Tuesday, May 27, 2008

my last entry...for the week??

i'll be leaving to Manila today for my long awaited holiday. just as the island trip i went to recently, my excitement level for this trip is more or less the same..which is zero to nothing hahaha. frankly, the only reason i joined for this trip is for the sights and sounds, the culture and the environment but the rest of the group only has one thing in their mind...clubbing..geez..i think i'm getting a bit too old for the clubbing scene hahaha. the fact that i wont be joining them in their clubbing frenzy made me think of other plans so after asking around, i've finally decided to spend most of time in the cinema catching up with the movies i wasn't able to see..preferably alone :). yeah, come to think of it..i might be able to maximize my holiday experience by doing stuff alone as it would enable me to do stuff at my own time and pace.

anyway, didn't really sleep well last night...my mind was too busy thinking about random and irrelevant stuff, and in the end..my mind drifted to death hahaha. the questions of what ifs suddenly popped into mind and i wasnt able to shake the thought of it hehe.

well, death itself didn't scare me the least..but the thought of not being able to do the things that you were supposed or wanted to do bugged me a lot. i thought of if the plane suddenly crashed or if i became a victim of terrorism in a foreign country..what would i have regretted the most..hmmm, only 1 answer came up. my only regret would be..not having told the person i ever cared about how much i love that person (yeah...going into sappy mode now hahaha) and i would regret not seeing or spend time with that person before my sudden death hahaha (okay, sappy mode off) hehe. man...i really need to give my mind a break hahaha.

guess wat..am still not packed yet..i dont wanna go but i know i should. maybe a long holiday is exactly what i needed after everything that has happened. life still sucks, but i'm gonna do the best i can to make living worthwhile.

ciao peeps...

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...

The moment i woke up this morning, i had this song playing in mind, i have no idea why but it kept playing in my head even after waking up from sleeping for the second time haha. i've always loved this song, it's so touching, sincere and very endearing.

Beautiful in my eyes - Joshua Kadison

You’re my piece of mind,

in this crazy world
You’re every thing I've tried to find
Your love is a pearl
You’re my Mona Lisa
You’re my rainbow skies
And my only prayer
is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

The world will turn
And the seasons will change
And all the lessons we will learn
Will be beautiful and strange
We'll have our fell of tears
Our share of sight
My only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

You will always be beautiful in my eyes
And the passing is the show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes

And there are lines upon my face
From a life time of smiles
When the time comes to embrace
For one long last wine
We can laugh about how time really flies
We won’t say goodbye
‘Cause true love never dies
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

You will always be beautiful in my eyes
And the passing is the show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes

The passing is the show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes...

Maybe i should rethink my own situation and revamp my entire mindset, the short time spent with my so called friends and relatives last night has made me realize few things about myself. I realized that i can be a fun guy to be with if i wanted to, i realized that love exists not only in relationships but also in friendships. doing stuff for other people can sometimes be more rewarding and gratifying than being constantly self centered and selfish, and lastly..if i were to change anything, i should start by changing myself :). easier said than done huh, well...i'll never know unless i try right :).

anyways, will be heading to work soon after posting this entry..damn it, i hate working on a Sunday hahaha.

ciao peeps...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

of Sol and Luna, the real me?..

tonight shall be another full moon, well..not exactly a full moon but 96% full. did you know that more babies are born during full moon, some believe more accidents would happen at this time around and some people associate the full moon to erratic behaviours. yeah...nice.

I remember growing up loving the Sun more than the Moon. i loved feeling being embraced by the life giving heat and ray of the sun, the bright surrounding everywhere i look. it made me felt safe, alive and most of all..i can play around with a clear view of everything. i didn't really love the night time, but i've always been impressed with the night sky, especially during a full moon and i could spend hours just looking at the diamonds in the sky (which is only visible when there were blackouts or if i was in my dad's hometown in Ranau). In a way, i grew up loving the celestials, but i wasn't the only one. my cousin and i would sometimes stay up late at night and talk about personal stuff, religion, philosophy, astronomy, future, possibilites and most of all...the subject of the forbidden art or magic haha. but we'll get into that some other time..

i started loving the silvery full moon after realizing i was a depressed self centred lonely bastard..if the sun was my source of life and courage, than the moon is my source of energy and wisdom..that's how i look into these two aspects of my intrapersonal being. but in time..i seem to drift away further from the sun and started spending most of my time basking in the silver ray.

