i've mentioned before that i'm a loner, always have been and would probably always be. i think 1 contributing factor to this is that, i dont trust people that easily. but dont get me wrong, having a trust issue doesnt affect my social capability, i think i can get along well with people (most of the time). in other words, i am superficially friendly hahaha.
i'm not on a quest to gather new friends or acquaintances, i'm fine with how i am right now. besides, i couldn't even tend to the ones i know now, probably my selfishness exceeds the need for human relations hahaha.
well, i've learned the art of self entertainment from an early age..and thanks to that, i dont need anyone to cheer me up when i'm down or be there for me for anything else. i am well equipped for fun...with or without anyone hehe. strange eh...thats me :).
i did a test once to find out how long would a so called friend look me up after ignoring every invitations for a night out or for a gathering. apparently, people would start ignoring after the first month..which is good, at least i've eliminated whom to hang out with. but for those who stayed on, keeping up with the invitations even after knowing what my answer would be..those are the people worth hanging out with (not that i have the time to be hanging out hehe).
sometimes, having to know a lot of people feels like a hindrance. i dunno why, but thats just how i feel. i just dont trust them enough to be closer, to be part of their group. i've seen enough lies and pretense in people to know that they're not to be trusted (that includes me...hey, it takes one to know one right :)).
i never blamed anyone for my lack of friends, if any, i'm the one to be blamed for pushing away any potential good friends. i have long known of my shortcomings, my weaknesses..of how much different i am than anyone else. my perspectives of the things around me differ to those of my peers and it used to be a trouble blending in. but i've learned to ignore them and do my own thing..and has been doing it ever since :). so in a way, no one really knows the real me, just as well cos i dont think anyone can handle the real McCoy (my short term relationships can vouch for that hahaha).
some of the things that you would never see me do:
1. Be flattered (i dont believe in flattery cos i dont flatter other people unless i really mean it)
2. Cry (It took me at least a decade to shed my tears, and i think its gonna take another decade or more to do it again)
3. Be in a fight (i've learned to fight my own battles in reality and metaphorically, so i expect everyone else to be able to as well. would only be in a fight if it involves moi hehe. come to think of it, exchanging blows seems to excite me..the pain itself is a God given stimulant :))
so, my verdict for a potentially good friend who updates you of the happening stuff around(based on my previous blog)is: http://josiekupi.blogspot.com hahaha.
hmmm...i think thats all to it :)