next stop...2010...

yeah hey, 2010 is here (or will be in about few hours time) and everyone's pumped up and it's great that they are being all jolly and happy about it :). but aside from sharing their optimism for another good year ahead, i just don't see the need to celebrate something which, if we look at it rationally, would be the same like any other days...i mean, it's just a date :p.

we humans are strange, it's understandable that we like to have fun. but do we really need an excuse to have one, what more to put a date on it? anyhow, before i'm labeled as the New Year's grinch, i may as well wish everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010! hahaha

what's fun for me may not be fun for you muahahahaha...:p

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2009

in the spirit of Christmas, just wanna wish all readers a very Merry Christmas 2009!! :)

New Year 2010 is just around the corner...:)

dreaming in mid-december...

had a weird tiring dream...nothing scary though. dreamt i was in a big hall with strangers, apparently in some kind of zen influenced martial arts class. we were told to break a wooden board, i refused but my mates insisted. in the end, i gave in...after looking at the rest of the group being unsuccessful at their attempts with a simple knuckle contact technique and being a first timer in the class, i didn't think i could do it. Eventually convinced myself it was all in the mind and the pain is in my control, it's up to me whether i wanna feel it or not and i took my first strike, astounding everyone when the 7" thick board broke.

i was proud of what i did but at the same time ashamed when all eyes were fixed on me. i grabbed my bag and rushed out the front door with a blank mind, i walked until a blinding white light covered my sight and awoke me from my slumber...

see..why can't i have dreams like these as often as before :)..

sometimes we need randomness in our life for it to be more meaningful...:)

the date...

the silent laid back web surfing in the middle of the night was interrupted with the special effect sound from the movie 'Transformers' indicating an incoming message on my handphone. the number didn't seem the least familiar and yet, the message sounded like the person knew me well..

'u out drinking kah?', read the message from the anonymous sender

being casual, i simply replied, 'no...y?', hoping for some kind of hint of who the sender might be

'just thinking of you', came the response...

prior to this message, i was thinking of someone from my past, hoping that the person in my mind would at least give me a call or drop me a message...yeah, wishful thinking hahaha.

'hey thanks, but who is this again?', i asked

'it's me...why do you keep deleting my number?' and instantly recognized who the sender was...

'owh sorry, i didn't delete it...there's something wrong with my phone, it can't read my sim card. so, how have you been doing?', not really serious in knowing the answer... it wasn't an interest, but just being courteous with someone i haven't been in touch for a very long time.

'i've been ok. was thinking of how we were before we met'

'errmm.....well, apparently still the same after we did', that was the best answer i can come up with. i mean, i didn't even understand the question. i recall we only went out on 'a' date (i dont think it's even a date haha), we had coffee at 1 Borneo's San Fransisco coffee, we had a good conversation, it happened 2 years ago and we haven't seen each other since!

sometimes, people misconstrue what dating really is. for most people, dating is a game where you go out with someone of your liking and try your best at impressing them. but for some people, dating is just a move to gather intelligence or information of whether the person is suited to be a companion and eventually 'the' wife or husband hahaha. if you don't receive any call from your date the next day, consider yourself blown hahaha. but if we look at things rationally, a date is nothing more than two people going out together and finding the best in each other within the short period of time.

how exactly does this dating game works? simple, it all depends on each other's chemistry. you go out on a date simply because you like them or there's a remote chance that the both of you might end up being together. some might consider a date as a foreplay to getting into his/her pants while others see a potential for a lasting relationship but either way, it requires the consent of both parties to make it happen :).

then again, how would i know anything about dating. i've been out of it for nearly a year now haha. but i do know one thing though, no relationship is complete without that first date ..for most people that is :). ciao peeps haha :p.

so...what are your thoughts on first dates? :)

the answer to (why?)...:)

as most would've noticed, i haven't been blogging as much as i have been a year ago. hard as i try to complete an entry, i would more often be left hanging with its ending..unable to complete a story. so after a long while, i finally figured the reason behind the closing block...which is, i write just for the sake of updating this blog instead of writing to express what i really feel. i lost sight of why i started this blog in the first place, which is to express my feelings and share my experiences. forcing myself to write totally defeats the initial objective.

