Sunday, February 1, 2009

the nonsensical ramblings of a tipsy dude :)

for the past three nights, i've been moderately enjoying myself enjoying the night life..something which i haven't been doing for quite sometime, and felt really good.

i'm not saying that i have (deliberately) been a complete hermit all these while but the hectic work schedule hasn't been too kind to me and after missing out on the public holidays (since december last year),the night outs until wee hours in the morning was a good change, and kinda satisfying :).

i decided to claim my replacement off days on Friday and Saturday, thinking that i would get myself drunk on a Thursday night..well, i managed to get drunk...but the weird part was, i didn't even get a hangover the next morning. so after doing some household chores in the bachelor's pad just to pass the time, i was left with this tremendous sense of boredom and the next thing i knew, i was on my way to the office on my off day! hahaha.

no, i'm not a workaholic (which some of my friends tend to disagree)'s just that, i can't sit around doing nothing unless i was enjoying a tv show or reading a book :). that's just me...i'm the type who likes doing stuff at my own accord :).

ever since the beginning of the new year, i have been extremely at peace with myself. it seems that everything is in place and i was in total control of myself. the only vices i indulged in were cigarettes and alcohol.

my supplier keeps telling me that i should loosen up and get laid...but you know what, i have been celibate for a period of time now and i'm fine with it. Dont think i haven't thought of it but after having a serious intrapersonal reflection, it dawned on me that sex was never a priority for me, i just dont have that kinda libido which would enable me to sleep around like a piece of worthless bastard :). sex is good, but it's waaaaay better when you're doing it with someone who really matters. waddya know...i am a conservative hahaha.

i had my chance to score on the recent chinese new year's eve. i was at my cousin's place having a drink with the guys when one of my cousin's (a she) girlfriend decided to have her way with me. i thought i was okay with it, so we sneaked into a room and made out. but the session wasn't what i thought it would be like...i kinda held back with my kissess primarily because...i had someone else in mind and she noticed it. i was ready to leave when she said 'my ex was a better kisser' and it kinda struck a chord in me, i sarcastically retorted saying 'well, so why don't you go and look for him'. didn't take long for her to break down and cry and start babbling about her worthless ex-boyfriend.

i listened to her babbles, but there wasn't any sympathy from me. i knew what she was going through and i should've said something nice to cheer her up, but i didn't because i've learned that everybody would eventually go through the pain and heartaches of being in love. the moment she was done talking, i stood up, walked to the door and left her on the bed still crying and proceeded to join the guys at the drinking table keeping what had just occurred to myself.

i am an ass...well, twice the asshole i used to be and more cold hearted than i ever was. i just dont have any room to be sensitive or sentimental towards other people. i much prefer playing the devil's advocate, i dont rely on anyone and i expect everyone not to rely or expect anything from me in return :).

man, i am tipsy and in need of a good night's sleep :). ciao peeps...

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