coffee? no thank you...:)

'i'm sleepy!!!'

'go make yourself some coffee...'

'but I don't drink coffee'

'oh yeah? why?

'dunno, probably because i prefer tea more...?'

this is more or less the scenario i go through whenever i tell anyone that i'm feeling sleepy or lethargic, it seems that coffee is the answer to everyone who isn't up and running.

sometimes, it annoys me to tell people that 'i don't drink coffee', knowing full well what their response of either words or expression would be like :). then again, i've been asking the same question myself as well, why don't i drink coffee?. honestly, there is no reason for me not to drink coffee, i mean, i'm not allergic to it or do i hate the taste and smell of it... in fact, i love the aroma of coffee beans and freshly brewed coffee!

one thing i'm pretty sure is, coffee has no significance on me whatsoever :). the so called caffeine content is ineffective to the likes of me, i could drink coffee and still be sleepy! in light of this, i'm proud to say that i am invicible to two substances...caffeine and marijuana hahaha.

i intended to elaborate more on coffee, its pros and cons...but decided otherwise because, i suddenly felt like not doing it hahaha. google it up yourself peeps :).

ps: this is quite a short entry isn't it...then again, what the heck :). ciao...

the lethargic theory of dreams :)

things has been a bit slow in the office today, but despite the lagged atmosphere...i still managed to get my mind worked up with the pending invoices from my suppliers which has been laying in my in tray unattended for the past couple of weeks, and as i shifted through each and every one of it, i found a couple of invoices dated since last year. darn it, that explains why the supplier has been chasing me for the payment haha. anyhow, all those calculations and follow ups has left me a bit worn out (what can i say...maths always gets my brain tired haha).

the lethargy which stemmed from the nightmares last night didn't do me much good as well. having a nightmare isn't exactly being granted a peaceful sleep and dreaming of two nightmares in both attempts of having an assured rest is like stepping on dog shit twice haha. then again, i kind of appreciate the dreams though. it has been a long time since i had any weird dreams and i was beginning to wonder if there was anything wrong with me hahaha.

dreams, be it bad or good, is just another way of escaping the harsh reality of life. since i'm always in control of my dreams (in a sense that i know i'm in a dream whilst still dreaming), i would take it as a simulator to some of the obvious events that might happen in the future, a preparation of some sort. although the dreams never turn out exactly as how it's supposed to be, but at least, the proxy of situations are close enough to make a deduction of garnering the best possible decision :).

yeah, it is true that when our mind are cluttered with confusion, we tend to encounter nightmares of different sorts and most of us would wake up before the nightmare ends. but if we were to stay on with the dream and overcome the situation, i can assure you that a small part of the confusion will be stripped away leaving you feeling better than you were the day before (that is if you didn't die in your dreams muahahaha, just kidding :p).

on the other hand, i would like to propose a theory on how dreams may affect a person's memory. we know for a fact that our memories would gradually fade away as we age due to the mortality rate of our brain cells. but, if it is true that our memory dies with the cells, isn't it logical to think that it would disappear as immediate as how it was formed in the first place?

okay, so our brain cells wouldn't die instantly, probably it takes time for it to degenerate. in that period, we could theoretically assume the memory would try re-invent itself into something else via dreams instead of transferring itself entirely to another cell because, theoretically speaking, the cells have this understanding among themselves that any new cells which comes to birth has their own duty of creating new memories for the host, so full transference is not even an option.

since it couldn't be transferred as a whole, the old memories would try to make its mark by embedding itself in dreams, hoping the subconscious mind would take note of it and start delegating the bits and pieces in several parts into the existing cells without being too imposing. this could probably be the reason why we couldn't remember our dreams after (give and take) 7 minutes of waking up because by the end of it, the dream has been broken up in fragments due to the unavailability of allocated memory cells for the re-invention of full memory transference, and since memory is without form, it should be feasible to akin dreams to energy, it can't be destroyed but it can be manipulated or transferred :).

so what about those who could remember their dreams upon waking up? well, it could be deduced that the dreams were so profoundly real it made an impact to the mind (which has happened to me on several occasions, i couldn't even tell if it was a dream or an actual event hahaha) or the dreams could be remembered when we instantly and conciously jot down the details upon waking up :).

ps: damn it....this is dumb hahaha...then again, there are still a lot more to discover about us humans...right? ciao peeps :)...

yeah right...whatever :)

