Tuesday, March 2, 2010

a gush of contentment...

i just have to say this....for the past couple of days (or weeks, i'm not too sure when it happened haha) i've been feeling very contented. it could've been because of all the public holidays we've been having here but that fact itself isn't really convincing as to how my contentment arose. yeah, the outings and hangout sessions played a part in the change but not so much as the main reason. apparently, in between the holidays, work and weekend drinking binges, i've been contemplating and analyzing my own life without even realizing it...

after weeks of subconscious contemplation, it finally hit me that i've finally let go. i mean, for two years i held on to that hope of being with that special someone..probably a chance to be together again, but it only took me a few minutes to understand the full concept of 'some things are just not meant to be'. i keep telling people the same exact phrase without actually believing in it..maybe after saying it so many times i've begun to believe it myself. despite being a sore 'dumpee' (yeah, i got dumped haha), i never held any grudges...in fact, i prayed that the both of us would be happy either single or with someone else and it seems that we are happy, though i'm still single since then hahaha.

hanging out with happy couples helped a lot in coming to terms with the realization. looking at them being all warm and happy towards each other made me wanting to have something similar...yeah, i am envious but i believe my chance will come, only time will tell. then again, i'm not really in a hurry to be in a relationship :).

speaking of relationships...something tells me that i have commitment issues. it's not exactly new to me, in fact i kind of have known about it for quite sometime now. probably my inability to fully trust someone or the fear of getting disappointed has something to do with it hahaha...maybe i'll go deeper into this someday after i've figured it out hahaha. so for the time being, i'll learn my lessons from other peoples' experiences and point of views, which means i'll be doing something i'm really good at...observing haha.

geez, writing all these down feels good...wonder why i have been skipping it( i meant blogging) all this while? hahaha...

Ciao peeps...

4 comments:

Wel^Beiolman said...

sampai hati ko tinggalkan aku jerryster..haha...

leks ko sana...janda la suda ko ni kan..haha...lebih kurang sja ba kita tu...people keep saying time will heal..sepa bilang?kasi senang hati sja tu...haha..not time but kita sendiri yg mau kasi heal tu hati..haha..

JerryInc said...

arrgghh welster, ko bukan my type bah hahaha...

woiii, bukan janda ah...a 're-born' hahaha. tp btl jg lah, it all depends on us whether we wanna be healed or not, not time :)...bijak jg ko ni ah hahahaha

cLaiRe Bennet said...

wakaka.pintar juga pula ni dua 'ster ni.btw Jerryster, jaga2 kau ah menulis cni..sy pny daya observing pun buli tahan buli lawan kau juga tau.wakaka i can tell..i can tell..:D Just do whatever you want to do bah. Pple said time will heal? Fark that. In your own way, your own time.

p/s tp kan, kalau sy, sy mau oh jump into something unknown or uncertain. Forget about the trust or fear. Surprises. And it'll be hell of a satisfaction if i get through it. seh~ ckp ja ni. lol

JerryInc said...

claire...jinjeres bah to jump into something unknown..tp buli jugalah, terpaksa bersedia awal lah hahaha

ps: ko pun ada 'ster' bah tu hahaha