taking a walk in the middle of the night became a nightly routine, the long lonely walk was a breath of fresh air and everything seems to be still at night. there were less people walking around, less noise and less disturbance..exactly how i loved it :). i didn't care about the dangers, i felt overtly invincible and nothing and no one can harm me. i continued doing it without coming to any harm :). during these long walks did i realize that human sucks..being human sucks, and getting rid of yourself from any emotional bind was just the way to go..and i was right. i led a stress free selfish life from then onwards but not without a price. i couldn't control my anger and i would be pissed off at any little things..

yeah..i was invincible in every possible way, but one thing i failed to see was the consequences if i were to let down the invincibilty shield and be downright human..suffice to say, it sucked big time!! well, that was the past, this time..i've learned from it and solidified the invincibility twice the strength hahaha...

anyways, am not sure why i'm doing this entry...probably this is my way of telling 'i am still human irregardless of my bastardly ways?!!' haha. well, the hell with it...i have my mood swings, come to think of it i may be a manic depressive, who knows hahaha.

in your face peeps :)...gomenasai, just felt like letting off some steam :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

incoherent ramblings...continued...

hiding behind the person who we really are can sometimes suck big time. the pretense of living the life of what other people might admire or living a life of what other people expect of us or what they wanna see can really take a toll on our life..

i know i've posted something like this in my previous entry, but i'm still not through with it :). it's still intriguing to wonder why people can't act, say or do what they want and just be themselves. sometimes, looking at those who dares to be themselves, those who doesnt give a rat's ass about what other people think can be annoyingly envious, and these people in my opinion are the happiest people in our damned population.

but then again, those who couldn't afford to be themselves should be given the hats off as well...it's not easy to be someone else for the sake of others and in some cases, just looking at them trying hard to retain their superficial identity can be quite heartrending.

look around you, look closely at your friends and family, and you're bound to notice that at least one of them are tough in the exterior for God knows why. there might be several reasons to it, probably the tough exterior serves as an armor or padding to the pain they are or will be experiencing..probably they're just afraid to succumb to their own emotions based on past experiences or they are probably born with low self esteem...

but how long can a person put up a facade, what would the impact be if they were to submit themselves to what they're afraid of? i bet if they did finally submit to their own self and things doesn't work out as what they expect to be, the hurt and pain would be magnified by many folds...

being human sucks..big time...

before i leave, i let you people ponder on these questions: what or who are we really afraid of? are we afraid of ourselves or what other people might think? are we willing to let go of what is dear to us for the sake of other people?

goodnight peeps...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tuesday ad humor...

This print advert is real!! A friend from Dubai e-mailed this scanned portion of job ad last Saturday (i would be very much interested to apply if it wasn't in Dubai :)). geeezzz, why can't we be more creative and daring like these people are...anyway, just an actual humor on this Tuesday morning :)

ps: don't miss the fine print on the right hand side hehe...

buenos dias pueblo!! :)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Something Positive

another one of my favorite past times aside from blog hopping, watching online video and net surfing for irrelevant and random stuff is reading online comics. but as of since 6 years ago, i've been an avid avid reader these two comics: Something Positive and Jack. well, there are other comics that i read through as well, but these two has always been my all time favorites.

Reading Something Positive hasn't been a waste. it has taught me more about wit and sarcasm more than anything and after years of being a fan and practicing it myself, i can finally consider myself as being one of the most despicable guy around hehe, the hell with what they think cos one thing i know from the comic is that...f*** everyone, what matters is what i want and what i like hehehe. but honestly, the only reason i like reading it is because of how they portray the harsh realities of life in humor :).

anyway, if any of you likes this kind of humor, please do click on this link and have fun reading hehehe :)

Spanish lesson 1 (as motivated by Ramesh :))...

hoy es uno de las mas latosa dia nunca. yo no puedo creo de lo que arreglar excepto navegacion por la red, patetico no? :). yo podria mando cerca ciudad pero el estado muy abrasador defuera, de verdad yo decidida con espera casa.

revuelto segun mi entrada este edad? lo siento, culpa Ramesh por de salida los tendencia hehe :P. de cualqier modo esta es de divertido hehe. quien sabe, podemos nos mejorar en esto languaje. debe sermos corte esta con frecuencia, bien mesh? hehe.

aww man...i really do need to get a life. i'm having a major headache just by coming up with these short Spanish sentences hahaha. pardon the grammar and everything..i'm just a novice :p.

hasta luego pueblo :)

Sunday, May 18, 2008

monday off day rambling :P

was gonna write something about why people need other people, but after completing the draft, i found out the explanation i came up with sounded somewhat harsh and very much negative haha. so in light of this, i'll just keep it in my draft until the right time comes for me to publish it :).

