credit to Scenic Reflections

maybe the end of days is near and everyone's going to hell...just saying. ciao.

sick..darn it hahaha

okay, for the past couple of weeks i've been feeling a bit under the weather. first off, there was this feeling of getting the fever..which never materialized and secondly, i have swellings in my right thigh near my groin area.

since i had a blast holidaying in mabul prior to getting the swells, i thought it could be just a muscle pull so i didn't bother to inform the doctor of it. but after a week, the pain got worse and more conspicuous so i googled it up and the closest info i could get was 'swollen inguinal lymph nodes'.

inguinal lymph nodes
Lymph is a clear fluid flowing through the lymph vessels that nourishes the tissues and takes out the wastes from them to filter it out through the bloodstream. Lymph system is all pervasive. Like the stretch of blood vessels and nerve tissues, you can feel the presence of lymph nodes all through the body. Such lymph nodes in and around the groin region are called inguinal lymph nodes.

Just above either side of the genitals and lying in lower reaches of abdomen, inguinal lymph nodes can be quite vulnerable to being enlarged, swollen and even malignant. Such lymph malignancy in the area may result in endometrial cancer.

[Read more in thelymphnodes.com and health.top54u.com]

so what could be causes for the swellings? there are several, such as bacterial or viral infection, tick bite, lymphoma or tuberculosis and others which i haven't googled up yet.

at first, i thought it could be an infection due to the toe injury i got in mabul but it seemed a bit off since my swollen lymph nodes were on my right leg and my injured toe was on the left, but i stuck to that possibility since it sounded less harmless. after a week of being prescribed antibiotics, the swelling didn't subside...instead, a new swelling appeared which prompted the referral to a private hospital and a proposal for a biopsy to be performed.

i don't like the idea of being dissected, so instead...i decided to give another go of the antibiotic treatment and see how it goes.

but after coming back from the hospital, it suddenly hit me...isn't the doctor supposed to propose a blood test first before going straight for the biopsy?

anyway, i've decided to take a blood test tomorrow, so fingers crossed that nothing terminal comes up and hopefully after this one week, the swellings will subside :p.

those dark spots are the swollen area...

the doctor's report...

ps: would be nice if i weren't single right now... lol :p

ciao peeps :D

My Idol- The Lion Whisperer :D

just in case if anyone is interested to know what kind of animal person i am, well i'm a cat lover (not in that perverted sense!). i love animals but the number one specie in my list is the cat family. here's the top three list of animals that i like:

a) Cats
b) Dogs
c) Birds

having this list doesn't mean that i dislike the other animals. in fact, i have a soft spot for all animals in general even the crocs and snakes. the list is just an indication of animals i'd like to be surrounded with (especially the ones with furs, thick furs) haha. since we're not living in the wild, the least i can compensate with ever getting close to a tiger or a lion is a domestic feline hahaha.

anyway while going through a facebook page, a video was posted which has a similar quality to what i had posted in my previous entry. yeah, it's none other than a man being up close and friendly with a lion but this latest video that i watched was way more inspiring. this guy was actually rolling around with the lions and to top it off, he not only have that effect on lions but also on other wild felines as well, now that's sick :D!

watching him play around with the big cats actually made me feel a bit annoyed because come on, it's like he's teasing me with my own golden dream (other than from winning the million dollar jackpot) of doing the things he's doing, a mockery of some sort as if saying 'hey dude, get a new golden dream because this one is taken'. but you know what, you suck Kevin Richardson. i'm going to bed tonight and dream that you'll be marred by those beautiful creatures and i'll be laughing my ass off with every frakking shrieks and screams whenever they tear your flesh and rip your bones apart!! muahahahahaha (evil mode on....:p)

okay okay, i was just kidding. but the envy part is real :). Kevin Richardson (gotta love wikipedia haha) is the man! he's doing what every feline lovers dream of doing which is playing with the big cats. he's like in the major leagues of the feline pride, someone like tarzan and beastmaster although he's only limited to cats hahaha. but it's still something, normal people would be a meal if anyone were to attempt the feat haha.

here are some pictures (obviously from wikipedia haha) of the man being one with the wild.

okay, now i don't feel weird kissing my cat like this hahaha

woahhh, now this picture says alot!!!

okay, so here are the videos which made headlines:




