it's another new year!

crap, the new year is fast approaching and i have yet to come up with anything solid for my resolution. then again, the hell with new year's resolution...i'm just gonna live my life the best i know how. heck, everything is turning out just fine for me hahaha.

but i have done some personal retrospection and i'm very well versed with my strengths and weaknesses and i realized that i haven't lived up to my true potential. so, come new year i will live up to my reputation as the guy you wanna hang out with (that is if you can accept my sarcastic, sanguine and care-less attitude haha) because generally, i could be fun and interesting if i wanted to or given the situation hahaha.

yeah, i intend to do everything and have fun every chance i can get without compromising the coolness in me by being in a relationship or flirtatious liaisons hahaha. i know this may sound sick, but i am honestly enjoying my life as a single pathetic dude...i'm not even considering to have a housemate to share the burden! hahaha. despite loving the solidarity, i do miss my pals back home, especially the ladies who could make me laugh like no other (yeah, the gidiots haha).

okay peeps, time to hit the sack. merry (belated) christmas and happy new year! cheers :D

christmas what?

normally, at this time of the year i would be enjoying myself with lots of booze regardless of whether i am with family, friends or alone. but this year around, not only am i not back in my own hometown, i even got the fever which puts my christmas celebration plannings, which is not exactly fun to begin with, to a stall. so, what did i do on christmas eve and day?

obviously, there's nothing much to be done when it feels like you're on your deathbed hahaha. i've been sleeping alot, been swallowing panadol pills and cough syrup and been watching reruns of Bones, CSI and Eureka (good thing my astro was activated right before the holidays haha).

despite feeling uncomfortable and weak, something good actually came out of being sick:

a) it inhibited my need for a cigarette.
b) i've been sleeping alot, which means i've been catching up on my much deserved rest.

well, so much for christmas optimism. in my case, no miracles happened and i am stuck with spending christmas alone with only my tv and internet hahaha.

Cheers :D

bribery is a two way street :)

how trusted can our law enforcers be? now that is the question. all my life i have never resorted to bribe someone to get my way around, or even thought of accepting any form of bribery. not because of moral ethics but simply because i was never in a position to commit such unlawful deeds. but a recent experience has given me a different insight on why bribery still persists despite the widescale efforts to curb it, yeah...i experienced it first hand.

to cut it short, i was asked to pullover by a policeman for cutting a double line. i admit i was at fault and willing to accept whatever was thrown at me but even then, i didn't think of trying to bribe the officer. but what was supposed to be a quick affair was dragged on for another 30-40minutes with the officer asking (or maybe trying to make small talk) silly questions. after 10 minutes, i kinda knew what the officer wanted, but i wasn't going to take a chance of being caught red handed for offering bribes.

throughout the conversation, i took note of several hints which the officer was subtly suggesting:

a) Minum Kopi (drink coffee)

- when my colleague sitting next to me tried to get a pardon (which i told her not to. you can blame it on my ego but i wasn't going to beg for a pardon of something which i clearly did. my reason was, he was just doing his job), the officer rebutted, 'saya cuma menjalankan tugas, kalau tidak, lebih baik saya lepak di kedai sambil minum kopi' (i'm only doing my job or i would be better off drinking coffee in a shop).

b) Gentlemen

- he kept on asking me, how am i going to settle this and i kept telling him, 'if it is already my fault, just give me the ticket and i'll settle it at the station'. but he kept asking the same question over and over again and said 'okay, let's be gentlemen. how do you say we should settle this?'

c) Price Naming

- Unsure of my own judgment, i played along being the naive and innocent road user. he then called me out from the car and he proceeded to bombard me with the same questions and this time i told him 'there's nothing much to be done, if you give me the ticket then i would have to pay at the station, end of story'. then came the gentlemen talk again, and by this time i was pretty sure he wanted a bribe so i told him 'saya cuma boleh bagi 2 *ikan merah' (i can only give two red fishes), i learned this trick from my policemen classmates back in Uni. instead he said *ikan merah cannot cut it and i asked what is it does he want, of which he replied 'RM50'.

i found it bold of him to quote the price straight away and frankly very dissapointed. i've heard stories of how the law enforcers are mostly made up of corrupt government employees, but i didn't think i would actually meet one personally.

anyway, in my defence i would like to state that i would be okay to pay the RM150 fine. but i was quite curious on how does one get involved in bribery hence the unlawful and unethical action :D. but this wouldn't have taken place if the officer did not pester us and just issue the damn ticket straightaway :p.

*ikan merah (red fish) is a term to describe a RM10 bill.

then again, i'm not blaming the officer for what had transpired. after all, it takes two to make it happen...

DAMN YOU ASTRO!!

it's few minutes to 12am and i just got back from work. thinking i might be able to relax and enjoy whatever is showing on the tv, i actually convinced myself that the tiredness would subside once i plopped myself on the couch and do some channel surfing.

the 15minutes drive back home felt like it was worth signing up for the ASTRO services despite their slow activation, i was pretty sure my account would be activated today after the numerous complaints to get it up and running. unfortunately, that wasn't the case. the moment i switched on the tv and decoder, the same frustrating message appeared on the screen 'Please insert the correct Astro smart card or call the Astro customer service for assistance'. my anger suddenly rose, i decided to call the customer service representative to vent out my anger. while waiting to be patched through the rep, i reconsidered the option of blowing the head of the next unlucky person who answers my call...i decided to vent my frustration instead of anger because, being more or less in the same customer service oriented field, i kind of understand what it feels like to be suddenly shouted at by an unknown stranger.

'good evening and thank you for calling Astro, this is Mona speaking...(or some shitty greeting like that)'

'yeah good evening Mona, my name is Jeremy and my IC number is XXXx.......', in a very monotonous tone. it sounded fair to introduce myself and give out my ID number straightaway knowing that they would be asking it anyway.

'how may i help you mr. jeremy?'

'this is my third time complaining and i would like to have a straight answer, when will my account be really activated?'

'when was the your astro installed sir?', i was kind of pissed off at this stupid question. i wanted to shout at her, 'woman, i just gave you my full name and ic number, i've even told you this is my third time complaining. can't you just look into the system for heaven's sake?!!!'...yeah, but i did not. instead, i politely replied in the same monotonous voice, 'last saturday'.

'could you wait for a moment sir', of which i replied yes.

after one or two minutes of being put on hold to listen to the crappy music or message that was played, 'thank you for waiting sir, i've checked in the system and it'll take approximately 2 weeks for your account to be activated'.

'TWO WEEKS?!', i raised my voiced a little bit. i wanted to bring up the previous response which said that my account would be activated within 24hours (which by this time, it has been more than 48 hours since my last complaint) but thought it would be a waste of time. 'tell me, what's the point of having my decoder installed just to wait for it to be activated in 2 weeks time or probably more? it sounds silly doesn't it?', i was hoping she would get my hint that if i were to wait for two weeks for it to be activated, i might as well sign up two weeks later instead of spending rm200 for the recent installation.

she went on to explain something about a system upgrade which i didn't really give a shit, 'Mona, i'm not blaming you for the bad service, i'm blaming your company. Please do understand my frustration, i just came home from work and i was hoping i might be able to enjoy some kind of entertainment on my tv. but after three days of continuous complainings, nothing has been done yet and you expect me two wait for another two weeks for my account to be activated? that is really unacceptable. if you look in the system, it has been noted that my request is urgent. is this how you (people) treat urgent matters?

silence...

'mona, like i said, i'm not blaming you for the slow service. but what i would really appreciate you to do is send a note or an email to your management or anyone for that matter, and tell them i would like my account activated tomorrow before i come back from work at 6pm. can you do that?'

'ok sir, i will send them a note, but i cannot guarantee that your account will be activated tomorrow'. for those working in the customer service line, let me remind you that this is not the answer you want to tell to your frustrated clients because we do not want to know that it cannot be done. be smart, play around with your words..give them something tactful to look forward to. one golden rule is, just do not lie to them.

'i don't care, just tell them that i would like my account activated tomorrow by hook or by crook'.

i dont think i sounded like an ass did i? i was merely stating the obvious.

anyhow, this wasn't a good day for me. just this morning i had to bribe a police officer to keep him from giving me traffic violation fine..but that will be another story to tell in my next entry...

cheers peeps...

what's the rush?,....

