Tuesday, March 6, 2012

grieving for a loss...

today, i ran over a kitten. the sound of its final yelp when my tyre crushed its skull and its spastic movements leading to its death is going to haunt me for a very long time.

i'd like to say it was an accident and i shouldn't feel too bad about it...but the thing is, it was my ignorance that led to the accident. maybe i wouldn't feel as bad if it happened on a busy highway, unfortunately it happened at a red light.

the kitten went under my car and i should've checked before driving off when the light turned green. i shouldn't have cared about what the drivers behind would think or do if i had just taken a moment to stop and look...in other words, i am to be blamed for what had happened.

i looked into the rear view mirror and there it was the kitten writhing in pain on the road. i immediately stopped my car, something i should've done earlier, got out and ran about 10 meters to where the kitten was. there were no second thoughts, i picked up the kitten disregarding its bowel excrement, ran back to the car and sped off thinking i might be able to reach the vet which was 20km away all the while hoping that its injury wasn't fatal...but deep down i knew it wasn't going to make it or rather, i wasn't going to reach the clinic in time. bragged as Malaysia's administration center with all the hype of being a peaceful, harmonious and green city, it's sad that Putrajaya lacks any veterinary services.

5 minutes later, the kitten stopped moving and it felt like my world came crashing down.

i'm not much of a crier but my tears swelled up in my eyes and dried up before they had a chance to fall. after 15minutes of driving aimlessly, i found a grove and laid its tiny feline body to rest.

i wish i could turn back time and do the right thing.

a lesson learned, at a cost of a life....

6 comments:

Joan said...

at least you tried.. cukup bagus sudah tu.

sa baca blog post ko pun sa sedih juga. huhuhu.

the kitten now is in cat heaven :)

JerryInc said...

and i still can't get the experience out of my head

SiGracy said...

menyesal sa baca post ko...ish...bikin sakit hati....demet...RIP Lil Kitty :(

Fridaycat said...

ala Jer, sorry to hear it - i cannot imagine how you feel. I know this isn't an excuse but accidents DO happen, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Claire said...

:( I understand Jerry. It happen to me before. Just don't be too hard on yourself k. God bless. RIP Kitty.

JerryInc said...

not to be dramatic..but i constantly think of the bump when i ran the kitty over and how frightened it was when it went hiding under my car...