it was just couple of days ago when the stress finally caught up to me. i couldn't think of anything else but to relax and have everything out of my mind. so i figured 'hey, what the heck, maybe all i need are a few glasses of beer and everything would be fine' and off i went to a restaurant nearby my workplace for the beer therapy :p.
after few months of sporadic drinking opportunities, i realized it didn't take much for me to get tipsy...3 cans, was all that was needed to get my world spinning hahaha.
during the alone time, i reflected to the places i've been to and people i've met (or saw) and it seems that everyone has their own ways of appreciating and enjoying life. i remember going to a pub few weeks prior and there was this girl who was dancing as if trying to get everyone's attention to herself. normally i would think that she may be..you know..a slut, but on that particular time, i didn't see it that way. all i saw was a girl dancing her heart out oblivious to other people's opinions, she was just having fun as the way she knows it.
then it hit me, i've been to engrossed with seeing how things appear to be rather than what things are really like..and at that same moment, i was hit by a guilt of not really appreciating the things which chances by me and for not enjoying what life really means! i live in my own world, my comfort zone when i could be out there making a difference. i'm afraid of making mistakes (especially the same ones) that i resolved to be in my safe place where i am invincible from anything :). but my world isn't complete and never will be because, it evolves based on my own evolution, it expands based on the experiences i've gathered and right now, its on a halt. i haven't been feeding it with the necessary information for it to continue spinning, i need to be out there and gain as much experience as i can for it to continue evolving :).
after thinking about this and some other random stuff, it occurred to me...I WAS SUPPOSED TO RELAX MY MIND FROM HAVING ANY THOUGHTS, i mean, THE ONLY REASON I WAS DRINKING WAS BECAUSE I NEEDED TO GIVE MY MIND A BREAK!!! hahaha. then again, i am at my best alone..most of the time, my ponderings provides me with the best lessons in life....better than going through the actual experiences hehehe. ciao peeps :)
ps: this is bliss..am on my off day and having my second can of guinness stout alone in my room :)
after few months of sporadic drinking opportunities, i realized it didn't take much for me to get tipsy...3 cans, was all that was needed to get my world spinning hahaha.
during the alone time, i reflected to the places i've been to and people i've met (or saw) and it seems that everyone has their own ways of appreciating and enjoying life. i remember going to a pub few weeks prior and there was this girl who was dancing as if trying to get everyone's attention to herself. normally i would think that she may be..you know..a slut, but on that particular time, i didn't see it that way. all i saw was a girl dancing her heart out oblivious to other people's opinions, she was just having fun as the way she knows it.
then it hit me, i've been to engrossed with seeing how things appear to be rather than what things are really like..and at that same moment, i was hit by a guilt of not really appreciating the things which chances by me and for not enjoying what life really means! i live in my own world, my comfort zone when i could be out there making a difference. i'm afraid of making mistakes (especially the same ones) that i resolved to be in my safe place where i am invincible from anything :). but my world isn't complete and never will be because, it evolves based on my own evolution, it expands based on the experiences i've gathered and right now, its on a halt. i haven't been feeding it with the necessary information for it to continue spinning, i need to be out there and gain as much experience as i can for it to continue evolving :).
after thinking about this and some other random stuff, it occurred to me...I WAS SUPPOSED TO RELAX MY MIND FROM HAVING ANY THOUGHTS, i mean, THE ONLY REASON I WAS DRINKING WAS BECAUSE I NEEDED TO GIVE MY MIND A BREAK!!! hahaha. then again, i am at my best alone..most of the time, my ponderings provides me with the best lessons in life....better than going through the actual experiences hehehe. ciao peeps :)
ps: this is bliss..am on my off day and having my second can of guinness stout alone in my room :)
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