27 more days until Christmas!!! and frankly, i'm not that excited. come to think of it, i'm not sure if i've ever been excited about Christmas. when everyone's out there shopping for Christmas trees and presents, i'm here in my own little world asking the same questions over the years ,'what's the rush?' hahaha.

i don't see any reason to celebrate Christmas except for the holidays. if we look into the history of how christmas came about, it's not much of a religious celebration but more to a twisted plot of a certain religious body to assimilate the pagans into God fearing people and waddya know...it worked, well okay, not so much on the god fearing side though haha. so if you think our Lord Jesus was born on December 25th, you have another thing coming for you :D.

anyhow, despite the misleading tales and lessons we tell our children or peers about Christmas, the centuries old effort of promoting the date as a special day turned out to be a blessing in disguise. whenever christmas is nearing, you can actually feel the joy and warmth of the festivity and prolongs until the new year's arrival, and the best part is you don't have to be a Christian to experience all these! :D.

Christmas is a season of giving and forgiving and where love and kindness are spread regardless of who or what you are.....damn it, that sounded wrong doesn't it? aren't we supposed to do that like every other days, hours and minutes regardless of whether it's christmas or not? there you go, another example of how society and religion can brainwash us into shaping our beliefs hahaha.

you my think that i'm a grinch who have something against Christmas, trust me..i don't haha. it's just that, i don't feel as excited as everyone else when Christmas time comes near. it's nice to hear people laughing, seeing people smiling and doing good deeds, but it would be great if all these could remain like it all through the year and not only when Christmas approches.

so what do i look forward to when christmas approaches? if you guessed the presents then you're way over your head! hahaha. i like christmas not because of the date or the season or the presents. i like christmas because this is one of those times where people can be seen as sincerely happy, and a time where friends and family gather. besides, i've known (hopefully i wasn't the only one in the family whose hope of being showered with presents by a red suited fat man was dashed by the wonders of reality at an early age) that santa clause doesn't exist even before i turned 7 and never expected that tooth fairies would appear if we hid our tooth under the pillow hahahaha. despite not believing in these mystical beings, i do still believe in magic as a kid and until now :D.

ever since i started my tenure here in a foreign place, i could feel the pull to return back to my hometown and celebrate the year-end celebration with friends and family. i think i am a little homesick or maybe i'm, just lost to what else to do or where else to go to spend my remaining holiday since most of my firends and colleagues won't be around during that period hahaha.

okay, i'm spouting nonsense again..geez. cheerio peeps hahaha

a rodent's life is still a life...

the first thing i noticed when i went through today's paper was this headline 'Rodent Threat' published in the STAR's Star Metro section only because i was interested with how are they going to deal with the issue and also i'm a sucker when it comes to animals. cruelty to rats is still animal cruelty to me.

anyhow, it's only natural for humans to be disgusted by these furry rodents. aside from its growth spurt which can be as big as a house cat and their mean look, these animals are also the harbinger of death famously known for its deadly piss, the main cause for leptospirosis (i think..maybe i should do my homework haha).

anyhow, the reports have shown the booming numbers of rat infestation in klang valley and sentul and also, quite tactfully, potrayed these places a dumpsite. i mean, isn't it obvious? and what actually ticked me off was, they're blaming the rats for procreating! which rat wouldn't want to continue their family legacy here, it's a haven for them hahaha.

it's fine to express dissatisfaction over this matter, but it's not fine at all if you're blaming the rats for the problem when in fact, the problem could be dealt with if everyone played their part in ensuring cleanliness and hygiene in their areas. don't be expecting the municipal councils to do the clean up job because even if they're under the taxpayers' money to do the dirty job, they're still human. they're being paid to keep the city clean, not to clean up our mess. it's like hiring someone to clean up our ass after taking a dump.

the best they can do is to clear up the area at designated times (not everyday!) and everyone have to lend a hand in keeping the place clean after the clean up. it's a matter of taking responsibility on your own compund and area. but maybe these people doesn't understand this, and if they don't, i could safely say that they have a very weak family foundation and thoroughly selfish and can only hope that their home inside is as messy as it is outside..like the person themselves.

one thing that people don't realize is that, these rodents have lived far longer than any humans and they're generally adeptable to their surrounding. poisons wont work effectively because over a period of time being exposed to such chemicals, they would be immune to the effect and thus creating a super-rat which would take more than designated poisons to eliminate them.

there're certain cultures, especially in Asia where people consume these rodents as delicacies, it's not only served deliciously on a dish but it also serves as a control and preventative measure over the rat population. maybe we should serve these critters in restaurants, in that way we wont have to worry about running low on meat hahaha. then again, just to remind you guys that rat consumption is not allowed for both Islam and Christian...and Jewish i suppose (for Christians, refer to Leviticus 11:29).

what i'm trying to say here is that, before we blame our municipal for not doing their work or blame the RODENTS for existing (which most dumbassess do), just remember that it only takes a little effort to maintain cleanliness and hygiene. Be a responsible society.

the classical tales in modern times...

i had a chat with a parent, and being thirty and still single we came to talking about marriage and children. normally when this happens, the topic would tend to lean towards the one question i dont quite like being asked, the million dollar question of...'so, when's your turn?'. it's not that i'm ashamed of being single it's just that, i don't see any relevance for them to be in the loop to my private life.

good thing i had the forsight or the spidey sense to know (like many other times) what's going to happen next, so before the conversation started leaning towards my bachelorhood i took the oppotunity to be the conversation playmaker and keep the ball in his court by talking about his children.

from what i've been told, nothing much have changed in the country's primary education system since the last time i was in their shoes (which is like...AGES ago hahaha). but one thing that caught my attention was the book the children are reading now. looking back, in my primary years i don't quite remember having to read any other English story books but the ones from the text book or the local children tales which are of course all in Malay..but the children nowadays are starting off with works by Enid Blyton as their reading materials! i mean how lucky are they? during my time, i had to go to a library or borrow from my classmates to read those classics!

anyhow, it's great that these children are exposed to international literature at an early age but hopefully they know how to balance it with our own local literatures..especially the classic ones because some of them are worth reading. i dont quite read much on Malay novels simply because...their writing style are (in my opinion after having read several) all the same. the drama, the plot, the nostalgia are all predictable (and the same goes to most of the Malay movies and dramas, that's why i don't watch much of them anyway). but when it comes to classical fairy tales, i can say that they are on par with any other international publishings out there. i grew up reading 'batu belah batu bertangkup', 'malim deman', bawang putih, bawang merah', 'si tanggang' and some others i couldn't recall and despite their tendency to include all those unnecessary poetries or rhymes or adianoetas, i was able to follow it without any difficulty..heck, even my classmates would come up to me asking for an explanation the same way i would go to them when i have difficulty with my maths (yeah, i wasn't so bright back then...or even now hahaha).