but as i was browsing through net for some supporting details i came up with something much more interesting and most people would get bored by this kind of subject..psychology haha. i've always been interested in psychology, and i would've ventured into psychology if there was a market for it here haha, the science of how human behavior and how the mind works has always intrigued me even when i was still a kid. come to think of it, there were few topics which has always interested me: psychology (any branch of it hehe), social science, anthropology, tourism, hospitality, archeology (especially Greek and Egyptian historical findings, that includes their mythology) astronomy, philosophy and mainstream science such as biology hehe. Sadly enough, my brain is just not equipped to handle this kind of subjects (or does it? hehe).

anyways, what exactly is psychology? well, it's a science which deals with mental processes (human mind) and behaviors which seeks to understand and explain thoughts, emotions and behaviors. the word itself is derived from the word Greek word 'psyche' meaning 'soul' or mind'
and evolved out of philosophy and biology (hmm, that much explains my interest in this subject :)).

from psychology, several schools of thoughts has been formed to explain the inconsistencies of explanations provided from earlier research or findings. but what i'm very much interested to jot here is the existential psychology and the reason behind this choice is because, most of us must've questioned our own existence somewhere along our lifetime.

Existentialism in every way refers to human life with existentialism and humanism being similar but not the same. most humanists see people are basically good (that's where the word humane came from) while existentialist view human nature as neutral and being good or bad are just personal choices.

as i was saying, most of us must've wondered who we are or what we are? we know we are human beings but what does that account for? what is a human being? several school of thoughts or other theories has their own definition or explanation to this question. and there isnt any accurate definition nor wrong definitions. basically, the explanations that they come up with are based on their own personal observation and experiences and since humans are individuals who doesnt really have the same view on everything around us, the explanations are bound to differ from one another.

hmmm...you know what, if i were to rant more into this subject i might be writing more than a page and by the time you're done with the first page (or in mid reading the first page hehe) you might have fallen asleep because of boredom hahaha.

so my own conclusion to this existentialism paradigm is, we are who we are. our experiences and surroundings either shapes or breaks us muahahaha....geez..been quite sometime since i last read stuff like these..hehe

hasta luego pueblo...

Saturday, May 17, 2008


drunk, happy and touched...thats all i can say about tonight. received an unexpected message causing happy and touched tears to flow hehehe...wtf!!

before i leave, am gonna leave you to ponder on this question...what makes people to rely or need other people?..

goodnight peeps, will give my opinion tomorrow hehe...buenas noches pueblo...

Friday, May 16, 2008

This is my Song....

Jeremy- Pearl Jam

At home
Drawing pictures
Of mountain tops
With him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Arms raised in a V
The dead lay in pools of maroon below

Daddy didn't give attention
To the fact that mommy didn't care
King Jeremy the wicked
Ruled his world

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Clearly I remember
Pickin' on the boy
Seemed a harmless little fuck
Oh, but we unleashed a lion
Gnashed his teeth
And bit the recess lady's breast
How could I forget
He hit me with a surprise left
My jaw left hurtin
Oh, dropped wide open
Just like the day
Like the day I heard

Daddy didn't give affection
And the boy was something mommy wouldn't wear
King Jeremy the wicked
Ruled his world

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Try to forget this... (try to forget this)
Try to erase this... (try to erase this)
From the blackboard

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Was browsing the net just for fun and typed in my name in the search engine when this lyrics popped up. Frankly, this isn't my kinda song and doesn't describe me at all (why would it be,? it's not even my song?!! hahaha). anyway, aside from my name being mentioned many times, there are few things which are in relation to me such as:

1. the depressing side of this song (i can be seasonally depressed...)
2. the mentioning of a lion (figure it yourself why the lion is significant to me hehe)
3. the alter ego of the protagonist in the song (i may look harmless, but mess with me and you're dead meat :P)

hmmm..can it be most Jeremys' are more or less the same? i wonder...

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

suddenly this song started playing in mind...geeez....hehe. ciao peeps :)

midnight rambling...

i was quite sure to be able to fall asleep early tonight, and after bidding my goodnight wish, i lay in bed, closed my eyes and hope the sandman would bring me good dreams to dream about. 5 minutes passed, then 10, then 30 minutes but i still cant seem to doze off. my mind was running wildly with thoughts of irrelevant stuff, must be because i slept 13 hours straight the day before hehehe. but i am damn sleepy, i just cant sleep! even with my eyes closed, i can see vague shapes and figures moving around like what you would see inside a lava lamp.

and then the thought of death appeared in mind, well..it wasnt exactly sudden, been thinking about it for the past whole week for no apparent reason. it wasn't exactly an obsessed thought, but more like the 'what if?' kinda thoughts :). hmmm...i must've telepathically linked my brain waves to someone who has been thinking about this for quite sometime, now i just need to figure out who hehehe, just kidding :).