Kevin Richardson, you're now my new favourite alongside Anderson Cooper, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Buble, Jennifer Aniston and Mother Theresa (there are several others but these are the ones that i can think of right now hahahaha)!

if i were a woman, i'd definitely ask you to marry me muahahahahahaha. just watching the video gives me the butterflies, ciao peeps and enjoy the vid :D

The man behind 'what are words'...

earlier i posted a youtube video of Chris Medina, the American Idol 2011 contestant who didn't make it to the top 24 but touched the hearts of many with his love and loyalty towards his fiancee who is brain damaged.

for those who have seen the video, you may be surprised by how beautiful the song was sung and may even be touched by how the singer expressed his emotions into his singing. well, he was able to do it because aside from being able to feel the song, a great composer was behind the lyrics and music.

the composer is unknown to people like me who doesn't really look into the people who came up with the songs as long as it's music to my ears. apparently, after much googling, the writer and producer of Chris' single 'what are words' is none other than the famous Rodney Jerkins whose credits include Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Kelly Clarkson.

so who is this Rodney Jerkins?

you can read up on him here: Darkchild or Rodney Jerkins

thank God for beautiful songs, thank God for love, thank God for creative minds :). There's still hope for human kind after all :p

picture taken is picture perfect?

i'm not much of a picture person, i mean..i try to avoid having my pictures taken most of the time, unless i'm intoxicated or i was in one of those 'i don't give a sh**' moment hahaha.

before, i never really understood the beauty of picture taking. i used to think that those who likes to take pictures are just vain to the core or too much of a show off (which i still think some are :p) and this mind set side-tracked my understanding of what picture taking is all about.

Having reached the big 3-0, a lot of things are suddenly revealing themselves, a certain level of comprehension unattainable due to the long practiced ignorance are finally surfacing and in retrospect, i do quite regret i haven't been much of a 'cam gigolo' to record my life events.

i don't see any harm of having our picture taken, but there's a limit to how much a person should be parading themselves in front of a camera. unless you're a good looking model with something to promote, try to minimize having your alone-self-shot-pose taken...but, there is an exception to it though.

When i browse through pictures, it's not the individuals' self-posing images which would attract me, instead, the surrounding or rather the story of what the picture is about. most of the time, there will be a focused subject which appears in the images and it's understandable if some (or nearly) all of it have that person's self shot taken because it's part of their life story like for example, a self-posed image of a person during his/her holiday or during a wedding. but if it's a random shot of doing nothing aside from vanity, it irritates me. ok, maybe one, two or even three of such image may be acceptable, but more than 10 or 20 is just just plain dumb (unless you're modelling for something)! hahaha.

I dont know, to me, a camera is a tool to capture the beauty and ugliness of life and of this world. 'A picture paints a thousand words' is more than just a corny line, it's as literal as it is because it plays with our imagination like how a novel would. it's like looking at a picture of a person standing beside a lake, we appreciate the surrounding beauty in the picture, the quality of the picture and in the end it makes us wonder if the person in the picture actually took a dip in the water, or why didn't that person do it or what was the person's thought at that moment or of the place or what else is there to be shared or why was he/she there in the first place and with whom... and so on and so forth.

like i said, a picture plays with our mind and imagination mainly because we see what is shown even when we're not there. we try to indulge ourselves in a picture because we are curious to know of what the real experience would be like if we were in it. unfortunately sometimes what the picture represents doesn't tally with what is it about and that's when we start to wonder and let our mind work its imagination. whichever way it is, a picture makes us think..a lot haha.

Geez, i may well be hated by the united vain people of the world or even the universe for writing about this, but it's just an opinion and i am well entitled to an opinion of my own hahahaha.

maybe i just need to chill eh? :)

sleepless nights solution...

i'm starting to believe that a well rested sleep is a privilege given to the lucky few (or many, depending on the demographic haha), the privileged few of whom i'm not a part of hahaha.

sleeping have been quite a task for me, ok..not sleeping per se, but sleeping early to get the minimum 6 hours of rest. after a sweeping self diagnosis, i couldn't find anything which could explain the inablility to tap into the REM state like what everyone else are doing. i tried googling the causes for my sleep deprivation but no conclusive reason came up of which may explain the cause of it, besides..some of the symptoms doesn't really tally with what i'm experiencing hahaha.