One thing great about these stories are the lessons and values imparted to all the readers, not to mention how much it reflects our own people and nation both in good and bad portrayals. and here we are buying other books in our quest to be better people when in fact we can just read these classical tales and improve from then on. sometimes, we need to retain our child-like qualities for a clear mind and being simple could be the best way to look at things :).

maybe all those abuse i got from my mom for not being able to read before reaching 7 and the inability to differentiate the small 'b' and 'd' was a torture in blessing hahaha. i wonder, why didn't it work on my maths? hahaha

ps: how do we translate 'cerita rakyat' in english?...hmmmm

the single life..part deux

hmmm, come to think of it, the title itself is quite catchy. maybe i should open up another blog by that name right? :D. anyhow, in continuation to my previous post on the same title minus the 'part deux', i did another round of home cooking, single's style haha.

how it came about? well, it started with a text message from my youngest sister asking me to take her out for lunch which coincidentally i haven't had mine yet. but at the last minute, she canceled and i was left with an empty stomach. but no biggie, it's not like i needed someone to have lunch with. the only problem was, i didn't know what and where to eat (yeah, i'm picky...what can i say haha). so i decided i might as well cook...which wasn't quite a good idea when you have no inkling of what exactly that you feel like having, plus, there's nothing in the fridge to cook haha.

so, i hopped into my car, went to Giant and did some grocery shopping, and after awhile of walking not knowing what to get, i ended buying most stuff which may not work out when it comes to culinary preparation hahaha.

yeah, i bought the bag for only RM1.99 to fit in all my groceries as part of my social responsibility to cut down plastic bag usages. this is my second bag, had to get it because i left the other one at home.

ok, some of the things that i bought were, a packet of yellow noodles, a tin of campbell's instant soup, carrots, tomatoes, vegetables and shitake mushrooms...which i still have no idea how or what exactly was i going to cook. finally, i decided on these items for my lunch/dinner:

yeah, had to thrown in the eggs as it feels like something is missing...

okay, so two eggs are enough hahaha

i was actually salivating just thinking about these mushrooms, i love mushrooms as much as i love cabbages haha

and the end result........................

haha, being single isn't so bad after all! :D

by the time i was done with all these, i seem to have lost my appetite. one thing about cooking is that, it's no fun when you have to cook for yourself. it's more meaningful if we have someone to share it with. that explains why my ex-housemate would rather eat out everytime i decline his offer to cook something haha.

cheers! :D

the demise of blogs...

it seems that the blogosphere is thinning out or it has taken a different path over the past few years...a downward path to dullness into non-existent.

i remember when i first started blogging about 5 or 6 years ago, it was fun reading other peoples' entries. reading their personal encounters and experiences gave me an insight of how other people are doing or into their psyche/ behaviour. my personal favourites are the ones with dry sarcasms or with a sprinkle of humor, and i do still keep up with some of the blogs.

but nowadays, i seldom see quality blogs such as these anymore. it's either most of these people have retired from blogging or the blogging trend isn't as appealing as how it used to be. there was a period when i could spend countless hours blog hopping whereby now the blog hopping sessions would end in just a matter of minutes...yeah, that's how bad i think the blogosphere has deteriorated. or maybe, i haven't been browsing hard enough.

come on people, re-live the blogging moments. i know that doogie howser md is still somewhere within you! :)

the single life...

I came home from work quite late and being single you either have a choice if dining in or dining out with the latter being the easier or rationale choice to make if you’re darn hungry or damn lazy. But tonight, I needed to do something to relieve some stress which has been bugging from the moment I stepped into the office this morning.

I would’ve hit the gym, I mean I should start hitting the gym once again and sweat the stress out but unfortunately, I still haven’t gotten my pair of sports shoes and I have yet to shop for my gym pants. so I drove around a bit before stopping by a row of shops intending to just browse some stuff. The browsing didn’t last long because in no time, I had bags of food items bought to stock up my supplies.

Upon reaching home, the nagging stress that needs to be rid off was still ingering, and after a moment of contemplation, I had my body go into auto mode and just let it do whatever it wants. And this time, it wants to cook :).

And so I cooked, nothing fancy… just the standard single guy kind of food choice, but with a twist. Instead of having plain ‘maggi’, I decided to make fried maggi instead…with lots and lots of onions. I was so into the auto mode that i wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. I tore up 5 packets of maggi, cut up 20 pieces of red onions and opened 3 cans of sardines (frankly I had no idea why the sardines needed to be opened :p). the end result…WASTAGE! Okay, not exactly wasted as I can put the leftovers in the fridge and probably down it all tomorrow evening (if I still have the appetite).

Full and contented, the dishes were simply left in the sink and i went straight to the couch to have a ciggy in the dark. As I was enjoying the sensation of the smoke burning my lungs, which is of course detrimental to my health, I realized that my place is quite..so eerily quite that I could practically hear the gecko jaywalking on the ceiling haha. And then suddenly it came to me that I no longer am stressed out and instead I was at peace with the silence and the absence of another human being in the pad. It was a comforting bliss…

After momentarily basking in the peace and silence, I walked to the fridge, swung its door wide open, took out the half sliced 3kg watermelon and ATE it all in just a matter of minutes…and here I am still contemplating HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO LOSE THIS EXTRA WEIGHT!!

Darn it… :D

the warring of religions...

it's either you have to like it, hate it or just ignore it. that's my thought when it comes to religion. i don't have anything against beliefs in general, but when it causes pain, heartcahe, injury or death i have my doubts on why people need to have a religion in the first place.

religions are meant to guide humans to be better people, and it teaches us to love and respect people for their differences. it pains me and a whole lot of like minded humans out there to read about people getting hurt under the pretense of religious duties.

i'm not condemning any religion in particular, i'm just saying it in a general context. who am i to judge who is wrong and who is right when i don't even know the answer to it. but one thing i do know and very certain is that, NO RELIGION TELLS ANYONE TO KILL, PLUNDER OR CAUSE HARM TO ANOTHER HUMAN. yeah, i am well aware of the religious wars which had happened in midieval times and i am still not in agreement with it either, i mean, to me it's already a blasphemy to any religion TO KILL IN THE NAME OF THE ALMIGHTY BEING. who are we to take the life of another person? Even if you call it a Holy War, a Crusade or Jihad, taking someone else's life is a sin, regardless of whatever reason!

i mean think about it, the Almighty gave us a brain to weigh the consequences of our action including the best possible way to tackle difficulties. we can't just resort to killing and murdering other people just because we have run out of ideas on handling tough situations.

some people just don't get it. they're too immersed with their belief to the point of being a fanatic that they fail to interpret the meaning behind their beloved scriptures. and it doesn't take a genius to know that there are limitations to where and when to kill a person. you can't just barge into a school, a hospital, an office or especially religious places of worship such as the Church or Mosques or Temples and start shooting rounds! these are places of sanctuary for heaven's sake!

maybe the humans nowadays lacks compassion, apathy and empathy. if only they could feel what it would be like to experience the things they're doing to these people, maybe we wont be having this problem. just don't do to others what you don't want others do to you...

maybe the end of time is nearing...

the downside...

okay, as per my previous posting i am now happily living the independent bachelor life. it's nice to come home where the cushions aren't strewn all over the floor, no glasses or plates left lying on the coffee table, the kitchen still in its neat condition and no irritating or annoying voices to spoil the evening mood. life is good, but just like any other norms all good stuff comes with a downside...and in my case, no one is here to pamper me with services fit for a king hahaha.

back in my old pad, my housemates who were also my colleagues treated me with care simply because of my rank. i dont mind being treated as their superior, but it does feel awkward most of the time.

maybe some of you don't quite get what i mean by that. okay, put it this way...whenever i feel like having something to eat, i just need to blurt out something which could indicate my hunger and the housemates would be quick on their feet to prepare a meal irregardless of what the time is...and most of the time, instead of preparing a simple meal or snacks, i would be presented with something like a big portion of 'nasi goreng pattaya', or fried eggs served with tomato sauce or onion rings served with chicken nuggets.

i'm not complaining, it's nice to be treated like a king (hahaha) without being asked. it's just that, it feels kinda weird to be treated as such by your own housemates who are technically strangers to begin with haha. yeah, but like i was saying, when i made up my mind to stay alone, i knew i would lose the privilege of getting the good services. but at times like these, i wish only they were around so that i could fill up my rumbling tummy! hahaha.

then again, the flat i'm staying in now isn't exactly fully furnished. there are three more items which i need before making it a home sweet home... and they are:

a) a fridge

b) a stove

c) and a washing machine

so even if i had invited my ex-housemates to spend the night with me, i doubt that they'll be able to come up with something to ease my hunger pangs hahaha. and if they were here, i probably would need to drive us to McDonalds which is just approximately 500 meters from my place or one of the nearby coffee shops haha. what can i say...i have me lazy bones hahaha.

hmmm...anyhow, might as well sleep my hunger away. goodnite peeps and ciao :)

a ramble of an update...

sooo...it's been more than a month since starting my term here at putrajaya. despite what everyone says about how dead this place is or how boring this place may be, i think i like it here alot hahaha. frankly, there's nothing much for me to complain about living here.