yeah, i thought of 'what if i died all of a sudden tonight, or what if i had a fatal accident anytime soon? would it affect anyone? would it make any difference if i was suddenly out of the picture? would anyone cry?

i retrospected my own past, and from what i can see and conclude is that...my existence doesn't really matter. i've been too self absorbed all these while that i've ignored everyone else thinking i can survive without anyone's assistance..which in a way i have. even with my selfish disposition, i still have my good sides though..such as, i dont judge people, i take pleasure in observing what other people are doing, i try to help out any friend in need whenever i can (or want to hehehe)....hmm, you know what..apparently i dont have that much of a good side as i thought i would, damn it hahaha.

anyway, that doesn't really matter :), what i wanted to say was, i envisioned my own death. i envisioned that only few people would come to my funeral, not because i have made a difference in their lives but just out of respect for my family. no one would exactly shed a tear cos i havent exactly been a good friend or companion, not to mention a good son and brother hahaha. and then i thought to myself...why do i need to care about all these when i'm already dead?! hahaha.

if i were to die today or anytime soon, i dont think i have much to regret. i've seen and experienced what life has to offer, although there would be a lot of stuff i'll be missing out but it doesnt really matter cos i've seen what i would be missing in the eyes of friends and strangers.

come to think of it, i've never been afraid of dying. i grew up thinking that i would be better off dead than alive hahaha. but if someone did ask me if i was ready to die a couple of months ago, i would definitely say 'no' cos back then, i had a reason to look forward to everyday. but nowadays, life is gradually returning to how it was before and i am gradually moving into the shell where i've spent most of my waking moments in :).

one thing a good friend of mine and i share in common about death is that, we would like our funeral to be a happy occasion, not a sombre one. we would want everyone to laugh about and even make jokes of our death...well, he got his wish alright :).

so, do i really want to depart soon?...hmmm, honestly, i dont know. life does sucks and i dont mind dying, but it is not my place to determine where or how i should die. i may have the means to do so, but not the authority, only the Big Man up there is allowed to do that...besides, i'm not a suicidal idiot who thinks that death is an easy way out of life...

death is actually an interesting topic to talk about..there's nothing gothic or gloomy about it, in fact, the topic itself is as rewarding as life cos for me, to understand what life is truly about means to understand what death is...:)

man...what the hell am i rambling here..this is what you get when coming up with an entry while being groggy with sleepiness. i know i'm gonna regret this tomorrow morning hehehe...

goodnite peeps..

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

morning rambling...

aww man, am not really sure how i'm gonna cope with work today. didnt really get a good night's sleep (well, it's kinda hard to sleep when you're having fun hehe), so right now i'm in the office, in front of my pc trying to find some believable excuses for me to skip work today.

Excuse no:

1. Dear boss, my cat died awhile ago and i need to be home to bury it (yeah right, as if i have one haha)

2. Dear Boss, i'm not feeling well cos i was having massive diarrhoea last night..(plausible, but would i get pass the in-house doctor?)

3. Dear Boss, i didn't sleep well last night cos i was disturbed by an unseen hand in the dark (okay, i know that was lame...hehehe)

4. Dear Boss, i havent slept at all cos i had a really bad stomachache..probably this would work..)

ps: was trying to come up with something funny and sarcastic but being deprived of enough sleep somehow affected my ability to think straight...damn it (hey, i'm not complaining of the lack of sleep..in fact, it's worth it :P) anyway, gonna head out to the in-house doctor and exert my charm on the old geezer and dupe him into giving me an mc woo hoo hahaha.


Monday, May 12, 2008

My Name is Rose

Cant help but to share this with you people out there...there will be more of this in the future, so heads up :)

First day of college our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'

I laughed and enthusiastically res ponded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze.

'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.

She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'

'No seriously,' I asked. I was cur ious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake..

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Fru strated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.'

She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER GETTING OLD IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give.

Friday, May 9, 2008

love interrogated...

I was doing my usual blog hopping when i chanced upon a blog of an acquaintance by profession. A quote in her entry caught my attention...:)

"Love makes no excuses, doesn’t bargain nor does it make you feel worth less than you really are. If a man truly loves you, there is no such thing as an obstacle.” - Mel's Dad

How often can one person fall in love in their lifetime? once, twice or more? well, newsflash..those who says that they can be in love more than once in their lifetime is nothing more than just idiots who couldn't differentiate between love, lust and desire. let me make it simple then:

1. LOVE: a blissful feeling of pure affection and care for another soul/person.

2. LUST: a sensual feeling which is caused by the stirring in the loin..

3. DESIRE: the need to want something for personal pleasure or satisfaction.

(disclaimer: dont be an idiot by taking the definitions at face value, look up the dictionary for their actual definitions :))

Falling in love is relatively easy, all you need is someone whom you like to like you back and walla...you now have a loved one. but guess what, whoever thinks of it that way are desperate and lonely idiots who has nothing good going on in their life.