Put it this way, have you ever been extremely tired/ sleepy and eventually fell asleep..but instead of going into dreamland, you seem to be fully aware of your surrounding. every sound you hear registers in your brain and by the time you wake up, you've been sleeping for 5 hours but it feels like you've been sleeping for less than 1 hour! or when you do close your eyes and about to doze off, a sudden random sound suddenly appears out of nowhere but instead of being woken up by the sound, you wake up due to a bright light your brain conjures to describe the noise. or better yet, you suddenly hear someone calling out to you but only in that instant.

and when i do fall asleep, i seem to get this weird dreams...some scary, some quite worrisome and dreams which feels like i literally took part in, leaving me exhausted the next day as if i've only had an hour of sleep instead of the actual 6-8 hours :).

you may think that i'm stressed, but truthfully i'm far from being bothered with my daily routines, i do have a high tolerance when it comes to stress anyways haha.

Having been a late sleeper for quite a time now, i decided to do something about it...no, i'm not taking any prescription drugs to deal with the problem but instead, i've taken up a part time job which requires me working from 8.30pm-11.30pm (or later)..., yeah news flash..I HAVE A PART TIME JOB! hahahaha.

now, there are pros and cons with taking up this part time job. so i'll start with the cons first.

CONS
a) i won't be having any quality lone time as much as i want to
b) i won't be out drinking quite as often (well, haven't been doing that for quite awhile anyway haha)
c) i won't be able to hang out with my buddies without prior arrangement hahaha
d) etc etc etc hahaha

PROS
a) i will be paid for staying up late doing an easy task
b) savings will be a lot easier
c) now i can use this excuse to 'politely' decline an invitation to hang out with people hahaha
d) it'll take my mind off from my day time job hahaha

so, what exactly does this part time job requires me to do? easy, just proof reading the articles before they are sent out for final printing. as you guessed, i'm now affiliated with one of the local dailies here and frankly, i'm having fun hahaha.

my only consolation....food hahaha

next stop...2010...

yeah hey, 2010 is here (or will be in about few hours time) and everyone's pumped up and it's great that they are being all jolly and happy about it :). but aside from sharing their optimism for another good year ahead, i just don't see the need to celebrate something which, if we look at it rationally, would be the same like any other days...i mean, it's just a date :p.

we humans are strange, it's understandable that we like to have fun. but do we really need an excuse to have one, what more to put a date on it? anyhow, before i'm labeled as the New Year's grinch, i may as well wish everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010! hahaha

what's fun for me may not be fun for you muahahahaha...:p

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2009

in the spirit of Christmas, just wanna wish all readers a very Merry Christmas 2009!! :)

New Year 2010 is just around the corner...:)

dreaming in mid-december...

had a weird tiring dream...nothing scary though. dreamt i was in a big hall with strangers, apparently in some kind of zen influenced martial arts class. we were told to break a wooden board, i refused but my mates insisted. in the end, i gave in...after looking at the rest of the group being unsuccessful at their attempts with a simple knuckle contact technique and being a first timer in the class, i didn't think i could do it. Eventually convinced myself it was all in the mind and the pain is in my control, it's up to me whether i wanna feel it or not and i took my first strike, astounding everyone when the 7" thick board broke.

i was proud of what i did but at the same time ashamed when all eyes were fixed on me. i grabbed my bag and rushed out the front door with a blank mind, i walked until a blinding white light covered my sight and awoke me from my slumber...

see..why can't i have dreams like these as often as before :)..

sometimes we need randomness in our life for it to be more meaningful...:)

the answer to (why?)...:)

as most would've noticed, i haven't been blogging as much as i have been a year ago. hard as i try to complete an entry, i would more often be left hanging with its ending..unable to complete a story. so after a long while, i finally figured the reason behind the closing block...which is, i write just for the sake of updating this blog instead of writing to express what i really feel. i lost sight of why i started this blog in the first place, which is to express my feelings and share my experiences. forcing myself to write totally defeats the initial objective.

there are several reasons (or more accurately, mistakes) to why it happened and one of the major reason is, i was trying hard to make my entries worth reading...but everytime i do, it would end up in my draft folder torn between whether it should be published or left just as it is, obviously the latter triumphed haha.

maybe i've come to realize that i do care about what other people think of what i write, and i should take into account that some (or most) of my readers are people that i know who indirectly (or directly) plays a part in my observation for writing inspirations. i failed to consider that humans can be self-centred and vain, that any resemblance of what was written may be viewed as something which concerns them even when the truth is, it doesn't..well okay, maybe one or two entries (minus the ones i wrote in regards to my unsuccessful relationship haha) and that was only because i was provoked to retaliate hahaha. but my mind works best when i don't have to worry about what other people think.

