Tuesday, June 10, 2008

ramblings of some sort...

didn't sleep well again last night...i was tossing and turning and my 5 hours of sleep felt alot like 5mins of nap. could probably because of the cold, or probably i had something else in mind..but either way, it affected my beauty sleep :p.

am not really sure whether i should be glad or sad with the ultimatum of one the things which has been bugging me. maybe i should be glad because i have 1 less matter to think about, but having settled and lost that has made me feel empty once again..anyhow, am not gonna be too hard on myself this time :), like they say..one's loss is another's gain.

been walking around the whole day today and i was gonna complain of how tired i am..but after giving it pinch of optimism i realized that i need to do more than walking if i were to lose weight haha. yeah...i have regained the weight i lost all these while, i am now at 83 kg and it wouldn't take long for me to get back to 87kg muahahaha..then again, i lose weight as fast as i gained it so am not really worried about it :).

i think as of last night..i seem to not be able to feel anything. all i did today was laugh at everything and anything and i had this smile pasted on my face whether i want to or not. hmm..probably that's just my defense mechanism kicking in neutralizing anything good or bad i'm feeling hahaha.

i might be moving back to Sepanggar soon or the latest by end of this month, and with that, i might not be able to update my blog as often as i would have and i wouldn't be going out as often as well (not that i have a problem with any of it) hehehe. sometimes being alone is just the remedy for someone like me :P. in a way, i feel like the knowledge and insights of i once ignored and lost is somewhat coming back to me..it's hard to put it into words, but it feels alot like having my mind being flooded with all the craps i used to have..even the ones that i thought i've lost is rushing to have a slot in my brain hahaha, metaphorically speaking, i'm a psychic who has regained the ability which has been lost for quite sometime hehehehe..(well...i could be, who knows right :p).

okay...am hungry and crankiness is kicking in. either i get some food or someone will get their head bitten off, but wait..since i am entertaining tonight and my dinner will only start at 7.30pm, so heads will be rolling hahaha..so ciao :)..

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