How exactly does falling in love works? does it consist of two people professing their innermost feeling to each other or does it only require one of them to show what being in love really means? the word 'love' itself is quite a strong word and anyone who uses the word nonchalantly should be punished severely.

it's a wonder how anyone can say it freely without actually knowing what they really feel. the word should be regarded as something sacred and shouldn't be said in vain (maybe they should put it in the 10 commandments: thou shalt not use the word 'love' in vain. hahaha) because not only it's mysterious and confusing, but it's also misleading.

everyone of us are constantly looking for that one special person to come into our life and when that person appears, we would instantly know that she/he is the one for us. for most, love comes sooner while for others, love would appear quite later in life. but nonetheless, most true love are never without obstacles. therein lies the question of how far would you go to defend your love of your life? would you let the obstacles come between what is meant to be or would you stick to what is meant to be?

obstacles are what makes the love stronger. no matter how much we wish that love should be without any obstacles, the plain fact is that these obstacles are the very thing which makes the relationship stronger, makes love stronger. but if you give in to the obstacles, that only proves one thing...that what you think was love, wasn't love at all.

there are sacrifices to be made when you really love someone, as they say...love doesn't come cheap but it's priceless in the long run. so, how exactly do you know that you've met the right person? put it this way...whom do you think about or where does your mind lead you when you're thinking about someone? or, on a deeper level...take a few moments to close your eyes and imagine that you're on the verge of dying, think of someone whom you'd like to spend your last moment with. the person which appears strongly in your mind should be the one you should commit to. well, speaking about death, what would you do if the person you're really in love with suddenly died? would you regret not telling them how much you really feel for them? (okay...love and death should be discussed in another topic hehe)

am not sure why i'm rambling about love when i myself is single (but not looking hehe) and probably clueless in this area, so don't mind me hehe. but one thing i do know is that, if you really love someone, always tell them how much they mean to you and don't let them wonder otherwise. but if you cant say it, then at least do something to show that you still do..be creative :). just because you're together doesn't mean that you should cease saying or showing what you really feel...

okay, am gonna quit rambling now. probably part of the reason why i'm writing this entry is because my parent's 30th anniversary is just around the corner..and honestly speaking, i am envious of how they stayed together for this long hehehehe.

ciao peeps...

of pretense and masquerades...

life is full of pretenses and masquerades, just looking at the obvious is not enough to get the accurate details..we need to look beyond at what is presented in front of us. most of us has been conditioned to project what other people wants to see, leaving our own desire or need left unattended and after a period of time, we get better at putting up a facade for everone else to see at the expense of our own need.

look at the people around you, look at the ones with their smiles on their face, their joyful laughter..are they really at ease with themselves or are they hiding beneath their sanguine appearances?

Wouldn't it be easier for everyone if they just say out what needs to be said and not keep it all inside? then again, people are just not to be trusted when it comes to words. most likely everything that comes out from their mouth are just lies to serve their own purpose, their own need. they may say one thing and suddenly have a change of heart or opinion in just a blink of an eye.

yeah, i believe that everyone has gone through that phase of being used, chewed and spitted out somewhere in their lifetime leaving us high and dry wondering what the hell happened. but who are we complain, it's all part of life's stupid journey to show us that life sucks and reality bites, to prove to us all that anger and hatred can overcome love and all those yucky mushy stuff that everyone is searching for.

but should that be our basis to hate our fellow human beings? heck no, after all we are humans as well. but what we can do to differentiate us from the rest is to believe in ourselves and live life according to how we want to without involving anyone else because face it...no one wants to know what we do. besides, why would our lives be of any interest to them when they have their own life to live. it's just their ploy to get close to you for a chance to hurt you or to compare whose life is more pathetic...

it's not easy to get away from all these pretenses and masquerades because we are humans and there's no way a human can get far without any other human contact, not unless you're out there in the middle of nowhere practising your meditation OR DEAD hehe. there's no other way to deal with it but just to ignore them entirely and live our own life the way we want to.

hmm...i do sound a bit resentful of people dont i? i dont actually, but past experiences has shown me that there's no one else we can trust but ourselves. listen to our instincts and act through rationality, dont give in to tempatation easily because what feels so right can sometimes be so wrong. question everything thats happening around us and be very wary of everyone and if you feel like the past is catching up to you and you know you cant fight it, the best thing you can do is to ignore them and look forward to tomorrow and the day after...

melancholy in the afternoon....stupid idiot... :)

Naughty Answers!