come tomorrow, saturday 30th october 2010, i will be moving into my own pad (which my big sis is anxious to help me do the touching ups haha) about 15minutes away from my workplace. it's nothing fancy, just a modest place for a single guy to live in. and since i just bought myself a new ride (my white rider! haha), everything seems to be going the way how it should be. i mean, i am excited to finally have my own place after living with a bunch of untidy guys who couldn't even keep the place neat for a minute!!

unfortunately, my mom doesn't really approve of me living alone (owh crap, i'm a momma's boy haha). her only worry is that i would be left vulnerable should anything happen to me. i don't blame her though, she's a mom..my mom after all :). and it doesnt help when i keep things to myself even when i do get sick :).

okay yeah, i do miss my mom, dad and my dog poco back home (as for my sisters...you guys are old enough not to be missed haha), and i do miss hanging out with good friends and having a blast with them. but i'm not regretting the least of choosing to expand my experience elsewhere :p.

i've been asked on several occasions on when am i coming back home, and truthfully, i have no answer to that. one thing about working in the hotel industry is that, our working schedule tend to change at the last minute...but i have every intention of returning home sometime in December, but till then i'll just enjoy my life here until that time comes haha.

owh, before i forget. a few weeks ago i was head hunted by an employment agency to work with a leading oil and gas company to lead the communications department somehwere here in west malaysia. they were looking for:

a) a guy
b) with experience working in the hotel line
c) preferably in the communications field
d) good looking

okay i made up d) hahaha. i never applied for the job and i was flattered to have been offered the position. i dare say that it won't be easy for them to look for a guy with the above criterias (i would know, been in the field long enough to know the market haha). but i had to turn down the offer since (as usual) i just started working in a new place and i love working with the current brand. but who knows, if i do get bored one day, the head hunter has given me his calling card to look for him should i ever 'decide' to try out greener pastures :).

there are a bunch of other things i'd like to write, but the moment i start putting my mind into words...everything that wants to be said suddenly goes blank hahaha. figures, maybe it wasn't as important as i thought it was :).

till then, ciao haha

monkey on the wall...

what did i do today?....

well...i had fun today because i tried out wall climbing.

it was fun, the only downside was that...my arms are now hurting and all my 10 fingers feel all wiggly. i couldn't even hold up a pen to sign my dining bill, it kept falling (i meant the pen haha) and when i did manage to get a grip on it, my handwriting was all different and awkward, it's like i'm just learning how to write. just imagine writing on your non-dominant hand (unless you're ambidextrous than that doesn't apply) hahaha.

why did i enjoy it?

climbing is quite a second nature to me. i could practically climb up on anything with a sturdy foothold (except for coconut trees, it's impossible for me to climb up on one of those..and yes, i've tried it haha).

but one thing about climbing compared to then and now is that...back then when i was a looooot younger, i had no problem lifting myself up, stretching my legs to reach the corners or any crevices or protruding foothold was a synch but now...it feels like my body was made of lead and stretching my legs far out feels like pulling a ligament...hmmppphhh, the beauty of aging haha.

not to be a superstitious lad, but i think being born in the year of the monkey has its pros..and climbing is one of it...and jumping and being mischievous, sly, cunning, smart, playful, etc etc hahaha (yeah okay, i sidetracked a bit and i know, self praise is no praise...i get it hahaha).

will i be doing it again anytime soon?

hell yeah! haha (once the sensation starts coming back to my arms and hands haha)

so that's what i did today on saturday...in the afternoon. and right now, i'm holed up in my room (as usual) doing nothing (as usual) and might probably put on my reading glasses and pick up a book (duh, to read..what else?) hahaha :D.

i'll tell you what i did last saturday in my next entry hahahaha. ciao peeps :)

ramblings...again :)

when i first decided to come over and work here in Putrajaya, most of the people i know told me that this is a dead city..dead as in there aren't anything much to be done here, not even karaoke bars or pubs. and my answer was something like 'that's my kinda place'. obviously i got the 'yeah right' response because in their perception of me, i am an outgoing person who likes to go out, socialize and have fun. well, they're partly correct hahaha

as much as i like company in my life, i'd rather spend my time alone doing things that i feel like doing. yeah i know, it's a bit selfish but that's just who i am. so when they told me that i would die of boredom over here, i figured that they don't quite know me well enough hahaha.

i love the fact that this is a quite place, and i love the fact that there's no temptation for me to go out and treat myself to drunken stupor and personally love the fact that since this is a 'dead' place, i dont feel guilty of missing out on the happening things which are going on elsewhere hahaha.

take today for instance, after finishing work i could just stay in my hotel room until it's time for bed but instead, i decided to go out and spend some quality time with my youngest sister who is in cyberjaya only because i had a feeling she might be bored doing whatever she was doing. we had dinner, went to the arcade, did some minor shopping and sent her off in a taxi..and then it hit me, doing all this made me feel OLD, not the elder brother kinda feeling but the old-uncle type brother kinda old hahaha. nevertheless, it does feel good doing charity to someone in need (hahaha, sorilah Joy hahaha).

i am now in the midst of looking for an apartment but damn, the rent here are quite expensive and to make things worse, i haven't gotten a car yet! so moving around is quite a hassle and finding a reasonably priced apartment is quite challenging. but i'm not worried, because somehow rather, i'm pretty confident that everything will work out just fine :).

First Day Embarrassment....

just had to share this story with you peeps....

"knock.. knock..". a tapping sound was made on someone else's sliding door at the balcony, not to hard but loud enough to awaken the sleeping resident in the room...

"eyy, bleyyy..yada yada yada!!", or something similar sounding was uttered...

"sorry, but i need help.." came the response to the startled mumbling. but instead of feeling sorry and face the intruder, the indian guy went straight to the phone and made a call, most probably to the duty manager.

expecting the door would be opened the moment he hung up the phone, he went to his friend's room next door leaving the intruder who was clad only in his boxers wondering why he wasn't being attended to yet. probably the indian guy, fearing for his dear life of a man clad only in his underwear standing outside his balcony clouded his judgment and the plea for help fell on deaf ears.

about 7 minutes later, the door was finally slid open by not one but 5 men, all staff of the hotel. and the first thing the intruder asked for was "can i have something to cover myself up, like maybe a robe?".... no response by anyone, and the intruder rephrased his request, "may i use your clean robe please" and only then did the duty manager come out of his stupor (or more like stupidity) and offered a robe.

before any questions were asked, an explanation from the unfortunate guy who had been locked out from his room for the past 1.5 hours came out with the answers of what they might be thinking, "i was locked out from my room when my balcony door's safety feature failed me...". okay, not exactly an explanation but clear enough to explain as to why someone would be standing outside another person's balcony in his underwear.

the guy whose slumber was disturbed then asked, "why didn't you just call for assistance, you know..just press zero?".

the intruder was about to roll his eyes and said "yeah, maybe i should use telepathy to call them up. I'M OUT OF MY ROOM YOU IDIOT!", but it seemed like the sentiment was shared by the staff as well and i wasn't gonna be an arse at 1.30am :).

just in case you haven't figured it out yet, I, the writer of this entry was the unfortunate boxer-clad intruder hahaha. it took me about 1.5 hours (after the fruitless calls for help) to make a decision of whether to climb on someone else's balcony to ask for help.

at least i took into considerations of the 2 possibilities:
1) climb over and expect a no ruckus involvement from the staff
2) the opposite of number 1

one of the staff even said, "wow, you can even climb over to the other other side?", of which i replied "i may be big but still agile" hahaha.

this is an embarrassment on my part simply because, i haven't even started my first day of working at this very hotel and i've already made a scene, to make it worse, the rank and file staff saw me in my boxers hahaha. this will definitely be shared in the morning briefing with the rest of HODs! on the other hand, i now have something to complain such as:
1) the weakness of the safety feature (i just hope i wasn't the first person to report it)
2) the absence of security guards on the hotel's perimeters.

okay, if you wanna laugh it off go ahead, because it is laughable and i'm finding it humorous as well hahahaha.

ciao peeps...owh man, this is really really embarrassing! maybe i should buy the guy dinner hahaha.

the Q&A...

"aren't you sad that you'll be flying off?", a sudden question broke the silence...

"huh?"

"aren't you sad that you'll be leaving your friends and family?"

"no, why should i?", it's not like i'll be dying anytime soon (not that i would know) i thought to myself...

