the disrupted constancy...

i woke up this morning not exactly knowing what day it is. the heavy rain seemed more imperative then what the rest of the day has in store for me. after few minutes of lying down on my bed and after regaining sense of the surrounding, it occurred to me that today 'should be different' than any other days. unfortunately, the excitement was momentarily outlived when i realized that 'today is just the same as any other days, until i decide to make it differently'. yeah, i'm a wet blanket even to myself haha :p.

so basically, i started my day just as i would everyday; go to work, get stressed out at work, and back to work again convincing myself that i am not stressed out; a repetitive process until lunch time. for no apparent reason, i wanted to be alone during lunch hour, i didn't feel like mingling around and i definitely wasn't in the chatting mood. off i went, taking a 15 minutes stroll hoping to clear my mind (which was already blank in the first place haha) before deciding on which restaurant to patron for lunch. the mindless walking brought me to a familiar restaurant, a filipino restaurant and coincidentally enough, the place was vacant as it was just opening for business and i was their first customer.

i liked the environment, no one around except for the workers and it felt really comfortable and safe...i suddenly got to thinking, that maybe, just maybe, everyone needs a place where they can comfortably go to without having to think what others are thinking. not to say a place where you're free to do whatever you want and be yourself, but more like a place where you can just relax...

signal hill used to be 'the' place i would go to. regardless of how dark and spooky it was, it didn't bother me the least. i liked the midnight chill, the eerie silence which would be broken by the passing cars and the gloomy darkness which has the charm to lull me to sleep, but the best part is, i have the place all to myself. after quite sometime, the place ceased to be mesmerizing and ever since then, i have yet to find a venue which could give off a similar impression :).

the rest of the day continued as how it had started, and it should have ended the same as any other days as well. yeah, 'should have' is the operative word here. i don't exactly advertise my birthdate on my networking profiles nor do i disclose the date to anyone...the next thing i knew, i was presented with a cake with one candle lit. i 'should' be flattered, or even be slightly surprised because i wasn't expecting any of it, but i felt nothing and did nothing except to 'forcefully' give my colleagues a smile as a token of appreciation. yeah, today is my birthday...but that doesn't make it any special than yesterday or tomorrow because i'm just grateful to live another day. besides, i'm not exactly one to celebrate his own birthday haha.

then again, my appreciation goes to these people who took time to wish me personally or sent me a message:
a) my sisters: Gems, Ginds and Inden
b) cousins: Tesz & Kane
c) the gidiots: Mel, Yo & Shan (qualified by default haha)
d) Kupi (the catalyst for the consequent wishes)
e) Gidong
f) Lissa
g) Callixtus@Tom
h) Mamai
i) Gurangak
j) Sebastian@Sabas
k) mesh
l) lastly, to my Colleagues and Ex-colleagues & the 'Dysfunctional Family' :).

So, what exactly did i do on my birthday today? well, i'm now at coffee bean drafting this entry with a friend haha. cheers, ciao and thanks.

ps: i know the belated wishes would flood in after today, so pardon me if your name isn't listed..but do know that your wishes are appreciated just the same :).