now herein where my dilemma resides, should i write as how my observation dictates or should i refrain from doing so or else face the gallows of being judged and probably criticized or ostracized for using my own experiences as a mode of inspiration? haha, what am i talking about..the obvious answer is already there! to write means having a muse, and a muse is where our inspiration presents itself. so why would one choose a writer's block over a muse right? hahaha.

this time around when inspiration dictates me to write, i will willingly do its bidding (only if i deem it fit) hahaha. so to all readers, expect more consistent entries in the future. if any of you has something against what i write, rest assured that it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with me because it is myself under scrutiny when i do post an entry. it's my life, my senses, my psyche and my experiences under the microscope. ciao peeps..:).

sometimes, answers would come from the most unexpected sources...:)

of pills and sickness...:)

Doc: ok, inhale and exhale..

i did what the doc told me and i can hear myself wheezing when exhaling. this wasn't my first doctor visit in 2 weeks. my first appointment with a different practitioner seemed a bit dodgy, his prognosis of my initial sickness was 'bladder infection' and i asked him how does one get a bladder infection because it sounded quite unbelievable, all he said was it could be caused by 'active' sexual activities (and i went like...WHAT?!! i've been celibate for quite sometime now hahaha) or some other stuff. he prescibed me with painkillers and antibiotics which my instinct told me not consume it. yeah, i got better but my coughing stayed on for another week and the cough expectorants wasn't doing me any good, hence the second opinion..:p.

Doc: have you ever had asthma before?

Me: when i was a child. did it come back?

Doc: emm..not exactly. what you're having is a prolonged.... (bla bla bla bla, couldn't exactly recall what he was saying as i was distracted by some of the paraphernilia inside the clinic hahaha)

until..

Me: a what?

Doc: one particular medicine will make your heart beat faster, so if that happens and your hands begin to shake, don't be frightened..it's supposed to do just that.

my brain processor went into hyper mode looking for the reasoning behind it and figured the quickened palpitations could be the effect of the opening of the lung's airway for easy breathing. the doctor somewhat confirmed the theory later on...well, somewhat haha.

Me:coooool!! (grinning from ear to ear as i was oddly excited by it hahaha)

..............

PREDNISOLONE/ 6 pills, once a day - asthma, phlegm, cough

KASTIPRON/ 2 pills, 3 times a day- cough

BROXINE/ 2 pills, 3 times a day-

CETRIZINE- 1 tablet, once a day

VENTOLU (rmp)?-1 tablet, 3 times a day

i was prescribed with a list of medicines and in my whole life, i don't think i've ever swallowed more than 4 pills a day (except for vitamins :p) even when i got sick, so it kinda freaked me out. so, what exactly do i have?...

.....

.....

.....

BRONCHITIS!! hahahaha. no biggie, i will be fine in no time :).

man, i'm beginning to feel like a sickly old man..really do need to quit smoking, sooner the better hahaha.

Ciao peeps :)

i wanna write...

there's just something about seeing your own write-up being published in any kind of print media regardless of whether you are known as the writer for the article or not.

the article could be just about anything, work related, personal opinions or just for the sake of writing and its a plus if you're acknowledged as the writer, but the acknowledgement itself isn't really a big deal. it's all about self-satisfaction of knowing people will be reading your thoughts on paper and not vanity :).

most of the time, i write articles for the establishment i work for. but, these write-ups aren't as fun as writing a piece based on what emotion, actual facts or personal opinions dictates. it's just different to pick up a pen and jot down each thoughts within a constricting framework compared to free-writing.

sometimes (well, most of the time), i am envious to those who writes better (wayyy better) than i do. just reading at how they play around with words, imagining the things they describe and trying to figure out the messages they are trying to relay are so intriguing to the point of amazement, wondering how the hell they can come up with the story or what provoked them to write something about it or etc etc. their creativity with words is something someone would love to hate (or maybe it's just me) hahaha.

i can safely say, i am not much of a writer and a lot of training for improvement is required before i can call myself good, which is why it can be really frustrating to read through my past blog entries. with loads of grammatical errors and uncreative story line, it is a wonder why i keep doing what i do and i wish i was as good as most of the writers i've come to know either personally or through their penmanship.

this entry is not so much of a complain because at the end of the day, it all comes down to writing. so regardless of whether it is writing for fun or writing for work, the gratification of completing an article or a story is beyond explanation..but i bet most of the bloggers out there already knows that :).