"so, when are you doing your farewell?"

"what farewell?", aaahhh...finally the question came out. geez..can't anyone come up with anything subtle like, 'hey, let's have lunch/dinner and just hang out',.if they had addressed it this way i would've said 'let's go' in an instant..

as in my previous post, my profession will bring me to Putrajaya on this Sunday, 12th September 2010 and honestly, i dread the totally all new environment. okay, not exactly dreading it, it's a mixture of both excitement and nervousness and whenever i think about my new place, i have butterflies in my stomache hahaha.

but in my opinion, moving to another state doesn't constitute for a farewell party or anything remotely close to implying that i won't be back ever again...heck, it's only a 2 hrs flight to home hahaha.

i know i shouldn't be pissed at anyone for wanting to hang out with me before my departure, but come on people, please do it subtly or be creative because i get bored and turned off easily if i see what's coming hahaha (maybe that's why i'm good with what i do...anticipating what will happen next :p).

speaking of which, the reality of independence is finally setting in and after calculating my living cost budget, i realized that for me to live comfortably and save enough at the same time, i could only get a second hand vehicle around RM12k max (yeah, iswara should do it haha) and an apartment at RM500 max a month hahaha.

since i'll be eworking in putrajaya, i'm pretty glad that i wont be tempted to go out drinking as often as what i've been doing here in kk. been meaning to minimise my sessions but having friends who enjoys drinking with good companies, it's kinda difficult to say no haha. then again, we'll see how it goes...

cheers haha

dreamcast...the ramble haha

what is it about dreams that fascinates us? is it the fantasy of being able to achieve things that can't be done in the real world or is it the fact that we know it's only temporary so whatever bad things that happens in it wouldn't have a lasting effect in real time.

there's this one particular cousin of mine that whenever only the two of us are drinking, we rarely (very) talk about each other's personal life including work because we believe that no matter how much we talk about it, nothing's really gonna change unless we make it happen. but what we do talk about are stuff which would pique our interests, like the occults, paranormal or parapsychology or some other random weird things and we try to relate the topic on discussion with any scientific findings, whether proven or not, that we've come across which may explain it.

so, last saturday we had another session of random unplanned drinking session which he initiated at my place and after covering several topic, we got to talk about dreams. a dream, as we all know it is an intriguing experience, and so far in my opinion there isn't exactly any definite explanation on why we dream.

well, i wont be wasting any time on explaining to you in details what a dream is all about, here are some links to browse through for your reading pleasure on the topic:

a) Yahoo Answers on 'Dream'

b) Wikipedia on 'Dream'

c) Askville on 'Dream'

d) The Scientific Study on Dreams

e) Skeptics Dictionary

f) Scientific American

and finally, my own theory from my previous entry hahaha

anyway, what i'm more interested in now is that, why do we sometimes feel like that time is thrown off balanced in certain dreams. for example, a 5-minute dream can rejuvenate a person as if having been asleep for full 3-hours or lethargy as if having been only asleep for less than 3- hours when in fact a full cycle of 7-hours has been completed.

what i can gather is, for time to be thrown off balance, space and time has to play a role and it would be much easier to deduce that the difference in the space time during our R.E.M cycle and real time could be because a dream state could be equivalent to being in another dimension. sounds a bit farfetched and straight out from a science fiction movie doesn't it haha. well, i have yet to come up with a reasonable argument on this but, when i do (or if i ever! haha) figure it out someday i'll definitely share it hahaha.

anyway, in case you guys haven't watched the movie 'Inception' yet, i strongly advise you to! but a word of warning, it'll take much of your imagination and and understanding to figure out the movie hahaha.

been awhile since i last rambled like an idiot haven't i? haha. ciao :)

once an asset, remains to be one...

In about a months' time, KK would soon be a place of a distance as i embark on a new journey on another Malaysian soil. The idea of starting over in a new place offers somewhat of an excitement where new experiences will be gained but most importantly, a self re-invention is in line.

It's not so much as saying that KK isn't offering the thrill or fun that i need, but deep down inside me, the adventurous part, is dying to live a life of independence somewhere away from the comfort of home.

When the opportunity from the group of company which i left a year ago came knocking, i needn't have to think twice of saying yes when it was recommended to me. although at first i didn't have much confidence of ever getting the post since knowing how the group works, they would only choose the best of people for the post and frankly...i never put myself in the same league to those who are holding the same post at the other properties.

For one thing, i don't exactly have the social finesse to hold the post. when the rest are well dressed and groomed, i on the other prefers to have an unkempt hair as i like it to be free and untouched by any hair styling products. another thing is that i much prefer practicality over style or fashion and from my observation, those who hold the position has an air of class with knowledge of what's in and what's not.

Surprisingly, i had a good recommendation from my previous employer. i know i had a good working relationship with her but most of the time, i'm more of a headache to her as my opinions and working style are more often than not contradict with hers. so you would understand how surprised i was when she recommended my name to the other property.

Maybe being myself isn't that bad. maybe people do listen to me regardless of how non-nonsensical i may sound, or maybe people saw other things in me...the potential in me to make a difference even though i highly doubt that's the case.

As i looked back at my previous post 'the outcome...' which was posted sometime last year when i decided to leave the brand, i am now certain that despite my flaws and lack of confidence, the management did care a great deal about me and all the strict directives and exposuresthrown at me were all about to train me in the field.

Even when i made the decision to leave the brand and move to another company, it was always my goal to get back to the group which had taught me so much and gave myself a time limit to gain outside experiences for at least a year before looking for ways to get back into the group. probably i was meant to be with them because right after a year, the chance came knocking even without me looking for it.

Honestly, i'm not quite sure how i would fare with the new property, but if everything was as difficult as i first started with them or if their system are more or less similar to the previous property i worked for, i'm pretty sure that i will advance through it unscathed, although i do still worry that i won't be able to live up to their expectations.

A skype conversation with my previous employer brought a smile to my face:

x-boss: so, have you gotten the reply from them yet?
me: yeah, i got the job (smiling ear to ear even though it was obvious she wasn't able to see me)
x-boss: great, its payback time! (* it took me awhile to figure this out. after awhile did i realize that she was referring payback time to the time when my current company took me away from them hahaha).
X-boss: hope you will be loyal to SLP this time (the initial for the property)
me: nope, i wont. i'm just going to be loyal to SLA (the initial for the brand name)...

Now, moving to the new property requires me to get an accommodation and so far i have yet to find one which fits my budget. so i'm going to use most of my time searching for a place to live while staying in the hotel for two weeks as that's only how long they're letting me stay there hahaha. owh, and i'll be car-less for the next three months until i get my confirmation letter which is required for a car loan (yeah, the big boss had 'advised' or sounded more like stressed for me to get a car as it is vital for me to get around..though not sure to where haha). so, if any of you out there whois staying in Putrajaya and has a room to spare, do look me up! :D

Hopefully a chance would present itself for me to work with the KK properties after two years . But in the mean time, i just can't wait to leave the past behind and start anew...:D

picture taken is picture perfect?

i'm not much of a picture person, i mean..i try to avoid having my pictures taken most of the time, unless i'm intoxicated or i was in one of those 'i don't give a sh**' moment hahaha.

before, i never really understood the beauty of picture taking. i used to think that those who likes to take pictures are just vain to the core or too much of a show off (which i still think some are :p) and this mind set side-tracked my understanding of what picture taking is all about.

Having reached the big 3-0, a lot of things are suddenly revealing themselves, a certain level of comprehension unattainable due to the long practiced ignorance are finally surfacing and in retrospect, i do quite regret i haven't been much of a 'cam gigolo' to record my life events.

i don't see any harm of having our picture taken, but there's a limit to how much a person should be parading themselves in front of a camera. unless you're a good looking model with something to promote, try to minimize having your alone-self-shot-pose taken...but, there is an exception to it though.

When i browse through pictures, it's not the individuals' self-posing images which would attract me, instead, the surrounding or rather the story of what the picture is about. most of the time, there will be a focused subject which appears in the images and it's understandable if some (or nearly) all of it have that person's self shot taken because it's part of their life story like for example, a self-posed image of a person during his/her holiday or during a wedding. but if it's a random shot of doing nothing aside from vanity, it irritates me. ok, maybe one, two or even three of such image may be acceptable, but more than 10 or 20 is just just plain dumb (unless you're modelling for something)! hahaha.