there are several reasons (or more accurately, mistakes) to why it happened and one of the major reason is, i was trying hard to make my entries worth reading...but everytime i do, it would end up in my draft folder torn between whether it should be published or left just as it is, obviously the latter triumphed haha.

maybe i've come to realize that i do care about what other people think of what i write, and i should take into account that some (or most) of my readers are people that i know who indirectly (or directly) plays a part in my observation for writing inspirations. i failed to consider that humans can be self-centred and vain, that any resemblance of what was written may be viewed as something which concerns them even when the truth is, it doesn't..well okay, maybe one or two entries (minus the ones i wrote in regards to my unsuccessful relationship haha) and that was only because i was provoked to retaliate hahaha. but my mind works best when i don't have to worry about what other people think.

now herein where my dilemma resides, should i write as how my observation dictates or should i refrain from doing so or else face the gallows of being judged and probably criticized or ostracized for using my own experiences as a mode of inspiration? haha, what am i talking about..the obvious answer is already there! to write means having a muse, and a muse is where our inspiration presents itself. so why would one choose a writer's block over a muse right? hahaha.

this time around when inspiration dictates me to write, i will willingly do its bidding (only if i deem it fit) hahaha. so to all readers, expect more consistent entries in the future. if any of you has something against what i write, rest assured that it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with me because it is myself under scrutiny when i do post an entry. it's my life, my senses, my psyche and my experiences under the microscope. ciao peeps..:).

sometimes, answers would come from the most unexpected sources...:)

of pills and sickness...:)

Doc: ok, inhale and exhale..

i did what the doc told me and i can hear myself wheezing when exhaling. this wasn't my first doctor visit in 2 weeks. my first appointment with a different practitioner seemed a bit dodgy, his prognosis of my initial sickness was 'bladder infection' and i asked him how does one get a bladder infection because it sounded quite unbelievable, all he said was it could be caused by 'active' sexual activities (and i went like...WHAT?!! i've been celibate for quite sometime now hahaha) or some other stuff. he prescibed me with painkillers and antibiotics which my instinct told me not consume it. yeah, i got better but my coughing stayed on for another week and the cough expectorants wasn't doing me any good, hence the second opinion..:p.

Doc: have you ever had asthma before?

Me: when i was a child. did it come back?

Doc: emm..not exactly. what you're having is a prolonged.... (bla bla bla bla, couldn't exactly recall what he was saying as i was distracted by some of the paraphernilia inside the clinic hahaha)

until..

Me: a what?

Doc: one particular medicine will make your heart beat faster, so if that happens and your hands begin to shake, don't be frightened..it's supposed to do just that.

my brain processor went into hyper mode looking for the reasoning behind it and figured the quickened palpitations could be the effect of the opening of the lung's airway for easy breathing. the doctor somewhat confirmed the theory later on...well, somewhat haha.

Me:coooool!! (grinning from ear to ear as i was oddly excited by it hahaha)

..............

PREDNISOLONE/ 6 pills, once a day - asthma, phlegm, cough

KASTIPRON/ 2 pills, 3 times a day- cough

BROXINE/ 2 pills, 3 times a day-

CETRIZINE- 1 tablet, once a day

VENTOLU (rmp)?-1 tablet, 3 times a day

i was prescribed with a list of medicines and in my whole life, i don't think i've ever swallowed more than 4 pills a day (except for vitamins :p) even when i got sick, so it kinda freaked me out. so, what exactly do i have?...

.....

.....

.....

BRONCHITIS!! hahahaha. no biggie, i will be fine in no time :).

man, i'm beginning to feel like a sickly old man..really do need to quit smoking, sooner the better hahaha.

Ciao peeps :)

December 2009...

It's the 1st of December, which means:

a) I have been officially single for nearly one whole year ( haha)

b) 24days until Christmas

c) 30days until New year 2010

d) I've been with my new company for approximately 5 months

and most of all...

e) IT'S FREAKING END OF THE YEAR! Time flies by so fast nowadays hahaha...

sacrificial offering for the coming new year anyone? :)

Cheers peeps :)