Owh and...pardon the handwriting haha. Cheers peeps :)...

missing the years....

'Hi Jeremy, so how are you faring with your new job at XXXX hotel. We have a vacancy as PR Manager and i was wondering if you're interested' read the text message from an unknown number.

'Hi, would you mind introducing yourself?', i replied, just being careful in my correspondence. The reply didn't come in the next 30mins, but i was kinda flattered when it did. it was a direct call from the Director of Sales & Marketing, and the best part is that i didn't even send out my resume to them.

'May i sleep on it for a couple of days, i can't rush into any decisions right now'

'sure, but don't sleep on it too long'

and i literally slept on it for 2 days, not really thinking about it. the offer sounded good, higher pay (should be more than what i'm getting), a promotion and close to my bachelor's pad. but that's just it, i wasn't inclined on taking up the post. if the offer came few months prior, maybe, just maybe i would've accepted it, but i just started at a new place and i have yet to learn the ropes and i'm not going to give up until i've proven myself..talk about an inflated ego hahaha. besides, i have a great boss and there are many things i can learn from her :).

anyhow, on another note...i'm kinda missing my buddies and mates in Kuching, been awhile since i last saw them. seems like they've finally 'matured' to being reliable people, including the bikers gang who actually hated my guts (i think) for being too blunt in my words and actions.

the bikers used to give me the 'i'm gonna get you someday' glance all the time, and i would retaliate with 'the hell you could' glance hahaha. i understand that i can be a sarcastic, blunt and a straigthtforward jerk some time (well okay, most of the time hahaha), and i don't do well with idiotic or unjustified threats.

there was this one time when i nearly crossed the line with them. in one of my speeches during our election period for the student body council (which i was forced to compete in), i was interrupted with annoying outbursts and laughter by the gang and i knew they were mocking me, but i just kept my cool. but the nervousness of being on stage combined with a bunch of fixated eyes which felt like they could bore a hole in my brain just by glaring wasn't doing much good, and i finally snapped at the gang like a teacher would to his students, 'if you guys dare, come up to this stage!', well okay, i said it in Malay 'kalau kamu semua berani, naik atas pentas lah!' (or something like it hahaha). the gang got quite, all eyes were fixated on them and i really thought i was gonna get it this time hahahaha. at the end of the election, i got the highest ballots (about 90% votes from all the students muahahaha) and was in the line to be the next student body council president only to become the vice president because of religion (which i don't really mind :P).

but in time, the bikers started hanging out with me (and i thought there may be an ulterior motive), got me to participate in the group activities (which i rarely do because i still like the privacy of my own home) and started opening up with their problems. unknowingly, i was actually helping them in whatever way i can (mostly in academics) and they were looking out for my back, so it was a win-win situation for both sides :).

as i went through their pictures in facebook, it seems like they have since discarded their bikers gang persona and being more open and approachable to new people. and i couldn't help but feel happy for them. man, i do miss them a lot :).

geez, i'm rambling like an old man aren't i? hahaha, the hell with it! ciao :P

a) being in one of the kompang troupes in my early semester (yes, i 'used' to know how to beat the kompang haha). man, i look young :)

b) I don't play the game, was just their manager for moral support (i think haha)

c) The batch who broke tradition, made a difference and became the role models for the juniors :)

d) the last hang out :)

Dr. Ass in Practice haha

last night was another one of the many nights i went drinking alone again (yeah i know it's pathetic, but hey..gimme a break will you haha). and as i was seating minding my own business and ignoring everyone who were entering the premise, i suddenly got a hug from behind. it was a friendly hug and a bit childish and i couldn't turn my head around to see who it was but i noticed there was a girl standing beside me, smiling slyly...a stranger and my mind went into hyper speed making calculations based on the height and strength of the hug and only one person came to mind, a pal who i seem to have forgotten. frankly speaking, i was a bit disappointed..wasn't exactly the person i was hoping for, but hey..it was still a hug hahaha.

"yo dude, what're you doing here?!" he asked...