Got this in my email and i thought i should share this with you guys :)...

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says :
'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends'.

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, ' send me a brother'

Santa wrote back,


What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

Husband asks 'do u know that the meaning of WIFE is:

W ithout
I nformation
F ighting
E very-time

The wife replied 'It means:
W ith
I diot
F or
E ver

What's the difference
between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.

Panic is when both are pregnant.

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver run away

A young boy asks his Dad :'What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that IS confidential .'

TGIF, have a little laughter in this weekend and hope you have a good time...:)


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Japanese Name

Got this tag from Ned & Acis.
For the instructions, add your name on the list and simply spell out your name using the given Japanese letter- translations below. Tag six of your friends and inform them of the tag. Please use your real name to make if more humoristic because this is funny... hehehehe... Have fun!

A - ka G - ji M - rin S - ari
B - tu H - ri N - to T - chi
C - mi I - ki O - mo U - do
D - te J - zu P - no V - ru
E - ku K - me Q - ke W - mei
F - lu L - ta R - shi X - na
Y - fu Z - zi

1. OSWALD - moarimeikatate (sounds like american and states har....har...har...)
2. JUNELLE - zudotokutataku (Thank God I’m a Filipino! sounds like sadako. nyay! hehehe)
3. JACQUELINE - zukamikedokutakitoku (Ayay!! Unsaman ni perti mang taasa..wa ko kasabot nyahahaha)
4. LERMA - takushirinka ( I’ll use this name if I’m in Japan!)
5. BREGIE -tushikujikiku ( Wah....ang sagwa hehehehe)
6. Michelle - rinkimirikutataku (sounds like miriku-piriko, tataku-tatak-u) hahaha!
7. C.A. "tque" - mika "chikedoku" (nice and cool!)
8. JULIET - zudotakikuchi (murag suntuka koh!? hehehe!
9. Marilyn - (Rinkashikitafuto) i couldn't remember my name if it is like this.
10. JENNEDY - (Zukutotokutefu) - huhuhu... I don't like this name. In my native language, the underlined letter sounds 'private'... hahahaha...
11.FRANCIS-(Lukatomikiari)..atuk oiii...my name like mee kari...wakakakaka
12 JEREMY- (zukushikurinfu) hmmm....nothing weird here. my name's cool muahahaha

am gonna let the tag DIE here from my side..:P

hasta luego..

office boredom...

wasn't in any mood to work today with the hangover and all, besides...i've been pretty laid back for the past whole week since most of my tasks has been completed before going for the holidays :).

not knowing what else to do, i grabbed the camera and pretended i was busy doing some shooting hehe. good thing taking pictures is part of my job description or else i wouldn't be able to tinker with the camera hahahaha.

IMPORTANTE: life is too obvious to go unnoticed..

INVENT: let go of the past..re-invent yourself...

RELAX: take a minute to enjoy the moment...

PERSONALIZED PLANNER: what's in the name?

CONTEMPLATE: look ahead, expect for the worse and hope for the better...

TIME: time waits for no man, ignore all distractions...

ciao peeps, my apologies for boring you with this entry :)

ja-mata.. :)

weekday...drunk and incoherent...

am currently quite drunk right now, had a drink with some friends after the meeting with the group members to the island to exchange pics hehehe.

anyways, did something stupid by texting the person i really cared about only to know that they're are having fun themselves. good, now i'm really sure to ignore them cos they seem happy with where they are now not to mention having fun or a good time. muahahahaha.

sorry peeps, will update more tomorrow hehehe...

goodnite peeps....

Sunday, May 4, 2008


just updated:


my inkblot Tickle test report :P

Jeremy, your unconscious mind is driven most by


By having your unconscious mind driven most by Curiosity, you probably have an inquisitive and forward-thinking nature. This trait can manifest by being full of thoughts about the future, or maybe you simply enjoy considering new ideas. Not one to be reined in by the humdrum realities of daily life, you appear to be able to look beyond those boundaries to imagine new vistas. People with a heightened drive for curiosity tend to be open-minded and non-judgmental. This can go hand in hand with their appreciation for seeking out new possibilities.

At times, having a seeking nature can make curiosity types highly intellectual, whether scientists, writers, or simply brainy daydreamers. "What if..." is likely a question never far from any of their minds. If this is true for you, then you may feel that new frontiers are where it's at. Following this inclination toward innovation can not only enrich your personal life, but also make you a valuable asset in business as well.