I dont know, to me, a camera is a tool to capture the beauty and ugliness of life and of this world. 'A picture paints a thousand words' is more than just a corny line, it's as literal as it is because it plays with our imagination like how a novel would. it's like looking at a picture of a person standing beside a lake, we appreciate the surrounding beauty in the picture, the quality of the picture and in the end it makes us wonder if the person in the picture actually took a dip in the water, or why didn't that person do it or what was the person's thought at that moment or of the place or what else is there to be shared or why was he/she there in the first place and with whom... and so on and so forth.

like i said, a picture plays with our mind and imagination mainly because we see what is shown even when we're not there. we try to indulge ourselves in a picture because we are curious to know of what the real experience would be like if we were in it. unfortunately sometimes what the picture represents doesn't tally with what is it about and that's when we start to wonder and let our mind work its imagination. whichever way it is, a picture makes us think..a lot haha.

Geez, i may well be hated by the united vain people of the world or even the universe for writing about this, but it's just an opinion and i am well entitled to an opinion of my own hahahaha.

maybe i just need to chill eh? :)

tears of happiness...

for the first time after a very very long time, i cried silently..but this time, it's not because of anything bad, instead it was all good. one of my best cousin got married today with one of my great friend. after being with them from the day they were together until they actually tied the knot, i dont think anyone could understand how i feel exactly. it doesn't matter though, what i feel have nothing to do with anyone :).

looking up to someone isn't easy, we need someone 'right' to look up to and this couple were the perfect example on the kinda individual and relationship we wanna take as a role model :). what touched me the most was, i was the catalyst to their relationship, and they've acknowledged that.

anyway, i've finally got an offer to work in KL, and i will be moving because...after all the waiting, and my temporary presence, they've finally decided to tie the knot after 8 years of being together and i feel like my role is done. it feels like, i have nothing more to work at and i'm free to move on to another project hehehe.

so far, i'm not sure how my existence means something to someone...but one thing for sure, this marriage is one of the best things which ever happened to me....man, i'm definitely gonna miss this couple and i'm definitely gonna miss the friends after getting to know them from this two people....

yeah, i cried for them because i'm happy and right now...i'm tipsy hehehe.

a fraction of truth

i don't know how i got there, all i can remember were sparkling stars decorating the night sky, few toys strewn on the pavement and me standing on the sidewalk looking at the 2nd floor balcony without much of an expectation.

an alternate observation between the hovering diamonds and the balcony while trying to digest the unfamiliar things around me, a figure exited from the sliding door, walked and stopped at the balcony railing and started looking around as if having lost something.

i hid in the shadows, not quite sure why, but i did anyway. after a while of looking somewhat lost, the figure turned to my direction as if knowing i was there even though cloaked in darkness and made the way down to me. i wanted to run, but i felt stuck..my legs were no longer part of me but an entity with its own mind disobeying the directive passed on through the biological synapses from the brain to the motor sensors.

inch by inch the figure moved towards me until we were confronted with each other. i knew the face, heck, i knew the figure from even when we were facing each other. there were stuff i wanted to say but only one word came to mind, and with regret i said, 'sorry'.

she smiled and started picking up the toys. the next thing i remember was, it was day time and she was standing beside her husband with a baby in his arm. they looked happy, i felt happy because at that moment i remembered what i had told her when i had the guts to confess my feelings,

'i'm not sure if things between us are going to work, but i feel you deserve to be with someone better, and i'm not sure if i'm that person', (okay, just an approximate of what i had meant) and she replied, 'that's for me to decide'.

strange thing about instincts is that, they are most of the time accurate regardless of how unlikely the situation may be.

i stood there for a while, smiled at them and walked away feeling contented because, i was right after all.

few hours after waking up from the dream, i logged into my facebook account and true enough, a greeting was waiting for me by her. i tinge of regret of the what might have been was temporarily experienced, but regret has no place in the present or future because everyone has moved on..as it is supposed to be.

Just an update... :)

The front page of the leisure section in the New Sabah Times today caught my attention, and it has nothing to do with the images, but simply, the heading was quite intriguing to say the least. the headline read 'Are Blogs Dead?' written by (undeniably) one of this city's very talented writer.

so i read line by line and there are truths to what she conveyed and it got me thinking on my own blog. i know it's a bit cliche, repetitive and quite redundant to indicate once more on my reasons for blogging or why i started blogging in the first place.

but you know, aside from having someone to appreciate your opinions and minus those who are only interested on the personal side of it, writing gives off some kind of personal gratification. i once said that, writing is therapeutic and it still is. it's just that, time hasn't really been on my side lately and probably age is catching up with me much quicker than i thought, leaving me less and less inspired to post an entry haha.

i've previously deleted my blogs, a public and another personal blog, and looking back i wish i hadn't done so. every entry is a memory or experience that i had gone through, experiences of being naive, naughty, mischiveous, happy, sad, indifferent and others. unfortunately, my brain was built to store information for a period of time only and after that, it gets lost as new experiences appear. so, hard as i try to remember my thoughts or feelings of yesteryears, only blanks would come to mind.

but i've learned my lesson, and i intend to keep blogging and maintain this blog for as long as i can. if one day, you notice an entry hasn't been made for more than 12months it may only mean that.......

i.....

may....

have....
....
...
.....
......
.......

...forgotten my login details hahahaha :D.

Cheers peeps :)

a dose of reality...

life has both it's ups and downs. when there's a good thing, there's definitely a bad thing waiting to happen. but that's just one of the basic universal laws, something like light and dark; yin and yang; positive and negative; and so on...

but speaking about life, we tend to forget what life is about, or more accurately what living is about. despite how happy we may be, we get lost in the mazes of life's ever changing journey. but one fail safe and fool proof aspect is certain to bring us back to our senses...which i will touch on later in this entry. but first, let's just begin with the happy stuff which makes most of us feel alive.

in the next few weeks, a line up of wedding invitations will be in order. some i might be able to attend, few i will definitely attend regardless of anything and most i won't be attending at all due to my earlier commitments. and weddings such as these would sometimes put me in a confusing situation where i try to assimilate my own happiness with theirs but no matter how i try, my envy to their own happiness overwhelms the fact that i might be in their position sometime in the future :p. heck, 10 years ago i wouldn't give a damn about stuff such as this. but life sometimes plays a funny a game on us. as we grow older, our wants or needs become limited and we start to think about what's going to happen in the next few years, choices seem to become a commodity and uncertainty becomes a lot clearer. but hey, these are just some of the ingredients which makes us wiser to say the least.

the more we are engrossed of what life has to offer, or what needs to be attained from it, we forget that life is about making every second we breath meaningful. we don't need wealth to experience life to the fullest, we just need to understand that even the little things are sources which can bring the most depressed man to become the happiest man on earth.

as i was saying earlier, the one fail safe and fool proof aspect to making us realize this is none other than...death. ironic isn't it, to understand what life is, we need to empathise what death entails. then again, life and death is a never ending cycle which interconnects with each other.

a couple of days ago, a friend and ex-colleague of mine was admitted to the hospital for cancer. i'm not really sure at what stage is he in, but from what i've been told, it's not good. i've been meaning to visit him, but, unlike what my other ex-colleague told me 'ko pi jumpa lah bapa, dia selalu suka tu crita sma ko' (go and visit 'bapa', he had always liked chatting with you), i can't ....... yeah, 'bapa' which means father as he is called in the office, a soft spoken middle aged man of around 40+ of age with three children and a loving wife, he was my colleague in the same department and we would chat while doing our work to keep the stress at a safe distance and sometimes, we would just sit quietly the whole day focusing on the task at hand. even after i left, he would sometimes ask me of my situation at my new work place whenever i call up and he would start complaining in his own gentle way as if saying it would be different if i hadn't left.