"i should be asking you the same question" i replied with my usual laugh

"didn't expect to see you here and i missed you..been wanting to look you up" in a sudden change in tone of voice and i could tell he really did..

"hey well, what's the use of technology, a short text message would suffice" laughing trying to clear the gloom.

"i texted you on your birthday and you didn't reply, i thought you were too busy"

"what?!! that's like about 3months ago. grow up dude haha. but truth be told, i kinda forgot about you and everyone else..." smirking at my own reply. "so, is this the infamous girlfriend you've been telling me about?"

an exchange of awkward glances happened in a split second between them "noooo..she's just a friend, my senior in high school.."

"owh...", feeling a bit awkward for about a second there and then they took their seats putting me in the middle...

"so, you and your girlfriend are still together?" i asked

"yeah..more or less. we are having toubles, that's why i needed to speak to you. oh and you're still drinking here alone? you haven't change dude" he laughed

i smiled, and i knew where this was going. so we talked about all the shit he was going through, the stuff that has happened and finally, my advice to him was...

"dude, i've told you before didn't i. both of you are still young (literally in their early 20s), and there are a lot of room for changes. you're taking your relationship too seriously, you have to loosen up a little. you can't be controlling her, especially now she's in uni. let her do whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't overstep the boundries. you can't be telling her not to do this or that, let her enjoy life, she's in uni for heaven's sake..she needs to loosen up as well. all you can do is just support whatever she's doing, if you think she's doing something wrong then just tell her off but not in a condescending manner. at least if things didn't work out between the both of you, she would remember you as her loving and supporting ex"

"but what about the promises we made before she left? doesn't it mean anything to her?"

"geez dude, next time come up with a more realistic promises. you're not 15 or 17 year olds anymore.... grow up. honestly dude, the ball is in her court and she's on the winning side. all you can do now is just 'makan hati' (i have no idea how to translate that in english hahaha). if there is such a thing as a sacrifice in a relationship, this would be yours" smiling unconvincingly.

"you know what, i hate it when you tell me stuff like these"

"yeah, well...maybe you're just perverted cos you keep coming back for more", i thought but just gave him an approving smile instead..

i know that it's much easier said than done, heck, based on my track records of past relationships, i'm not even qualified to give out any advices hahaha. but i tell as how i see it, no sugar coating or any form of sweet words..just being my obnoxious self hahaha. but seriously, i would be left with guilt whenever i do give out these kinda stuff, not knowing whether my advices made sense or the thought that it may backfire can be quite disturbing...how's that for an ugly truth :)

"life isn't always sweet and cosy...remember that..."

ciao peeps...

the complexity...

here i am seated in front of my laptop for the past 30minutes, blankly staring at it while, at the same time, squeezing my brain out for something i can write about. during the short period of inspiration seeking, a lot of stuff came to mind but nothing practical...everything was about food! KFC would come to mind and suddenly McDonald, alternating between fast food outlets, making me hungrier despite having a filling dinner. geez...and this only means one thing, if you have nothing good to write, then don't force yourself to hahaha.

but over the past few weeks i've been 'plagued' with a self concious doubt of who i really am, questioning my own individuality and my very own existence. i tried blocking it out from my head, but somehow rather a distant or vague voice keeps telling me that i should be 'out there' somewhere making a difference. yeah, it's a bit subjective...i mean, what kind of difference? better or worse? make difference to my own life or someone else's? but the most important question which needs answering to is 'how do i even begin?'.

this isn't the first time i've been bothered by something like this..it has happened before throughout the different phases of my life and i would just shrug it off as something irrelevant. but whenever it does happen, it leaves a lasting deep impression..hence the doubts. call it a 'hero complex' or a 'calling', but whichever name is given doesn't change the fact that i'm still confused by whatever it may be.

anyhow, on a TOTALLY unrelated note...i think i have diarrhea, it maybe because of the amount of food i've been consuming the whole day or probably due to my greediness, i accidentally stuffed myself with spoiled food items hahaahahahaha. the hell with it, nothing a good dose of 100plus couldn't fix hahaha.

ps: "eye spy with my cat eyes, another confusing future ahead of me"...:p. this is one 'pussy' i'd like to hop into bed with hahahaha *disclaimer: this isn't my cat :p...

ciao peeps and goodnight :p...

counting days to 2009...

Couple more days to go until the new year approaches, and there's something about ushering in the new digits...new year entails to having a makeover, or a new lease at everything :).