Unlocking your unconscious

Your responses to the inkblots reveal more than just what drives your unconscious mind. They also uncover some central details about your personality, perspective, and relationships with others. Your unconscious mind colors these characteristics but is different from them. Here's what your responses indicated:

Your concept of reality
Your concept of reality is a popular one and might be seen on the surface as being mainstream. When making first impressions, for the most part, you tend to see the world as others do. However, because you're a unique individual and have your own perspectives, it's likely that you also have a talent for devising your own novel viewpoints. This ability to see what others see but still have your own vision can be a great gift.

Because you're usually in agreement with the majority about the way things are, you're not likely to find yourself at odds because of your views. On the contrary, this common vision is likely one of the things that binds you to the people with whom you associate yourself. When a person's perspective is far different from the norm, they're much more likely to feel alienated and may have to work harder to get their points of view across. People like you have the opposite problem in that you may have a greater tendency to see what is obvious. Because you see what most people see, it can be a struggle to appreciate others' unusual perspectives or a lone opinion in the group. Be careful of getting too comfortable with your views, even if others share them. The obvious opinion isn't always the best one. Challenge yourself.

Take Action
In the past, it may have seemed to you that people with dissenting opinions were misguided or just plain wrong. Yet not all differing viewpoints lack merit. On the contrary, people with unusual perspectives can add breadth to a discussion or even present an entirely new lens through which to view a problem. Imagine the great inventors. Many of their boldest achievements must have sounded like crackpot schemes at first. However, their unique views eventually proved to be at the root of great scientific and technological advancements.

The best way to make sure that you're not writing off potentially valuable ideas from others is to pay special attention in situations where there is a dissenting opinion. While your initial reaction may be to squash an unexpected idea to move on to ones that you share, try instead to examine the contribution more closely. Ask yourself — or better yet, ask the idea's originator — what it is that guides their logic. Try to keep an open mind and really hear what the person saying, rather than trying to bend their views to match your own. If you can remain objective, you might find a fresh, new perspective or solution.

For example, imagine taking a friend along with you when buying a new cell phone. Your usual tendency might be to base your purchase solely on product features. After all, when buying electronic equipment, bells and whistles can be important. Picture that you've narrowed your selection down to two phones. Both are of quality, but one has a nicer keypad, cooler ring tones, and better number storage capabilities. Once you find out that there's only a $10 price difference between the two, your choice between them seems obvious.

But then your friend, shopping right along with you, asks the salesperson how many people have returned the phone you chose due to defects or other problems. The salesperson reluctantly tells you that the model you selected has a much higher number of problems than the other one you were considering. She also admits to you that if you drop the phone even one time, it will be destroyed.

After hearing this news you decide to put your usual criteria aside and select the phone with the better return record. If your friend hadn't been shopping with you, you would have made a different — probably worse — decision because the two of you went about shopping differently. By looking at things a new way, you can sometimes come to a different, more beneficial conclusion even in situations that appeared obvious.

Your mental flexibility
This section looks as the flexibility of your opinions, values, and perspective. To determine your result, Tickle's experts examined both the fluidity of your thinking and the rigidity of your opinions.

Based on your responses, you're reasonably flexible in your thinking and opinions. As a result, when dealing with most topics, you can easily consider other people's views. However, if a conversation centers on one of your core values, you're typically more reluctant to entertain other ways of thinking. This is true for most people. After all, it's good to have strong opinions on issues of importance. These views help create a foundation for what you believe in. Naturally, your ideas can change and develop over time. But particularly in your case, it's unlikely that they'll be radically different from day to day.

Occasionally your certainty can result in missed opportunities. If you're too sure of your values, you might forego the chance to observe a different way of being. You might also fail to imagine a way of life that might actually make you happier. If you find that you are excessively defensive on certain topics, it's likely because of one of the following reasons. Either the area is something you've had extensive experience with, and therefore have personal history to base your views on. Or, your defensiveness could be covering up a deep wound or insecurity that you're afraid will be exposed if you open yourself up to a new way of thinking.

Take Action
When you find yourself behaving defensively about one of your opinions, instead of escalating the situation or shutting down, take a moment to step back and examine your beliefs. Have you formed your opinion based on sound knowledge and experience, or is it merely convenient for you to think that way? At times, you might be surprised to find that fear or even simple laziness is at the root of some of your views. When trying to uncover what is really bothering you about having your viewpoint questioned, ask yourself: "What would be so bad if my opinion were wrong?" In finding out what you have to lose by changing your opinion you can come to some deep understanding about your true values and motivations.

