anger...the only emotion i'm damn familiar with. i don't quite understand, but there seems to be a whole lot of anger welling up inside me and i don't know why. i've since learned to keep it in check, substituting it with sarcasm whenever i'm not around family, hoping that it wouldn't leak out in public. given a choice, i would pummel anyone without hesitation or self control but since i am still conscientious of my surroundings, i suppose it'll be kept subdued for the time being.
most of the time i wonder if there's a special place for someone like me to live in..a place where i can be all by myself without having the need to worry, care or think of anyone else, probably a separate dimension i can crawl into and get cut out from the rest of the world, void of all sounds and only to return when the need arises. depressing isn't it...but its not so much as depression, it feels kinda weird. the mood swings, sometimes the sudden irrational fears of meeting people, the unexplainable anger and all these leads to the personal solitary confinement. maybe i'm just tired of putting up a facade..the facade which is masked by the involuntary smile and laughter, maybe i desperately need to be left alone...pathetic isnt it :).
on the other hand, i kinda miss hanging out with friends and do some catching up, but not so much as everyday. probably once a month will do, a sustenance of some sort to the curious mind. geez, maybe there's no cure for my idiosyncrasy eh hahahaha.
most of the time i wonder if there's a special place for someone like me to live in..a place where i can be all by myself without having the need to worry, care or think of anyone else, probably a separate dimension i can crawl into and get cut out from the rest of the world, void of all sounds and only to return when the need arises. depressing isn't it...but its not so much as depression, it feels kinda weird. the mood swings, sometimes the sudden irrational fears of meeting people, the unexplainable anger and all these leads to the personal solitary confinement. maybe i'm just tired of putting up a facade..the facade which is masked by the involuntary smile and laughter, maybe i desperately need to be left alone...pathetic isnt it :).
on the other hand, i kinda miss hanging out with friends and do some catching up, but not so much as everyday. probably once a month will do, a sustenance of some sort to the curious mind. geez, maybe there's no cure for my idiosyncrasy eh hahahaha.
Go figure....
ciao peeps...:D
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