There isn't much to say about 2008, aside from it being a year full of mistakes, stupidity and foolishness. a year dominated with confusion, heartaches and pain, but also a year where i finally stood my ground and fortified my own self to be a better person hahahaha.

But despite all the bad experiences, good thing did come out from it. i got to know crazy and intelligent people who never cease to amuse me with their sarcasm and wit, and people who are matured enough to know their limits and childish enough to have fun hahaha.

One thing for sure though, the experiences i gained in 2008 are what i may call a lesson for a lifetime. all that has happened has made me a few notches wiser in certain areas and detached in some hahaha.

As i browsed through my whole year entries, i realized that i've been too caught up with something which was never real in the first place. i was stuck in a fantasy where i thought that things would eventually work out the way i wanted them to be, but that's just it..a fantasy. then again, reality is what you strive hard to make it real and going through all those hardships is an indication of being in the real world.

I could list down all the things i've learned in the whole of 2008, the good and bad and pros and cons of everything..but after giving it much thought, it wouldn't exactly make any difference :).

So what do i have to say about 2008? well, YOU SUCK! hahahaha and i'm really looking forward to your predecessor..the new and improved 2009 :).

Ps: ignorance is bliss..... To all: MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY BLESSED NEW YEAR!!! ciao peeps :)..

the fat bastard...

what was i doing? posting a sappy entry haha. had to remove it from this blog and save it somewhere else. promised you peeps that i won't be posting anything pathetic anymore didn't i? hehehe.

anyhow, just so you know..the mind over matter thingy worked and guess what, am now in total pink of health, didn't even get the fever hehehe. then again, probably the exercise from the jogs and playing ultimate frisbee helped :).

yeah, you heard me right...am now trying to get back in shape, hopefully better than i was 3 years ago. and so far, i've lost about 2kgs in just a week's time (hey, i once lost 10kgs in 3 weeks time okay, so don't be surprised..apparently i can easily lose weight as long as i exercise hehe. but losing the 10kgs required daily exercise such as jogging everyday for more than 30mins hehe). but this time, am just gonna lower it down to 78kg, i think that should be my ideal weight (am 83 kg now :P) and if i were to speed up the pace..i need to start doing the daily exercise :).

the only thing i really need to lose is my beer belly...yeah, i have a beer belly!! hahaha. but i just can't be bothered to do the situps :P. so for starters, am gonna cut down on my drinking spree for a couple of months and see how it goes. one thing about having a beer belly is that...you can actually feel the fats wobbling around everytime you run, and it's damn uncomfortable, it actually interferes with the body balancing (well, that's my opinion :)). even when i lost the 10kgs, i didn't see any difference on my tummy..darn it...gotta start doing those damn situps again...

anyhow:

this was me approximately 3-4 years ago: The skinny me (70kg)...
picture taken: after few rounds of rough housing and hardcore sparring with a room mate hehe
mode of exercise: full court basketball game from 4pm until 8pm *or volleyball from 5pm to 7pm *or badminton from 6pm to 9pm and silat/taekwondo on alternate days from 7pm to 9pm..(* indicates whichever starts first)
diet: rice and mostly vegetables and once in a blue moon meat..

this was me approximately 2-3 years ago: still acceptable (75kg)...
picture taken: after cleaning up the room :)
mode of exercise: basketball 3 on 3 (or sometimes full court), volleyball, badminton and martial arts but only according to mood swings or availability.
diet: rice, mostly vegetables and eggs (occasional meat)

this is me as of few months ago!!: the big bellied fat assed bugger muahahahha.
picture taken: the second jump from the jetty
mode of exercise: constant boozing!!
diet: booze and anything goes (hey, i may be fat but still as agile :P) hehe

ps: i wonder...a change in 3 months? hmmm....we'll see about that :p...but i think i injured my foot (i think the bone on the side of the talus) from jumping around trying to catch the frisbee...damn it..hehe

g'nite peeps hehehe...

Pictures from Saturday night at Rumba - Flip Flop Party 2

Tongue in action huahuahua

the happy couple :)

another tounge in action

Thelca, Tess, Suz @ Ching ching, Pam

Steve & Suz

Stacey & Lee Rod (band drummer)

Tess, Suz & Steve

Ollie, Mark, Kit and Judith

Thelca & I

Dennis and I

Ollie, Mark & Suchen

ermm...that's all peeps.