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

heartless you say? :)

today, i decided to work half day at noon time because i couldn't get myself up and running this morning due to my late night net surfing. the moment i stepped into the office, i realized all my colleagues were hyped up about a murder case which came out in the local dailies yesterday mainly because the victim's wife used to be our colleague.

i got to know the news earlier from a reliable source, but decided to ignore it completely. i mean, there's no point for me to indulge in irrelevant stuff like this when it has nothing to do with me right. even when my boss and colleagues talked to me about it, all i said was...'people live and people die, it's all a matter of when and how' only to be sneered at. i know it sounded cold, but what can i say, i didn't feel anything about what had happened so i wasn't obliged to show or pretend that i cared.

i think my boss tried to convince me to be a bit compassionate to the news but i told her that if i were to read in the newspaper about a dog which got stuck and died in a ditch and a news about a man shot or murdered, my pity would go to the dog. apparently the response didn't bring me anywhere close to being awarded the most compassionate guy in the office :).

i dunno about anyone else, but i'm pretty comfortable with not being able to feel anything. i mean, life for me is much more simpler if i relied on logic rather than the ever confusing human emotions. i can't really say it's an improvement for me, when in fact, i used to be like this before. you could say...it's more like getting back to being the person i was before, the old new me hahaha.

honestly, i don't really care if my colleagues think i'm one heartless bastard.. because as long as i'm happy with the way i am now, i couldn't give a damn about what they think and besides, i'm pretty sure they would come up to me for opinions when they need someone whois level headed to help clear up their clouded minds...as usual :).

life is good :). ciao peeps...

the 2.30am maybes..damn it hehe

the clock on the wall shows it's 2.30am and yet, i couldn't sleep. probably the anime marathon i did earlier has something to do with me staying up late (could be the main reason!). knowing that i will be working later isn't helping with the agitated feeling i have been experiencing the whole day.

after giving it a deep thought, it felt like something is missing...well, it has been that way for awhile now but only today did it feel the strongest. if only i could pin-point the source probably i won't feel so restless..hmmmphh. i know i'm not sad because everything is going just well with me and i know i'm not depressed because i dont feel like committing suicide (hahaha).

maybe..just maybe, i need to remember something which i have forgotten. then again, if i have forgotten, doesn't that mean it wasn't worth remembering in the first place? and isn't that what forgetting means.. the inability to remember?

but...in some cases, isn't it strange that we could remember and forget at the same time? it's like looking back at ourselves when we were kids...we remember being at a particular park but couldn't remember the exact details of it and the only reason we couldn't remember it is because...there's no point in remembering the past when it no longer matters, heck..i couldn't remember much of my childhood or my teenage years come to think of it hahaha, maybe that's my specialty, being ignorant :p.


or maybe...i'm just tired and in need of new experiences to motivate me :).

goodnite peeps and ciao...

snapped...

for the first time after years of working in this company, i finally snapped at a colleague of mine. i know i should apologize for being a prick, but that's just it...i'm not even the least sorry for what i did :).

i don't think i've ever been so stressed out to the point of verbally expressing it out loud. then again...you know how the saying goes, there's always a first time for everything :).

okay..i do feel slightly guilty, but there's a limit to everyone's patience :)...

ps: would be great if i could tell them, 'I AM NOT A MIRACLE WORKER!' hahaha

ramblings of a blogger...

Been awhile since i last posted anything haven't i? honestly i tried, but at the last moment i decided to save it as draft. you might be wondering why and frankly...i don't quite know the reason :).

maybe the fact that my rambling thoughts seem to revolve around my personal life has something to do with it...but don't get me wrong. when i first opened up this blog and the rest of my blogs, i knew i would be rambling mostly about my thoughts and my own personal life, and i was fully aware that i would be making my life an open book for everyone else to read.

what i didn't expect was my tendency to go into details of what exactly i'm going through and the more i think of it..the more i realize, no one really gives a damn about me since they themselves have their own agenda to attend to :).

but then again, how can i not ramble about my own personal stuff when what i've been trying to express is what life is all about in relation to my experiences. yeah..i try to talk about life with me being the basis or subject of observation, comparing my thoughts and experiences to similar individuals or questioning my curiousities and confusions hoping to find the conformations from people who may have the answers. after years of being a blogger, i can safely say that blogging, reading or writing has been therapeutic to both mind and soul :).

as i went through my postings...i realized that i have several old drafts waiting in line to be posted...and from the looks of things, it would probably be kept unpublished indefinitely :).

ciao peeps....

ps: hmm...i think depression just set in, damn it hahaha