but this time around, i wouldn't know what to say if i do drop by and visit. i mean, it's easy to be sarcastic and sanguine on normal days, but, knowing what his condition is like...being the person i am might not be such a good idea. or maybe, i should ignore the fact that he's sick and continue doing what i've been doing all these while so maybe, he could get a dose of my twisted world for a temporary respite from reality..nah, how could i even joke about this.

anyway, i am confused...well, was confused to be exact. as i'm writing this down, i've finally found the answer and the approach am gonna take. if laughter is the best medicine, then i'll inject a large dose of insanity into this head. fingers crossed hahaha.

a pre-dawn mother's day accident....

it's 4am and the night is blessed with such serenity that staying home on a saturday night instead of out clubbing like any other peers my age would be doing at this this hour feels more gratifying to my existence compared to being intoxicated for a temporary high. having the time to myself allowed me to catch-up on my blog hopping, something which i haven't been doing for quite awhile now.

as i sat in front of my laptop, being fully immersed with my reading, the howling of an unknown hound broke the concentration and i was suddenly pulled back to reality surrounded by the four walls within the confine and comfort of my small room.

for some unexplained reason, the howl sounded different from what i'm used to hearing, instead of the howl of a lonely dog, it sounded as if an impending danger is about to happen and my mind wandered to where i assumed the dog was...which is at the small roundabout few metres from my house.

normally, the howlling of a dog will be accompanied by a series of howlings from other nearby dogs as if signaling to one another that they are not alone. but to some of us, if not most, grew up believing that the howlings are due to the presence of the spirits of the deceased walking in our realm. after approximately two minutes, the howling remained from a dog and as i intently listened to it, my mind pictured an accident at the roundabout. ignoring my overactive imagination, i continued my reading when suddenly the sound of screeching tyres broke the tranquility, followed by a loud bang.

"owh shit, an accident...", i said to myself, but surprisingly the urgency to be a witness to the incident was absent, and even contemplated whether i should give in to my curiosity by being there. five minutes later, i gave in, got dressed and went to the crash site with my mom...curiosity runs in the family i guess.

when we reached the place, the car was standing at 70 degrees by its front bumper supported by the gate it crashed onto and bits and pieces of the unfortunate car was strewn everywhere. from what i was told by the witnesses, the bystanders extracted the victim from the wreckage and had him seated at the side walk pavement, it didn't take me long to notice the blood streaming down his face, presumably from the injury on his head as there weren't any visible cuts on the face or anywhere on his exposed body.

i continued to observe his condition. aside from the blood, his hand and feet seemed to be fine as he was still able to move them with ease, which means the possibility of broken bones may be questioned. one thing i'm sure of is, he has been drinking as my nostrils caught a whiff of alcohol emanating from him.

the first thing i did after the brief assessment was to give the police a call, and it was my first time having done it. apparently they have been informed, but whoever made that call probably forgot to mention that a man was profusely bleeding from his head and in need of medical attention because after mentioning it to the attending policewoman, my line was directed to the general hospital of which i gave the attending hospital person on duty the information based on what have been observed.

Ten minutes later, the hospital called again probably for a follow up. but instead of asking me a different set of questions, i had to repeat myself again... yeah, great service peeps , and at the same time, two policemen arrived in a patrol car.

below is an approximate chronology of the accident from my side:

3.08am - screeching tyres followed by a loud bang.
3.15am - arrived at the scene
3.20am - made emergency call (assuming i was the second caller)
3.30am - a call back from the hospital and arrival of policemen
4.00am - left the crime scene (ambulance hasn't arrived yet)

there were several areas which irked me about this accident:
1. it took the police approximately 15-20mins to arrive at scene when (if i'm not mistaken) there were several policemen stationed at another area less than five minutes from the site.
2. they were a bit inconsiderate by asking the victim questions despite his condition.
3. the arrival of the requested medical attention took more than 30minutes to arrive at the scene.

i thought of taking few pictures and probably submit the story to the press at where i'm working at, but i figured they have their own leads within the force and besides, i don't have the authority to question either the victim or policemen hahaa. which also means that, my entry this time will have you exercise your power of imagination...again haha. ciao and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS! :)

when two loonies interact...

"boleh....*mumble mumble*"..., an incoherent mumbling from a homeless guy and my first impression from his crusted hair and pungent smell was he must be one of those young unfortunate individuals who has gone loony due to reasons only he himself know.

from the mumble, i thought he was asking for money and my first reaction to what he was saying was "huh?" even though it wasn't my intention to listen to him, maybe i was curious to know what he wanted to say to me. as he began to repeat the sentence again, i cut him off abruptly and said "tidak" (no), leaving him behind as i head over to the open air restaurant to have my dinner.

after ordering my meal, i sat there wondering to what he was trying to say to me. something was off, and as i tried to recall the sentences he uttered before i rudely cut him off, i remembered snippets of words like "belanja" (buy) and "mi goreng" (fried noodle). not being sure made me felt restless, so i decided to head back to my car and grab my laptop since wi-fi was available there and i might get my mind off the restlessness.

surprisingly, he was at my car standing as if guarding the vehicle. as i went into my car with my back facing him, i was ready to show off some kung-fu moves should he pounce on me unannounced, but instead, he repeated the same sentence again from a distance and this time i heard him clearly, "boleh belanja mi goreng?" (can you buy me fried noodle?). at that moment i felt bad but reflexively, i said no.

i didn't mean to decline his request, and i certainly wasn't sure of saying yes either. but the thought of declining someone of wanting to have something to eat just felt wrong and it bothered me throughout my dinner.

my siblings and i, or rather all my family and relatives that i know of were raised to never be stingy with food. it's like a taboo for us to not share food, and this is one of the many valuable lessons from my parents i was able to digest, a lesson which i will certainly pass down someday to my own children and them to do the same to their children.

from where i was sitting, i couldn't tell if the homeless guy was still there or not. but right before finishing my meal, i had the captain to prepare a take-away and even threw in a can drink to go along with it just in case the guy was still around.

as i walked back to my car, the guy was still standing there, nearby the restaurant entrance. i didn't want the other patrons to see that i bought this guy a meal, but i realized that no matter where i decide to give him the take away, it'll still be conspicuous to some of the patrons there.

the homeless guy wasn't much help at all, he saw me carrying a bag of something in my hand and to normal people, they would've guessed the content would be none other than food since i just stepped out from an eatery premises, then again, i'm not exactly dealing with a normal guy. this may sound funny, but i had to make eye contact with the guy and raised the bag in my hand to coax him over to my car. i can tell the patrons were looking at me, but at that moment i somehow didn't care. why would i be ashamed of doing a good deed, right? as he took the bag from me, few of the patrons stood up to see what was going on. somehow sensing the awkward situation, the guy took me by surprise when he said "terima kasih bang" (thank you 'bro') and walked away fast paced... well, at least he had the decency to thank me before dissapearing into the darkness.

a wave of relief and warm feeling enveloped me, it has been quite sometime since i last did a good deed to someone and it felt good! :). what can i say, sue me for being nice hahaha.

of hunches, experience and observation...

few weeks before i moved to another company (which was last year), i had a strong urge to enquire about my ex, so i met up with her sister and the first question which came out from my mouth was "how many weeks pregnant is she?", and of course, the sister was confused because as far as she knows, no one's getting pregnant in the family.

unable to shake it off me, i decided to send my ex a message directly. i started with the usual "how are you?", "How's everything?", "how's life in the married lane?" but being the untactful guy, i blurted out "how many weeks pregnant are you?" and just like the sister, she was confused as well hahaha. so i decided to drop the question thinking i may be mistaken. But recently, i checked out her facebook and guess what...she's EXPECTING anytime soon, so i did the basic calculation: i left my old company on 6th July 2009 and now she's in her 9th month hahaha.

this wasn't the first though...few years back while having a chat with a good pal about our family background, the same urge came over and i couldn't help but ask if his sister was pregnant. he wasn't sure, but the next day he came to me and said "yeah, she's 2 weeks pregnant. it was just confirmed yesterday...how'd you know?". hahaha, if i only knew hahaha.