Your Level of Fantasy
Some people fantasize nearly nonstop, others rarely do, and the majority of people fall somewhere in between. Imagination and the ability to create alternate realities are the two factors that determine whether or not a person is capable of having a highly colorful fantasy life. However, not everyone who can fantasize does. For example, if two strangers who were both capable of fantasizing were sitting next to one another on a bus, one might still spend the whole ride thinking about paying their bills and formulating their next to-do list, while the other could be envisioning taking a siesta on a tropical island. For Tickle's Inblot Test, having a high level of fantasy involves both having the mental tools necessary to fantasize and putting them to use.

Being prone to fantasy can be thought of as a spectacular gift. Fantasy can give one the ability to create a made-up world much more captivating and pleasurable than the usual day-to-day realities. This can be a wonderful asset as you go though life - a free form of entertainment that you can use any time.

Some people look at those who are fantasy prone in a derogatory way. They feel that the more realistically a person thinks, the saner they are. Indeed, most definitions of "abnormal" refer to what is "unusual" or "not frequent". Clinical experts sometimes look at fantasy as a means of trying to escape reality, rather that face what's there.

Regardless of how one feels about fantasy, its value is heavily dependent on how it's used. If you use fantasy to visualize improvements in your life without ignoring important realities, then fantasy can be a useful talent. It can help you maintain your optimism and even to devise novel solutions to your problems. However, if fantasy is something you retreat into as a way of denying reality, then you might want to reconsider your use of it.

Tickle's experts found that you are certainly capable of fantasizing and may even enjoy keeping yourself entertained that way. However, based on your responses, your first reaction to stress probably isn't to create an alternate universe or to imagine things differently than they actually are. In fact, you appear to have the nice balance of having the gift of fantasy at your disposal without having the tendency to overly rely on it. In other words, when it comes to fantasy, you typically use it, but don't abuse it.

Fantasy is a technique frequently employed by people living under harsh conditions in order to ease their stress. In this way, imagination can be a vital tool for prison inmates who live in depressing, restrictive conditions day in and day out. Using the power of fantasy can also be a profound relief for people living in poverty and in war zones. In fact, there are many people who live in adverse situations or deal with other painful circumstances that could benefit from occasional relief through fantasy.

Fantasy only becomes a problem when you ignore something you need to deal with because you have the ability to fantasize it away. For example, imagine you have a problem with an aunt of yours. Perhaps this aunt says something that upsets you almost every time you talk with her. As a result, after a while you stop listening to her in favor of pretending that you're someplace else entirely. The fantasy you create for yourself might be more exciting - and far less annoying, but it doesn't change this detrimental pattern between you and your aunt. A better response might be to put your fantasies aside for a while to address your aunt's poor communication style head-on.

At it's worst, fantasy can keep you from making important lifestyle choices. For instance, if you fantasize that you have boundless energy and are a wonderful athlete, and in the meantime sit on your couch eating potato chips and playing video games, there will eventually come a time where you won't be able to deny what is really happening to your body and you will have to tend to the reality of your deteriorating health. However, there's no reason that you have to let fantasy affect you in these negative ways. So long as you pay attention to the aspects of your life that need addressing, like your health or your career, you should be able to use fantasy and creative visualizations to bolster your happiness and success, not impede them.

How you relate to others

Your relationships are complex things. One important aspect affecting all of them is the role that you play when interacting with others. Do you typically take an active approach when dealing with the people around you, or do you tend to behave more passively? According to your test responses, you appear to have a balanced approach to interacting. You're not consistently the one who is active or passive. This mixed pattern indicates that, relative to other people, you try to either be sensitive to the needs of a particular situation or the people with whom you're dealing. By being able to adjust your approach depending on how the others are behaving, you can handle most situations with ease. Your friends may see you as a great listener or a savvy communicator because of your gift for reading people.

The overall effect of this balanced approach is that you have more options available to you when it comes to your communication style. The possible downside to this fact is that certain individuals with a balanced approach can get confused about which approach feels most natural to them — not just to the situation. While flexibility is a good thing, if you behave solely according to what's going on around you, it can wear on your sense of self.

Another difficulty you may find yourself running up against is that your balanced style may seem like inconsistency to other people. For example, if one day you take the lead in a group and the next day you choose to follow, this transition can be unsettling to those around you. Also when you're dealing with someone who is also balanced in their approach, your relationship can become an elaborate dance where each of you is trying to figure out who's taking charge. If you find yourself in a situation like this one, consider making your style more consistent — whether active or passive — in order to avoid potential confusion.

ps: i think this test somewhat sums up who i am hehehe. look out for the italicized sentences ...cool :p

Taken from http://www.tickle.com/