so there i was driving alone at approximately 10pm down to my usual waterhole only to find it crowded, on a weekday!! i was in the mood to spend sometime having fun by myself so i had to move to another place where i dont think it would be crowded, someplace i can be anonymous. i did find the place and made myself comfortable with a mug of stout, but after a while i didnt feel like spending more time in that place cos i felt like an outsider so i finished my stout and left.
well, i was still in the mood to drink..so i drove around thinking where else can i find cheap booze while maintaining my anonymity until i came to a place which is close by to where i live. the place looked like it had a bar and karaoke cos their headline said 'CAfe & Lounge' but if i knew they meant it literally i wouldnt have stopped by hahaha. so i moved out from that place and came to another place nearby. i was practically at the staircase when i heard a bunch of unruly women speaking out loud. suffice to say i was turned off by such unlady like behaviour hahaha...
probably tonight wasnt meant for me to be drinking, so i decided to head home straight instead hahaha. and by the time i reached my house, i can feel the stout doing it's mojo on me...yeah, i was becoming slightly tipsy (strange isnt it...probably after having been inactive in the drinking arena, my ability to hold my liquor is somewhat diminishing hehe).
anyway, as i propped down on the sofa watching tv, my mind started wandering off by it's own. i began to reminisce of the past and trying to foresee the future. i realized that i'm letting my past into my present which in turn would affect the future and i needed to do something before i fall into the same situation again (being away from everyone..).
but dont get me wrong, letting the past into the present isnt exactly a bad thing at all. sometimes we can learn a lot from it. but to gain from the past, we must have a clear understanding of the present and the only way to do so is to get over previous events in order for clear judgment to take control. thats where my problem lies, i have yet to get over the past :).
anyhow, things has been looking up to me partly because of my ignorance. and being ignorant is the only thing i think i'm good at after years of conditioning myself to loneliness.
oh crap...with these mood swings, one might think i'm manic depressive (maybe i am...shoud get myself checked out sometime) hahaha. i really gotta stop all these nonsense muahahahaha. will post again someday when i do feel like it okie...
buenas noches y grato suenos le tu :)