i just got back from a group weekend island escapade for 3 days 2 nights. one of my colleague brought her sister along to the trip and i dare say that i was the least comfortable with her. there was something about her which turned me off completely even when she was being all nice to me hahaha. so yesterday, i was having lunch with my colleague and we talked about the trip. out of nowhere, i asked if her sister was having an affair? yeah, among all things i had to come up with that...my colleague looked at me intently, probably surprised with the question and denied it. i'm fine with the denial, besides it has nothing to do with me but she kept pestering as to why i said so. i told her, it was just a hunch and finally she admitted that her 'married' sister is having an affair with another 'married' man and resorted to calling me a 'creepy' person hahaha.

and now, i suspect that my subordinate is pregnant and i'm not sure whether i should be giving her the usual load or consider her situation. then again, she hasn't told me or my boss yet of her condition (if my gut is right) so i may probably ignore it and continue doing what i've been doing all these while. maybe i'll be doing her a favor financially or career wise if she miscarriaged due to the workload as she's still not married to her boyfriend although they're living together (yeah, i have an evil streak in me muahahaha).

sometimes, it pays to be a loner and an observer of humans or body languages. there are just some stuff we would be able to pick up regardless of its practicality hahaha.

owh, hi people..and it's good to be rambling again after the long break hahaha.

sleepless nights solution...

i'm starting to believe that a well rested sleep is a privilege given to the lucky few (or many, depending on the demographic haha), the privileged few of whom i'm not a part of hahaha.

sleeping have been quite a task for me, ok..not sleeping per se, but sleeping early to get the minimum 6 hours of rest. after a sweeping self diagnosis, i couldn't find anything which could explain the inablility to tap into the REM state like what everyone else are doing. i tried googling the causes for my sleep deprivation but no conclusive reason came up of which may explain the cause of it, besides..some of the symptoms doesn't really tally with what i'm experiencing hahaha.

Put it this way, have you ever been extremely tired/ sleepy and eventually fell asleep..but instead of going into dreamland, you seem to be fully aware of your surrounding. every sound you hear registers in your brain and by the time you wake up, you've been sleeping for 5 hours but it feels like you've been sleeping for less than 1 hour! or when you do close your eyes and about to doze off, a sudden random sound suddenly appears out of nowhere but instead of being woken up by the sound, you wake up due to a bright light your brain conjures to describe the noise. or better yet, you suddenly hear someone calling out to you but only in that instant.

and when i do fall asleep, i seem to get this weird dreams...some scary, some quite worrisome and dreams which feels like i literally took part in, leaving me exhausted the next day as if i've only had an hour of sleep instead of the actual 6-8 hours :).

you may think that i'm stressed, but truthfully i'm far from being bothered with my daily routines, i do have a high tolerance when it comes to stress anyways haha.

Having been a late sleeper for quite a time now, i decided to do something about it...no, i'm not taking any prescription drugs to deal with the problem but instead, i've taken up a part time job which requires me working from 8.30pm-11.30pm (or later)..., yeah news flash..I HAVE A PART TIME JOB! hahahaha.

now, there are pros and cons with taking up this part time job. so i'll start with the cons first.

CONS
a) i won't be having any quality lone time as much as i want to
b) i won't be out drinking quite as often (well, haven't been doing that for quite awhile anyway haha)
c) i won't be able to hang out with my buddies without prior arrangement hahaha
d) etc etc etc hahaha

PROS
a) i will be paid for staying up late doing an easy task
b) savings will be a lot easier
c) now i can use this excuse to 'politely' decline an invitation to hang out with people hahaha
d) it'll take my mind off from my day time job hahaha

so, what exactly does this part time job requires me to do? easy, just proof reading the articles before they are sent out for final printing. as you guessed, i'm now affiliated with one of the local dailies here and frankly, i'm having fun hahaha.

my only consolation....food hahaha

the denominations of faith...

I'm not a religious person and i don't go to church unless there's a special celebration going on (i.e Christmas or Easter haha). it's not that i don't want to, but i feel unworthy to step into His holy place because of the things i've done. Only until my burden of guilt has been lifted, then maybe i would start going every week. But if i do go to church, it wouldn't be for the sermons. the songs can easily put me at ease rather than listening to the priest preach...so that only goes to show what kind of Christian i am haha. just because i don't go praying every week doesn't mean i don't have any faith, because i do and no one can take Him away from me :).

For some people, i may be seen as a bad Christian for not doing my weekly responsibility..the heck, i don't really care what other people thinks. I have nothing against Christianity, but i do have something against the institutions which makes up the different denominations there are for the contradicting opinions on how the Bible should be interpreted. i mean, it's bad enough that nearly all religions are claiming the ultimate rights to be the one and only true way to God's promised kingdom that we still have to fight amongst ourselves, the Christians, to claim the right to be the one and only chosen denomination.

maybe it's not my place to argue about this, i just feel like sharing my two cents worth (which is quite worthless in a literal sense haha) on this topic. i may not be religious, but i've read the bible cover to cover on numerous occasions and there isn't one single paragraph which mentions anything about denominations...so it's quite sad to know that these differences existed only because of some pompous guys who claimed or thought they were chosen to be His shepherd. my deepest apologies if i have offended anyone, but it would really be appreciated to have an open mind when reading this entry.

i've been listening to gospel songs quite a lot nowadays, maybe it's a sign for me to start being a practicing Christian haha. As i listened to the songs, a realization which has been buried for more than a decade resurfaced; why do we need several denominations (or religions for that matter)? Put aside the difference of opinions, it doesn't change the fact that we believe in the One and Only Creator of all things. so then, why can't all of us work towards the same goal?

Speaking of religion and God, there is one thing (among others haha) which can easily piss me off. i somehow hate it when people blames Him for all the shit they're going through and when they are doing really well, they somehow conveniently forget that He exists...a real shame.

Then again, we are only humans who are constantly on trial...not to mention confused. so if you're not sure on where you stand or what to do, just try not to think too much about it. instead, do the basic thing on what He would've wanted us to do, which is to have faith.

Our God is a jealous God, and yet at the same time very forgiving for His love knows no boundaries.

darn it...i'm rambling again aren't i? hahaha. it's already 1.41am and the grogginess from the lack of sleep is killing me hahaha. Goodnite and ciao peeps :).

i believe...

some of you may disagree with this entry and some may ignore it completely because this write up will be referring to all humans in general.

i'm not sure how many of us can recall our experiences of what we see or hear when we were still toddlers, where life was all too simple and we get easily amused even with the smallest things. i believe we must've been laughing out of excitement when we first took our first step of being able to walk or run with our own two feet. so excited we are that we exhausted ourselves perfecting the baby steps and trying so hard to be like the adults we look so highly upon. And it helps when the adults or the parents expressed their proudness by giving encouraging words or gestures over and over again making us believe that we are doing one hell of a task!

herein my point resides, we need people to believe in us in order to become someone great. but the act of believing works both ways, we need 'to be believed' and 'to believe' by and to someone or something..and this is where i say all humans are weak and strong at the same time.

let's put religion under the microscope as our subject of discussion. for centuries, we homosapiens has placed our belief/s to a one unseen being/s. We have been practicing and refining the art of believing up to the point of finally having several systems of religious constructs, from a lowly believer to the esteemed appointed by the people (or some may claim by God) religious leader/s.

the need to believe in the all seeing being can be easily explained by several factors where nurture and nature plays a big role in molding a person's belief. most of us are stuck with a religion because we were born in it and raised to embrace it and after years of believing what seems to be the ultimate faith, it would be difficult to turn our heads and ignore the divine existence or else be doomed to suffer in the fiery pit of hell for all eternity.

And yet, logic and rationality is against our beliefs, dictating the possibilities of His existence is next to zero, but still, we hung on to the hope that maybe..despite what our God given logic and rationality tells us, He may actually exist and would one day re-appear to save the souls of his believers and to lead those who are lost back to the right path.

We put our faith to something or someone for strength. we need to believe in something in order for us to achieve great things or to guide us to the path we desire. but most of all, we need it as proof of our own existence...that we are alive and living (although remotely) and that we are actually cared for (although it's only the mind saying it).

Geez, i have no idea what i'm rambling here....a sudden burst of idiotic inspiration out of nowhere. but hey, it's better than nothing right? hahaha.

Anyhow, enjoy the video (or rather song) people :).